Chapter Text
Hiromi was having a pretty good day. Not the best of days. He spilled a watering can on his shirt and had to work through his lunch break, but Oka had brought him lunch and a dry shirt and a kiss so really everything turned out ok.
Plus he was meeting the kids at Sia la Luce for dinner so that was always nice. Even though he was pretty sure they only invited him so he could drive them home.
They were already sitting at a table by the time he got there. All huddled around something Reki's phone. Kids these days and their technology.
Fuck was he getting old?
They were so enraptured in their conversation, they didn't hear him approach. Hiromi cleared his throat and Reki jumped sideways falling into Langa. "Ahh Shadow!" he yelped. "You scared me. Wear a bell or something."
"Hah, coward," Miya laughed, even though Hiromi had seen him flinch too.
He considered calling Miya out on it, but he decided he valued the safety of his shins as he slid into the booth beside Miya. "What were you guys talking about before I got here?"
"Oh we were talking about all the skaters at S," Reki said, using Langa's side to prop himself back up into a sitting position. Hiromi noticed he didn't scoot away though. "We were ranking them based on their hotness level."
Of all the things Hiromi had expected them to say, that was not on the list. "What?" he asked, immediately followed by, "Where am I on the list?"
The kids conspicuously glanced at each other and Miya set the phone face down on the table.
"Oh come on," Hiromi said. "I'm hot. Just look at me." He gestured to his body, which he was pretty proud of actually. He'd been going to the gym with Joe every week and it finally starting to pay off.
"Eh," Miya said.
"You're not really my type," Reki shrugged
"I'm not into clowns," Langa admitted.
"You guys are the worst." Hiromi sunk lower into his seat and crossed his arms. "It's not clown makeup it's punk makeup and plenty of people think it's hot."
"And I'm sure Oka thinks it's very pretty," Miya said.
Hiromi continued to pout. This was just bullying at this point. The kids were just making fun of him. "Let me see the list then. Who are you calling hot?"
"Joe, obviously," Reki said. "He's top five for sure."
"Top five?" Hiromi asked. He found that hard to believe. Joe was one of the hottest men he had ever seen. "Not number one?"
"Well you've also got Cherry Blossom," Langa pointed out. "Objectively very attractive."
"He's hard to rule out." Miya nodded. "I mean have you seen him?"
"And he was just as hot as a teen too," Reki added. "I mean damn have you seen his old year book picture? Now that is hot punk makeup."
Admittedly, Hiromi couldn't argue with that. Cherry had a face that somehow managed to be pretty and hot at the same time. It really wasn't fair. Especially considering he was also smart and good at skating. He'd be the perfect partner if he only wasn't so mean.
"You will never believe who Langa tried to put on the list though," Miya said, leaning into Hiromi in a mock whisper. "And not just on the list, at the top of the list."
"Wait who'd you put?" He was intrigued by Miya's lead up and he couldn't think of any other skaters that he would put above Joe or Cherry when it came to attractiveness level. Langa's face flushed red and he didn't answer. Hiromi turned to Miya. "Who'd he put?"
"Adam!" Miya shouted, earning several weird looks from customers around the restaurant. "Sorry," he yelled, then lowered his voice. "He put Adam on the list, you know the man that put Cherry in the hospital and tried to do the same to him and Reki."
Hiromi gasped and clutched his pearls like an old Victorian lady from that English show Oka had made him watch. "Langa!"
Langa shrugged sheepishly, looking embarrassed but not nearly embarrassed enough. "Reki agreed with me."
"Reki!" Hiromi shouted. "He grabbed your shirt and used it to drag you against the mountain wall!"
Reki's face was as red as he had ever seen, but the teenager didn't back down. "And it was kind of hot."
"Freak," Miya coughed, then yelped when Reki kicked him under the table.
"Joe!" Langa yelled across the restaurant as Joe emerged from the kitchen holding sodas for the kids. "You think Adam is hot right?"
It was a testament to how often they were at Sia la Luce and asking completely insane questions that Joe barely faltered. "Like Adam from S Adam? Yeah he's hot."
"Told you," Reki said.
"I knew he'd agree," Langa added.
"Joe." Miya shook his head. "I'm disappointed in you."
Joe shrugged as he set the drinks down. "What? You want me to lie? Objectively, he's a physically attractive man."
Miya didn't look impressed. "I'm going to tell Cherry."
Joe laughed. "He'll agree with me. Are you forgetting Cherry dated him?"
"Wait!" Hiromi slammed his hands on the table. "Cherry Blossom dated Adam?"
Reki stared at him. "You didn't know that?"
"NO!" Hiromi said. "How was I supposed to know that?" Nobody ever told him anything.
"They dated in high school," Joe said, his tone had sobered and he looked like he regretted bringing it up. "It didn't end well."
Hiromi was desperately curious, but he could tell now wasn't the time to bring it up. Instead he decided to steer the conversation back to where they started. "So who do you think is the hottest skater at S, Joe?"
"The absolute hottest skater at S?" Joe paused for dramatic effect. "Me obviously."
The table erupted into jeers and boos. "You can't pick yourself."
"Why not," Joe asked, flexing his muscles against his too tight chef's uniform. "Clearly I've got the body for it."
"Because that's booooooring," Reki whined.
"And a cop out," Miya added. "Make a decision you coward."
"Alright." Joe slipped his hands into his pockets. "Who else are we talking about? Who are the other options?"
"Like we said, Adam," Langa offered.
"Already established, smoking hot. Although his bitchy attitude and overwhelming stench of desperation and loneliness moves him down on this list for me."
"Cherry Blossom," Reki said. "Obviously."
"Ew." Joe gagged.
"Ok. Not the answer I was expecting."
"I'd rather die than put that pink haired bastard on the top of the list."
"What about Snake?" Miya asked.
"Sexy, but not my type."
The kids glanced at each other. "Was here any one else we were talking about?"
"I feel like that was about it," Langa said.
Hiromi knew they were doing it to get a rise out of him, but couldn't stop himself. "Me! You're forgetting about me!"
"Oh yeah." Miya shrugged. "Shadow I guess."
"Hey!"
"Eh." Joe shrugged. "I'm not in to clowns."
"HEY!"
"You know who is really hot?" Joe said, completely ignoring Hiromi. "Harry."
This was just disrespectful at this point. Joe obviously. Cherry he could understand. Snake ok. Even Adam he could see a little, some people were freaky like that. But Harry? Harry was just too far.
"Harry! Fucking Harry! He only gets like two minutes of screen time. He was only in Adam's tournament because Reki was being a little whiny bitch. And you're putting HIM above ME?"
The kids were all doubled over cackling. Joe himself looked like he was trying to bite back a smile as he shrugged. "The flesh wants what the flesh wants."
"Ew." Langa gagged. "Didn't like that."
"Yeah that was kind of like a small dose of walking in on my parents having sex," Reki added. "Never say that again."
"It was a joke," Joe stressed. "Y'all were the ones who brought how attractive people were. I was just playing along."
"Yeah and now the jokes done. You ruined it," Miya said. "Who wants to go skate?"