Chapter Text
Ashadowspath: hi maria!! How are youuuu!!
Mariasstars: im good, shadow!!! What about you!!
Ashadowspath: I'm a little behind on rent! So I've decided I might start streaming.
Mariasstars: ooo!! That's cool!! I bet you'll be famous in no time!!
Ashadowspath: as do i!!!
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He stares at himself in the mirror, the scars that litter his body don't seem to fade, his disordered eating habits are obvious with how little muscle he has.
Reaching into his desk drawer he pulls out a wig, makeup and a matching shirt and skirt.its too much effort to even unscrew the lid of the concealer but he better make a good first impression..
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The web camera turns on
“Hello cuties!!”
The comments roll in
-OMG a new streamer!!
-god your so fucking cute!
“I'm an Internet angel! But you can just call me angel for short..”
-got it!
“A promise of future and peace!! I'm a little manic and moody but that's alright!!” he feels himself grin wider
“The internet angel has descended!!”
-go get therapy first.
-thank you for gracing us!!
-get out of here.
“Im here to love and heal all you nerds out there on the internet..”
“Go big or go home!! So I'm going to shoot for one million subscribers!!”
“Let's see what you guys thought..”
He begins to scroll up through the comments a few appealing his introduction
“Hm… “thank you for gracing us.” your welcome cutie!! And… .. “get out of here.” you get out of here. Nobody likes haters. Anyway! 🙏BLESS🙏” and with that shadow shuts off his webcam, cracking his fingers against the table with a sigh.
Ashadowspath: maria!! Did you watch the stream??
Mariasstars: yesss!!! You did so well!! You're going to hit your goal in no time!!
Ashadowspath: you really think so..?
Mariasstars: yes! I do, now get some rest..
Ashadowapath: I will. I love you maria and im so happy your back and your staying, right?
Mariasstars: of course! I would never leave you, shadow..
Ashadowspath: goodnight
Mariasstars: goodnight.
──── ୨୧ ────
Shadow awakes with a groan, his joints hurt so bad.. Looking down at the mess of pills on the floor, a mix of litter and drugs. He stares up at the ceiling, is it even worth getting out of bed anymore… maybe he should just starve away lying in his own misery. He hears his phone buzz,
Mariasstars: hey there sleepyhead! It's noon already!! Where have you been?
Ashadowspath: Sorry Maria.. I must've slept in…
Mariasstars: It's okay!!! Just focus on your goal, have you had food yet?
It would feel wrong to lie to Maria… but…
Ashadowspath: no i havent eaten yet but i dont exactly feel hungry.. I think I'll get ready and start streaming..
Mariasstars: Sure! Just get some food after!!
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His web camera turns on
“Hey cuties!! It's the internet angel, terios!!!
I love the internet since all you lovely people are willing to listen to me!”
He glances down at the comments
-LMAO just another attention whore
-i love you
-the real internet angel..
“....my biggest fear is abandonment… I can't imagine living a life not being needed by anyone.. Huh- uh! Haha!! I love that you guys are willing to hear me out. I'll keep working my hardest for you all..! Because it's all over if you get bored of me… and i dont want to die yet so.. Let's gooo!!”
-your super cute
-nobody cares about me either
-she said she loves me!
-please dont die
-our real saviour!
“It's time to read some comments!! “You're super cute!!” Thank you!! Come tell me that everyday!! <3 and “please don't die” people… die! Whether I live or die is up to my fans! Anyway.. 🙏BLESS🙏”
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Mariasstars: I added some money to your card!! You could go to that cafe you like!!
Ashadowspath: are you sure? … If so thank you Maria!!
Mariasstars: yesss!!! I'm sure!! Go treat yourself, lovely!!
──── ୨୧ ────
Should he even leave the house? The cold would hurt his joints.. They already ache so bad. Whatever, he would feel bad failing Maria… again.
──── ୨୧ ────
The cafes only just down the road… It's a 15 minute walk! It makes him nervous, he hasn't left the house in a few months plus rouge would just drop off all his food and medication. So what would be the point of even leaving. But anything for maria he guesses
Calmly slipping his air shoes and hovering over to the front door, letting the fresh air hit his face. One step at a time, he slowly makes his way to the cafe
CRASH
“...s-shadow??????” he hears an all too familiar voice say
“Sonic.” he retaliates, voice no longer simple and feminine but a cold tone.
Looking up, he sees the blue blur staring down at him empathetically. It makes him feel pathetic.
“I thought you were dead!” the look still doesn't stop. It makes him feel weaker than before.
“Well I'm not.” Is he? Is this a dream? He could be dead and he wouldn't even know.. Maria's alive, he knows she is. He's talked to her! So this is real, he can feel stuff… he feels the box cutter dig into his skin as he cries about how pathetic his life must be!
“...where are you going?” sonic asks. Reaching to help him up.
“The cafe down the street. I don't see why you need any of this information.” Normally he wouldn't have accepted the offer, but due to how stiff his joints feel and the fact he might be concussed he takes the hand.
“Do you need me to walk you? You took a pretty bad fall.. How about tails checks you out! He's better than ever currently.” he offers, both the hybrid and the blur understand the first request wasn't a request at all but more so an insistence.
“I should be fine. I am the ultimate life form more so.” is he really? He's so weak and pathetic, fully dependent on Maria to even keep him both alive and sane.
“Yeah whatever you say..”
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The cafe is warm and cozy, they both take a seat next to the fire, shadow hasn't directly said it but he's clearly in pain, and it's also the middle of winter so sonic thinks sitting there would help.
“So… why haven't you reached out to us?” sonic breaks the ice, studying shadow
“I didn't want to. I've been fine by myself.” a short, boring, simple pathetic answer.
“Are you sure? We totally would've helped you!” Sonic seems so sure, they both know he's not exactly but… its attention, good or bad shadow, craves it. Every message back and forth from Maria makes him giddy, every time a fan comments on his streams he feels so happy, a fresh start to a pathetic lifeform like shadow.
“Are you okay?” he feels a tap on his shoulder, the concerned look on sonics face makes him feel stupid
“Fine.” lame ass response he thinks to himself.
“...where have you been?”
“Oh.. uhm.. I've just been at home.. really …”
“...you have a house? Since when?!” Shadow doesn't want to look at sonic any more. Sure sonic normally sounds snarky but if that was supposed to be rude and mock him? Oh shadow would just kill himself on the spot..
“...rouge.. She doesn't really live there anymore… So I do what I want with it..”
“Hm. makes sense! Lots of people were asking what had happened …” sonics looking at him with sad eyes, maybe he's judging him? Shadow couldn't care less anyway.
“...i cant remember.” … such a pathetic answer, he wants to just die already.
“...okay… well… if you ever need me! Here's my number.” sonic hands shadow a slip of paper with his number on it and turn to leave.
Weak.
The barista comes to take his order, shadow politely orders a croissant and a hot chocolate. His favourite is coffee.. He knows that.. Why didn't he order that? Maybe today's just weird… his head hurts.. Food makes him want to throw up. Goddddd he wishes sonic would've stayed a little longer…. His body hurts. Why won't the pain stop?
Pathetic.
After finishing his food, Shadow walks back to his apartment block. It's about 4pm currently but he'd rather sleep than do anything in the world right now. Unlocking his door and taking off his shoes, not even bothering to say goodnight to maria or remove the pills and drugs on the floor. Does shadow really care if he wakes up in the morning? No. Why should he, he's just a waste of space.. A pathetic creature undeserving of everything. He reaches and hand between his inner thighs, slowly rubbing at his clit before his vision begins to fade..