Chapter Text
“What do you mean, you’re sorry?”
“Prince Gerald!” said Katarina, hastily. “I mean that my little outburst today only happened because of my own misunderstanding. You didn’t do anything, I promise. I’m very sorry for worrying you like I did.”
Gerald tried to steady his voice. “Katarina, today wasn’t a small outburst. There’s no way you would have tried to send yourself into exile—” Gerald was considering writing a formal request to have the word struck from the dictionary – maybe that would finally convince Katarina to stop bringing it up. “—and not have been pushed by something I did! Please, just talk to me. I would never want to hurt you.”
Gerald watched Alan silently heave a long-suffering sigh. The fourth prince was leaning on a wall next to the windows, and while Gerald was usually happy to see the dusk sky and bask in the evening ambience, all it made him feel now was the intense fatigue he had accumulated over the course of the day. Having withdrawn to his chambers early in the afternoon, after Katarina had been found, Gerald was beginning to tire of the view.
Katarina seemed a bit agitated as she sat across the coffee table from Gerald, though she didn’t seem overtly upset. Gerald would have to take the small comforts as they came today. She still wouldn’t meet his eyes, though.
“Katarina,” pleaded Gerald.
“Told you he’d be more difficult than Keith,” said Alan, with a resigned look on his face.
“There’s no need to rub it in, Prince Alan,” muttered Katarina.
“Hey, just saying,” deflected Alan. Gerald waited, counting. Not even two seconds later, Alan looked back at Katarina with his inevitable apologetic glance. That was fast. Alan must really be concerned.
“Say, Prince Gerald.” Katarina sounded hesitant. She did seem to be trying to address Gerald’s concerns, though neither she nor Gerald seemed to be getting any closer to understanding each other. “Do you know what happened to the snake I threw at you this morning? I want to make sure it isn’t laying around in some hallway. I wouldn’t want it to disturb you again.”
Gerald wanted to argue that she wasn’t answering his question, but he decided to simply accept that she was talking to him at all. That was already more than he had the right to expect. “I brought your, ah… your toy with me.” He pointed to a decorative covered dish sitting innocently on the table. “It’s in there,” he added, a bit weakly.
Katarina and Alan raised their eyebrows. Gerald reddened. He may have been able to hide his discomfort from Maria that morning, but these two knew better. He didn’t enjoy knowing that they saw right through him.
Katarina gingerly removed the pocket snake from the dish. “I’ll take this off your hands, then. I’m sorry to have troubled you with it.”
“Um…” Gerald took a deep breath. He wanted to hold onto something that would help him to remember today, a tangible reminder to fix whatever had allowed him to hurt Katarina that morning. After glaring at the snake’s dish all afternoon, through the hours of misery and restlessness, Gerald had decided that he and the toy would be taking that journey together. “Actually, Katarina, if you don’t mind…” He forced himself to look at the newly uncovered snake, and then his fiancée’s face. “I would like to keep it, if that’s alright with you.” Gerald did his best to ignore Alan, whose eyebrows shot up even further.
Katarina’s eyes went wide with surprise, though she transitioned into a polite laugh. “You don’t need to worry, Prince Gerald, I promise I won’t throw it at you again.”
Gerald wasn’t convinced that was the truth, but it was beside the point. “No, really, I mean it.” He looked back down at the snake. Its beady, inanimate eyes shone back at him. “I would like to keep the snake toy.”
“Oh.” Katarina seemed to be feeling a deeper sort of surprise this time. “Are— er, are you sure, Prince Gerald?” she stammered.
Gerald took a deep breath. “Yes?” he managed.
“Oh,” repeated Katarina. “Well.” She suddenly seemed to be deep in thought, and Alan was watching her carefully. The silence between them almost seemed to mean something. “Silly question, but if I did something to upset you, what would you want to do about it?”
Gerald was taken aback. “Something to upset me? What do you mean?” He was happy to be closer to their original topic of conversation, but how had his request led to this?
Katarina’s eyes flashed momentarily over to Alan, who was gave her a stern look in return. Katarina took a breath as she turned back to Gerald, hesitation etched into her face. “I mean, if you thought I was being cruel to someone, or holding you back, or causing trouble, or—”
“Katarina, you already cause so much trouble.” Gerald tried to smile. “It’s one of the best things about you.” He continued, solemnly. “If you were behaving cruelly… It’s so unlike you, I can’t even picture it. Something would have to be very wrong for you to be acting that way. I would just be worried about you.” Gerald paused to think. “As for what I would do… I would want to talk to you and try to understand your reasoning. If your actions were truly bothersome, I would simply explain the problem to you and then ask you to stop.”
Katarina eyed him seriously. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Alright.” Katarina took a deep breath. She held out the toy snake towards Gerald. “It’s all yours, then. Take good care of her.”
Gerald froze. Was Katarina’s question seriously a prerequisite to his ownership of the toy? More urgently, did he really have to take the toy directly from Katarina’s hand? Why couldn’t she just leave it on the table?
Gerald’s thoughts were interrupted by Alan, who took the toy snake from Katarina’s outstretched hand as he sat down next to her. “Her?” asked Alan. “Does the pocket snake have a name?”
Katarina laughed nervously. “Oh, no, not really. No name, but I figured I might as well channel some additional girl power from my closest ally.” She grinned awkwardly. “Go team?”
Alan eyed her flatly for a moment. “Sure.” He returned his attention to the snake. “Is this a garter snake?”
Katarina’s enthusiasm returned all at once. “Yes, it is! Good eye, Prince Alan.”
Alan chuckled. “Thanks. But it’s a shame, a ball python would have been cuter.”
Katarina scowled at him. “How dare you, Prince Alan? The garter snake is the cutest snake of all!”
“You only say that because you see them in the dirt every day!”
“All that means is that I’ve experienced their cuteness first-hand!”
“Sorry,” interjected Gerald, “but how do you know what kind of snake this is?”
“Oh,” said Katarina. “I’ve been studying snakes for years.” She seemed to catch herself, before adding, “You know. For fun.”
Alan was looking at the ceiling, lost in thought. “I learned most of what I know from this neat little book Katarina gave me as a birthday gift once,” he eventually said. “That was a good few years ago, now, wasn’t it?”
Katarina laughed. “You were turning ten, weren’t you?”
“Yeah,” agreed Alan, grinning at the memory. “That sounds about right.”
Gerald thought back to his and Alan’s shared birthday celebration. He vaguely recalled Alan receiving a book from Katarina, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was about.
“I did my best to hide it from you, Gerald,” explained Alan. “I enjoyed the book plenty, but I already knew how you felt about snakes. I didn’t want to let it make you uncomfortable on our birthday.”
“I see,” replied Gerald. “I didn’t realize you had it in you to do that. I appreciate it.”
Alan looked at him. Gerald felt odd. “Don’t worry about it.”
Gerald returned Alan’s gaze. “I wonder…” Gerald took another deep breath. He was getting tired of showing his weakness. “Did you bring that book with you? To school, I mean.”
Alan clearly hadn’t been expecting that. “Yeah, I did. Why?”
“I would like to borrow it, if I may.”
“Uh, sure.”
Gerald was glad that Alan was at least taking him seriously. Alan had an oddly sheepish look on his face, though it didn’t take Gerald long to see why. Alan had stood, leaving the toy snake on the table, and walked over to Gerald’s own bookcase. He pulled out a tall, narrow volume whose spine had been facing inwards.
“Thanks for letting me borrow the shelf space,” Alan offered, apologetically.
“I thought you said you needed me to help you store old textbooks!” exclaimed Gerald.
“I said that I mostly needed to store textbooks,” corrected Alan, “I figured it wouldn’t cause you any trouble if I didn’t leave the title showing.”
Gerald sighed. “I should have known better. I saw the paper instead of a spine and just assumed it was sheet music. You would have kept it with the rest on your own bookshelf, wouldn’t you, if that were the case?”
Alan nodded, passing him the book.
Gerald held the book gingerly, flipping through a few pages. It was clearly written for children, and colourfully illustrated. Hardly an academic text, but still plenty informative for a beginner. Snapping the book shut, Gerald read the title on the cover: Reptilian Rascals from the Rivers and Rainforests.
Something must have shown on Gerald’s face, because Alan was already making excuses. “What? We were ten.”
Gerald couldn’t help but laugh. “I know, I was there.” He gave Alan a look that he hoped communicated his lack of malice. He knew the book must have represented something very important and happy for Alan to have brought it this far from home. “I will read this when I get the chance,” he declared. “I think I would like to learn more about snakes, and this seems like a fine start.”
Alan was no longer defensive. “Alright, if you’re sure.” He looked at the girl sitting beside him. “Anything else to add, Katarina?”
Katarina considered the question. “No,” she concluded, “I think that’s all I have for now.” She turned to Gerald. “Thank you for speaking with me, Prince Gerald.”
She still seemed on edge. Or were Gerald’s own nerves clouding his perception? “No, Katarina,” he replied, “thank you.”
Gerald remained in his seat, with Alan’s book in his hands and Katarina’s accursed snake on the table, as Katarina and Alan left with barely another word. As soon as Alan closed the door behind them, the silence of the space closed in on Gerald. He still didn’t know what to do. Things still felt wrong.
But he did have one way to get closer to his fiancée after today. It wasn’t the direct approach he had been searching for, but it would have to suffice.
Gerald opened the book and immediately flinched at the illustrations on the page. He set the book down. Picked it up, and set it down again, farther from the snake on the table. Breathed.
Gerald picked up his brother’s book, opened it to the very first page, and began to read.
It was properly night by the time Gerald set the book down. He could see why Alan liked it. The colours were bright, but the illustrations were accurate. The text was simple, yet still direct and informative. Once Gerald had gotten through the first few pages, he hit a comfortable rhythm and had an easy time continuing, despite his discomfort with the subject matter.
Gerald looked at his clock. He sighed. On a different day, he might have cared that he was going to sleep so late. Today, he was busy feeling too many different kinds of exhaustion, none of which were related to sleep.
Katarina was bound to be asleep by now. He hoped she was comfortable. He still couldn’t shake the feeling that he had done something wrong, but it was far too late to talk to her about it now. Would she even want to see him? He was glad Alan had managed to reach her that afternoon, but he still felt terrible for himself.
Alan. He had promised Katarina that he would look after her until she felt comfortable again, even if she felt unsafe around her own friends. Even if she felt unsafe around her own brother. Gerald felt sorry for Keith, but from the sounds of things, he didn’t need Gerald’s sympathy. He had already solved whatever problem Katarina had found with him. Of course he had. And of course he had left Gerald behind.
After everything, Katarina had still seemed uncomfortable with Gerald, and Alan still seemed confused by her apparent thought process. If Katarina was still uncomfortable, then Alan wouldn’t have left her alone, time of day be damned. He was far too stubborn for that. Not to mention his habit of ignoring decorum.
Gerald groaned, picked up a blanket, and wandered into the hallway.
He was careful to keep his footsteps light as he passed each door. There was no need to disturb anyone on his way to Katarina’s room.
When he stopped walking – he didn’t even need to count the doorways anymore to know which one belonged to his fiancée – Gerald knocked softly. No answer. He opened the door a crack. Still nothing. Gerald entered the room.
There was still one lantern burning low, casting long shadows in the dark room. Katarina was fast asleep in bed. Anne must have been there recently – the blankets still reached Katarina’s chin. And resting upright on the sofa, just as Gerald had predicted, was Alan.
Alan was looking at him with one eye cracked open. “Took you long enough,” he said, quietly.
Gerald was surprised. “You’re still awake?”
“I wasn’t, but I’ve always been a bit of a light sleeper,” said Alan. He smiled half-heartedly. “Don’t tell the staff, yeah?”
“Right. Yeah.” Gerald made his way over to the sofa. “I thought I might find you here. I brought you this blanket so you won’t get too cold.”
Alan looked at him. “What about you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You need to stay warm, too, right?” said Alan. “I know you’re still worried about Katarina. She doesn’t mind you being here as long as I’m supervising. Don’t worry, I asked.”
Gerald hesitated. He hadn’t considered this.
Alan patted the seat next to him. “Come on. Sit down.”
Gerald did as he was told. He didn’t know what else to do. He jumped slightly as he felt Alan’s arm settling around his shoulders.
Alan laughed softly, careful not to wake Katarina. “Did you forget I’m taller than you again?”
“What? No.”
Alan grinned. “Sure. Now get over here.”
Reluctantly, Gerald shuffled closer until his shoulders fit snugly under his brother’s arm.
Alan made a noise. “Since when were your shoulders this sharp?”
Gerald continued settling in. “Since always?”
“You need to get a better skeleton.”
“And you need to get better manners.”
Between the two of them, they managed to spread Gerald’s blanket out comfortably. Gerald was glad the lamplight was so low. He imagined the shared blanket was an unflattering look.
After a minute of sitting still, Gerald had to ask. “What are you, a furnace?”
Alan patted Gerald’s arm jokingly. “Says the Fire mage.”
“Oh, shut up.”
Another few minutes went by. Gerald found he ultimately didn’t mind the warmth. It had been a long time since he could feel his twin’s breathing this closely. The rhythm of it was calming. The experience was reminding him of times when the two of them were younger, sharing adventures and hiding from the staff at the royal estate.
“Hey, Alan?” Gerald felt some old habit stirring in some dusty corner of his mind. He couldn’t quite place the feeling. It felt like some ritual he had long forgotten, but still needed to perform.
“Hm?”
“Good night.” Gerald felt like there was something he was still forgetting, but he didn’t care. He could figure the rest out later. He was tired now.
“Good night, Gerald.”
Gerald breathed comfortably with the weight of Alan’s arm around his shoulders. He cast one last look at his brother as the two of them drifted off to sleep. Alan was still sharp, at least in all of the ways that had mattered today. Gerald was grateful for that, and he was grateful to have the support of his twin. He knew that wasn’t the way things had always been between them. But it was the way things were now, and they were both better off for it.
Maybe he wasn’t doomed, after all.
When Gerald woke, he felt much more clear-headed and much, much worse.
If Katarina was surprised to wake to the sight of Gerald fast asleep under Alan’s arm, she said nothing. If Alan was annoyed at having to sit still for an hour after waking up to avoid disturbing his sleeping brother, he said nothing. If Anne was displeased at having to take special measures to avoid waking the resting prince, she said nothing. Gerald supposed it was meant to be kindness, keeping him in the dark about the troubles and inconveniences he caused, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were only humouring him. They could just be maintaining an air of politeness. It would be simple – smart, even – for them to do things that way. After all, not even he knew the extent of his own wrath.
Gerald felt guilty to be thinking this way, but despite Katarina’s best efforts to reassure him the previous evening, the fact remained that she had still run from him that afternoon. She had still used her prized pocket snake – her most desperate measure – to get a head start on him, and had anything really changed since then? No, of course it hadn’t. How had he fooled himself into thinking she might be comfortable with him again so soon? She said she was fine, but how could she be? How could anyone? Was she lying?
Gerald still couldn’t grasp what it was that he had missed. What aspect of his own behaviour had he failed to notice? How could he, driven as he was to master everything in his path, fail so miserably to understand himself?
No, it would do him no good to keep stewing in this on his own. He needed a fresh perspective. He needed to apologize. He needed to do something, and whatever it was, he clearly wasn’t fit to do it alone. Gerald sighed. He felt useless.
Gerald glanced at a nearby clock as he strode down the hallway. On a normal day, he should be able to find Katarina in her field, tending to her vegetables. Considering the day of the week, the chances of her being there without the rest of her posse were slim.
Was today a normal day?
Gerald sighed. There was only one way to find out.
Gerald’s feet followed the familiar pathway to the site of the flower garden the school had approved for his fiancée. His head was busy spinning. He half expected the plants themselves to be gone when he arrived, vanished alongside the girl who minded them. That would be the smart move. Uproot everything, run somewhere safe. Exile yourself if your dangerous fiancé won’t do it for you. Some of Katarina’s frantic ramblings from the day before were starting to make sense.
But if Gerald was the root of the problem, the threatening villain, why not just exile him instead? That would be clean. Cut him out, on his own, and leave the vegetable field where it is.
But when the field finally came into view, Gerald found his vision blurring. The scene before him was blindingly normal. Gerald blinked away the tears before anyone had the chance to see them. They had all chosen to stay. They could throw him out later, sure, and that would be fine – they were all still here, where they belonged. Relief cut through him like a knife. He wasn’t sure he could handle the intensity.
That was just how it was with Katarina, wasn’t it? She was always giving him new experiences and new feelings, whether he was ready for them or not.
Katarina was, as always, up to her elbows in dirt. She was wearing her green coveralls as she knelt in the field, fussing over the root vegetables. Sophia sat on the retaining wall next to her, reading a book aloud. Probably one of the romance stories the two of them loved to read together. Nicol was hovering at his sister’s shoulder, in his usual stoic silence. Over by the shed, Gerald spotted Alan standing in the shade, playing his violin. He recognized the song as one from the middle of the setlist Alan and Katarina had selected to help promote the vegetables’ growth – Alan had called the whole endeavour stupid, but had gone along with it all the same. Keith and Maria were nearby, engrossed in their own conversation. Mary sat on her own on a bench near the pathway.
Gerald took a deep breath, steeling himself, and walked over to Mary’s bench. He sat down.
He didn’t miss the glances Keith and Maria shot his way, and he felt Nicol’s eyes on him from the other side of the vegetable patch. He didn’t even dare to look at Mary. “Sorry for yesterday,” he said. It wasn’t much of a greeting, but it would have to do.
Mary sighed dramatically. Gerald turned to face her in time to see her roll her eyes. “Don’t be stupid.”
Gerald hadn’t expected that. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Prince Gerald,” retorted Mary, though she sounded impatient rather than upset.
“I heard,” conceded Gerald, “but I don’t follow.”
“None of us saw yesterday coming. I might not be fond of your interactions with Lady Katarina, but even I know you would never intentionally do anything that could cause a reaction like that. Besides,” Mary nodded towards Maria, “you have a witness on your side. You did your best, and I respect that.”
Gerald was surprised. He had never expected Mary to speak so positively of him, and he had certainly not expected her to reassure him in his interactions with Katarina. “Thank you, Mary.”
Mary scoffed. “If you keep acting like a miserable kitten, you’ll be upsetting Lady Katarina. That simply won’t do.” She glared at him. “And don’t think I didn’t notice you spending the night in her room.”
Gerald laughed sheepishly. “It’s hardly as though my time there was unsupervised. Aren’t you upset with Alan, too?”
“Prince Alan has made his intentions in this time clear,” replied Mary. “Yours are much more suspect.” She sighed. “No matter. You’ve been warned.”
Gerald stared at her. She had barely shown him any hostility before dropping the argument altogether. He almost didn’t know what to do.
“Prince Gerald,” said Mary, interrupting his thoughts, “I hear you are making plans for a certain birthday celebration?”
Gerald almost laughed. He should have seen this coming. “Yes, that would be accurate.”
“I want in,” declared Mary. “I can prepare the floral arrangements, and I doubt you’d do half as well on the décor as I would.”
“Of course, Mary. Only the best for our dear friend.”
“Of course.” Mary seemed satisfied. “Only the best.”
Gerald was nodding in agreement with Mary when he was startled by the sudden arrival of Keith, who sat down next to him on the bench. With the bench full, Maria stood next to Keith. Evidently the two of them had finished whatever discussion they had been having by the shed.
“Good morning, Prince Gerald,” greeted Keith, none too cheerfully.
“Yes, good morning!” said Maria, as polite as ever. She radiated an intense aura of cheer, presumably in an attempt to compensate for Keith’s frigidity.
“Good morning, Keith. Maria.” Gerald felt pre-emptively exhausted. He was not looking forward to the scolding he felt coming. “What do you want?”
“What we want,” began Keith, “is to see how you’re doing. Yesterday was tough on everyone, and apart from my sister, you seem to have been hit the hardest.” He sighed, before eyeing Gerald in an uncharacteristically playful manner. “If what my sister says is to be believed, then you and I are very good friends. And I, for one, am not about to doubt her today. So, as your friend, I want to know. How are you feeling?”
Was anyone going to behave normally today? Gerald was suffering enough without having to put up with everyone’s newfound unpredictability. “I’ve been better.”
Keith didn’t seem to like that answer. “Prince Gerald, I know the feeling, but you can’t afford to blame yourself for things that are out of your control. This isn’t the first time I’ve been down this path. It feels terrible, but please take it from me, when she says she forgives you, that’s exactly what she means.”
“It doesn’t mean she can trust me again, though, does it?” said Gerald, lifelessly. “Forgiveness isn’t even the issue! If I don’t understand what I did wrong, I’ll never know how to avoid repeating my mistakes.” He put his head in his hands. “I’ve tried to figure it out. But none of it makes sense. Does that just mean I’m doing everything wrong, if I can’t even judge what the problem is?”
“Well,” interjected Maria, “Prince Alan said that half of what he spoke with Lady Katarina about yesterday made no sense to him, either, but it’s not like that mattered in the end. Didn’t she also admit that she was looking at everything wrong to begin with?” She put her hand on Gerald’s shoulder. “So, according to Lady Katarina, yesterday was entirely her mistake. There’s nothing for you to fix.”
Gerald didn’t move. “Maria, if you’re going to talk to me like that, could you at least sound like you believe that applies to you, too?”
Maria flinched, and Gerald felt her absently pull her hand away.
Gerald hadn’t meant to sound aggressive. Did he always hurt his friends this easily? This was even worse than he thought. “All of your involvement yesterday was my fault. My idea. You’re certainly no worse off than I am. I personally would say you’re entirely blameless.”
“Maybe things would have gone differently if I had warned Lady Katarina somehow, or told her to meet someone somewhere else.” Maria gripped her arms, almost hugging herself, as she continued, “But I suppose there was no way to know for certain.”
“No,” agreed Gerald. “No, there was not.”
“Well, if there was no way to know in advance,” said Keith, “then maybe you should just be letting this go. Accidents do happen. Perfect prince or not, you’re not immune to that.”
“Not all of us can be forgiven as easily as you, Keith,” replied Gerald. He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice as he continued, “Some of us actually manage to scare Katarina when we almost kill her.”
Keith looked stung. On a better day, Gerald would have apologized.
“Whenever you put Katarina in danger,” clarified Gerald, “she’s the one who apologizes to you. I don’t think the rest of us can count on that luxury.”
Keith huffed. “I’m telling you, yesterday didn’t make sense. I don’t see what either of us did wrong to have Sis react to us that way. So stop—”
Gerald cut him off. “That’s exactly the issue, Keith. None of us can see the problem, so we can’t stop it from happening again.” Gerald stiffened. “Although…”
Keith had already shaken off his bad mood. He always knew what it sounded like when Gerald had a new idea, though it was strange to see him react happily for once. “Although?”
“Suppose you’re correct, and the reason none of us can determine what we did wrong is because none of us actually did anything wrong.” Gerald looked Keith in the eye. “It’s reasonable enough that Katarina might expect to be in danger near one of your Earth dolls. It’s happened before, and it’s easy enough for you to hurt her on accident. So her being afraid of you for factors outside of your control – known factors, at this point – is understandable.” Gerald took a deep breath. “I, on the other hand, have no such precedent. So there must be something about me that intrinsically scares her.”
“Prince Gerald—” began Maria.
“She does look at me strangely from time to time,” Gerald continued, lowering his voice. “Like there’s some dark, unavoidable secret she sees in my face. I don’t know why. She’s always startled when I ask her what the matter is, but she never explains it.”
Keith and Maria didn’t respond. Even Mary was looking at him. This must be news to them.
“Maybe there’s something evil in my face.” Gerald’s despair was starting to seep into his tone. “Maybe it’s as simple as that.”
“Or maybe,” ventured Maria, “it’s as simple as you talking to Lady Katarina and asking her about these weird looks. It’s a reasonable thing to ask, especially after yesterday.”
“Maria!” hissed Mary.
Maria ignored her. “And if she seems uncomfortable, you can give her time to think about it and answer you later. I’ve solved plenty of problems just by giving someone else space to think on their own.”
“Well, talk or no talk,” said Keith, “you won’t be able to avoid her for long.” He waved across the field to Katarina, who had taken a break form tending to her vegetables and was waving cheerfully as she made her way towards the bench. Sophia had taken a break from reading and was now arguing with Alan about what sort of music set an appropriate tone for a romance story.
“I don’t know, Maria,” said Gerald, defeated. “I can’t just force a confrontation like that. Not after the way she reacted yesterday.”
“Well, Prince Gerald,” declared Maria, “if you don’t intend to solve this misunderstanding with Lady Katarina, then perhaps I no longer intend to help you plan her party.”
“Party?” asked Keith, eyebrows raised. “What party?”
“What will it be, Prince Gerald?” demanded Maria.
“Fine, Maria. I’ll talk to her now, I promise.” Gerald felt uncomfortable under Maria’s glare. She held his gaze for another long moment, almost daring him to go back on his word. Gerald wondered idly how much bravery it took for her to confront him like this. It was probably quite a bit, if he truly was as dangerous as he feared.
Katarina was finally within speaking distance of the bench. “Prince Gerald!” she called. “Good morning! I’m glad you made it, we missed you earlier.”
“Katarina! Just who I wanted to see,” greeted Gerald, as warmly as he felt. He wasn’t sure that was quite warm enough, but it was all he had to work with. “If you have a moment to spare, I would like to have a quick word with you over there.” He indicated an open space behind a row of small bushes near the edge of the field. Far enough for a bit of privacy, but visible enough that the others could supervise to their hearts’ content.
“Hm?” Katarina seemed surprised, but not upset. “Sure.”
“Excellent,” said Gerald, relieved. He took her hand and began to lead her over. “This shouldn’t take long at all.” Gerald looked back at the three individuals remaining at the bench. They were probably expecting Gerald and Katarina to have their talk at the bench. Gerald gave them a look that he hoped communicated his good will.
Mary was looking away. Maria gave him a shy but encouraging smile. Keith rolled his eyes at Gerald, but nodded once. Permission granted.
“Katarina?” began Gerald, once they were out of earshot. “I’m sorry to bring this up again, but you said yesterday that while you expected me to be angry with you, you weren’t basing that expectation off of anything I’d already done.”
“Oh! Prince Gerald,” replied Katarina, “I know it might be hard to believe my apology after how I reacted yesterday, but I promise I really, really mean it—”
“That’s okay,” interrupted Gerald, “you’re fine.” He smiled weakly. “I’ve just been, ah…” Fretting? Dreading? Agonizing? “Thinking. About what you said. And how you felt.”
Katarina was already starting to look guilty.
Gerald cut her off before she could object. “It really is fine. I believe what you said, that I didn’t actually do anything to upset you. But you were still upset. So if it wasn’t because of something I did, then…” Gerald took Katarina’s hands in his and willed himself to look her dead in the eye. He needed her to understand the gravity of the situation. He scoured his memory for the right words – he needed to get this right – and settled on a phrase he had heard Katarina herself use before. It was an awkward way to phrase anything, but maybe she would actually understand it. “Katarina, I have to ask. Do I… have a villainous face?”
Gerald was immediately afraid that he had broken something in his fiancée. Katarina was standing there, dumbstruck to a degree he had never seen before. “That’s my line,” she mumbled. “Why are you saying my line?”
How had Gerald convinced himself that Katarina might actually give him a straight answer? He had to move quickly. He was only making things worse. “I’m sorry for asking, but I need to be sure I’m not forcing you to—”
Gerald faltered as Katarina pulled him quickly into a tight hug. He froze. Nothing about this made sense. “Prince Gerald. You do not have a villainous face.” She released Gerald from the hug, but continued to hold him by the shoulders. “But if you don’t mind…” She trailed off, hesitating.
“What is it, Katarina?” asked Gerald, though he dreaded the caveat that he felt coming. He braced himself for the revelation. “You know you can tell me anything.” He meant it, but he couldn’t keep the dread from creeping into his voice.
“Well,” resumed Katarina, “if you don’t mind, I’d like to know as well. Do I have a villainous face?” Gerald forced himself to make eye contact. His breath hitched – there was a subtle desperation in her expression that hit him like a brick.
“What?” breathed Gerald. His face was blank in his shock. Katarina should be criticizing him, not herself. He barely registered the tear that rolled down his cheek. “No! Katarina, of course you don’t have a villainous face! You’re the kindest soul I know by far.”
Katarina seemed surprised by his answer. “You don’t get the feeling that I’m behaving in a way that’s cruel to you, or manipulating you, or anything like that?” She looked away, mumbling absently, “I worry about that so much…”
“No, never!” Gerald half hoped that he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt. The other half of him hoped that he did – whatever it took to get Katarina to believe him.
“Are you sure?” She still sounded uncertain, but was that a hint of relief in her voice?
Gerald did his best to recover quickly. He smiled with all of the warmth and encouragement he could find in his soul. He prayed it was enough. “Yes. Unquestionably. I am absolutely certain.”
A single, hopeful tear slid down Katarina’s face. Gerald watched it fall. When his eyes returned to Katarina’s, Gerald saw that hopeful spark spread through his fiancée until it lit up her entire face. Her relieved smile could already thaw a glacier on its own, but Gerald could have sworn he saw a weight – a tension he had never noticed before, how could he have missed it? – vanish from her very bones.
Gerald was entranced. With a smile like that? Katarina was more resplendent now, caked in dirt, wearing her green, grass-stained coveralls, than she had ever been in a ballgown. Gerald didn’t know how to look away.
He was the luckiest man in the world.
They laughed. It united them in their relief, as they eased into the first shred of mutual understanding they had managed to find after an entire day of searching. They were safe for each other, and they could laugh together. Gerald held onto the sound like a lifeline.
When they caught their breath, Katarina spoke first. “Prince Gerald?”
“Yes, Katarina?”
“If I’m really not being cruel to you,” ventured Katarina, “then you’ll talk to me if there’s a problem, right? Like, with words?”
They had already discussed this to death the previous evening. But Alan had mentioned that she was having significant difficulty with the concept, even without Gerald around to scare her. “Of course. You know how I love it when we get to talk,” Gerald said with a wry smile. He had a feeling that this time, the message might actually stick.
Katarina beamed back at him. “Perfect.” Gerald felt his heart melt on the spot. “Since you’re not cruel to me, either, we should be good to go! No way to get a repeat of yesterday.” Her smile became sheepish. “Sorry again, about that.”
Gerald couldn’t say no to that smile. “It’s okay, Katarina.” He smiled back. “Besides, I think we’ve all gained something from the experience.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Katarina. “Yes! You’ve started learning things about snakes!” She dropped to the ground and started squinting at the bushes. “I can show you a garter snake now, there was a real beauty crawling around here earlier.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Gerald replied hastily. He was only starting to learn – seeing a real snake now, however cute and harmless, would be far too sudden. Gerald shuddered at the thought of it, even as his brain recalled the facts from Alan’s book: average length of 88 centimetres, average mass of 150 grams, frequently found in marshes, forests, and fields, distinct colour patterns for different regions…
“Are you sure?” asked Katarina. She sounded surprised.
“Quite.” Gerald looked back towards the field. He caught Keith’s eye for a moment before Keith managed to pretend to be part of Maria and Mary’s conversation. Gerald chuckled and shook his head. “I think I’ve kept you from the others long enough as it is.”
“Alright.” Katarina stood up, ready to walk back. She gasped. “Prince Gerald, you’re looking rather pale, are you feeling well?”
Gerald froze. He never expected her to catch his discomfort so easily, and yet she always did. He tried to laugh her suspicion off. “I’m fine,” he reported, “I just haven’t eaten yet. That’s all.”
“Well, in that case, it’s your lucky day! We’re harvesting the snow peas.” Katarina grinned at him. “You can eat them right off the plant, so long as you remember to take the strings out.” She pointed to a part of the patch near the spot where Nicol and Sophia were still lingering, waiting for her return. “They look like that. I can pass them to you as I pick them, or if you really want to have fun, you can go get your coveralls and help me out. It’ll go twice as fast if you do!”
Gerald knew there were snakes in the vegetable patch. Katarina had already mentioned one that had been there that very morning. He really should stay away.
Gerald smiled. “The spare coveralls are in the shed, right? I’ll be right with you.”