Chapter Text
He threads his hand in her hair to hold her in place while he makes her quiver from the lightest, most chaste brushes of nose and lips and beard to the sensitive skin of her throat, then brings her face close to his. "To me, I know you are a treasure, all unlooked for, unforeseen. All the more valued.”
“As are you." She gasps at his responding tremor, his pleased rumble.[...] "We are diving very deep for a first date,” she whispers, breath ragged, tilting her chin, inviting, inches from his lips[...]“Is that so forward?” She lifts her face, and he explores the edge of her jaw with his nose and soft brushes of his closed lips, his warm breath leaving cool, shivering trails on her skin, his hands like iron bands on her arms. As if she would budge now.
“.......Quite forward."
"Did you blush? Are you blushing now?”
“You’re in my arms, Billa, your mouth a breath away from mine, what do you think?”
Billa moves a hair closer. “I think that you should kiss me."
~~~~
“What if I told you,” he asks, and brushes his nose against hers yet again. “That this is the way my people kiss. That I’ve been kissing you all along.”
“Oh,” she says gently, taken aback. “Well, there’s this other way….”
“I know,” he smiles, his voice dropping, nuzzles her cheek and brushes her lips with the tip of his nose, light and swift. “Intended as a gesture of friendly affection, fond teasing, growing attraction...but I find....I've found, with you...” He has to lean his forehead against hers and breathe a moment. "All of that, plus heightening. Longing."
“That, yes,” she whispers, voice unsteady. “Thorin.”
“Beautiful Billa.” The air between them is heavy, charged, and his breath hitches in anticipation with hers. He shifts his hand until he cradles her cheek, draws her closer, and presses his lips to hers gently, a soft short kiss to her upper lip, and then one slightly deeper, brushing her lower lip with his.
She quivers, a soft moan of longing vibrating against his mouth as she clutches his shoulders. He presses yet deeper, and then deeper again before one last gentle kiss, and he draws away slightly to gauge her reaction.
To his delight, she growls softly and steals a gentle, ardent kiss of her own. “Thorin,” she whispers, a small ache in her voice. Thorin has to close his eyes, wrestling with a wave of desire.
“We are diving deep for a first date,” he echos her words of moments ago.
She wraps her arms around his neck in a brief hug. “I know,” she replies, her voice soft and strong. “I am following my gut instinct with you.” She nuzzles his cheek and his nose, smiling at him, teasing, waking his longing once more. “We may be diving deep, but I feel safe with you. Do you with me?”
Thorin is, truth told, a little stunned and too moved to speak by such a gift. He had hoped she would grow to feel sure of him, to claim safety in his arms, especially after her description her former and would-be suitors, but this... He swallows hard and nods.
“What’s wrong?” Billa asks after a moment, her hands moving to soothe on his shoulders. She cups his face and strokes her thumb over his cheekbone, and he leans into the touch.
“I am aware of the honor of your trust, Billa, and I...I should tell you, I should have told you,” he says, bracing for the possibility if her distancing herself from him after this.
“There is another reason for our lighter way of kissing, Billa. Of taking small steps, so. We give our hearts but once. My people. And the more deeply we touch one another…”
He can nearly feel her intent, intense gaze on his face. “You really made a big gamble when you came to say hello, didn’t you? Your people’s secret...your heart, all for some girl you just heard sing.”
“Well, there were those few days you were scowling,” he says hoarsely.
“Thorin,” she chides with affection.
“I watched you sing yourself from grief and anger to the joy of life again, Billa. I’ve never seen the like. Never heard the like. How could I not want to know more? And,” he says, making another gamble. "I have a theory." He takes her hand and puts it over his heart. "Close your eyes, breathe, and when you feel calm and ready, sing."
"Sing what?"
"Anything."
"Okay," she drawls. "This some sort of trust exercise thing?"
"More of a...testing my gut instinct thing."
She snorts. "Do you need to?" She taps her fingers against his chest and gestures to her own.
"Um," he knows he sounds a bit strangled, and he's clearly fighting to keep his eyes on hers, and not her cleavage.
“Right, um, not much room, I guess. And your hands are quite large.”
Thorin chokes out a laugh. “I was thinking more…well, no, that’s exactly what I was thinking.”
Billa chuckles ruefully and pats his chest. “Well. Um. Rather distracted now.”
Thorin’s voice trembles on the edge of a laugh. “Breathe,” he coaxes. Billa shifts, getting comfortable, and did so, one breath, two…
“You sure you don't need to feel my heartbeat?”
“I think it will be fine. Here,” he settles his hands on her waist. “I think it’s mostly breathing together.”
“Right,” she says softly, and shifts a little, snuggling into his touch, which makes him want to just scoop her up, and instead of breathing with her, kiss her breathless.
“Breathe,” she says even more softly, her voice beginning to drop into a murmur. “Sing anything.”
“Anything. Whatever music rests in your heart, waiting.”
“Such lovely way of saying things.”
“Breathe.”
"Bossy." She strokes his chest gently and resettles her hand. “Breathe.”
Thorin waits, mind drifting into a state of deep relaxation. Her breath takes on the rhythm, the sway of the sea. He breathes with her, content, and when she takes a slightly deeper breath, the familiar preparation to sing, he takes it with her. They breathe out music as one.
Billa stiffens in surprise, but keeps singing, a sweet, wordless tune, one he suspects she is creating on the spot, as she sometimes does, singing in the sunset. He sings with her, twining around her melody, his voice supporting hers. It is effortless, and his heart leaps, warm and joyful and light, he is right, he had been right.
She falters, and slaps at his chest weakly, emotion choking her voice. “What was that…”
“We -”
“No, wait, do it again.” She takes a breath, sings, and the music builds around them, soaring. He matches her in speed and intensity, again, without having to think about it.
“What?” she says, breaking off again, her voice thick with tears. “What is that?”
Thorin blinks his way out of the sense of deep peace he’d fallen into. “That was beautiful, Billa.”
“Well, yes, literally half of it was you and how.”
“We have harmony. Are in harmony.”
“I know, you were...we were in sync, too; you weren’t even a quarter beat behind me. I was making the whole thing up as I went, too.”
“Mmm, I thought so.”
She raises her hand to stroke over his heart again. Her hand is shaking, and he presses it against his chest, trying to soothe. “Thorin, what is this?”
“Something we do...something couples do to see-”
“You said you had a gut instinct.”
“Yes.”
“That we? Would be in harmony?”
“Yes.”
“And this is a thing your people do to see if there’s a possibility….”
“Yes.”
“How are you even real?” she breathes.
“Well, my homeland was sinking, fire and screams and flood, and there was this enormous, beautiful voice asking….”
“Waaaait a minute. Erebor sank ages ago.”
“Yes....?”
“Are you telling me that you’re thousands of years old?” Her voice goes high and breaks slightly.
“This enormous, beautiful voice asking my several-times-great-grandfather and the rest of our people if they would accept a gift…..”
She slumps in his arms. “Oh. Okay. Little overreaction there, sorry. I’m. I’m just. But still, you big romantic thing, how are you even possible?”
“Well...when two merfolk love one another very much….”
Billa laughs. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. Funny. "She presses her hand against her heart. “I’ve never even heard of such a thing. It’s like a fairy tale sort of…. I’ve never. I wouldn't have believed... It was so.” She pulls him into a hug, and he gratefully buries his face in her neck. He can feel a deep tremor in her muscles, and wonders how scared she is. He's had a month to adjust to the possibility of her.
"Little overwhelmed?" he asks.
"Just a touch," she snorts.
"I have a kind of mystical thing with a landwalker." he replied, deliberately sounding stunned. It's not that big a stretch.
"Hey!" she giggles. "You said you weren't magic!"
"Oh, no," he laughs back. "This is not all my fault. It's half your fault." He pauses for a long moment. "Okay, it's a little magic. I wasn't even sure if it would work."
She snickers into his neck and smacks his back with the flat of her hands, and he catches her laughter and they sway, entwined, laughing and gasping until they're both calm.
“I felt so close to you when we sang. "I felt. Golden and...light, in my heart. I still feel-”
A surge of awe and affection tightens his voice, “Me too. I still do.” He hugs her tightly. “Billa, I can’t tell you how I…” A sudden thought slaps him like a cold wave, and his arms go slack in shock. “Billa, I’m not. I don't want to push or... I just wanted to show you…I didn't know it would be so...”
She pulls him back into a tight hug. “Listen, you,” she whispers in his ear. “I’m mostly hobbit, you know, a little human mixed in, and then there’s the family story that The Old Took had himself a selkie or a fae or some sort of mythical creature for a wifae, but the key thing is, I’m mostly hobbit, and hobbits only give their hearts once, too. And I’ve not wanted to give my heart to anyone ever. Oh, I've dated, but..I thought I wouldn’t ever, maybe couldn’t..maybe since my parents were so very happy I was waiting for some sort of perfection found only a few times a century, and the odds it would happen twice in the same family.... I’ve been in your company for less than a day, and even though you watched me from afar without my knowledge for a month, I still feel wonderful and safe and happy here, with you. With you in your arms, touching me, holding me. Singing with me.”
She leans back so that they are face-to-face, then eases back on her heels. “I’ve told you I want to be courted. I’m asking you to kiss me. I’m telling you I trust you. And I’m telling you, that’s not a small thing for me, either.”
“You do not wish to wait until you are sure….”
"We may be in harmony, but not getting married, dear one, or sleeping together, unless this is that big a step for your people.....wait." Billa puts up a hand up, her voice unsteady at last. “You...you said ‘you’ not ‘we.””
Thorin inclines his head, unable to quite say it aloud, and Billa takes a deep breath.
“You want to court and be convinced of my feelings, perhaps see them grow a bit, and give me time to be convinced of yours.”
“Is that not what courtship is? It’s not that I doubt you…”
“It’s that you’re a big romantic idiot?”
“Among other things,” he confesses. Among other things he’s not quite ready to spring on her, lest he finally overwhelm her and frighten her away. And he wants to be chosen for himself, not title or status.
Billa tilts her head as she looks up at him, joy and humor in every line of her body. “Well, you’re right. You are completely right. We need some time, I need time to figure out this whole…” She gestures up and down his body and then her own. “How that, this might work, I mean, I like you very much, but, mer. man.”
She huffs out a little laughing, rattled breath. “When I decided I’d never find anyone in the whole of Arda that felt right, I never expected a big romantic bloke from the sea. With a tail. Plus, I'll probably have a billion questions.”
Thorin gives her an affectionate, laughing hum, then reaches out to stroke her cheek. “And I will answer as fully as I can. Billa, I didn’t mean to dive so deeply this first evening together, truly, or speak so seriously. I meant just to show you a beautiful….”
Billa presses his hand against her cheek, “A beautiful place and a beautiful time, and now, a load of beautiful possibilities. No take backs, no apologies. I am having a wonderful night. An amazing night, in every sense of the word.”
Bowing his head, Thorin murmurs. ”As am I.”
"So. Is it too soon to kiss fully?"
"No. I realized I should tell you this is no trifle for me."
"I understand. We are a harmonizing, trifle-free zone, you and me."
Thorin strokes his hands up and down her arms, unable for the moment to do anything but smile.
Billa leans in, brushes her nose against his, and speaks softly. “Tomorrow, Thorin Oakenshield,” she nuzzles the line of his jaw, and sighs approvingly when he sets his hands around her waist.
“Or the day after,” she nips lightly, and wanting more, he lifts her slightly to give her better access, bring their faces even.
“Oh my, liking the strength thing,” she murmurs, a small quiver in her tone. “Really liking the strength thing.” Thorin kisses her cheek slowly, and is rewarded with a long, gasping tremble. He can’t help but make an approving noise and hold her more tightly.
“Are you cold?”
“Hmm? My back a little, but you’re so lovely and warm.”
Thorin brushes his mouth against her cheekbone and continues upward, toward her brow, while Billa wraps her arms around his neck, and with that dear, sexy, snuggling movement, closes any remaining gap between them. He rests his mouth against her temple, needing a moment to adjust to the feel of her curvy, sweet body pressed so closely. There's a difference between holding her close to talk, and holding her close to touch.
She nudges at him until he lowers his face to hers. “I was talking about something,” Billa says hazily, as she drives him slowly mad by caressing his nose with hers, allowing tiny, fleeting brushes of her lips as she nuzzles one side or the other.
Thorin can no longer remain still and joins the slow dance of soft, glancing touches. Billa’s breath grows ragged and her cloth-bound breasts rub against his chest with each breath. He struggles to answer her. “Tomorrow or the day after?”
“Right,” her breath puffs against his lips. “Tomorrow. Or the day after...” She breaks off, humming with approval as Thorin ducks his head and draws his nose up the long line of her throat to press his mouth to that little place under her jaw that makes her gasp. She gasps in a most satisfying way and he smiles against her skin.
“Come back up here, mister,” she whispers, and takes his face in her hands. He feels her shiver and wraps as much of himself around her as he can, keeping her warm.
“Tomorrow or the day after or the day after that,” she says in the soft strong voice he began to understand was the voice of her being very candid, very resolved, very brave, or all at once. “We will talk about courting and questions and hearts and tails and merfolk,how and music and things and stuff and be all mature and practical, and do some more singing, but now," her voice slows into aching softness. "Right now…...”
Billa brushes her lips across his, so light, back and forth until anticipation has his muscles corded tight, until fire races under his skin, begging to be free.
He tilts his head slightly and the feather brush glance of their lips becomes a glide, then a soft, clinging drag. Billa's lips part beneath his, and Thorin takes her mouth softly as a breeze, as easy as breathing, as right as the ever-rocking embrace of the sea.
She inhales sharply, trembling once more, and with a tiny mewl, melts in his arms. Dimly, he hears himself groan, and moved by her desire, her trust, his hands rush to shift her, cradle her in his arms, one hand low on her back as the other cups the back of her head. He bends her like a supple reed, pressing her into the curve of his body the better to savor her, cherish her, learn how to love her.
Such rich kisses and the curl of her tongue under his, and nearly lightheaded, he breaks the kiss to nuzzle her cheek, to press tender, soft bites down her throat, and take a needed, calming breath. His heart is nearly half hers already, and she is so, oh she is so.....Billa arches her back and hums low, a soft sweet song just for him.
When he raises his head, she tilts her chin, and offering her mouth, whispers his name. Thorin brushes his mouth against hers, takes a deep breath and answers her song, diving deep.