Chapter Text
Izuku can feel relief wash over him, he had known he was being risky giving an experience rather than a physical gift. It was selfish of him to want even more time with her alone, and her response was literally the best outcome he could have hoped for.
He had been tense waiting for this moment and it feels so good to relax a little knowing she didn't hate it. It was nice that she chose to go with him even when he offered for her to take the tickets and go with someone else. He wonders if she would have chosen differently had they not already been within walking distance of the festival
For now he is just going to soak the good feelings up, she is joining him and he hopes he gets to spoil her a little with treats from some of the booths. He looks at his phone and her guess is one word ticket. “You guessed the ticket so that seems about right to me,” Izuku says. “So I guess sometime tonight I have to do a dare or something, just say the word and I'll do it.”
Izuku passes the tickets to the guy at the entrance, “oh how fun, are you and your girlfriend here for a special occasion?” The man asks as he stamps both their hands. Izuku freezes unsure how to respond even if he thinks it's flattering that someone would mistake them for a couple, Uraraka might not.
“Actually this is our first time here so I'd say that it's a special occasion.” Uraraka says cool and calm, like the world isn't about to crumble around them. The word girlfriend keeps running though his brain, she hadn't denied it or scoffed like it was crazy.
They walk through the gates and there are lights everywhere on wells, trees, igloos. There are bright and beautiful displays of all kinds, even a ferris wheel. He can smell the fair food wafting through the air, the mood this place sets feels a bit magical. No wonder Uraraka wanted to come to this.
There are all kinds of people in attendance, but Izuku doesn't know if it is just because of his recent strong desire to be in a relationship that he seems to be noticing all the couples here or if there are a disproportionate amount of couples out tonight. Everywhere he looks there are people hand in hand.
A lot of the displays have love stories involved or romantic themes, he wonders if this was a bad idea, he hadn't been aware of this, and he is worried he may accidentally give himself away.
They come across a certain display: it is a row of heart shaped arches made out of candy cane lights called lovers lane. Couples walk down the strip holding hands and take photos at a large heart display at the end of the path. He wonders what something like that would feel like, he thinks it must be nice for them.
There is a couple at the end when they pass by and he overhears a commotion that they just got engaged. He notices Uraraka paying close attention, the display makes him nervous so he tries to move them along to something less intimidating.
“Hey, would you like to grab a bite to eat? There are tons of options.” He points to the equivalent of a food court full of all the fair style foods.
“Sure Deku,” she says sounding a bit disappointed, “that would be great.”
“Uh what would you like?” He asks.
“Anything is good.” She says.
Izuku does not want to pick the wrong thing when she is already bothered about something. So he sticks with a known favorite. “Mochi?'' he points to the stand, she nods and he notices a slight tug upward on her lips.
When they get to the stand and he sees that all the mochi are heart shaped he can feel his face flush. He instantly regrets every thought he had that ever made him think bringing his crush for a night out would be a good idea. It is as if the universe is conspiring to make it look like this was a huge romantic gesture, while it was only meant to be an excuse to spend time with her.
Maybe it was meant to be a small gesture, but still this is getting out of hand.
All hope of this looking like a strictly friends get together is piece by piece being tossed out the window. Uraraka runs up to the stand and her small smile widens into a full blown one “ Deku!” She says excitedly “these are adorable, I can’t believe how cute this place is. I love them, we have to get a photo before we eat any!”
Maybe this will be okay.
Uraraka picks a box of mochi for the two of them to share and he pays for it as he had promised. Before they touch the dozen assorted coloured heart shaped treats. She tilts the open box for a photo and he offers to take a picture for her when she says “Get over here, you have to be in the photo too, dummy.”
She only calls him dummy when she is in the most playful of moods and the name makes him grin from ear to ear.
He moves in close beside her and she wraps her arm around his waist and directs him to put his arm over her shoulder. He lifts his arm around her shoulder as instructed . He is soaking this up, he couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to be near her. This kind of stuff would usually make him stiff and awkward, but the fact that he knows she wants this makes him feel relaxed and warm all over.
She holds the goodies up near their faces at an angle the camera can see while he takes several pictures of them happily together with the confections on display. He doesn't want to stop taking pictures because this will end but eventually he has to as he knows they have enough good shots.
Whatever had been bothering Uraraka before must be less of an issue now, he hopes it wasn't something he had done. If he didn't know better he might think she is flirting with him a little. He could get used to this.
Ochako is worried she may have pushed it when she pulled Deku in for the impromptu photoshoot like that, but it doesn't seem like he minds, does he? She decides she better not linger here any longer in case it bothers him. She grabs his phone directly from his hand upon letting go and tells him they have to see how they turned out.
He lets her scroll as they both look through the pictures, they look like a happy couple on a date. Deku’s smile is incredible in these and the way his eyes are shining makes her swoon. She thinks she will treasure them for the rest of her life and she quickly emails a bunch to herself from his phone.
“Hey Deku, want to ride the ferris wheel with me?” She thinks being on the ferris wheel is a great excuse to get close to him to test her theories, but nothing so obvious as lovers lane.
She is completely perplexed by Deku. He was so blatant about not holding her hand earlier but he also brought her to this really fun event that is known to be a couples thing, and he even offered to get her the heart shaped mochi. However he seemed surprised by their shape and seems to almost be trying to avoid anything too lovey dovey.
When he had her arm around her for that photo he looked so happy, like he wanted to be there as much as she wanted him there. Maybe that is wishful thinking, she is confused. She knows Deku is smart, he had to know she was trying to get him to hold her hand earlier, he has to know about the implications of bringing her to this specific event. Sure families and other groups attend, but it's considered a romantic spot.
Then again just like Tsu and Mina said he seems to have a blind spot when it comes to her, like he doesn't notice things he should. Maybe she could confess and he would convince himself it never happened. But why?
“Yeah sure that sounds fun. I can buy the tickets for it as well.” He offers.
“Okay.” She agrees reluctantly not wanting to make him pay, but also wanting to gauge if he views this as a date or not. “But I can pay for the next ride.”
She watches his face closely when she says that. He appears deep in thought. It takes a moment before he says “Well it was me who made you come, so I'd like to pay for everything even if it's over the price point, but we can take turns paying if you would prefer. Beside these ticket were given to me from All Might so they didn't cost me anything regardless of their value”
She had decided to let him pay anyway, but she was definitely convinced now. “All Might gave them to you? Is that how you came up with this idea?”
“No, I mentioned that I overheard you talking to Asui about wanting to go to this the other day. And was uh… asking what he thought about the idea as a gift and well he said he had tickets I could have. I'm honestly not sure if people just like giving him things or if he just likes giving me things regardless the next day gave me these to use for the gift or whatever I wanted.”
“Oh so you didn’t know about this event before that?”
“No.. not really. I hope that's okay. I Just didn't know what to get you and when I heard you talking about it it got me thinking it might be a good idea. . .” hmm so maybe he had no idea about it being a romantic destination.
“Yeah you can buy a few ride tickets so we can go on more than one ride, Lets go.” She wants to reach out for his hand. The desire to be close to him has never been stronger, and that's okay this desire is going to push her onward to get to the bottom of this tonight.
They get onto the ferris wheel and their legs are touching between them. They ride around once, nothing too exciting but enjoyable if for no other reason than the company she is keeping. When the ride stops for the first time so they can load other guests on, she ignores every alarm bell in her head telling her not to and moves her hand almost resting it on Dekus knee but at the last second chickens out and only settles her hand between their legs. Yes she still is touching his leg but barely.
She doesn’t have to wonder if he notices because whatever he had been saying halts completely, he freezes for a second. Then she sees his hands fidgeting through a reflection on the ferris wheel bar. He doesn't ask her to move her hand and he also doesn't reach for hers. He folds his arms and holds them tight, like he isn’t sure what to do.
Then he continues talking as if nothing had changed, but she is certain he noticed. Ochako truly can not decide what to make of this. She expected one of two things to happen and neither had. So she steals her courage and asks “Deku, why did you bring me here?”
“It's my gift to you, remember?” He answers a little too quietly.
“Yes I know that, silly.” She turns and gives his closest shoulder a light shove, “But why this?”
“I t-told you before, I heard you talking and I didn’t know what to g-get you. It’s okay r-right?” He is so nervous, she is making him uncomfortable.
But she needs to know.
Ignoring her feelings hasn’t worked and they rarely have this much privacy to really talk to each other.
“The gift is perfect Deku, thank you.”
“And so is yours, thank you.” He nods still not looking at her.
She really wants to come out with her feelings already but she can’t bring herself to do it.
The ride moves to the next stop and then another in silence. It should be comfortable, but it’s not, not for her because she knows she wants to say something. Instead of just confessing because she is a coward she asks “Deku?”
“Yes”
“I want to claim my prize.”
“Oh right,” he says with a crack in his voice “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.” She says feeling a little guilty to put him on the spot like this.
She wants to know.
She needs to know.
So she can move on already.
“Okay” he swallows and he starts fidgeting with his hands that are no longer folded, and he is no longer turned away from her but he’s not looking at her either.
“It’s a two part question, depending on your first answer. Ready?” He turns toward her and nods.
“Ready.” He says swallowing hard again, looking determined as if he was about to face down a strong opponent.
“You know you won too, right?”
“Okay I wasn’t sure what we had decided.” He nods, “that’s good to know.”
Ochako is not going to chicken out. This is the fastest way to find out and then she can lay this matter to rest. “Do you have a crush on anyone?” She asks quickly before she can change her mind, surprised at the pitch in her own voice.
He was probably expecting this question, and he obviously wants to keep it to himself if the resigned look on his face is anything to go by. Concern oozes off of him so in an attempt to ease his worries she promises not to tell anyone his secret. That does not seem to comfort him in the slightest.
“Yes, I have a crush on someone.” He finally says in a shaky voice.
She almost feels guilty to ask but she just has to know, so she can let this go. “Who is it?”
“Do we really have to do this right now?” He crunches his face up. She is both terrified and excited to hear the answer so she can just stop wondering already. And with the way he is acting she really doubts it’s her.
“You were the one who wanted to get this over with tonight. And now seems as good of a time as any.” She says. “Deku I promise your secret will be safe with me.” He sighs. “Have you never told anyone about this crush before, is it a new development?”
“Yes I have told some people and I have had this crush for a while.” He says blushing.
“Oh good I was worried for a second there that I was asking a question that you've never told anyone. I can’t believe you have told people but not me,” she nudges him good naturedly “I can keep a secret you know.”
“Yeah, well you see the thing is, the reason I never told you is that. . . ” He pokes fingers together searching for words “I didn’t want to annoy you.”
“You're annoying me right now, stop stalling, come on, who is it?” She asks excitedly “I’m dying to know your best kept secret.”
“Well don't say I didn’t warn you.” He says solemnly. He slowly looks right at her before he finally answers “it's you, Uraraka, my crush is you.”
Her jaw drops from her complete and absolute shock at his answer even though it was what she had been wanting to hear. She hadn’t prepared herself for this because she was so sure it couldn't be true. “I’m sorry.” He says turning his face away from her “I’m so sorry, I promise this doesn’t have to change anything between us.”
She has just forced a crush confession about herself out of her best friend, and he apparently doesn’t know how she feels about him. It’s hard to believe that he is telling the truth, but she knows he is not lying.
A cool breeze brushes over them she can feel him trembling beside her, she needs to make this right somehow, and quickly. Instinctively she starts rubbing his back. “You don't have to be sorry, I'm sorry for making you tell me, I'm sorry.” she rubs his back so furiously it can’t possibly be the comforting presence she is going for.
Izuku's heart rate starts to slow as Uraraka rubs his back and everything around him starts to feel hazy. He told her about his crush on her, she hasn't run away probably because they are buckled into this ride. But he saw the look on her face at the revelation, she was horrified.
He feels the perfectly timed cold wind on his face before she starts saying some kind of apology, probably that she doesn't feel that same way. He feels the pulsating pain of the rejection run down deep into his bones and he wants it to stop, so he welcomes the hazy numb feelings.
He has fleeting seconds of lucidity every now and again as the ride halts to a stop or when Uraraka changes the pace of her hand on his back. When both stop, Uraraka grabs his hand and squeezes it tight, “Deku, it's time to get off the ride.” She tugs at him.
He gets up and she pulls him over to a bench with her hand still on his hand and he knows he is pathetic when he can't even bring himself to pull away from her pity comfort that feels so bitter sweet and he wonders if this is the last time they ever hang out. Now that he has ruined everything. So close and yet so far from what he wants.
He should have lied. He was so stupid he knew this was what would happen if he ever confessed. That it would upset the balance.
“…ku.. Deku,” he hears Uraraka saying, pulling him out of his thoughts. He needs to recover from this somehow, he needs to put his metaphorical armor back on and salvage what he can of this if he wants any hope of remaining friends. He gives her direct eye contact letting her know he hears her. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah I'm fine. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. I was kind of out of it for a bit there I guess, my quirk did not act up or anything did it?” He pulls his hands to his face pretending to check them over. He is stooping this low to avoid having to discuss what he had said, anything even a fake concern about his quirk.
“I don't think so," she says, looking him over with pity in her eyes. “Deku. . .”
He is not entirely sure what he is saying but he wants to get as far away from his recently shared truth as possible “It's fine, Im fine, everything is fine.” he forces a weak smile.
“Well do you want to go on another ride then?” she asks
He mostly wants to go home and wallow, but he can’t. “Sure” he mumbles and Uraraka grabs his hand pulling him towards one of the rides.
He doesn’t know what to make of this new thing where she is grabbing his hand. If she had done this before the ferris wheel ride he would have been elated. He is trying to ignore how soft her hand is and how it sends pulsing warmth into his entire being. Because it somehow makes the ache in his chest worse.
He is disoriented, he is certain that she had just placed him firmly in the friends only zone, and he knows now better than ever that isn’t going to change.
Friends can hold hands, that's true, but the timing of when this started makes him think it’s not that. Maybe it’s a pity thing, he doesn’t have much in the way of pride left with her but he is pretty sure he shouldn’t be accepting pity hand holds. He will put an end to it… after this next ride.
They walk up to a ride which appears to be a cross between a covered wagon and a roller coaster. The attendant, an older fellow, tells the small group in line for the ride, “This ride, the caterpillar, used to be especially popular in old days among young couples. In fact it still is because once you are seated in the ride, the caterpillar canvas covering that pulls over the ride offers privacy to make out.”
The story itself was enough to make him squirm, adding insult to injury the man winks at him specifically as if this information was particularly pertinent to him. Izuku knows he won't be making out with the girl next to him, that he will never have the pleasure of kissing her.
He is pretty sure no one will ever see him in that way, and he might never even get a first kiss from anyone let alone Uraraka.
He moves to leave but Uraraka holds his hand and stands firmly, undeterred by the awkwardness of the whole situation. He will prove he can keep up with her so he braces himself for another ride.
They crawl into a cozy two person seat with a share buckle for both of them. Just as the man had described once the tent is pulled over the ride, it feels like it is just them inside. They can’t see the guests in front of or behind them, it is private here. On the outside it looks like a giant caterpillar zooming around a tree.
Izuku crosses his arms around himself in the dim light of the ride. He told her that him having a crush on her didn’t have to make things change, and he really did mean that. But, now that it’s out it’s difficult to pretend everything is as it was, especially with it being so recent. Hopefully this will get easier with time. He can take rejection, he will get over this.
It’s not like anything has changed, the only difference now is that he can stop dreaming about something that will never ever be. He had kept his head in the clouds about this way too long, His friends implying that maybe she liked him too were just too nice to tell him the truth. The truth he has always known deep down, that she is way out of his league.
“Want to use your truth or dare on me?”
“No, not really, I don’t even know what to ask or have you do.” He says quietly, keeping his eyes fixed on his feet.
It’s not like you can dare someone to have feelings for you and he really doesn’t have the emotional capacity to hear who she has a crush on right now. It might break him even more.
“Hmm I’m sure you could think of something. What did you have in mind originally?”
“I didn’t think I’d win,” he says, “so I hadn’t put much thought into it.”
“Okay so let me know if you want to ask me to do something, anything Deku. Really, you heard what the man said about this ride.” Izuku's whole body goes still, is she goading him to dare her to make out? That can't possibly be right. He is more dazed than he'd realized.
Besides, he would never dare a person to kiss him. If he ever gets to make out with someone it had better not be because he dared them too. But maybe this might be his only opportunity to kiss Uraraka and it’s her idea…No no no, don’t let desperate ideas through your brain filter Izuku.
“Sorry what?” He finally asks.
“This ride, it is the kissing ride….” She says in that sweet dewy voice as if it should mean something to him, and it does, it means he shouldn't be here. He looks over at her to try and figure her out and even in the low lighting he can see that her face is tender, shy, and inviting he doesn't think she is joking. Is she flirting?
His chest fills with busy butterflies that are trying to escape, he is trembling. Their eyes lock, her eyelashes flutter, her soft lips look so tempting. She tilts towards him a little, she is so close he could lean in just a little and touch his lips to hers. Thank the heavens above that the ride stops. He thinks his heart might explode, he needs to get out of here before does anything else he can't come back from.
Ochako doesn't know what else she can do to make things right with Deku. Everything she has been saying seems to be falling on deaf ears. She literally confessed to Deku that she also has a crush on him and his expression didn’t even change, he didn't say anything, the fact she could barely get his attention to pull him off the ride only cemented in her mind that she needs to show him her feelings with actions.
The problem is that ever since she unceremoniously pried out of Deku the most wonderful news of all time he has been in some kind of daze. He’s not himself. She is taking his hand whenever she has the chance. Earlier when the man told the group about the ride being for young couples who want to makeout she held her ground, trying to make it obvious to him that she was fine with that implication.
He has never pulled his hand away from hers or given any indication opposing it, yet the only affirmation was a small soft squeeze back when she had first taken his hand. Other than that and the few words he uttered earlier “it's you, Uraraka, my crush is you.” he hasn't offered her back an ounce of reassurance that his crush on her means he would want to date or do anything about it.
Ochako doesn't want to push things too far, she already had made him upset by forcing him to share a secret he wasn't ready to share, she apologized a hundred times but it was like he had completely shut down.
He is sitting next to her right beside her in what is apparently the kissing ride, saying next to nothing and has his arms wrapped around himself. She can't tell if he is being shy, nervous or just completely uninterested. She has already been the one to initiate all talk of feelings today so she teases that he could dare her to kiss him to let him know it's nothing to be nervous about, of course he won’t, that's not his way.
Ochako is pushing herself beyond anything she thought possible to show Deku she wants to see where their mutual crushes will take them now that they have both confessed.
He’d kept telling her that he was sorry that nothing had to change so many times on the Ferris wheel and she said what if she wanted she didn’t want things to stay the same because she also had a crush on him. That’s when she first reached out for his hand and he did squeeze hers back in return, but he'd said nothing.
She doesn’t know what she expected as a response and he seems more alert since they’d gotten off that ride but he is so down. She thinks it’s because she had him share his feelings before he was ready. They are here at the winter nights lights festival together alone, and have finally shared their secrets. It would be a shame to waste this opportunity. She wants to see him smile again before they go home.
She might like to give him a kiss, but she is too afraid to just plant one on him. It's not like they are dating or anything, and she has no idea how to kiss really. Ever since she saw the couples at lovers lane earlier she knew she was going to put her crush on Deku to rest for good or that she would confess, and now that she has it almost feels like a let down, they should both be beaming. But Deku is acting destroyed, and not in a good way and she knows it's her fault for forcing his feelings out of him.
She is no longer afraid of her feelings being one sided and if her words aren't working maybe actions will. Still words are safer so when he finally has finished contemplating what she had just said about the dare, the dare she knew he would never make she decides to just go for it and it takes all her courage to say “This ride, its the kissing ride…” she says in a soft flirty voice she, and gently taps his leg just for a split second. He wasn't even looking at her so she is pleased when that seems to finally get his attention.
He looks upset at first but when his eyes lock with hers, she thinks she sees her own feelings reflected in his eyes. She leans in just a little to let him know she is interested. She can tell he is contemplating, his eyes wide and his lips parting slightly. She thinks he is about to learn towards her and she can feel her heart racing. She is so nervous and excited she closes her eyes in anticipation when the ride rolls to a stop ruining the moment.
The canopy is pulled off and they have to get out. Why couldn’t the ride have lasted longer? It took a lot of nerve to get to that point, she isn't sure she can do it again and she thinks Deku looks relieved… But she can't stop thinking about it, she almost kissed the sweetest, hottest, most incredible boy she knows, and she still very much wants to.
As soon as they are out of The Caterpillar Izuku's hands are glued to his sides it is almost like he is telling her to back off, so she doesn't reach for his hand, she does leave hers available as they walk in case he wants to reach out for hers. But it hurts her more than she wants to admit. She doesn't say anything about the near kiss, or his strange mood and actions, and neither does he.
They stand awkwardly for several minutes until finally Deku shuffles a little kicking the ground and says “So All Might mentioned there was a live performance of some kind, if that interests you we should look into that before it's too late or we could check out any attractions you wanted to see before we head home I guess.”
“While we are here, we could go on the ride again.” she says timidly “I'd really like that and then we should find out about the show that sounds fun.”
“T-that ride, y-you want to go on that ride again?” He points to The Caterpillar as if they had been on dozens of rides. “I-I don't think that's such a good idea.”
“Why not, I kind of thought it was just getting fun, didn't you?” She smiles at him, as his face goes crimson.
If cruel and unusual punishment is her idea of fun, then sure that was fun. Izuku had made enough of a fool out of himself for one night. If he finds himself in a similar situation again he is going to crack.
“Uraraka, please don't tease me like this, it's not fair.”
“I'm not teasing you, I'm serious about the ride, and what I said earlier.”
“What you said earlier?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you talking about?”
“On the Ferris Wheel, just before I took your hand, you don’t remember what I said?” She squints at him.
She said lots of things, but nothing in particular rings a bell.
“No. What did you say?” He asks.
“I told you what if I don’t want things to stay the same?” Of course she doesn’t, He is creepy to her now.
“You don’t?” He refuses to cry, he tries to focus on what she is saying.
“No, I don’t because I have a crush on you too, and I want to see where these feelings might take us.” She says blushing so deeply he wonders if her hair is going to change color. How he had missed such an important tidbit.
“You really said that? I think I would remember … What did you just say?” He says blinking in disbelief.
She repeats herself and giggles nervously, “No wonder you have been so moody, I'm so sorry, and I'm serious about wanting to see where this goes.”
“Really, but aren’t you scared?” He says not wanting to get too excited.
“Terrified.” she says “you’d have to be crazy not to be afraid of losing what we have, but the only thing crazier than that would be ignoring the fact that it could be something more.”
“Are you messing with me? because until about thirty seconds ago I thought I just ruined the best friendship I have ever had.” Now he is crying just a little, he tries to blink the tears away hoping it goes unnoticed.
“I'm not messing with you,” she puts her hand out his hand touching his, but waits for him to take her hand this time. When he finally reaches out and takes her hand after ignoring his desire for so long and she squeezes his back he feels as if he has never belonged anywhere more than he does here with her.
She bats her eyelashes at him and smiles “Do you want to give the caterpillar another go? We can talk more there.”
He has always liked when Uraraka challenges him and he is not about to back down now, even if he has broken into a cold sweat.
“You’re going to be the death of me.” He answers with a smile so big it hurts, and he pulls Uraraka towards the ride lineup this time.