Chapter Text
There was a nervous murmur mixed with the February chill this morning. You brought your hands to your lips, huffing hot air into them to maintain your temperature. Even with the heat, your fingers trembled.
The day was much colder than you had originally anticipated for the later morning hour, the chill of last night’s freeze still present and sending a shiver down your spine. It felt as if your feet were frozen in place as you stood on unfamiliar grounds.
A full week had already passed since taking the entrance exams for Tohoku University. Standing on your dream campus, you and other hopeful students were gathered at the main announcement boards. The typical posters of clubs, events and tutor requests were replaced by large sheets containing tester ID’s of those who were accepted for the upcoming Spring semester.
You rubbed your hands together and pressed them against your chest. Warmth. That was what you needed in this moment.
There was no stopping the anxiety from tickling your bones. Afterall, your future was right in front of you. The results of the past three years were determined if your applicant ID was printed out for display.
Please… Please be there.
All your time, all your sacrifices, all your effort… you wanted so badly to make sure they weren’t wasted.
You took a step forward and then stopped.
Wasted? Would the past three years have been a waste if you weren’t accepted in Tohoku?
It was a question you never considered until this moment. Perhaps you could have studied more if you had quit managing the club during your third year. You knew that you indulged in the boys’ antics more than you would vocally admit, but maybe you should have focused more on yourself and university prep. Life would have been much more different if you did.
Different. The word echoed once more. Was something different what you wanted?
If things were different, you wouldn’t have followed a simple whim; you wouldn’t have spent countless hours in the gymnasium doing arduous chores; you wouldn’t have experienced the bright lights of the national stage; you… wouldn’t have made so many memories that you now hold close to your heart.
And, most of all, if you had chosen a different path, you wouldn’t have met your best friends.
The fear that had paralyzed you before dissipated.
(Even if you didn’t make it the first time around, these past three years weren’t wasted. There were no regrets to be had. And maybe that was the most important thing to remember: enjoying life and having fun is not a sin.)
Squeezing through the crowd of students, you tried to find a spot suitable to view the board up close. You scanned through the numerous tester ID’s and held your breath.
This row should be it. My ID should be in this section…
A rush of emotions deluged you. You could only stare at the printed letters and numbers with bated breath.
Where is it?
The text seemed to blur together. You blinked in succession in an effort to keep calm, but it was difficult not to panic.
Is…that…?
You shut your eyes for a second and took in a deep breath. A moment of clarity. That was what you needed.
Again, you scanned the row, slower this time, and then focused on a single line.
Ah.
There.
That’s it.
It had taken time, but you found it. Right in the middle of the page, in the most unassuming text that seemed to blend together if you stared too long, was your tester ID.
Acceptance.
Tohoku was no longer just a dream, but your reality in the near future.
The weight of expectation lifted off your shoulders. Every step you took afterwards was as light as air. This moment was too surreal.
When you were finally away from the crowd, back in the open space of the campus courtyard, your phone began to ring. You pulled it out of your pocket and checked the caller ID. It was hard not to chuckle when you saw who it was.
Of course he’s the one calling.
You brought the phone up to your face.
“Hello?”
“Helloooooooooooooooo!”
He was loud and, had you not been in a shell shocked state, you would have reprimanded him. Instead, you shook your head and maintained a smile.
“Tendou? Everything okay? Do you need help with something?”
“Hm, not really!” he replied. He was quite chipper. “Just felt like calling!”
“Really?”
“Really.” He hummed on his side. “By the way, did you check on your exam results? How’d ya do?”
“You remembered? I’m surprised,” you joked. “I thought you’d be more excited about that new chapter for Two Piece.”
“Duh! Of course I remember!” Tendou sounded quite offended that you would think otherwise. “Just because a new arc is starting doesn’t mean I’ll forget everything else! Sure, I didn’t notice Taichi’s haircut the other day, but just because that happened doesn’t mean I’m not sharp. Yanno…”
Tendou chatted up a storm on the other line. Again, you bubbled with laughter.
“I did see my results,” you said, interrupting Tendou’s tangent.
“Oh, oh! And? Are you in…?”
You held back from responding for a moment and smiled to yourself. The anticipation was killing Tendou as he hummed an upbeat melody in waiting.
“I’ll be going to Tohoku starting the spring semester.”
A pause. Then, a loud cheer from the other side nearly blew out your ear. It almost sounded like he was right next to you.
“Wooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooooooooooo! ”
You held your phone away from your face for a few seconds to ensure you wouldn’t need a hearing aid for the upcoming school year. Before you got the chance to speak again into the phone, that same voice could be heard from behind.
“Yoo-hooooooo! Guess who! ”
There was no need for guessing as only one person could be so boisterous in public. You pocketed your phone and turned around.
Much to your surprise, it wasn’t only Tendou, but rather all the boys of the Shiratorizawa Volleyball club stood together, everyone wearing clothes suitable for the winter weather. They waved to you, some sending smiles while others cupped their hands in front of their mouths to yell out their congratulations. Never had you been happier to see your friends than now.
“You guys!” you exclaimed. It was hard to hide the elation in your voice. “What’re you all doing here?”
“To celebrate, duh!” Tendou was quick to answer as he jumped to your side and grabbed onto your shoulders. “C’mon, we all knew you were gonna make it!”
The rest of the guys joined in on the conversation as well, everyone wearing smiles for the occasion. Had they planned to meet you afterwards this entire time?
“Yeah, let’s go out to eat to celebrate!” Yamagata grinned as he spoke. “And besides, we owe you for earlier in the year too when you helped us out with covering for yakiniku!”
Semi grimaced. “Oi, why’re you bringing that up? That was your fault.”
“Hey, it could have been avoided if one of us had brought our wallet!”
“What? Why would someone else have to bring their wallet? You were the one who was supposed to be paying!”
Semi and Yamagata continued to bicker, arguing about whose fault it was for the yakiniku incident. As they kept at it, Oohira maintained his maturity and reminded them they were in public.
Instead of scolding them, you laughed into the back of your hand. You were in too good of a mood to let anything bother you today.
“So I’m not paying today?” you teased. “That’s what I’m hearing from you two, right?”
They turned red in the face, causing you and the rest of the guys to chuckle as they mumbled out in agreement.
“Alright,” you nodded as you spoke. An aura of delight seemed to emit off of you. “Since we have something to celebrate, let’s go out to eat together. Did you guys already decide where?”
“We figured sukiyaki would be good since it’s cold outside,” Shirabu answered. From the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Kawanishi perk up. “Ushijima was able to get a reservation from a place nearby campus.”
The thought of sukiyaki made your mouth water. Now was a much more appropriate season to eat it compared to the most recent summer when your friends had come over unexpectedly.
“Sukiyaki sounds great,” you agreed. “Should we get going now? I’ll let you guys lead the–”
“Hold on a second!” Tendou waved his hands in front of your face to direct your attention to him. “Wait a minute! Our little Tsutomu has something to say!”
It was then that you noticed Goshiki had been much quieter than usual as he stood close to Oohira. His hands were behind his back and he fidgeted from side to side.
“I… um… I really…” His words were spoken so softly you found it hard to hear him.
“Huh?”
Goshiki shook his head and shut his eyes. His face was a blaring red.
“I-I… really… C-Congratulations on your acceptance!” He shoved a bouquet of flowers into your hands, a few petals fluttering down from the sudden movement. “W-We knew you could do it!”
You stared at the flowers he had given to you. It was a beautiful arrangement with pink chrysanthemums as the focal point. He must have gone out of his way to find a specialty boutique to make it.
“Goshiki…” You were at a loss for words. The gesture touched your heart to know he thought so highly of you. “Thank you for going out of your way for me.”
A cool breeze blew through the campus and this pushed Goshiki to have the courage to open his eyes and look at your face. He could feel the heat rising once more when he noticed Tendou raise a brow at him from behind you.
C’mon, is that really all you wanna say? We literally rehearsed this like a thousand times! This is the best chance you’ll ever get to ask!
“I, um… I also…!” All attention was on Goshiki as he stuttered. Everything that came out of his mouth was incoherent.
“Goshiki, are you okay…?” you took a step forward and put a hand on his forehead. “Oh my God! You’re burning up! Did you get sick from waiting out in the cold? How long have you been–”
He flinched at your touch. “N-No, I’m fine! I really… I also wanted to say…”
You continued to focus all your attention on him, expectantly waiting for him to finish. There was obvious concern written on your face as you leaned in closer to see if there was any hint of illness.
Goshiki took a deep breath and, with great resolve, looked you in the eyes once more. His fingers twitched and he felt a tickle in his throat that made it hard for him to speak. He parted his lips in an effort to finally confess, but the heartfelt words he had been harboring for so long stuck on his tongue like cement.
He didn’t know why he was hesitating so much right now. Tendou had already coached him plenty of times on how this moment should have played out, but, with you standing in front of him, he completely blanked out.
Perhaps he looked like a fool right now—no, he was sure he looked like one… but you didn’t treat him as such and continued to give him your full attention. Like always.
From day one, you had always been there for him. Always, always, always. Ever since he joined the team, he had always admired the way you looked after everyone; always appreciated the way you took charge and made sure everyone was included; always loved the way you made him feel special.
Special. The word rang in his thoughts once more. You had always made him feel special.
Goshiki took a quick glance at the other students nearby and then at the flowers in your arms.
This was a special moment for you. Your special moment that you had been working tirelessly for.
He didn’t want to be selfish and take it away.
Goshiki’s shoulders relaxed, wholly committed to what he was about to say. He knew that he probably wouldn’t have another opportunity like this, but he decided that didn’t matter. What truly mattered right now was you and your success–nothing else.
“We knew you could do it,” he finally settled on saying. “You’ve… You’ve done so much for us, and I think giving this to you is the least we can do. So… Thank you.” He paused and tilted his head forward in respect. “We’ll really miss you when you’re in Tohoku.”
Everyone was hushed, even Tendou who had originally given an additional push for his junior to be brave kept his lips zipped.
You could tell Goshiki wanted to say something else, but you chose not to pry. As Goshiki raised his head back up, you couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a bit more… mature. Was it because he grew an inch this year? Or maybe it was the fact he wasn’t wearing his school uniform?
You couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Though, what you could tell at this moment was that he was not the same boy from the beginning of the school year.
“Goshiki, you’re making it sound like this is goodbye,” you joked, but your features remained soft. “I mean, I’ll still stop by when my schedule allows me to… As long as you guys are okay with it!”
Goshiki gave a somber smile and nodded. Although the weather was frigid, he always felt warm whenever he looked at you. And right now, that was more than enough for him.
“Yes, please visit us.”
As the one standing closest to Goshiki, Oohira was the first to comfort him. He gave him a pat on the shoulder and smiled with his eyes.
You did the right thing.
Goshiki said nothing else, instead choosing to cast his gaze to the side and nod. The other older boys were quick to jump in to offer their own gestures of support, feeling sympathetic for the youngest in the group.
Closer to where you stood, Kawanishi, spoke up to lighten the mood, “Well, if you stop by, then be sure to tape his fingers.” He held up a hand and wiggled his fingers. “I guess you can tape ours too if you visit.”
You laughed at this, remembering that one conversation you had with him so many months ago on the beach. The other boys seemed to also think this was humorous and added in their own input.
Well, all except one. An ominous aura could be seen projecting out of Shirabu as he narrowed his eyes at Goshiki.
You’ve had an entire year to talk to her and the best you can manage is that? Are you serious? You can’t even talk to a girl and here you are declaring you’ll be a better ace than Ushijima. Don’t talk so much if your actions can’t back it up, kid. You aren’t even half the man Ushijima is, so don’t make yourself out to be all high and mighty. Seriously, your ego knows no bounds! I ought–!
“Alright, that’s enough,” Semi pat Shirabu’s shoulder to get him to stop glaring at the first year. “Man! If looks could kill then you would have sent poor Tsutomu ten feet under already.”
Shirabu didn’t say anything back to Semi. He instead chose to turn his head to the side so that he was no longer looking at Goshiki.
Rude brat! So you think you’re better than me because you got to set to Ushijima for a couple of matches, huh? Hah! I ought to show you some manners before I leave, kid! I’ll make sure you–!
In a similar fashion from a mere minute ago, Oohira put a hand on Semi’s shoulder to bring him back down to earth.
“Alright, I think you should take your own advice…”
Tensions eased as chatter continued within the group. Tendou, the one who had originally called upon everyone’s attention, cleared his throat.
“Sooooooo, should we get going now?” He jumped beside Ushijima and grabbed onto his shoulder. “Let’s have our Miracle Boy Wakatoshi lead the way for us! ‘Sides, he’s the one who knows the directions to the place.”
“W-Wait!” you called out for Tendou to stop. All the other boys also turned and stared, wondering what you had to say.
“Hm? What is it? Did you already have something else planned?” Tendou asked, blinking rather owlishly.
“No, it’s not that… I was…” It was a difficult question to ask, even after knowing your acceptance. The rest of the group seemed to be more intrigued with what was on your mind as you struggled with phrasing.
“I was wondering…” You tilted your head and tried to make sense of the boys’ appearance. It seemed that they had been waiting here on the campus to surprise you. “What if I didn’t make it to Tohoku? Would you guys have gone back home and left me alone?”
“We knew you would make it,” Ushijima answered first. He said it so confidently, not allowing for even the thought of doubt to slip in. “You studied hard. This is only a byproduct.”
Your breath hitched in your throat as you soaked in what he said. The memory of that one night after practice when Tendou wanted to go to the convenience store together popped back into your mind. He had said something very similar.
You held the bouquet closer to your chest and smiled.
It was nice to know they believed in you.
Spring was a season of new beginnings.
Outside of the school’s auditorium, you played with the flower pinned on the lapel of your blazer. The ceremony for graduation had already concluded and most of the third years in the courtyard were congregated in their own groups, showing off their diplomas and having fun in their last moments as high schoolers.
You stared at them and then at the diploma in your hands. It was light. Something about it didn’t feel real. You gripped the canister and let out a small sigh.
These past three years had gone by too fast for your liking. Soon, everyone would go their separate ways. It was a harsh reality, but you couldn’t help but wonder how different things would be after today.
(You would all still be friends, right? It hurt to think of a reality where you all weren’t.)
“Boo!”
You yelped at the sudden whisper in your ear. There was only one person who would do such a thing to you.
“Tendou!” you yelled out while turning around. There stood the perpetrator along with the rest of your friends. They too were also sporting the pinned flowers on their blazers save for your juniors. “Don’t scare me like that!”
He threw his head back and laughed at your attempt to chide him, not really caring. Beside him, the more mature boys of the team gave an apologetic gaze your way.
“C’mon, loosen up!” Tendou started as he shook your shoulders. Your head swung back and forth as he moved you around. “You’re already out and free. Let’s have some fun!”
You slapped his hands away to get him to stop. When he let go, the world stopped spinning and you crossed your arms in front of your chest, diploma sticking out ready to whack him if he tried anything again.
“Don’t mind him,” Semi spoke up, shooting you a grin. “You know he’s in an extra good mood today since he never has to touch a physics textbook again.”
“Or maybe he’s happy that he never has to do service drills as soon as he steps off campus!” Yamagata added.
“Hey, yanno I’m a little sad too!” Tendou butted in, letting out a small “Hmph!” as he turned his head the other way with dramatic flair. “We’re never going to get to play butts up together again!”
You rolled your eyes at the mention of the idiotic game. Standing beside you, Oohira let out a chuckle.
“Well… truth be told, I’m surprised you didn’t cry, Tendou,” he said. “I really thought that you would cry before Goshiki.”
As if on cue, Goshiki sniffled and rubbed his sleeve against his face at the mention of his name. He had started crying as soon as he saw you and the rest of the retired seniors walking up to the stage to get your diplomas.
Tendou blanched and pointed a finger at himself. “Me? Why would’ja think that!”
“You do seem like the type,” Shirabu added, choosing not to elaborate.
Kawanishi nodded. He figured that Tendou would think crying at his graduation ceremony was something the “main character” does in all the manga he reads.
“What’s that mean, Kenjirou?” Tendou squinted his eyes and, much to their dismay, began to interrogate the second years. “You too, Taichi! Don’t act so sly!”
A short game of cat and mouse ensued between Tendou and the second years. Semi, quick to get annoyed, told Tendou to knock it off, but this only caused a new argument to blossom while Oohira acted as mediator. Still teary eyed, Goshiki was being comforted by Yamagata while Shirabu and Kawanish tried their best to keep out of Tendou’s line of sight.
The boys were a complete mess. You chose to take a step back and stood beside Ushijima as he watched from a comfortable distance.
“They’re such a handful,” you said first. He seemed to think the same as he let out a small chuckle.
“Yes, they are.” He paused. “But I don’t mind.”
Neither do I.
You held back on saying your initial thought and instead nodded along. It was nice to be around Ushijima. Whenever chaos ensued with the rest of the group, he was always the one who maintained his composure.
He was a pillar of stability. For his team, his friends, and especially for yourself.
You had always admired that about him.
“Our time together went by faster than I would have liked,” you instead said, not wanting the conversation to end. “It feels like yesterday when I first walked into the main gymnasium… Do you remember that day?”
Ushijima tilted his head slightly upward, reminiscent. “I remember. Tendou said you were going to be our manager, but you didn’t look very sure about it when I first saw you.”
You laughed into the back of your hand. Sometimes it felt like he knew you better than anyone else.
“You’re right. I wasn’t sure. I mean, volleyball wasn’t something that interested me very much at the time.”
“And now?” he asked. “How do you feel about it now?”
All your memories from the past year flashed in your mind. The good, the bad, and everything in-between—they were irreplaceable.
You grinned at him. “It’s exciting.”
A simple answer. Nevertheless, it was easy to tell that Ushijima was pleased with your response. It was subtle, but his face brightened.
“I’m glad you think that.”
There was another comfortable lull in the conversation as you both stood side-by-side. Fortuitously, your knuckles brushed against his, causing a jolt of electricity to course through your body. It was a voltage of courage that was much needed for you to be brave in this moment.
You took a deep breath. It was now or never.
“Ushijima?”
He tore his gaze away from his friends and underclassmen as he turned to face you.
“Hm?”
Eye contact with him made you falter for a second, but you decided to stand up a bit straighter, holding your ground.
“Can I ask you something?”
He could tell what you had to say was important, so he chose not to question it. “Of course.”
“I…I know you’ve been scouted for a handful of teams already, but…” you trailed off, finding it difficult to say the words that have lingered in your heart for some time. “...I wanted to let you know that it doesn’t matter if you end up far away from Sendai, I’ll make sure to come to your games. All of them.”
You paused, clearing your throat in an attempt to quell the butterflies threatening to spill out of your stomach. Ushijima knew you had more to say, so he remained quiet.
(He didn’t mind being patient. When it came to you, he was fine with waiting. After all, that was what he had been doing for quite some time.)
“So… make sure to invite me to every single one, okay?”
(“This is my confession to you.”)
A breeze mingled with the branches of the nearby blossoming trees, allowing for the petals to make their descent. Even with all the commotion of classmates and friends crying out their farewells, the world seemed to shrink–everything and everyone turning insignificant outside of this conversation with Ushijima.
Time slowed as you waited for him to respond. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your ribcage.
(…
…
…)
A genuine smile graced his features. Nothing too overbearing or forced or out of the ordinary–it was a smile that you knew came naturally for him.
“I would like that.”
(“And I gladly accept.”)
Processing his words took only a second. Heat rushed to your face and, as the wind blew once more, you felt as if your body was light enough to be carried away with the rest of the sakura blossoms that littered the pavement.
You were unsure what to even say or do in the moment. Your mind was scrambling to think of something to say–something to do because what was the correct response for this situation?
Unlike you, there was no indication of panic on Ushijima’s side. He was quick to sense your nerves taking over and raised his hand up to you, his pinky pointed out in your direction.
You paused your short-circuiting to stare.
“If I tell you when and where,” he began, his hand still waiting for yours. “I hope you’ll come and watch me.”
His message was simple: there was no need to complicate moments like these. Something as straightforward as a pinky promise still had the weight to mean the world to you.
It was hard to look him in the eyes, but you managed to lightly hook your pinky onto his. The modest touch of skin was enough to make your body heat up like a supernova as you kept your mouth shut, only nodding in response.
(“I promise I will.”)
“Hey, Wakatoshi! [Name]!” Tendou called out, breaking your attention away from Ushijima as you quickly brought your hand back to your side. “What’re you two doing all the way over there? Come join the fun!”
Yamagata waved, beckoning both you and Ushijima to the group. The others were now smiling from the festivities–nobody knew what had just transpired.
You shared a look with Ushijima.
Keep this between us?
He nodded. This silent oath was one you held close to your heart.
“C’mooooooooooon you guys! Quick dilly-dallying!” Tendou yelled out again, this time loud enough so that other students could hear him. “We still got loads of pictures to take together!”
You rolled your eyes at him. He could be quite bossy when he wanted to.
“Just give us a second, Tendou!” you shouted back.
Tendou raised a brow at your attitude. What were you being so prickly about? Did he miss something important between you and Ushijima?
“You two better not be doing something weird!” Again, Tendou was airing out your business so that the rest of the student body could hear. Even though you wouldn’t have to see most of your classmates again after today, that feeling of embarrassment still bubbled with every taunt.
“Tendou!”
He gasped. His guess was (once again) spot on. “Oh~! You two totally were up to something! Don’t leave us hanging!”
You didn’t say anything back and instead chose to menacingly make your way over to him. Even though he loved to provoke you, Tendou wasn’t keen on you beating him up in the courtyard. He swiftly hid behind Oohira as you raised your diploma like a weapon.
“Tendou, quit hiding behind Oohira!”
“Whoa, no need to get so angry! I’m just kidding~!” he cried out. There was a mix of laughter with his words, but he still cowered. “G-Guys, help me!”
Since Oohira was Tendou’s shield, he actively tried to act as a peace envoy. He petitioned that, in the name of friendship, you two make quick amends. Meanwhile, Semi and Yamagata instead chose to ignore their friend’s pleas and brought over Ushijima as they figured Tendou would still want pictures with everyone. Goshiki kept to the side and was of no help as he continued to rub the tears out of his eyes while Shirabu and Kawanishi were stuck trying to console him so that he wouldn’t end up so snotty for the group pictures.
It was complete and utter chaos from the volleyball club.
But, unlike all the other times the boys found themselves in trouble, you were at the very center of it all.
“Alright, alright! Fine! I’ll let you get one good hit in!” Tendou quickly gave up trying to avoid punishment when he saw you weren’t backing down. He crouched just enough so that you had a clear view of the top of his head. “I’ll give you one good shot to do whatever you want…”
You raised your diploma above your head in one smooth motion. All the times Tendou stirred a ruckus in the past three years flashed in your mind like a silent horror movie. He was loud, disruptive, and at points seemingly untamable…
But… at the same time, he was always vibrant. He loved to tease and joke with his friends, and, although he relished toeing on it, he never crossed any lines.
Without Tendou, these past few years wouldn’t have been so fun.
He was the heart of the team.
You chose to restrain yourself, the original anger you held subsided, and instead lightly tapped him. Afterall, you’d never truly hurt him. Friends don’t intentionally hurt each other. Spared from your initial wrath, he instantly stood up straight and grinned.
“Happy now?” he asked.
You smiled back at him. “Very.”
Pleased with your answer, Tendou immediately hopped around Oohira and began to act as boisterous as ever. He sought out a new target (Shirabu) and started riling him up. The rest of the group chuckled and joined in on the merriment.
They were loud and brash and sometimes immature at points–like all teenage boys were–but right now you chose to yield. The teary eyes, the laughter without reservation, the silent observers… you couldn’t help but revel in this instance that could never be imitated.
The wind blew once more and tickled your cheek, pushing you to remember this day. A secret vow, the sweet scent of pollen, and the bonds of friendship that sprouted from a simple whim surrounded you.
You promised to hold them all close for years to come.