Chapter Text
"Yeah, Nakamura is quite dangerous when he's confident. He creates a lot of complications for me."
Magnus' husky voice reverberated through the dark hotel room. The blaring lights of Hikaru's phone screen made his eyes water. He rubbed at them with a groan, shifting on the bed. Magnus' face on the screen was blank, exhuasted, like he wasn't trying at all. He had a way of making Hikaru feel unwanted and desired at the same time. He still remembered their conversation all that time ago.
You think everyone is perfect, but I'm not as competent as you.
Is that why I'm in your head, Nakamura?
Face me like an equal.
He had replayed that conversation a million times. Watched every interview Magnus have just to get a taste of him again. Yet nothing quiet satisfied him like the feel of the younger's fingers tracing his jaw, his sharp inhale as he said something snarky. Hikaru found himself craving it, searching for crumbs in their every interaction. Yet he knew what it was. Emotional warfare.
Magnus wanted to boost his confidence, just so he could take it away.
Magnus had won the World Rapid and Blitz for the umpteenth time in a row. People revered him as an icon, one of the greatest the world has ever seen. He could only measure up to be the close second. The incident should've sent him spiralling, but a strange numbness had settled in his body. The cycle was vicious now:
Just one more game. Let me prove myself to you.
He was Yudhishtira, begging to throw the dice again, convinced the next game would change everything.
Hikaru killed the tab on his phone, head falling back against the pillow. His hand traced the peacock feather that had appeared under his foot that evening. There was a sign in Moscow too. It had become a pattern. Their appearance was closely linked to his interactions with the Norwegian. Was Magnus meant to be his undoing? Or were they interlinked in a way he couldn't quite understand?
God, he craved those eyes. The way they would be locked on him in the crowd, scanning him as if they knew every secret. He had entered the Chakravyuh on his own, but he couldn't find a way out of it.
He opened the interview on his phone again. Paused on Magnus' face. Should I reach out?
Magnus had given him his number once, drunken at a post-game poker party. Let me know if you feel like losing, he had said, intending to mock, but the words came out endearingly stupid. He typed in the words on his phone. Magnus. He had saved the number only by his first name, as if it was a consolation. It didn't make him any less dangerous, though. Hikaru stared at the contact name, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.
He hesitated before typing. Congratulations on the win today.
Delete.
Give me a chance to make it even.
Delete.
Hikaru's fingers trembled over his phone. He raised his head, squinting at the dark ceiling. Would Magnus respond, even if he texted? Would he even be awake at this hour? He thought of the Norwegian's sleeping frame just a few floors below him, chest heaving, eyes closed comfortably. Magnus never had this crippling insecurity keeping him up. Hikaru didnt run like clockwork through his mind.
I don't like hotel rooms.
Send.
A wave of adrenaline ran through him, and he chuckled his phone to the far end of the bed. His breaths came in short rasps. He clenched his eyes shut, heart hammering wildly against his throat. He didn't want to think about what Magnus would make of his message. Surely he won't respond. Hikaru's fingers tightened around the sheets.
A ping sounded in his ears. Unbelievable.
His eyes widened at the instant reply. Or perhaps it wasn't Magnus texting. Then again, who would send him at a message at 2AM? Hikaru's hands shook with uncertainty as he reached for the phone. He lifted it, feeling a pit form deep him his stomach. He closed his fist tightly, apprehensive, but hopeful beyond measure.
Meet me at the lounge in 5.
It was indeed Magnus. Hikaru read that message over and over again, in pure disbelief. Not only was Magnus awake, but he was also attentive to his texts, and wanted to see him. His skin felt hot, but he shivered at the same time. The thought of meeting Magnus filled him with uncertainty. Should he go?
He knew that, despite his caution, his heart would carry his feet down the stairs.
He stood up from the bed, feeling strangely exposed as the sheets slipped away from his body. He hugged himself, making his way to the bathroom. He splashed water on his face, feeling the hard chill travel down his spine. He locked eyes with himself in the mirror.
All he could see in himself anymore was the presence of Magnus. The deep desire to win.
Magnus was already there when he arrived. He was sprawled across the couch, wearing corduroy trousers and a long sleeve T shirt. The line of his muscles poked out from under the fabric. His lazy, almost bored demanour was a stark contrast to Hikaru. His feet felt jittery as they approached the lounge. He paused at the threshold, clutching the doorframe tight. Alerted by his faint foorsteps, Magnus looked up. Hikaru swallowed thickly as he was captured by the younger's gaze.
And it all came flooding back. Winning, crying, one more game.
Magnus opened his mouth, but not to invite him in.
"I don't like hotel rooms either," he confessed, cold. "They feel impersonal. I especially hate them when I'm alone."
"Yeah, exactly." Hikaru chuckled bitterly.
There was a long exhale from Magnus. He stood, folding his arms, and a pang of anxiety shot through his heart.
"How are you doing, Hikaru?"
The question hit him deep inside, like a pair of dice slamming against the wooden board. It echoed through his heart. Did Magnus really want to know, or was it just another move to deduce his weaknesses?
"Like always." He replied. "Winning a bit, losing a bit, and....looking forward to seeing you." The confession left him breathless.
Magnus smiled, a quiet demonstration of control. He walked closer, and made him squirm. "Good."
"Is it, though?" challenged Hikaru, raising his head.
Magnus closed the gap between them, his hand coming to trace Hikaru's arm. It sent an electrifying jolt down his skin. "I...I keep thinking of you. I don't know what to do with it." Magnus murmured. His voice was strangely small. "I know you feel it too."
Hikaru shook his head, yet leaned desperately into the touch. "Magnus, we don't fit together." He whispered.
"Why?" Magnus commanded, agitation dripping from his voice. Suddenly, he tightened his grip, and Hikaru yelped. "Hikaru, you've been living in my mind all these years. When I win, I think of how it would impact you."
So Magnus felt it too. The delirious obsession weighing in on every decision in his life.
"That's- that's how I feel." He choked out.
"Then what do you want from me?" Magnus whispered.
Hikaru trembled, the words sticking in his throat. The years of obsession, of late night stalking, analysing games a thousand times came to a standstill in his mind.
"I want to fight." He bit back. "I want to know I'm worth standing on the same ground as you. Without hiding from you, without pretending."
"Hikaru...." Magnus' grip loosened, and his fingers lightly stroked the older's elbow. "You don't have to fight alone. We can-"
"No, you don't get it." Hikaru stepped back, letting Magnus' hand fall. He winced as he heard it hit his thigh.
He felt the malice of the court biting into him. The clicking of the dice grew harsher by the second.
His body betrayed him. He whimpered, feeling lump rise in his throat. His breathing was laboured as he tried to get his emotions in check. He felt a large hand on his back. He signed as Magnus squeezed it, and it seemed to make him feel lighter.
"It's okay. I'm right here."
The other hand grabbed his shoulder, and Magnus bent forward to kiss his forehead lightly. It sent a burst of warmth through his chest. Hikaru nodded against him, letting out a long sigh. The weight on his heart seemed to have grown lighter.
They stayed like that for a few seconds, breathing each other in. And then Magnus spoke.
"You want to get out of here? Go for a drive?"
Hikaru looked up at him. He knew that sleep wouldn't come, and not without harrowing anxiety. And he longed to spend more time with Magnus, even if they were in a limbo.
"Alright. Let's go."
****
The dark road stretched ahead, illuminated in fragments by the streetlights and covered in webbed shadows of the trees. Gravel crunched under tired tires as they drove. An occasional breeze rolled in through the window, tousling Hikaru's hair. For the first time in ages, he felt the smallest sliver of calm.
Magnus drove steadily, one hand on the steering wheel, and the other placed near Hikaru's sleeve. Hikaru didn't mind being his silent anchor. They barely spoke, simply feeling each other's calm presence in a way they never had. The moment felt weightless, suspended in air.
Hikaru's thoughts drifted through various topics, his mind returning occasionally to the road. They were going around a hill, and perhaps Magnus' intension was for them feel the cool gust of wind coming down. He found that he didn't mind not knowing.
But it was as if fate itself chose to intervene.
A small, iridescent blur appeared in the corner of his eye. Something bright flickered against the windshield, caught in one of the wipers. Hikaru blinked rapidly, heart catching in his throat. It felt all to familiar.
A single peacock feather had gotten stuck against the glass, swaying like a warning. Where had it come from? Hikaru followed it with his eyes, feeling a burning sense of apprehension. Magnus shifted uncomfortably next to him. He had spotted it too. It had wedged itself right in front of them, blocking Magnus' view.
A sudden tension shot through the car.
"This damn feather," Magnus muttered, eyes narrowing. "Why is it so bright?"
Hikaru reached for his arm. "Magnus, it-"
But the words died in his throat.
A flash of blue and green against the night, and the feather shot across the windshield with a force neither of them expected. Magnus startled, gripping the wheel, but the car had already spun out of control. The violent swerve slammed him sideways, gravity threatening to tear his chest apart.
Gravel skittered everywhere, crushing under them in heaps. Trees zoomed past, and he could hear the shrill screech of metal against concrete. A jolt threw Hikaru's body upward, and he saw the cliff looming closer through the window.
"Magnus!" The yell was instinctive, and his hands scrambled to find the other.
There was a thump, a yell from the Norwegian, and the car teetered again.
"Hikaru, don't move!"
Hikaru's fingers dug into the door handle, knuckles white, as he felt the car swerve. He tried not look at the window, where the dark void threatened to swallow him. They were dangling by a thread, threatening to topple over any second. Hikaru couldn't speak. His throat had clogged up, fear spasming through his limbs.
The car stilled, for a moment. He turned to Magnus. His face had paled entirely.
"Are we...?"
"We're hanging." He whispered hoarsely.
The cliff loomed next to him, gravity threatening to tug him inside. But it was Magnus' weight on the other side of the car that prevented him from falling. They were balanced, albeit in a terrifying fashion, each second extending into eternity. In this moment, life and death was only separated by a split second.
They swayed again. Hikaru whimpered, Magnus held the seat hard. Each shudder of the car sent a jolt through his chest. But they fell into equilibrium once more time.
"We need to get help," he whispered, tears prickling at his eyes.
"I can't move," Magnus murmured.
Hikaru's heart thundered against his ribs, and he realised he couldn't feel his legs anymore. And then a thought sliced through him like a cold knife. Magnus was on the safe side, and it was because of his weight that they were angled towards the cliff. If I go, Magnus would be safe.
His hand closed around the car door that opened right into the void.
Hikaru turned to Magnus, taking in his sharp features. He looked into the eyes that he had craved for years to come, ones which had currently latched onto him in panic. He thought of the world far below, where tournaments and victories awaited him. The Norwegian didn't deserve to die like this. He had a legacy to create. Him, on the other hand....
The thought was relentless, clawing at his mind. Every sacrifice he had ever made seemed trivial compared to this. In this moment, nothing else mattered beyond Magnus' safety. Not his ego, his pride, not his victory. Hikaru's breaths echoed in his ears. He took in the way Magnus' shoulders tensed, the way his arms attempted to reach for him, but afraid that a even a little movement would send them hurtling down the cliff.
His fingers clenched hard.
"Hikaru, what are you doing?" Magnus demanded, voice laden in fear.
"Magnus...if I-" A small sob escaped from him, betraying his panic. "I go, you'll fall to the other side. It's the only way."
"No!" Magnus reached forward, desperately, but stopped when the car shuddered. "Don't you dare! Hikaru!"
There was a fire in his eyes, buried underneath layers of panic. It was a silent command, Magnus refused to let him go.
"We'll both die here if I don't do this!" Hikaru protested. "We- we can't call for help, and this thing's gonna collapse any second!"
"So be it!" Magnus responded, firm. "I'm not letting you die like this."
"Better me than you," He whispered, voice small and shaky. The playing hall closed in on him, relentless. His body screamed at him to surrender. Perhaps this was the final roll of dice, one that would end in his demise.
And yet Magnus' presence anchored him to the car. The Norwegian's desperate stare wedged a knot in his gut, and he found himself unable to jump. He closed his eyes, the adrenaline coursing through him making him feel dizzy. It's for him. I'm doing this for Magnus. It's the only way out.
And then, a warm hand grabbed his, a beacon amidst the chaos. He opened his eyes.
Magnus was finally successful in reaching him. He gripped his hand tightly, his muscles straining but persistent. "You don't get to decide that alone." He choked out. "Look at me."
Hikaru shook his head, his hand trembling under the younger's vice like grip. A gust of wind whipped around the car, and his eyes turned back to the window. The cliff opened up below him, a dark invitation, making his chest heave.
"Don't look at that, Hikaru." The deep voice pleaded. "Look here. Trust me. Focus on me."
"I-I lost everything because I couldn't get over you." Hikaru sobbed. "I...lost."
Magnus gritted his teeth. "You're not the only one playing this game." He grumbled.
And then, Hikaru turned. He peered into Magnus' desperate face, tears streaking down the Norwegian's eyes. He gripped his hand with equal force, letting the sob escape him.
"You're not the doer of fate here. You don't get to leave me like this."
And then Hikaru spotted it- a glint of blue in the vent. The same peacock feather that had made their car lose balance. Always at a distance, whenever there's a sign. Perhaps it wasn't over just yet. He had the power to stop before the dice rolled again, and the game all but consumed him. But would he be able to?
Maybe he didn't have to beat the game. He just had to withdraw from it. Maybe there was still time to earn his life back.
"We'll get get through this." Magnus continued. "Together."
Hikaru leaned forward, exhaling. "Okay." He whispered.
Magnus' face slackened in deep relief. Hikaru could see the panic slowly dissipate from his face, and something about that caught in his heart. A beat passed, the impending fall weighing on their minds.
"Let's push. Together." Hikaru said, eyes shining in hope. Magnus looked up.
"There's a chance we just fall in if we try to." He reasoned.
"So be it." Hikaru replied, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
Magnus nodded, his arms shaking from exhaustion and fear. Hikaru planted his feet against the dashboard. The sudden burst of hope seemed to hold everything together. The cliff under them was a warning, but Hikaru didn't look there. His eyes were trained on the road.
"You ready?" Magnus asked, voice laden with apprehension.
"Ready." Hikaru replied, bracing himself.
"Three, two, one....push!" Magnus counted, and together, they leaned with everything they had.
Hikaru pressed himself at Magnus' side, guiding all his weight there. The car teerered against the edge, and a screech sounded through the air. The tires threatened to give away at any moment. Yet Hikaru pushed against the door with agonising force. He saw Magnus' arm reached for the doorframe in the darkness.
And then the tire snapped under them.
In a rapid motion, Magnus grabbed Hikaru tightly and threw the door open. Hikaru saw flashes of headlights and jagged rocks before he fell into the dust. He felt the rough concrete under him, and he scrambled to stand.
They made it out.
Hikaru raised himself from the ground, coughing. His vision swam with unshes tears, and he felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around him. Magnus pulled Hikaru in, one arm snaking around his waist and the other cradling his head. Hikaru felt the corner of his shirt moisten.
He hugged back with vigor, letting out a sob of exhaustion. It felt like years of tension was being drained out of him all at once. His feet trembled, and he buried his face in the younger's chest.
“I thought-” Magnus choked, voice breaking. "I thought I'd lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere." Hikaru replied, tightening his grip even more.
The world waited beyond the cliff- tournaments and challenges, victories and losses. But for now, there was only this quiet night, the remnants of adrenaline, and the certainty that he won't be left playing a losing game anymore. He had surrendered the dice before they ended him.
The signs had been right. Perhaps he didn't need to be sent hurtling down a cliff for a reminder to stop playing the game, but Krishna was known for his sense of humor. He was glad it was over, and that he knew it with conviction.
Hikaru exhaled, letting fear seep out of his body. Perhaps holding the hand you trust matters more than the game.