Chapter Text
They make it to Honor's house a little after five. Honor, Josh, and their son only live about an hour north of Hartford, which gave them plenty of time to hang out in Stars Hollow that morning. They had brunch at the inn (Sookie going above and beyond as usual), and Lorelai had given Logan the official tour around the place, complete with giving them the details on the expansion plans. It had been a lovely afternoon, they'd walked hand in hand around the grounds, Rory telling him all kinds of stories and Logan listening avidly, they'd spent plenty of time just talking in the library, and of course gorged themselves on Sookie's creations. It had all been very cozy, a nice slow paced way to start their day, and probably a pretty big contrast to what their evening will be like. By the time they get to Honor's after stopping to grab a bottle of wine, the sun is starting to fade and a chill is settling in for the night, and most likely the rest of the season.
Logan has the wine in one hand and Rory's hand in the other as they walk to the impressive front door. "You ready for this?" he asks her.
Rory rolls her eyes. "Quit being a drama queen. She's your sister, I can handle this. I think the question is, can you?"
"She's gonna ask questions," Logan whines petulantly.
Rory fights back a grin and tugs him forward. "My entire town thoroughly grilled you yesterday, she's just one person, and she loves you, nothing she does will be nearly as bad as having everyone I grew up with whispering behind our backs."
"Fine," Logan sighs.
She just shakes her head at him in amusement. Being an only child she supposes she can't really understand what it's like to have to deal with a sibling inquisition, but her mother is Lorelai Gilmore, so she's pretty sure she at least has something to compare it to. She also knows that Logan is glad to see his sister, no matter how much he likes to act like she drives him insane, although to be fair sometimes it's not totally an act.
Logan knocks once on the door to announce their presence before letting them in. Honor's home is large and opulent, pretty much exactly what Rory's come to expect from people in this life. It's all dark woods and pricey décor that's meant to be admired but not touched. But as Logan tugs her deeper into the house she can see a bit of life start to peek through, the candid family photos on the walls, a couple kid's toys lying about, magazines strewn across tables, it makes it feel more like a home and less like a museum.
"Hey Honor!" Logan calls as they make it into the living room, he places the wine on the coffee table and wraps his now free hand around Rory's shoulder.
"Logan! You're early!" she hears Honor admonish from somewhere upstairs, and then a moment later Honor is making her way into the room. Logan let's go of Rory so Honor can hug him tightly for a moment before she sets her sights on Rory.
"Rory! It's so good to see you again," she says warmly before hugging her too. Honor's barely changed at all since the last time Rory saw her years ago, she's still as blonde and put together as always.
Rory returns the hug easily. Honor was always kind to her, and while she'd inadvertently been the bearer of bad news on occasion, she'd always been an enthusiastic advocate of her and Logan's relationship. "It's good to see you, too," she tells her.
Honor pulls away and looks around the room for a second before frowning. "Josh must be in his study, I'm going to go grab him and then we can have drinks and talk," she informs them before skittering off.
"So far so good," Rory says to Logan and nudges him in the side playfully.
Logan grins crookedly at her before reaching for her hand and pulling them both down onto the expensive sofa. She lands ungracefully on top of him with an "oomph" before wiggling into a more acceptable position.
Honor and Josh join them a moment later, the latter exchanging a handshake with Logan and a friendly greeting with Rory. From what she's gathered from Logan, Josh still isn't much of a conversationalist, Logan's not sure if the guy really has much of his own personality. Rory's not really sure if Honor leaves him a lot of room to develop one, Honor's great, but she can be a lot, but she supposes that their personalities might just balance each other out.
"Where's Eli?" Logan asks once they're all seated with a glass of wine in hand.
"He's having dinner at a friend's tonight," Honor says.
Logan frowns. "I wanted Rory to meet him." Rory was aware of this, Logan absolutely adores in nephew and had mentioned more than once yesterday how much he thought Eli would have loved the festival.
Honor grins at him and takes a sip of her wine. "As much as I love my son, he's terrible at keeping secrets. The next time our parents see him he would tell them immediately about your new relationship, and I thought that was something you two were trying to avoid for the time being."
Logan sighs in resignation and Rory rests her hand on top of his. "Fair enough. He is a really terrible liar."
"I bet that's a trait you're hoping he'll carry into his teenage years," Rory comments.
Honor and Josh laugh at that and Josh nods. "Here's hoping."
The four of them talk for awhile while the scent of their dinner begins to waft through the house, Honor asks her about her job and she talks about some of her past work and soon their maid is informing them all that dinner's ready.
They sit in their large formal dining room with a table large enough to seat twelve, but it still manages to feel casual as they dig into their meals. Conversation stays fairly light for awhile but once they hit a lull Honor takes that ask her cue to start the interrogation.
"So Rory, how's my brother been treating you?" she asks.
Next to Rory, Logan groans.
"Hush, Logan, it's just a question," Honor says as she stares him down. "Is he driving you crazy yet?" she directs at Rory.
Rory laughs a little and shakes her head. "No, not just yet. He's been great actually," she says honestly and chances a glance at Logan who smiles softly at her before leaning in to place a light kiss on her lips. Across the table Honor coos at them.
"I'm so glad you two are back together. Honestly, I mean you two were always so great together, minus the times that someone was being a complete ass," she says with a pointed look at her brother.
"Honor," Logan warns with a stern look.
Honor huffs at him and Josh silently refills wine glasses, Rory appreciates that.
"It's just a fact, Logan," Honor says, not unkindly. "Anyway, Rory, you and I must get together sometime to talk, I've heard Logan's side of everything but men are always so stingy with the details. We should do lunch sometime."
She's not surprised at the suggestion, Honor had always had a habit of saying that they should get together to go shop or grab lunch, but she'd also had the habit of being a bit flighty and nothing ever came to fruition. She nods anyway. "Sounds great."
"Fantastic," Honor says with a large grin. "I'll call you and we can work out the details."
After that Logan attempts to coax Josh into a conversation, probably hoping to avoid his sister trying to pry any more details out of either of them. It doesn't work for long.
"So tell us about the festival yesterday," Honor says once their plates are almost empty.
This is a topic Logan obviously doesn't mind, because he easily delves into the details with an enthusiasm that has Rory hiding a grin. Rory adds in a few things here and there but is mostly content to relax and let Logan regale them with stories of her home town.
"It sounds like you two really enjoyed yourselves, from what I remember Stars Hollow was absolutely adorable," Honor comments and then seems to freeze as she realizes her mistake.
With Logan's hand resting on the nape of her neck he doesn't miss the way she tenses slightly at his sister's slip up.
"When were you ever in Stars Hollow?" Logan asks with unhidden suspicion.
Honor shares a brief apologetic look with Rory before confessing to a secret that she's been keeping from her brother for seven years. "After you and Rory broke up I went to see her," she says, feigning nonchalance and ignoring Logan's darkening look. "I found her at her going away party, I just wanted to see how she was doing, Logan. I mean you dumped her on her graduation day, and I know that you were upset, and I felt for you, I really did, but I cared about Rory too. So I went to make sure that she was okay."
It had been a shock when Honor's town car had pulled up at their makeshift tent and she stepped out in her designer heels. Rory had been socializing with someone when she'd caught sight of Honor skirting her way through the crowd. The two of them had found a secluded corner to talk; she didn't know what kind of reaction to expect from Honor, if she was there to chew her out for breaking her brother's heart, but she hadn't been expecting the blonde to wrap her up in a tight hug and ask her how she was doing. It had been a bittersweet moment for sure.
"That wasn't your place, Honor," Logan says quietly.
Honor glares at him. "I'm not going to apologize."
"Of course not," Logan scoffs.
Rory feels like a spectator as the siblings sit there and duke it out. Logan seems annoyed but also maybe a bit guilty? She'll have to talk about this with him later without the pressure of other people listening in.
The tension doesn't lessen as they sit there at an impasse, until Josh suggests they bring out dessert. The man may not say much but he does the job just fine.
They discuss lighter topics until the tension bleeds out naturally, and possibly with the help of more wine; though Rory notices that Honor doesn't partake this time around, she suspects that alcohol was the cause of her slip up in the first place. It's not that Rory was intentionally keeping Honor's visit a secret; it just hadn't seemed that it was something Logan needed to know, some things are best kept just between girl friends, but now that it's out there's a different event that's niggling at the back of her mind, something that she's not sure if she really wants to tell Logan or not, though she's pretty sure Honor would vote no. But in the interest of their honestly policy it doesn't sit right with her to keep things from him, more than anything she just wants them to be able to speak freely with each other this time around, secrets are only going to weaken them eventually.
When Logan and Josh excuse themselves to Josh's study to look at something Rory uses the opportunity to breach the subject with Honor, only she beats her to the punch.
"I'm so sorry about that whole thing," Honor says.
Rory waves her off. "Don't worry about it, it's probably best that he knows anyway. But speaking of, in the interest of this whole honesty thing, I think I need to tell him about the other thing," Rory says.
Judging by the look of understanding mixed with uncertainty on Honor's face she understands perfectly well what 'thing' Rory is talking about. "He's going to be furious with me," Honor sighs and sinks further back into her chair, she looks like she could use a cigarette.
Rory can't argue with that because truthfully she's probably right, Logan won't be terribly thrilled with his sister, but he'll get over it.
"But I get it, just do me a favor and don't tell him until you're back in the city. I'd rather not be in the blast radius when he finds out. The angry phone call I'm going to get from him will be more than enough."
"I'm sure it won't be that bad," Rory says in an attempt to placate her. "You were just trying to help."
Honor laughs, it sounds a bit self-deprecating. "I was meddling."
"With honest intentions."
The boys join them again before Honor can say anything and Logan takes the seat on the couch right next to Rory.
"What are you two talking about?" he asks as he stretches an arm out on the back of the couch behind her head.
"None of your business, mister," Rory tells him, despite the fact that she's about to make it his business. From her spot on the armchair Honor shares a grin with Rory that has Logan glancing between the two of them suspiciously.
They head out shortly after, it's getting fairly late and they still have to drive back into the city, not to mention that they both have work in the morning. With the two of them taking separate cars due to the fact that they drove into the Stars Hollow on different days, she doesn't have the opportunity to talk to him on the drive home and the two exchange their goodbyes in Honor's driveway.
"Are you mad at her?" Rory asks him as he leans against her car.
Logan shrugs and sighs a little bit, his shoulders falling with it. "Not completely? I was at first, but I can kind of get it, she was in a tough spot. And it's not like I can't fault her for wanting to make sure you were okay."
Rory smiles softly at him and secretly hopes that he holds on to that mentality when she gets a chance to talk to him about other things. Though she supposes that they have time for at least one question.
She opens her mouth to ask about that guilty look on his face earlier before closing it, trying to find a way to word it.
"Something on your mind?" Logan asks anyway.
She sighs, she might as well ask now. "Earlier, when she was talking about coming to see me, you had this look on your face. Like you felt guilty or something?"
Logan glances up at the night sky for a moment before looking back at her and nodding. "As much as it pains me to admit it, she was right. I was an ass to you when we were together, especially on your graduation day."
"Logan," she breathes and steps forward to reach for him but he shakes his head at her.
"The only thing that should have been on your mind that day was celebrating, but instead I acted like a total jerk to you."
The air feels heavy around them and she wraps her arms around herself. She doesn't disagree with what he's saying; it had been a devastating event on what was supposed to be a happy occasion, but they've discussed this already. "Logan, I already told you that I forgive you for that. And to be fair, I'm the one that decided to give you back the ring on my graduation day."
"Yeah, but-"
She cuts him. "No, no buts. The past is in the past, it happened and we can't change it. There's no sense in wallowing over past mistakes now. You don't need to keep beating yourself up over it, honestly I'd really prefer it if you didn't."
He's quiet for a moment before nodding and giving her a small smile. "I'll do my best."
"That's all I ask," she says with a smile of her own. "And for the record, you were not an ass when we were together," she adds firmly.
Logan gives her a flat, disbelieving look.
"Okay, ninety-five percent of the time you were totally un-ass like," she acquiesces.
He laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that makes warmth shoot through her despite the chill. "I'm gonna work on that other five percent," he promises, his eyes intense as they lock on to hers.
Nearby an owl hoots, startling her and effectively cutting into their moment and she sighs.
"We should get going," she suggests, glancing up at the almost full moon that's half hidden behind the trees.
Logan groans. "I suppose," he looks at his car with distaste and she understands completely. The idea of driving back to the city is incredibly unappealing.
She moves over to him and wraps her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest, his arms seem to automatically wind themselves around her in return. "This weekend was amazing," she says quietly, like she's sharing a secret.
She can feel Logan nodding his head in agreement. His hand gently cups her jaw and coaxes her to look at him before he ducks in for a kiss that she can feel in her toes. His fingers are warm on her cheeks and she clutches at his shirt, trying to pull him impossibly closer. Their weekend away had been just what she needed with him; she feels like it helped propel their relationship in a way that sporadic dinners and phone calls could never dream of, and she quietly hopes that they can do it again sometime soon.
"It was perfect," he replies earnestly before kissing her again. When he pulls away he tucks a strand of her hair back from her face and his thumb traces patterns on her cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow," he promises before stepping away to open Rory's car door.
She steals one last kiss before sliding in.
+
She doesn't get a chance to talk to him until Wednesday night when Logan invites her over to his place for dinner. Logan's apartment is gorgeous. It's an older building, but it had been remodeled within the last decade, holding on to that industrial loft vibe, just with a few modern touches. The décor reminds her of the apartment they shared back at Yale, a little less juvenile but still very him. Logan had the kitchen renovated when he moved in, and while Rory may not have any interest in cooking, she can definitely appreciate it. However, tonight they'd decided to forego any actual cooking and just order takeout from their favorite Thai place, nothing fancy but it suits her just fine.
They get comfortable on the couch and Logan sets up a movie while Rory organizes the food on the coffee table. For awhile they just eat in companionable silence while watching the movie and occasionally talking about their week, but after awhile Logan pauses the movie and turns to face her. Rory with a mouth full of spicy noodles, makes a small questioning noise at the act.
"Are we okay?" Logan asks suddenly, his eyes darting across her face like he's searching for the answer.
Rory quickly swallows, eyes widening at the question. "What?"
"You've just been quiet these past few days, like there's something on your mind. If I did something wrong I need you to tell me, Ace," he says, and she can hear the quiet undercurrent of vulnerability in his voice.
She shakes her head vigorously and sets aside her plate so that she can grab onto his hand as she hastens to reassure him. "Logan, no, you didn't do anything. We're totally fine, I promise," she says sincerely.
"Okay," he says slowly but he doesn’t sound relieved just yet. "Then what's going on?"
In truth it's probably the best opening she's going to get but she feels uncertain. She's been teetering back and forth between telling him and just letting the whole thing lie, but it's time to suck it up and discuss things like actual adults.
"There's something I haven't told you," she starts. "It's kind of related to what Honor told you about the other night, when she came to see me."
"What did she do?" Logan sighs.
She releases her hold on his hand and brushes her fingers over her hair as she collects her thoughts. "About five months after we broke up, Honor called me. She told me that you weren't doing well and she was really worried about you. She didn't go into any details, but she asked me if I would try to talk to you, she thought I would be able to help."
Logan's face hardens and his jaw clenches but he doesn't say anything. Moments go by in tense silence before he finally speaks. "She shouldn't have put you in that position."
Rory shrugs. "She's your sister, she just wanted to help."
"What did you say to her?" he asks quietly.
Rory gnaws at her bottom lip for a minute before answering. "I didn't really say anything. She didn't try to pressure me into talking to you or anything, I just said I needed to think. And I did, a lot." That gets a little huff of a laugh from Logan but it's hollow. "I thought about calling you, or writing you, that one seemed like the easiest option. At one point I thought about just buying a plane ticket and going to you." Out of the corner of her eye she sees Logan look up at that but she keeps her gaze on the coffee table. "But I couldn't make myself do any of it, I wasn't ready to face you," she admits. She'd felt so incredibly guilty every time she'd sat down in front of a blank screen or piece of paper, every time she'd come across his number in her phone, but she'd been hurting so bad and deep down she knew if she opened up a line of communication with him she'd throw away everything just to see him again, and her work was too important to just blow it off for something that wasn't even guaranteed.
"Rory, I'm sorry," he says and his tone makes her look at him. The look on his face can only be called defeated.
"It's okay," she attempts to soothe but he shakes his head at her.
"No, it's not. You should have never been made to feel like you had to choose between yourself and me. You shouldn't have been involved at all, we'd broken up and it wasn't right for Honor to do that to you," he says, his voice going hard. She has a feeling Honor is definitely going to be getting that phone call tonight once she goes home.
In truth, she knows Logan is right, she'd thought the same things back when Honor had called her and she'd been losing sleep over her options. But she'd also been thinking about what Logan would have done had their positions been reversed, and while she couldn't be sure, she'd had the feeling that he would have at least done something. That thought had only made her feel worse, but she'd worked through the guilt eventually, she'd gotten through all the uncertainty and moved on. So there's no reason for Logan to be sitting here now looking like he's been sucker punched.
She twists in her seat until she's facing him and holds both his hands in hers. "Logan, listen to me. Look, it may not have been her finest idea, but her heart was in the right place. It happened so long ago and I'm fine. Yes it was hard and it sucked for awhile, but I never blamed her and you shouldn't either."
The look he gives her is skeptical. "I'm gonna blame her a little," he says after a minute, but there's a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.
Rory laughs quietly and shakes her head before squeezing his hand. "Are we okay?" she echoes his earlier question.
Logan tugs her closer until she's up against his side and he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "We're okay," he promises.
They go back to their food and movie and it's fine but there's a thought niggling at the back of her mind and it's getting increasingly hard to ignore. It's a question she told herself that she wasn't going to ask, she really wasn't, but it's going to drive her crazy if she keeps ignoring it.
"Logan?" she says softly, uncertainty creeping into her voice.
"Yeah?" he asks, shifting around to look at her.
She bites at her lip for a second before deciding to bite the bullet instead. "Honor never really told me, and I didn't ask, but what was going on? I mean it had to have been serious for her to call me, right?"
She remembers getting the call while she was on a bus heading to another destination on the campaign trail. She remembers how stressed and worried Honor had sounded when she told her something was wrong with Logan. And she remembers the way her stomach had filled with dread and the way her heart ached at the sound of his name. But Honor didn't go into the details, and Rory hadn't felt steady enough to ask for them, but she's asking now.
Logan scrubs a hand through his hair and doesn't look at her. "I was," he stops and sighs, taking a moment before starting again. "I was a mess," he says honestly. "I was trying so hard to not think about the break up, about you in general. I was working non-stop, more than I needed to be, and when I wasn't at the office I was out, drinking, partying, whatever I could find to keep my mind off things."
He pauses and Rory swallows thickly. They haven't talked about this, the aftermath of their breakup. They've talked about their jobs, and friends, and life in general, but not the emotions, not the nitty gritty details of what it was really like post breakup. She understands Logan's reaction wholeheartedly. She's said it before, but going straight into her job had been an absolute blessing in more ways than just what it did for her career. Hesitantly she reaches out and places her hand in his, Logan squeezes it gently and holds it between his own.
"I was running myself ragged. Honor was right to be worried," he admits. "But I stand by what I said earlier, what she did was out of line."
Rory nods and rests her head on his shoulder. "I know," she says softly. There's a lingering feeling of guilt swimming around in her and she does her best to shove it away. Logically, she knows she shouldn't feel guilty for putting herself first in a less than ideal situation, but she accepts the fact that knowing that Logan was hurting is always going to feel crappy.
They stay like that for awhile, just resting against each other and letting the conversation wash over them. Things like this will probably come up from time to time now, she assumes. They've got a long and rocky past and there will be other topics that they need to clear up but it's okay, it's a necessary thing for them to go through so that they can grow together and learn from past mistakes. They both knew going into this that these things will happen, and she suspects that it won't always be pleasant, but she's ready for it, she's willing to fight for it, for what they have and these little bumps in the road aren't going to derail her this time around.
When their food is gone she ends up cuddled into his side, head on his chest, her arm across his stomach and his arms curled around her. Despite their earlier conversation, it's practically blissful and she finds her mind wandering rather than focusing on the movie. It doesn't really settle on anything specific; she thinks about moments from their past, things that have just happened, and an endless litany of possibilities and what-ifs that surround their future. Every thought is just a little blip on the radar, gone in a flash, but they leave her with a sense of hopefulness that settles firmly in her chest.
Twisting a little she presses a kiss to the collarbone that's peeking out over his shirt and sighs contentedly before burrowing closer to him. His hand strokes along her back before settling on her hip, the weight warm and reassuring. Logan hasn't said much in awhile, no doubt thinking about what his sister did, but he seems calm now, like he's accepting it. She knows he's not just going to let it lie, Honor will definitely be told off for her actions, but he's not mad and that's an improvement. Best of all it didn't seem to have any negative effects on their relationship, not that she necessarily thought it would, but it was one of the possible outcomes she had planned for. It's possible that being open and honest like this will actually pave the way for future conversations that maybe would have been buried away in the past, at least she's hoping that it will have that sort of outcome.
She moves to leave shortly after the movie is over, because regrettably she has work in the morning and with the exception of her birthday night with the boys, they haven't actually done the whole staying the night thing yet. Though she's really hoping that they're going to work their way up to that, and soon.
"Are you okay?" Rory asks as they stand at the doorway of his apartment across from each other.
Logan nods. "Yeah. I mean I'm feeling vaguely humiliated that my sister called you to tell you what a mess I was, but other than that I'm okay," he says lightly but she hear the edges of truth tucked in there.
For a moment she thinks about telling him about the time she exploded all over the campus therapist about their relationship so he can see what a real mess is, but she can't decide if it would make him feel better or worse so she shelves it for another time. "If you want to be embarrassed about something, be embarrassed about the time you and your boys crashed my lecture and caused a massive scene."
Logan laughs, his face breaking into a wide grin and effectively wiping off the last of the tension that had been clinging to him throughout the evening. "You're still holding on to that?"
"It was humiliating!" she cries.
Logan's grin turns sly as he moves in closer to her, hands casually shoved into his jean pockets. "Oh come on, you can't honestly tell me that you don't find it the least bit amusing."
They're close enough that she can feel the heat radiating off him and it's honestly unfair how good he looks, especially when he smiles like that. It's all she can do really to keep herself from tugging him closer, but she stands her ground. "It was not funny."
The tips of his fingers skim up her arm until they brush across her neck, and it really shouldn't be so sensual but apparently it is. He ducks in closer, lips practically brushing against the shell of her ear when he asks in a low voice, "Not even a tiny bit?" His other hand finds its way under her shirt to rest against the skin of her hip and squeezes just enough.
Which is completely unfair and a majorly dirty tactic, but it doesn't stop the shivers racing down her spine.
"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," she says, but her voice has gone breathy without her permission.
She can feel his grin against the skin of her neck before he leaves soft kisses there.
"What am I doing?" he asks before gently tilting her head the other way to get access to the other side of her neck before continuing his exploration.
Really she should receive an award for holding out as long as she has, she's made an admirable effort but she has needs, okay? She pushes at his chest until he looks up at her and then she's pushing him back to the nearest wall and firmly planting her mouth against his. Logan gets on board quickly, his hands roaming and lips sliding wonderfully against hers. She hardly even notices when he manages to flip their positions so that her back is against the wall, she's too busy trying to get him even closer. He's got her biting back breathy little moans and the only thing on her mind is more.
So when they pull apart for air it's like a shock to her system when reality sinks in. As much as every fiber of her being is urging her to continue, to tug him through his bedroom door and let him do as pleases, the rational part of her that's still functioning is reminding her of her duties. It's already fairly late and she has work early in the morning. Staying over would mean having to get up extra early to make it home in time to get ready, and leaving right after sex doesn't sound appealing, so really she only has one option here.
"I should go," she says, more than a little breathy and definitely disappointed.
Logan looks adorably confused for a second before he seems to understand and he nods. "Right," he says, and she feels a bit smug about the fact that he sounds just as affected as she does.
They exchange their goodbyes, a few more kisses, and make plans to make plans, and once she's in the elevator she takes a second to just breathe. That passion, that undeniable need is something she hasn't felt in ages, something she hadn't even completely realized she was missing. But she'd gotten a taste for it again tonight and it was like rediscovering a favorite food, and now that she's had a sample she wants the whole meal.
Leaning heavily against the elevator wall she lets out a deep breath. This whole taking it slow thing just became a lot harder.