1 - 20 of 163 Bookmarked Items in omg c!techno!!
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Techno's current goals of finding a new cave, a treasure hoard, and enough food to grow up big and strong are going... Well, they were going okay. Except that he hasn't succeeded in any of them! For a tiny noodle dragon, it's a big wide world out there. And no one is nice enough to share with him! But that's alright, because now Techno has a plan.
If he can't find his own home, gold, and food, then he will simply steal it from someone else! It's genius! And absolutely nothing can go wrong!
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Wherein: Techno is a lonely baby dragon, Phil and Kristin are big scary dragons, and nothing really does go wrong.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,253
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 186
- Bookmarks:
- 35
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- 1,042
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This Ao3 Author's Curse Has Got Hands by antimony_medusa for Odaigahara
Fandoms: Dream SMP
06 Dec 2025
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Fanfic author Technoblade has been pre-writing and is excited to start posting his whumptober longfic, his trusty beta Philza at his side. Unfortunately for his posting schedule, the Ao3 author's curse hits him hard, fast, and with an intensity never before seen. Really it's starting to seem like he's cursed.
Does this mean that he gives up posting his fic?
Nah nah nah nah nah he's got this handled. Don't even worry about it. Chapters will be posted come hell, high water, hospital visit, house invasions, eviction, mob action, emergency road trip, or kidnapping. Technoblade never dies, and he never misses an update.
Series
- Part 73 of Gift Exchange Works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,612
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 110
- Bookmarks:
- 25
- Hits:
- 400
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to raise an anarchist (and receive a tyrant) by seasonaldepressionclub
Fandoms: Dream SMP
24 Dec 2025
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Technoblade is a living sword.
For four hundred years he fought wars on behalf of tyrants, but one wish to a dead god sends him back in time to before the madness. Now Techno sets his sights on revenge, and plans to use the youngest heir of the Duke of Blumefallen, Theseus, to usurp the throne and achieve his revenge, then hopefully dip from the drama.
But what happens when the Craft family doesn't want him to leave?
Series
- Part 4 of season's sPoOky bingo board
- Part 1 of spooky bingo board for spooky season (2)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 148,339
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 647
- Kudos:
- 1,628
- Bookmarks:
- 329
- Hits:
- 47,767
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The first time that Techno killed someone was also the first time that he died. Techno came back. The man he killed did not.
That was not the last time Techno has died. It was not the last time he killed either.
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Techno is a vigilante that kills the corrupt in secret, the only one not a hero in a family of them. Things become complicated when he's branded a villain and hunted by the very organization that his family works for. Even if Techno can't die, there are worse things that can happen.
Series
- Part 4 of Combine&Create 2023
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,077
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 403
- Bookmarks:
- 53
- Hits:
- 2,741
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I'll Wipe Away the Frost on Your Eyelashes by floristkills for Anarchy_and_Piglins
Fandoms: Dream SMP
29 Oct 2025
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Not to brag, but Techno's a pretty great mechanic. And not just because his human hands have multiple dexterousness fingers. His skills have gotten him pretty far in the universe. Further than most humans can ever make it.
Almost literally, since humans can't survive faster than light travel.
With the near infinity of space, that little biological fact limits the mobility of their entire species. But, as humans tend to do, they have spent all their experience points on brains over functional bodies. Thus, a solution was created: cryopods.
Cryosleep makes it possible for Techno to travel through space, and his skills make it actually worthwhile for a ship's crew to even bother with him. It's going pretty well, all things considered. If only his body realized how critical it was not to get oh-so sleepy and achy after being frozen alive and thawed out. It really throws a wrench in his productivity.
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Techno is a human on a mixed species spaceship with Phil, Wilbur, and Tommy. All four crew members contend with the effects of popsicle-ification. Thawing procedure is most optimal with shared body heat, copious fur petting, and sugary offerings.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,249
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 207
- Kudos:
- 771
- Bookmarks:
- 163
- Hits:
- 11,487
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“If your dear heart is wounded, my wild heart bleeds with yours.”
Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla
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Most of humanity lives in "habitats", giant domed cities owned and run by vampires. These cities are mutually beneficial for all involved; most vampires powerful enough to own a habitat is independently wealthy and is content to prioritize human comfort as well as profit, and the human citizens are happy to exchange that comfort for periodic blood donations to feed their vampiric landlords.
But there's a dark side to this exchange. And when Techno receive a letter informing him that he's scheduled to be claimed and turned by one of those vampires, he and his twin Niki discover that maybe they're getting the raw end of this deal.
No scheduled updates.
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After seven years of being one of the top heroes in the city, the hero federation finally stabs Techno in the back. (Literally.) Good thing he’s immortal.
Or so he thinks, until he wakes up postmortem on the Angel of Death’s couch.-
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Technoblade's parents died, leaving him responsible for protecting their hoard. A task not exactly suited for a hatchling such as himself. Meanwhile, Phil just wants to find a safe place for his family to live.
For AU-gust prompt: Dragons
For August of Whump prompts: Faint + Long Gone + Coughing FitSeries
- Part 6 of AU-gust 2025
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As soon as cloning became commonplace, vampires saw no need to keep ‘free roaming’ humans around. They are now the dominant species, and humans are made in labs to satiate the need for food.
Broadly speaking, there are two types of humans. Common feeder lines are mass-produced, each branch consisting of over a hundred specimens, created to be sold cheaply to any coven that will take them. They are made with a few simple qualities in mind: nutritious blood, docile temperaments, and no health problems.
Then there are designer lines. Genetically engineered to be as tasty as they come, richer covens are happy to pay some extra bucks if it means having a rare, limited-edition human in their possession.
The Blade line is extremely rare. Techno might be one of a dozen or so left.
Coincidentally, the Antarctic Coven just acquired themselves a collector's item.
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Or: 5 times Techno did not cave and the 1 time he did.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,501
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 187
- Kudos:
- 1,185
- Bookmarks:
- 195
- Hits:
- 17,217
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Gone is the piglin hybrid, gone is the familiar weight of hooves on the ground beneath him. Replaced instead are talons and feathers and beak that he knows caws incessantly at him at any given moment.
Inky darkness covers the feathers patterning his arm and then does it finally sink in what he really is.
A groaning caw escapes his mouth. He’s a crow.
or,
technoblade wakes up as a crow, this is... sort of an issue?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,700
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 86
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 448
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Being a chronically ill teenager can be pretty miserable, but being a chronically ill teenager with a very loving family makes that misery a bit easier to swallow.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,189
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 223
- Bookmarks:
- 31
- Hits:
- 1,150
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Technoblade, famed sell-sword and revolutionist, has done the last thing anyone expected from him: retired. And like any good try-hard, Technoblade intends to commit to the bit. So he writes a letter.
Quackity,
You told me so. Consider the bridges burned.
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AU where Techno's retirement goes a little differently.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,706
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 43
- Kudos:
- 84
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 680
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Techno was your average college student, studying English and hoping to make something of himself. His future is thrown out the window when he gets into a car accident one night, waking up in the hospital feeling like he’s been run over by a car…Okay so he was. He was hit by a car while driving.
He quickly finds out something isn’t right when the nurse asks for his sired phone number. He didn’t have a sire, Techno was utterly human. A boring normal human teenager. Except the twin bite marks he now has tell a different more vampiric story.
Now he’s on the run from the FCS with the very people who turned him. What’s better? To take his chances with the law or the vampires that turned his life upside down?
Or: After getting into a car accident Tehcno wakes up in the hospital only to find out he’s now a vampire. The culprits? Two teenage vampires who've lived far longer than they look.
Series
- Part 2 of 🎓2025♟️
- Part 10 of Werewolves, Witches and Vampires oh my
- Part 1 of A Vampires Guide To Parenthood
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Philza is an ancient vampire, abandoned by his Goddess and utterly alone in the world. Technoblade is a tiny vampire, abandoned by his sire and utterly alone in this world. They find each other.
- Words:
- 20,331
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 17
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Ever since he was a young child, Techno has been suffering from falling sickness, a rare disease that causes sudden seizures and is attributed to a demon's influence. In reality, falling sickness has nothing to do with demons. Just ask Philza, who happens to be one.
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Sicktember prompt 'Medieval treatment' with SBI
Series
- Part 4 of Shae's Sicktember 2024
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Starting from a young age, Phil has taken an interest in psychology. What makes the mind tick and what pushes humans to do terrible things. Cults in particular are a fascination of his, also the subject of his master thesis when he earned his degree. This leads him to the dangerous position of being asked for help by the police when they need somebody to infiltrate a cult called The Blood God’s Chosen.
Phil’s job isn’t hard. Enter the cult as a new initiate, keep his head down, and gather the needed information so police can make arrests. The entire thing should only take a few days.
Then he meets a young child the cult has denoted its sacrificial lamb and things get complicated.
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Techno is enjoying a peaceful evening in a shady alley when he gets fed on by not one, not two, but three different vampires! That much venom would turn anyone into a vampire, and they don't exactly have a test for sire-ternity. Congratulations, Techno is a newborn fledgling with three sires (once they learn that he exists)!
Oh yeah, did he mention that Tommy, Phil, and Wilbur all hate each other's guts? Maybe they'll put it aside for him. If he's lucky. And could an unlucky man end up here? (Don't answer that question)
- Words:
- 23,435
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 23
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As a hacker, Techno is not shy about breaking the law. But when he takes jobs, he sticks to a strict moral code. Working with the mafia would go against those morals. So when The Crow Network reaches out, Techno sees no issue turning them away. No matter how desperate their plea makes them.
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Raise a Weapon to be a Child by LittleLadyMarmalade
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
30 Dec 2024
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Hypixel wasn't a friendly place. There was one rule hybrids live by. Kill or be killed. Technoblade was a weapon after all.
That was what he was trained to do. That was what he had to do. That was the point of it all.
If he wasn't of use, then his masters would just throw him away. Or pawn him off to the next buyer.
But Steve wouldn't do something like that... Right?
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Or: child soldier Techno get adopted by Phil
learning how to be loved and all.-
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Smile MagiCure! by TheRandomizedOne for IridiumPhoenix
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
30 Dec 2024
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“And now, once more, I will bring dusk to this world of light!” A dark, pitch black figure raises their arms dramatically. Sometimes, Techno wonders if he also gets tired of this.
Techno forms his signature blade of light. “Do you really have to do the exact same speech every single time?”
“Do you really have to do the exact same transformation every single time?” Philza quips back, raising an eyebrow.
“Touché.”
Or: Magical girl Technoblade learns about the power of friendship. No this is not a crackfic... barely.
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