Chapter Text
Lance sat in his study, reading a book, the light shining in from the window, when his son entered. Lance rose to give the young man a hug, but the boy, already nearing the age of twenty, simply bowed as were proper, making Lance scowl. He nodded then and invited the man to sit and have some from the pot of tea on the table. He sat across this father, stiff and proper, clearly something of most importance playing his mind. Lance leaned back in his seat, enjoying the opportunity to simply observe.
The boy looked so much as his father, even their manners were alike. And so were their tells. Even if Joshua did not show, Lance had slept next to his father for so many years, that Lance was not in doubt. Joshua was agitated, and perhaps nervous.
After too much silence had passed, Lance urged Joshua to state his business, as he clearly had not travelled all the way out to the country just to see this old man. It was a joke, as Lance was still very much a young vigorous man of forty and two, but his foolish son did not object.
The young man nodded primly and proclaimed, “I have talked with Miss Josefine and found her an agreeable person.”
Ah. So this was the matter his son wanted to discuss. Lance smiled at his son.
He had met the girl, and she was most agreeable and pleasant, but not what Lance had imagined for his son. Still he knew his son took the matter of marriage most seriously, and most certainly regarded his parents' opinions.
“Indeed. And is she fine enough to carry on the title of Lady Kogane?”
“She is not you, but she will have to do.” Joshua said seriously, making Lance sputter. Joshua only barely did not roll his eyes.
“Surely papa you do not think I am that daft.“ He said undeterred and reached for a cup of tea, ignoring Lance almost choking on his own cup.
“I always knew that was going on with you and father. And why no one must know. Why did you insist on being called
Tio
in public. But that I was allowed to call you
papa
in private.“
Lance took a moment to compose himself. It was not that they kept their relationship a secret from their son, but they had never been entirely honest about the matter either. Still some action had to be taken to uphold appearances, and Lance could understand the confusion for a young child to be permitted to call his papa by the title one moment, then denied it the next. Both Keith and him agree they would discuss the matter when Joshua would grow older, but it never came to be. And Joshua never seemed to mind, or have the need to ask such questions. And so time passed and now they were here.
Joshua had deflated a bit in his seat, very serious once more. He opened and closed his mouth uncertainly, and Lance moved closer to hear.
“Sometimes I perhaps wondered if my mama even existed.”
Lance felt the pity and loss dig into his stomach. He had been so young. He barely got to know her.
“She did. She did indeed.” Lance reached over and held onto Joshua's arm in comfort.
“How much do you know of her? “
His son shrugged, but did not force Lance’s hand away from his arm.
“Only that her and father were engaged to be married and they had a long courtship. She swooped in and enchanted father with her spirit, good manners and beauty. And then there had never seen a happier couple since.“
Lance took a deep breath. He could see the weight on Joshua’s shoulder, just like it had been on his fathers. The quest to find the perfect wife, and the reputation of his parents' love had not made the task less daunting or easier for their son.
“Come with me.” Lance said and rose from his seat.
Joshua followed Lance upstairs and waited briefly outside the office, while Lance rummaged around to find what he seeked. Then they were off again, ending up in the gallery where a large handsome portrait of Lady Katherine Kogane, hung next to all the other portraits, each depicting a Kogane. Next to Katherine hung Keith in the same grand fashion, and after that a family portrait of them both with young baby Joshua. A much smaller portrait had been commissioned in secret after Katherine’s death, depicting the Lord standing, next to a sitting Lance, who held a six year old Joshua in his lap. I hung in the Lord’s office away from prying eyes. But this painting was for the public. Lance could remember young Joshua standing below the painting looking up in awe at his parents. Sometimes he would fall asleep in front of them, and Lance would have carried him back to bed, all snuggled up in his caring embrace. Now Lance placed an old sketchbook on top of the bench in front of the painting.
Lance gestured to Joshua to come close to inspect, after he had turned the pages to find the one he needed. He stood back, and titled his head in thought as he looked down at them, a soft smile dancing on his lips. Joshua peered over the pages, hands clasped behind his back in proper fashion.
“Your father drew those in secret during their courtship. It took me many years to persuade him to show me.”
The pages showed stills and sketches of the then young Miss McClain. Sitting at a table, reading a book, looking under the brim of her bonnet, holding a pistol, and sitting on a horse. All drawn clearly in secret, and some only half done, as by memory. Joshua turned the pages, and the sketches became less hurried and more detailed, focusing on the ladies face and elegant silhouette in everyday activities.
Lance observed Joshua's features turning soft as he turned the pages. The glimpse into the woman was much more personal than the large intimidating portrait.
“She is beautiful.” Joshua sighed. Lance hummed.
“What do you see?”
Joshua scoffed and chuckled. “Well father clearly had some talent. They are quite alike.“ He looked between the portrait and the sketches. Lance took a step back, still humming and rubbing his chin in thought.
“What do you not see?”
For a moment Joshua looked perplexed back at Lance, who only smiled back. Now with a target in his mind, he looked down at the pages once more. Trying to look for clues, turning the pages carefully, looking up at the portrait every other moment for comparison, only to gasp.
“It is you!”
Joshua gripped the book together holding it up to his face, and Lance smiled.
“It was always you.” Joshua said. “He courted you.”
He looked to Lance for guidance, and Lance walked over, placing his arm around his son. “He never stopped.”
Now it was Joshua's turn to sputter confused but also amazed.
“But how?” They sat down together.
“Your grandmother was not a very nice person. And as you have been told many times before, my sister was sick. I was her replacement to secure her income so my mama could live a leisure life filled with luxury and pleasure, while her children worked themself thin.
I was just one of the sacrifices on that list.”
Joshua's eyes grew round and innocent. Lanced sighed dramatically and leaned into his side, making the young man chuckle and push him back, too used to Lance’s dramatics.
“But I had just never imagined your father falling in love with me, nor him.“
Lance placed a hand on his son’s head, and pushed the hair from his face.
“Your father loved your mother very much, and you are indeed a love child, believe it or not. But their marriage was of convenience rather than love.“ Lance could see the doubt still in Joshua's eyes.
“After they were married, your father convinced me to come live with them. I have been your father’s partner and spouse ever since. And yes in some ways, I have been the Lady Kogane, long before I took the name.“ He played with the hair near Joshua's ear. Looking at the boy he raised who was now a man. He gripped his shoulders.
“Your mother loved you. You were her one true love.” Lance's eyes were intense as they dark orbs that stared back.
“I want you to think about what I said. You do not have to choose a bride, because it was required of you. Choose from your heart.”
Joshua sighed, gripping his father’s hand on his shoulder.
“My duty requires an heir. What if I choose a bride that can not provide any.“ He said solemnly.
Lance leaned back against the wall unbothered.
“Then adopt, if that is a great matter to you.”
“It would not be true blood.”
“Like you are not true blood of mine.” Lance added, making Joshua gasp in dismay.
“You are my papa!” He said steadfastly, leaving no room for arguments.
“Not by your standards.”
Joshua shook his head furiously, his words becoming quick and hasted.
“That was thoughtless of me… I did not think… I did not mean too…”
Lance barked out a laugh, ruffling up his hair.
“You are forgiven my son.”
They sat for a moment staring up at the portrait. Lance hummed, and he could feel Joshua’s eyes on him.
“Just choose with your heart. You do not have to suffer the same fate as your mother.”
Joshua grew more quiet, like he was sinking into his seat at the bench.
“Maybe even Adwina….” Lance spoke softly, a hint of a smirk on its way.
His remark finally cracked open his son's composure, and the young man curled in on himself, his face flushed at the mention of the girl, groaning into his hands.
“But father hates her papa.”
“He will get over it.” Assured Lance him, even as Joshua’s feet fretted. He forced him to look at him.
“You love her, and I am sure Miss Josefine is a wonderful woman, but maybe not for you.“
Joshua blew out a long breath, finally giving into Lance’s reasoning and his own very obvious feelings. Feelings that had been growing all his life, that had started as puppy love then grew into something else entirely.
“I guess you are correct.”
Lance poked Joshua in the nose.
“Do not choose her because I insisted. Choose with your heart.“ Lance twirled his fingers, while Joshua bit his lip in deep thought, while his face grew darker.
“And your heart?”
Joshua’s face betrayed him with the scarlet flush.
“Have always belonged to only one.“ He said, embarrassed with the confession.
Lance grabbed his neck and pulled him in close to kiss his forehead.
“Good boy.”
Lance gave his husband of over 20 years a subtle push in the side to encourage him to smile as they stood to the great Duke Lotor. Allura rolled her eyes beside them, completely abhorred by her own husband, as Duke Lotor blotted his fangs in what was surely meant to resemble a smile. Lance decided the matter was fruitless and smiled instead at Allura. They both ignored the growling men, to embrace and share hidden glances behind them where their children sat next to each other. Joshua and Adwina smiled infatuated with each other over their wedding feast. Their guests milled around them in merriment. Joshua’s best friend and Adwida elder brother Zachariah, heir and son to Duke Lotor, were toasting to their future happiness and marriage bliss.
Despite their children marrying, forever allying to two the great houses of Kogane and Zarkon together, the two men still acted like petulant children, much to their spouses despair.
Some things will never change, Lance supposed.