The Garden of Delights
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Any Hole's a Goal by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
07 Aug 2022
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Summary
Oh, if only Aziraphale were the two-dimensional service dispenser many of his patrons mistake him for. But alas, he is a victim of the common human malaise that is having a rich, complex inner life. Most relevant to his current predicament, in addition to being generally kindhearted, intelligent, and inclined to being helpful, Aziraphale is also a bit of a bastard. And, sometimes, he just wants to go apeshit.
OR
A bit of a bastard visits his favorite sex club looking for a fun bit of consensual non-consent, and an anonymous serpent is a fan of kabeshiri.
Series
- Part 1 of The Garden of Delights
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Milk It for All It's Worth by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
19 Oct 2022
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Summary
When Aziraphale steps into the stall of the rotunda, the poor darling he’s to cultivate is yanking against their restraints and breathing harsh through their nose as they shout muffled invectives through the silky gag covering their mouth. The ripening sling they’re suspended in sways in sinuous arcs as they thrash, and Aziraphale is put in mind of a furious snake writhing without traction, helpless, on silk sheets.
OR
A bit of a bastard is back at the sex club for more consensual non-consent, and a familiar serpent is ready to be trussed up and cultivated.
Series
- Part 2 of The Garden of Delights
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Doing It as the Romans Do by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
19 Dec 2022
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Summary
"I'm Crowley," they managed and started to stick out their hand to shake before thinking better of it and twitching a limp-wristed wave instead. Did you shake hands at an orgy?
Oyster guy glanced at Crowley all over again, giving them just about the bitchiest, most blatant once-over they'd been subjected to outside the streets of SoHo. They resisted the urge to sneer but couldn't help reflexively slouching so far into one hip they threatened to tip sideways. They knew they looked good. Whatever judgment he reached, though, Crowley couldn't quite read. He simply arranged his expression into a polite smile.
"My name is Aziraphale," he replied and held out a hand to shake.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
OR
It's Crowley's first time attending a big group event at their new sex club, and they're kind of overwhelmed. Luckily, they're pointed in the direction of a more experienced member to show them the ropes.
Series
- Part 3 of The Garden of Delights
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Command Performance by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
22 Jul 2023
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Summary
"Would you perhaps like to watch with me, and then we could move somewhere else after? Where I would be able to give you my undivided attention?"
Crowley's grin bloomed along with the growing anticipation in their belly. "Who says I'm looking for your undivided attention?" they drawled and reached into their jacket pocket to pull out the little remote that controlled the butterfly bullet tucked in their knickers. "I can take care of myself, if it comes down to it."
The way Aziraphale's gaze immediately flitted to their crotch, eyes wide, was immensely gratifying. A flush bloomed up over his cheeks. "You have…?" he breathed.
"I'm all kitted out. Don't need much attention at all. Whatever you can spare would be perfectly fine. And if you wanted to borrow a hand or the like if you 'feel so moved'…" They waggled the fingers of their free hand enticingly. "I'd be glad to assist."
OR
Crowley and Aziraphale run into each other (complete coincidence, Crowley swears) at a burlesque/sex show at the Garden, and a lovely time (and absolutely zero existential crises) is had by all.
Series
- Part 4 of The Garden of Delights
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Dream a Little Dream of Me by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
12 Sep 2023
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Summary
Every time his imagination dares to tread down such soft, domestic avenues, he gives himself a mental shake and a stern reminder about boundaries and the importance of not missing out on the Very Good Thing in front of you by constantly wishing for something slightly different. Crowley made it clear from the outset they're looking for good sex, for fun, not companionship. And the sex is, to be frank, some of the best Aziraphale's had with a new partner in a long, long time.
A distraction, he decides, is in order.
OR
Aziraphale has an ill-advised crush on his new play partner at the sex club, Crowley. He decides to take his mind off it by arranging for an intense consensual non-consent somnophilia encounter with his new, anonymous play partner in the Forbidden Fantasies grotto, Serpent. (Lol)
Series
- Part 5 of The Garden of Delights
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A Mouthwatering Spread by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
05 Oct 2023
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Summary
He looks up and sees Crowely lounging in their chair with all apparent comfort, looking interested and without a hint of impatience in their relaxed brow and faintly curling mouth. Like they really are content to just sit and watch him eat and talk awhile, without expectation, just as they said. And it's always nicer to dine with good company, especially when he's trying something new. He even has a fair idea of how Crowley will react to his excited prattling; they were such a good sport during the orgy, after all. So, he takes another sip of wine and lets himself consider how he might feel, if he were to ask them to stay, whether just as polite company or with that tantalizing something more.
OR
Aziraphale and Crowley run into each other in the Feasting Grotto, where Aziraphale's set to enjoy a chef's tasting. Things get both out of hand and under the table.
Series
- Part 6 of The Garden of Delights
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Thrust Fall by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
11 Oct 2023
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Summary
Crowley blinked and frowned. "Wait, hold on, I'm starting to think we're talking about you having to pay someone to give you a good buggering without accusing you of being a complete pillow princess. But that couldn't possibly be right."
Aziraphale's eyes narrowed dangerously, like he thought Crowley was about to say something very stupid in reply when he asked, "And why is that?"
Crowley shrugged awkwardly, feeling a little caught out, because maybe it was a little stupid, if you weren't living full-time in their obsessed little brain. "Well," they stalled, but Aziraphale's expression was only getting more forbidding, and if they were going to be in trouble, they wanted it to be for something they actually said, not just something Aziraphale thought they were going to say, so they finished, lamely, "who wouldn't want to fuck you nice like that?"
OR
Aziraphale's usual masseur is out sick, and Crowley decides to tempt him into letting them be his knight in shining strap-on.
Series
- Part 7 of The Garden of Delights
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Coming to the End of Your Rope (and Tying a Knot to Hang On) by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
14 Dec 2023
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Summary
Angel rounds the corner into his bedroom and draws up short.
There's a person in his bed.
More accurately, there's a person tied down to his bed: wrists and ankles lashed tight in two bow-wrapped bundles pinned to the metal frame so their body is stretched long like an exclamation point. Two lengths of soft-looking black rope shot through with a single strand of red have been wrapped around their upper torso and hips and tied in place with prominent bows as well. They're fitted with a rufter hood and gagged, and something gold glints at the front of the slender black ribbon tied around their neck.
"Oh," he breathes low, "you're finally here. My helpmate."
OR
Angel and Serpent arrange for an emotionally intense consensual non-consent role play encounter that ends up being more than either of them bargained for. The final part of the main story arc of the Garden of Delights series.
Series
- Part 8 of The Garden of Delights
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Nor Custom Stale Their Infinite Variety by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
31 Dec 2023
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Summary
Aziraphale stands just outside the edge of the rotunda stall and listens as the others take their turns with the captive. Each person has a slightly different technique for how they approach breaking a captive, although there isn't an expectation for any one to succeed. That's Aziraphale's job, as the designated closer for this particular case. The others are there to help him gather data. And, of course, to indulge themselves.
OR
Aziraphale indulges one of Crowley's long-held consensual non-consent fantasies by organizing an elaborate and challenging encounter followed by a metric ton of aftercare.
Series
- Part 9 of The Garden of Delights
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Honey, You've Got a Big Storm Coming by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
30 Jan 2024
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Summary
It was pure coincidence that the first Saturday they had decided to try the new-ish pop-up market located about halfway between Crowley's Mayfair flat and Aziraphale's SoHo bookshop had also happened to be a day Crowley was feeling comfortable enough to try stepping out in high femme fashion. More like luck of the devil, in Aziraphale's opinion, for how instantaneously things had gone off the rails and wound up with him as both center stage and somehow still the sideshow of a bizarre, one-sided rivalry that is one part morbid fascination, one part whatever the inverse of jealousy is, and an additional seventeen parts of prolonged, blood-pressure aggravating foreplay.
OR
Sometimes, with the way they both present, people don't always clock Aziraphale and Crowley as a couple. And (horny) woe be unto Aziraphale when Crowley figures out how to take advantage of that for both of their amusements.
Series
- Part 10 of The Garden of Delights
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Altogether Governed by Humours by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
02 Mar 2025
Tags
Summary
Aziraphale was so, so soft in so many ways that people either forgot or missed entirely that under all the padding he was really fucking strong. Crowley had clocked it early in both of their initial meetings and had not forgotten for even one second. He was so careful in how he applied his strength, and he definitely preferred to use it as a pillar, a bulwark, or an anchor rather than anything more offensive. Crowley loved that about him, but they also loved that he'd occasionally let Crowley coax or goad him into bringing all that strength to bear against them in a more acute way.
OR
Crowley lays a sexy, sexy trap, Aziraphale very willingly springs it as he's meant to, and hijinks ensue. However, when you get too caught up in your own games to be paying proper attention, sometimes a bit of awkward fallout is unavoidable.
Series
- Part 11 of The Garden of Delights