Chapter Text
"The historical district is seven blocks wide in both directions. Most buildings are single story but there are a few with other floors."
Toge wrinkles his nose and crouches lower to the ground.
Once he's eye level with his target, he pulls back the sleeve of his jacket to bare more of his hand. He stretches it out, palm up, towards the white Demon Dog. Yellow eyes fix on Toge, then the offering, considering both cautiously before the dog lowers its snout to his hand and sniffs.
"We'll start with the outer buildings and then move toward the center," Megumi says, drawing a line on the tablet in his hand to scroll.
A tongue licks across Toge's palm. Beneath his collar, he smiles, reaching over with his other hand to ruffle the fur between the dog's ears.
"Okaka," he responds to the unspoken question.
"You don't think so, Inumaki-senpai?" Megumi asks dryly.
He doesn't. The strategy sounds like a lot of extra walking and trouble for them, and a chance for the curses inhabiting the district to band together near the center, making their job more dangerous. Weak or not, letting them gather in any large number isn't advisable.
Then again, this isn't his mission to lead. He's the support sorcerer.
Probably, he should keep his opinions to himself. That would be the politest way to behave, to be a helping hand in the background and let Megumi make his own choices. That's how people learn. Staying quiet shouldn't be hard for him, considering Megumi doesn't sign and Toge's too impatient to type everything out on his phone, but it somehow is. He craves to interrupt. In a normal situation, he wouldn't think twice about sharing an opinion, but this is Gojo's special protege—he probably doesn't want him to be spoon fed other people's strategies.
"Sujiko," Toge amends, twisting his free hand back and forth. The motion draws the attention of the other Demon Dog, who bounds over to sniff his elbow.
"We'll do it this way then, unless something goes wrong." Megumi clicks the power button on the tablet and stows it away. He tosses a curious glance toward his shikigami, but says nothing. They've got an understanding about that being Toge's consolation prize, at least.
He nods without much enthusiasm.
"Come on. We only have two hours before it gets dark. I want to scope out the places we're starting with tomorrow."
Toge gives the black dog a quick pat on the head and rises to his feet. Once Megumi turns back around, he lets out a small sigh, scanning their surroundings.
Their hotel is situated in a new neighborhood adjacent to the historical district. Compared to it, the buildings here are packed less tightly together, the streets sprawling and filled with the same dust that's lain there for centuries through all manner of changes around it. Zero pavement, less traffic, and few modern conveniences. Simplicity and a bit of history is cool by him, but he'd rather be at home.
He'd rather have different company, too.
*
Asking for what he wants—needs, increasingly—is troublesome though.
Toge flops down onto the hotel bed several hours later, holding his phone aloft. The display is opened to the contacts list, ready and waiting for him to make up his mind. He frowns at it, beginning to chew at his lip as his eyes narrow in on one name in particular.
There's nothing stopping him. Yuuta asked him to call. Went out of his way to request it, and even if Yuuta was somehow busy right now, he wouldn't be upset by the intrusion. Maybe he's waiting for Toge to call. The way he'd phrased his request made it seem like Yuuta expects him to reach out first.
Which is fine; Toge can handle that. Once he works up the nerve.
Stretching his legs out on top of the bedspread, Toge lowers his phone to his chest. He shuts his eyes, trying to rummage through his thoughts to pinpoint what the problem is. What's keeping him from dialing.
Maybe he's just tired and out of sorts. It's not like he doesn't want to see Yuuta, or talk to him. If anything, Toge wants that too much.
So what's the problem?
A surge of impulsiveness overtakes him. His eyes snap open and he highlights the contact he wants, moving his finger toward the call button. Before he can press it, Toge's phone begins to vibrate, blaring out the ringtone he'd swiped from a playlist online filled to the brim with love songs. He doesn't plan on ever letting Yuuta hear which one it is because ignorance is bliss. And less embarrassment for them both in the long run if his sentimental side stays a secret.
Toge accepts the call, rolling his eyes at being beaten to the punch even as his heart flutters for the exact same reason. He should've known that Yuuta would get antsy not hearing from him since he left.
"Konbu."
"Oh good, you're awake!" Yuuta exhales in relief. "I figured it wasn't too late. Wait. You aren't in bed already, right?"
Toge glances around, noting the irrefutable evidence that includes blankets, pillows, and the end table with a bland lamp stationed on top of it. Whatever. He's not in bed, technically.
"Okaka," he replies, sitting up and combing a hand through his hair to tame the unruly strands in the back.
"Then is it okay if we video call?"
"Shake."
"Cool. Let me just—" Yuuta trails off, and then there's a series of distant hums trickling into Toge's ears as he fiddles with the buttons. Toge sits back and switches on his own camera, propping the phone on the wall his bed sits against. Then he flops down on his stomach and waits.
And waits.
"Takana?" he asks after the pause stretches on too long.
"I'm trying to figure out this video thing. I'm on my laptop," Yuuta answers. Toge arches an eyebrow, impatience beginning to prickle in his veins. Ironic, considering that he'd almost talked himself out of this whole call, but now they're here. He wants that effort not to be for nothing. "Wait. I think I got it."
A swath of dark blue fills the screen as the video feed goes live, Yuuta hovering over where his webcam is pointed close enough for Toge to catch only part of the design on the front of his shirt. When he slowly sits back, Toge's lips curl into a secretive smile as he notes the snug way the fabric clings to the outline of Yuuta's muscular torso. It fits a lot tighter than it did a few months ago; not that he's complaining.
"Tuna tuna," he chimes in, drawing Yuuta's attention.
Yuuta lowers himself into his desk chair. When their gazes finally meet, his eyes lighten up to a shade of blue that Toge's becoming unreasonably fond of because it goes hand-in-hand with happiness. As if on cue, Yuuta smiles. Way too wide for the occasion, but Toge isn't about to complain about that either. If anything, it makes him feel bashful for the indecent tone of the thoughts running rampant in his head right now. He glances away, pretending to read the logo on Yuuta's shirt.
If he had to guess, Yuuta doesn't realize that what's written there is a pun. He probably just thought it sounded cool. Or in the most likely scenario, he liked the color and didn't worry about what the shirt said at all.
'How old is that shirt?'
"Oh, um… I think I've always had it since I started at the school. Why?"
'Nothing. It's just tiny on you now.'
"What?" Yuuta looks down, tugging at the material, which barely has any slack to pull on around his chest. "I guess. But it's still wearable."
Toge snorts. "Sujiko."
"Are you really criticizing my outfit when you're wearing a school uniform?" Yuuta teases. "This shirt's comfortable, which is all I need. But forget that, I want to know how your day was."
He shrugs his shoulders. 'Not much happened.'
'So? Tell me what you did do,' Yuuta signs back at him stubbornly.
'We just looked around the district's perimeter before it got dark,' Toge explains. 'And Megumi went over his plan for us.'
"You guys didn't strategize together?"
Surprise knocks at him, making Toge pause before he can form an answer. He swallows it down moments later, composing his expression. It's not a big deal what he thinks.
"Okaka."
'Is that okay though? ' Yuuta pushes. 'You're fine with what he came up with? '
Toge nods. Actually, he's pretty doubtful about the strategy, but that has more to do with the tediousness of Megumi's plan of attack than anything else. Probably. If they're careful, then his other concerns don't have to become an issue. Toge will be more wary of their surroundings when they're working in case the curses do concentrate near the district's center. In a way, that's ideal for his technique. If he has to, he can exorcise them in one swoop while they're gathered, at the low cost of a couple nasty throat spasms. They'll manage—he stocked up on cough syrup.
On screen, Yuuta's lips purse. He lets out a pensive hum then seems to decide to drop the subject.
"I didn't do much either, but I did get started on weeding," he says, picking his phone up and bringing it closer to his face. Toge watches him fumble with the icons, smiling. He's rewarded for his patience—though it's closer to entertained silence—when Yuuta turns the phone around to show him a picture from the camera app.
"This row is a lot better now." Toge's eyes scan the image, noting the tidy line of green sprouting from the ground. Carrots. In another week or so, they might be ready to pull up. For now, they're free of weeds and seem otherwise unbothered by whatever's been done to them.
He nods approvingly and Yuuta flips to the next picture, narrating, "And this box is cleaned up too."
Near the front row of the vegetable patch is a planter box of old gray wood that houses his snap peas. Toge studies the picture for a moment, then clicks his tongue.
"Hmm?" Yuuta asks.
"Ikura," he says, pointing a finger. Then he realizes the futility of trying to gesture at an image two screens away, and says, 'The soil is dry. It's too light colored, you can tell.'
Yuuta glances back at his phone in alarm.
"Oh, um yeah I might have forgotten to water that one. Sorry, I got distracted. I started weeding then I was trying to figure out what to do with the weeds I tore out, and then, well, various things happened." He smiles sheepishly, laying the phone back down on his desk.
Toge sighs. 'Tomorrow, then.'
"I promise."
"Who are you calling, Inumaki-senpai?"
His head snaps up, glancing over. Megumi stands at the entryway of their hotel room, expression puzzled. Last Toge heard, he was heading over to the city library to borrow books. Apparently, he found whatever he was looking for there, because here he is.
Stretching forward, Toge grabs his phone and props himself into a sitting position. 'Say hi,' he signs to Yuuta, before turning the screen around to face Megumi.
"Hi, Okkotsu-senpai," he greets him politely, face softening.
"Hello. I hope everything's going well over there, and that you're both being extra careful," Yuuta replies, voice stiff. Toge gives them a second then turns the screen back toward him to investigate. Once they're pointed at each other again, he watches the smile on Yuuta's face evaporate. His jaw clenches, prompting Toge to raise a curious eyebrow.
"It's fine so far. We're alright," Megumi states. He shuffles on his feet awkwardly, glancing from the phone in Toge's hands to him. "Uh, I was just heading back out, but it was nice to talk to you. Briefly. Good night."
Then Megumi leaves, as silently as he appeared, and as inconspicuous as the shadows he draws his powers from. Which has to be a record, because out of the handful of times Toge has observed the two of them in one place, Megumi's never bailed so quickly on a chance to chat up Yuuta. Maybe he's trying to be considerate and give them privacy, but it still seems odd.
Just like something else about this exchange.
Now that they're alone together, Toge cocks his head at the camera. 'What was that about? '
"What was what?" Yuuta asks, sitting there stiff as a board, ominous vibes rolling off his shoulders in palpable waves. The fact that he's not saying something is clear, and Toge doesn't plan on letting it remain hidden if Yuuta's this worked up.
He squints back at him.
"Nothing's going on," Yuuta says. A definite lie, but before Toge can call him out, he launches forward with, "Are you guys sharing a room?"
Realization clicks into place; that's what the issue is. Toge settles back down on his stomach, taking the phone with him. "Shake," he answers, 'Why do you ask? ' Even though he can guess why, he'll play dumb for a second.
Yuuta purses his lips, expression wavering between the same tight, cagey look and one of chagrin, like he's aware of how dramatic he's acting. The former mood wins out, and he forges ahead with the conversation. "No reason. Show me more of your room. I want to see where you're staying."
Toge moves the phone a little further away, letting it pan out to show the wall behind him.
"Okay, but what about the rest of the room?"
"Takana?" he asks innocently.
"Inumaki."
"Yuuta."
A frustrated sigh echoes over the line. Yuuta's lips purse some more before he gives in, huffing, "Fine! Are there two beds or one?"
Toge lifts his arm to his mouth, muffling the snort that trickles out.
"Don't laugh at me!" Yuuta whines, looking sullen. "I just don't trust Gojo-sensei not to… well. Making you guys share seems like a joke he'd pull."
"Shake," Toge agrees, only half serious, because it tracks with their teacher's usual methods but he suspects that's not really what Yuuta had in mind. His lips spread into a smirk as he continues, 'And you aren't jealous at all.'
"Maybe I am!" Yuuta blurts out, eyes flashing darker. Then, as if his embarrassment has finally caught up with him, his face falls, along with his volume. "I know what waking up with you is like now. I'd rather not share that experience with anyone."
Toge's pulse snags.
He jerks his head away, feeling heat creep up the back of his neck. Toge inhales, holds the breath for a few seconds, then exhales slowly. When he has a grip on himself again, he glances back.
'There's two beds, so don't get too bent out of shape. Besides, Megumi isn't going to stare right at me while I'm sleeping like you, weirdo,' Toge teases. Satisfaction kindles in his heart when Yuuta's face turns pink and his mouth opens and then closes again without any words emerging.
It takes him a while before he can answer. Which is very satisfying indeed.
"What was I supposed to do? Close my eyes?"
'Could've just woken me up.'
"I didn't want to," Yuuta replies petulantly, pouting back at him.
'Tough. Then you made your choice.'
"Hey." The sudden firmness in his tone puts Toge on alert. He tilts his head curiously, waiting for Yuuta to finish. "I don't want to get too far away from this topic, so, are you okay there? Really okay?"
"Tsunamayo. Takana?"
"I'm worried you seem a little quieter than usual."
Toge huffs.
There are a few things that he's less than thrilled about, but they're petty annoyances. Nothing major. Nothing worth a mention. Toge's stomach churns as he rifles through his mental list of grievances. He's not used to voicing them, to saying much more than the stuff he needs to get by or simple conversations with friends. Sometimes he's sharp-tongued with Panda, Yuuta, or Maki, but it's never anything heavier than teasing or trash talking. Toge doesn't complain; growing up, no one would have listened if he tried to, so it never became a habit for him.
Maybe what he's more unused to is having a willing ear at his disposal. Someone who can hear him. Yuuta did say that this kind of thing is exactly what he wants—for Toge to rely on him. Is it so bad to give him what he's asking for? To add another entry to the list of ways in which he trusts Yuuta? It's a long list to date, and that hasn't led him wrong yet.
Toge taps his fingers against one of his thighs, then decides. He'll try it this way. Once.
'I don't want to be here. There's a ton of work,' he lists off, watching Yuuta's eyes track the rapid chop of his hands as he talks. 'Megumi's strategy is to be slow and methodical. Giving all the weak curses time to gang up on us when we finally get to the center of the district.'
"I see."
'We should be isolating them a block at a time and exorcising them where they are,' Toge adds, frown deepening as he willfully sinks into his frustration.
"That's valid. Both ways are, I think, not knowing what you're up against," Yuuta responds, far too diplomatic for Toge's tastes, but he forces himself not to interrupt. "Is it possible that Fushiguro-kun is thinking of your technique though? You can hit multiple targets if they're in range."
'There will be too many once we start reaching deeper into the district. The curses will migrate to be together.'
"He might not have realized the limitations," Yuuta points out. "He trusts you more than you think, Inumaki. And he respects what you can do. Fushiguro-kun could believe that you're able to handle that. In theory, if you could, it's a good strategy. Pick off some threats without using too much cursed energy in the outer areas, then dispose of the rest in one or two bigger charges."
In theory, but not reality. Toge chews on the inside of his lip.
"Shake," he admits after a pause.
"I'm sure he meant well. Just tell him though what won't work. You're there as support but he can still learn stuff from you. You're more experienced."
"Sujiko."
"Don't maybe me," Yuuta protests. "In any case, I'm not going to let you get hurt because you think you can just push through and not say anything. You have a bad habit of doing stuff like that, Inumaki."
Toge scowls at him. Yes, Yuuta's not wrong, but they don't need to acknowledge it.
"Mentaiko," he grumbles.
"Fushiguro-kun will listen if you speak up."
'Speak up? ' Toge tosses back at him, rolling his eyes.
"Yes," Yuuta states firmly.
"Okaka, tunamayo."
"I get what you're trying to say, but I promise he'll figure it out. I did, once!"
'That's because you're special.'
"Special grade?" Yuuta teases. Slowly, Toge's frown begins to evaporate. He grabs his phone and rolls over on the bed, wiggling up toward the pillows.
'See. You got the joke right away,' he signs once he's settled in, with phone propped against his bent knees.
Yuuta leans forward in his chair, and rests a palm under his chin, watching him relax. "That's because I know your sense of humor," he says patiently. "But please talk to him. You're good at making your thoughts known, and he'll listen."
'You're Megumi's fan now? A few minutes ago you wanted to take him out back and—'
"Inumaki!"
Toge sticks out his tongue playfully.
"Stop deflecting, sweetheart," Yuuta urges, "you can te—"
And then he freezes. They both freeze. Half a heartbeat later, Yuuta's face is flushed a vibrant shade of red. His face might be too. He's not sure. Toge's pulse pounds in his ears, unsteady and loud, blocking him from discerning any other thought than the startled one ringing in his brain, wondering what the hell he heard. Except he knows exactly what was said.
"I didn't mean to say that," Yuuta croaks. "Um, okay, I'm just gonna—"
"Okaka!" Toge snaps. He narrows his eyes, training them on Yuuta fiercely, and hopes that's enough to keep him from fleeing.
"Please," Yuuta mumbles pitifully, breaking their gaze to bury his head in his hands. "Just let me go crawl into a ditch or something."
"Okaka," Toge repeats, a little softer. He's nothing more than surprised, because thus far, he hasn't even managed to coax Yuuta into using his given name, despite frequent, blunt requests. An endearment seems far-fetched by comparison, but here they are.
"Sorry." Yuuta runs both hands down his face, then peeks out from behind them. "I know I shouldn't even be jealous, let alone… but I can't help it."
Toge ducks his head, letting out a soundless laugh. That's true enough.
'I don't mind.'
Yuuta blinks at him. "Really?"
Before he can begin to doubt him, Toge nods fervently, adding, 'I don't like the idea of sharing you either. And you can call me what you want. Give up on the super formal name already.'
Indecision lasts mere moments on Yuuta's face before his lip wobbles into a smile. He sucks in a shaky breath. "Maybe for just a bit longer, Inumaki-kun."
'Tease,' Toge signs, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.
"I know I am," Yuuta retorts. "But um, okay. It's getting late, so we should sleep soon. I still think you should talk to Fushiguro-kun about his strategy. If things get worked out, maybe the mission won't take a whole week."
"Shake." He sure hopes not. The hotel is comfortable, but it's the only decent thing about his present circumstances.
"And when you get back, let's talk."
Toge lets his fingers curl around the hem of the comforter and grip it for support. Only then does he manage a nod.
"I'd ask now, since I already made a fool of myself, but I want to wait til we're together. Hope that's alright," Yuuta trails off.
He rolls his eyes, releasing the fabric clutched in his palms and sinking deeper into the pillows. 'Whatever. I've been waiting for ages. Longer than you since it took a while for you to realize stuff. A week won't kill me.'
"...I'm sorry for making you wait."
'Don't be,' Toge spells out quickly. He furrows his brow, mulling over what he wants to say. Whether he can say it without sounding as tooth-rottingly sweet as it feels in his head. But it's the truth, and he doesn't have any good reason to lie.
Yuuta tilts his head at him expectantly, reading the pause in his movements. Toge sighs.
'Yeah, you're oblivious as hell,' he says, ignoring the pained crease that forms between Yuuta's brows. He'll live. Especially once he hears the rest. Otherwise Toge's not going to have that great of a homecoming in a few days. 'And you're stubborn about the littlest stuff, like wanting to get this between us right, but those are some of the things I love best about you.'
A noise bordering between a gasp and a groan echoes across their call. Toge's expression softens as he watches Yuuta smack his face back into the safety of both palms, hiding behind them. Though his eyes are hidden from view, the trembling smile beneath where his hands rest isn't.
So Toge's not sorry.
"You can't just spring that on me," Yuuta mutters once he collects himself, glaring out through the spaces between his fingers.
'Work on your speech, cause I expect it to be worth the wait. I'll try to be home sooner.'
Across from him, Yuuta lowers his hands. His lips lift at each corner shyly.
"Okay, deal."
*
"You're restless," Megumi comments dryly.
Peeling his gaze away from the hills zipping by for a moment, Toge nods. Ever since they got off the train, excitement has been jittering through his veins, and despite being stuck riding in a car, he can't seem to sit still. Looking out the window gives him something to occupy his mind with, but all attempts at relaxing are futile. He's not going to be able to calm down until he's home.
"We're almost back, so I wanted to—" Megumi says, trailing off. His brows furrow, face sliding into an expression that makes him look younger than the middle school kid he is. It's not quite a pout, but definitely approaching one. Toge tilts his head curiously.
"Takana?" he prompts him.
"To thank you, Inumaki-senpai," Megumi states, words slipping off his tongue awkwardly. His mouth pinches, then opens again. "For your help. I'm sure you weren't thrilled about being assigned to work with me. But without your ideas, I don't think the mission would've gone so smoothly."
Toge blinks.
He'd be lying if he tried to deny the first part, because he didn't want to be put on this job. The rest is an unexpected compliment. Most of all because Megumi doesn't throw around praise lightly. Even to the few people he openly admires. It's not in his nature, at least not yet. Maybe with experience, the compassion budding beneath the surface will flourish enough to where Megumi will be comfortable speaking from his heart more frequently.
Pursing his lips, Toge takes a moment to think. Getting this response right seems important; another duty he has as Megumi's senior.
He needs the practice; before too long, there will be a new first year class to look after. So far, that only means two students, Megumi being one, but Toge figures he needs experience regardless. He knows how to care for people in a general sense, but mentoring them? Both new and intimidating to him.
"Sujiko," he says, then pulls his phone out of his jacket, typing on it with plodding taps of his fingers. Once or twice, he erases and starts over, tweaking and retweaking until he's satisfied with the wording. Then he thrusts the phone beneath Megumi's nose and waits.
'It's good to be confident. Hesitation can get you killed, but knowing your partner(s)' limits is also crucial. Because not knowing them can also get you killed. Being brave but levelheaded is the way to stay alive.'
Megumi presses the phone back toward him once he's read the message, an amused curl to his lips. On him, it's barely distinguishable from a frown, but in the past few days, Toge has learned to interpret. "Thanks for the reminder. Very uplifting."
Toge grins, leaning back in his seat.
"Shake. Tunamayo," he replies, laying a hand over his heart.
"I'll try not to get killed."
"Mentaiko." Don't you dare.
As the car creeps up the mountains towards the school, he contents himself with his newest distraction. They discuss the coming year, the scraps of gossip Gojo has leaked to Megumi about his future classmate, and his plans to tame more shikigami. Toge throws himself into the conversation full force; knowing full well that he'll be out the door the moment they arrive.
*
Air whips through Toge's hair as he bolts through the grounds, chilling his skin but making him that much more aware of the way his heart is pounding. Home. He's home, and after what feels like forever condensed into the space of several days, he's free.
Free to exist and spend his time however he sees fit. With whoever he wants.
Sparing no thoughts for how he'll look once he finds his final destination, Toge runs, kicking up grass as he slogs through a muddy section of flat land—a shortcut to the garden. He's not actually sure where Yuuta is, but if he had to guess, that's a decent theory. Or one of their rooms. Or the unused stretch of roof where they hang out sometimes at night.
Doubt flickers in his mind, making him pause. Toge hunches forward, letting out a breath to ground himself.
It doesn't matter. The nerves are a product of his impatience, not some bad omen. He'll find Yuuta and drag the words he wants to hear out of him no matter what he has to do. No matter how many places Toge has to search for him.
He continues, hustling up the last slope leading to a familiar chicken-wire fence and wooden gate. When Toge crests the hill, his heart drops into his stomach.
But then it rockets back into its proper place when Yuuta turns from where he's standing between rows of cabbages and carrots and beams at him. Relief floods through Toge, giving him a last burst of energy to hop the fence and close the distance between them.
He doesn't overthink a single thing; he's done doing that.
Breathless but happy, he knocks into Yuuta without slowing, and slides both arms around his waist, tugging him into a fierce hug. A moment later, Toge feels the favor returned, squeezes back when Yuuta's hands cup his shoulders, bringing them snug together.
"Welcome home."
"Konbu," Toge returns, letting out a raspy laugh as his lungs try to recover from both the marathon he's just run, and the way he's currently being hugged within an inch of his life by someone with far more strength than they realize. Not a bad way to die, but he's not ready to bite the dust today. Or anytime in the foreseeable future. Once it becomes clear he'll have to, he taps a hand against Yuuta's back, begging for relief.
"Sorry," Yuuta murmurs apologetically, but the way he relinquishes his grip couldn't seem more reluctant if it tried. They drift backward, each taking half a step away. His eyes are a bright, unclouded blue today, cheeks flushed with pink that Toge doubts is from the chill in the air.
He looks Yuuta over, then leans up to prod his face, making sure to poke at the blush. When he rocks back on his heels, he signs, 'Did you remember to eat while I was gone? '
"Yes, I did," is the petulant response he gets, Yuuta's lips pursing even as they twitch in a smile. "It was kind of rough cooking without you, but Gojo-sensei did get everyone takeout once… or twice. But I took care of myself, promise."
Toge raises a brow.
'What are these, then, raccoon eyes? ' he teases, reaching up again to run a finger along the slope of Yuuta's cheek, gesturing at the dark circle beneath his eye. It's faint, but Toge is used to looking for them. Still, it pleases him that they've all but vanished in recent weeks.
Yuuta groans, taking him by the wrist to peel his hand away.
"Aren't you supposed to come home and say how great I look?" he counters, meeting Toge's grin with a pout.
"Tsunamayo."
That's a tradition he won't be starting for his own self-preservation. Yuuta is handsome. He's also sweet, adorable, hot, and a whole host of other adjectives that Toge is absurdly grateful he'll never have to worry about accidentally spouting off. Who would have thought being restricted to a small number of words could be a blessing in addition to a curse?
Adjusting his grip, Yuuta threads their fingers together. "I guess they're there because I've missed having you look after me."
Toge's heart stumbles over its next few beats, thudding weakly against his chest wall. He reddens. Various emotions surge through him, keeping him silent as he grapples with which ones he is willing to reveal. A few times, he sneaks glances at Yuuta, hoping for some form of inspiration, but nothing reflects back at him but a patient, if hopeful smile.
Otherwise known as Yuuta playing right into his greatest weakness.
By the time Toge responds, he's missing half the mischief he wants to convey when he threatens, 'Well, you can't escape me now.'
Yuuta lays a hand on his arm, palm almost eclipsing the width of it, and sending Toge's stomach into flips at how warm it feels on his wind-chilled skin.
"Good, because I don't want to."
Their eyes meet. Yuuta's gaze flickers then, his throat bobbing, and some instinct in Toge puts him on alert. He stands up straighter, every muscle in his body held taut in anticipation. Months worth of that emotion; he's been holding his breath for so long that doing so has become natural. He waits, trying to keep his features impassive out of habit. But as soon as Yuuta starts speaking, he realizes he doesn't need to worry, doesn't need to coddle him so much anymore.
He's fine.
"...I'm in love with you."
Toge exhales sharply. He's not sure why he's surprised; then again, no one has ever told him that before.
Not faltering, Yuuta reaches for his hand again, clinging to it not out of nerves but pure, uncomplicated want. The desire to be that much closer as he pours out his heart. Toge lets him take it, grateful for the steadying influence.
"For a lot of reasons, really, more than I can probably ever list off. You're my friend, my best friend actually, but," Yuuta pauses, curling his fingers around Toge's. "You're also someone I look up to, and who's helped me a lot. Um, I... you know that I've struggled in the past."
"Shake," Toge cuts in, stamping the response with a note of encouragement. A message that seems to be received judging by the way Yuuta's eyes momentarily close in relief.
"And I might still struggle in the future, but I promise that no matter what, I'll take care of you. I'll trust you and rely on you, like you've always done with me. Because that's who I want to be as your partner. As a person too. So, if that's all okay, would you please be my boyfriend?"
Toge doesn't bother with propriety, or something as simple as undoing the zipper he could've gotten the same result with. Tugging his collar down, he surges onto his toes and answers by joining their lips. A thrill zips down his spine when he makes contact, swallowing down the gasp of surprise his boldness has elicited. He doesn't let it reach the air, melding their mouths together impatiently. His hand cups Yuuta's cheek, caressing it fondly with his thumb. A burst of heat explodes under his touch.
Kissing Yuuta is at once better and more vibrant than any of his dreams, because Toge notices things he never had the imaginative powers to cook up. Yuuta trembling when they break to catch a breath, his hand close over Toge's on his face, blanketing it so gently it's like he thinks Toge's bones will shatter beneath his timid touch. His reticence makes Toge want to laugh, if he didn't want to kiss him again desperately. He gives in to the urge, tilting his head so their noses don't brush, humming when Yuuta's other hand catches him at the small of his back.
He takes his time, because it's what they both deserve.
"So is that a yes?" Yuuta asks while contentment still simmers in Toge's blood. His fingers trace subtle circles into Toge's back through his jacket. "Are we together now?"
Toge lifts his free hand where he can see it. 'No, that was all me trying to get you to take your sleeping meds.'
A sudden laugh garbles out from Yuuta's throat, and then another. He hunches forward, resting their foreheads against each other. His breaths softly splay against Toge's skin. When he rises back up to full height, his eyes are glimmering with amusement. Maybe the gleam sparkle of happy tears, if his near field vision can be trusted. Toge smiles to himself, then amends, "Shake, Yuuta. Tunamayo." Of course we are.
"Thanks for being patient with me, Toge."
What? He blinks, but there's no denying what he heard. So instead of doubting it, Toge takes the milestone in stride and hopes the habit will stick. His name sounds good on Yuuta's lips.
'I meant what I said before. You can't get rid of me anymore,' Toge spells out, grinning. 'I'll be like a cockroach. Indestructible.'
He expects another laugh, or even a grossed out reaction, because his metaphor, admittedly, is less than desirable, but it's the best he can come up with on short notice and with a kiss-addled brain. That's not what he gets. Instead, Yuuta's lips spread in a doting, cloying smile that makes Toge want to fling himself headfirst into Yuuta's chest just to hide from its forceful radiance. On second thought, he might have miscalculated, falling for someone who's as blatant about flaunting their love as Yuuta.
Now that he's no longer as shy, that's a dangerous quality to have in someone Toge has signed up to spend most of his time with.
"Sounds perfect. You know, you're really handsome, for a cockroach. Are you single?"
Toge mutters negation words under his breath, throwing up a hand. Squinting back at Yuuta, he lets his judgement sink in for a few seconds before responding. 'No thanks, I have a boyfriend.'
"He's lucky."
Wrong. Yuuta's as humble as always—they're both lucky. As much as he's grown, Toge feels like he's been pulled in those same directions, teetering along for the ride through both ups and downs. He's evolved too. For the better, into someone he's proud to be seen as.
Leaning up, he presses his lips to Yuuta's mouth, trying to let that speak for him. Yuuta cradles his body, lifting Toge slightly off his feet when he attempts to guide him closer. He doesn't falter once he realizes what he's done, instead clinging tighter and deepening their kiss with confidence, hooking a hand under Toge's leg to support his weight.
They remain outside until the sun has dipped below the horizon and the skies melt into layers of mauve and midnight blue, never straying far from one each other. By the time they adjourn to one of their rooms and settle in, Toge is certain of one thing: his message has been received. Loud and clear. He senses it the smiles they give each other while they debate film choices and what side of the bed each of them will get. How he gets his way about the movie the second he playfully sticks out his tongue, captivating Yuuta's attention, and how he's won over—literally—when Yuuta bowls him over to lay on one side of the bed, settling in behind him to cuddle.
He's never felt more fortunate.