Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hello Travelers! Happy Windblume!

The festival activities begin today. From delicious foods to fun games, there's no shortage of things to do!

For more information, please talk to Jean's investigation team!

damn windblume looks kinda cool

it's already better than lantern rite in my books

We just got here.

yeah and i haven't gotten asked to deliver an npc's newborn baby yet

so off to a good start!

Hm

diluc let's go play some games together

No

come on, what about the balloon shooting game?

there's one going on at the tower at starsnatch

You should go.

You're being unnaturally supportive

With the way you two fight, I have high hopes you'll manage to fall off the tower.

that was such a scaramouche line

hey where is he anyway

He said he had something to do and left

huh? i didn't see him leave

guess it's because he's too small to see heh

OW

wtf do u just have a notification sensor whenever anyone in the world says the word small

OW STOP

I CAN SEE U SNIPING ME FROM THE ROOFTOPS

hihi

can i interest u in some poetry lessons?

ehe

im just a humble little bard who wants to help out people from the bottom of my heart!

woooow ur a big meanie

wait!

do u know y i messaged u in particular

its bc i sensed a bond btwn us that no one else shares

wanna hear a haiku i wrote?

"cant reach the top shelf"

"o the woes of being short"

"kneecaps are weak points"

pretty heart wrenching huh

yay!

i knew u would understand :D

whooaa there's a huge cryo regisvine at the end of peculiar wonderland

lol do u think they have a stash of them just sitting in the back

They replace the plant after each team goes through

nice, we love deforestation in the name of entertainment

want to race to see who can kill it faster?

Do you even have to ask

Hello Travelers! We hope you're enjoying the festival so far.

We would like to remind everyone that the gliding challenge is named that for a reason!

We have supplied everyone with gliders for this event. Use them.

Please stop plummeting to the ground trying to get the fastest time.

You will die.

You two are complete buffoons.

I beat his time by 0.2 seconds. It was worth it

yeah? well i have 3 less broken bones than u so i think i'm the winner here

xiao i met ur friend!

THE scaramouche, animal crossing healer extraordinaire

Venti? I thought you were in Mondstadt

Also, what is that chat title

its the coalition of short people!

we refused to be bullied any longer!!

ehe we make great partners

Scaramouche. Hello

I guess

...how are you? Are you getting along with your new team?

Oh

omg wait r we thinking about the same person

yea him!! hes the guy propositioning my bff rn

He is what

i didnt know u knew him too

wooow small world huh

its almost like theres only 16 characters in this whole thing!

Hey friends! Outrider Amber here, reporting out of Mondstadt!

I'm here to cover the food from Good Hunter today. It smells delicious from here!

And—oh, is that Jean? Jean! Hey! Can I have a moment of your time?

Sigh.

?

Do you know how much paperwork there has been ever since the festival started?

J-Jean? You don't normally complain about these sorts of things.

I mean, it's good! That you're complaining.

I always thought you took on too much work.

In just the past few days, there have been dozens of reports of property damage.

Peculiar Wonderland has exploded. Three times.

Just the other day, two individuals somehow destroyed the Starsnatch Tower just by throwing arrows.

To the people of Mondstadt, I have a request.

Please stop drinking all the wine at taverns.

I guarantee you that we need it more than you do.

I've gone to every single one this week and they always turn me away because they've run out of wine.

Um. Jean, is this something you should be saying? Live?

I officially decree that taverns will no longer be able to sell beer to anyone not on the Investigation Team.

This will go into effect immediately.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for me to get drunk.

Kaeya Alberich.

H-huh? Are you talking to yourself?

Kindly log off my account please.

oho you certainly found out fast~

guess that lisa body pillow wasn't an effective enough distraction huh

KAEYA.

hey it's not my fault

if only you had *** ****** **************

...

why is 2fa censored

Utterly hopeless.

Those bubbles are moving at a snail's pace. Are you even trying?

Only a complete fool would get caught by four bubbles in a row.

...why are you even here

she probably wants to join in but she's too embarrassed to say so

You say that one more time and I'll freeze you inside a bubble.

i'd like to see u try

wait i just got the best idea

I don't like that look on your face

don't worry i have amazing ideas!!

see?

CHILDE.

YOUFSLDJFDKL

...are you throwing the bubbles at her?

yeah!! haha

man hydro powers sure are great huh

why was i getting hit by these when i can literally control water

You let me out right now or else I'll SLKDJLFLLD

hahaha this is kind of fun

wait

oh no

oh no oh no oh no

What

Has your self-preservation finally kicked in

You're dead the moment she gets out

do u think this makes me a hydro abyss mage kin

...that's what you're worried about?

I've been meaning to ask

Why was I included in this chat

wdym

Isn't this only meant for short people

I'm not short

xiao buddy

u know ur the shortest one here right

That's only because you're both cheating by wearing hats

uh huuuh if u say so

ooh lets hear it!

i rly liked the change up in the last line

keeps u on ur toes!!

gonna send it off to ur special someone now?

im sure theyll love it!!

I told you I wasn't the shortest one in this chat

Hello

Oh. Yeah

I met some people in real life who helped me pace myself

...my old TA. He made me take breaks

I realized what I was doing wasn't healthy

I haven't had a 24 hour gaming grind session in a very long time

I didn't think you'd bring this up though

...you know I hate it when you type like that

You only type like that when you're feeling uncomfortable

It's a coping mechanism

Venti

...how old are you again

And who might you be?

...pardon me?

Oh! You know Childe. How wonderful.

I do not see how my ability to harm monsters is related to our meetings.

I enjoy Childe's wonderful company, regardless of fighting prowess.

You... are not very pleasant, are you?

Hm. I do have some spare time right now.

Very well. Lead the way.

huh? with zhongli?

have fun

He's too busy losing to me in the lyre competition to care

that's only because the people of mondstadt are deaf

They sure are after listening to whatever you just played

o u mean zhongli?

yeah isn't he so wonderful

he got buffed recently so now his shield is all big and meaty

o yeah i forgot u were the weirdo who reads through all 100 pages of patch notes every update for fun

anyway he said something about going into the database and increasing all his stats by 2k

what

o not for regular people

but he said it's something archons are allowed to do, for beta-testing purposes or something

what?

??

I... yes. I am.

I have learned from past experiences that the people who ask me this question aren't truly looking for confirmation.

Well, to be fair, my friend Venti has painted cat ears and whiskers over all of them.

He always tells me that I need to get better at hiding my identity.

Of course he does. After all, he was with me during the Archon War.

Hm.

I appear to be extraordinarily bad at this.

I would appreciate it if you could refrain from letting him know that you are aware of his identity.

I imagine he would be very cross with me.

sure! what did u have in mind

ehe ok

u can go first!

DID ZHONGLI RAT ME OUT AGAIN

which one of u sent me that anon death threat

aww thanks

it was surprisingly eloquent for something u wrote

What did it say

"I will ****** your **** and feed it to you. You will know the true meaning of hell when I ********** and **** you."

??

wait then who could it be?

it's not like i have many enemies here

i mean, i did push a little kid off the stepping stones game by accident

and used the other participants as bridges in shimmering path

and tripped other people in the great bubble crash

but surely no one can hate me THAT much

Did you forget a certain someone you left trapped in a bubble all of last night

huh? who?

o

You better run, bitch.

wh

how are u running so fast in heels

Do you really want those to be your last words