Chapter Text
“Why the fuck did you do this?”
“Crowley-”
“There is no excuse for what you’ve done!” Crowley scowled, cutting Aziraphale off.
“Let me explain-”
“I refuse to believe anything you say can make this right!”
“Please!” The Supreme Arch-Angel exasperated. “Crowley, this is ridiculous!”
“It is, isn’t it?!” Crowley snarled, stepping closer to Aziraphale, who swallowed thickly and took a step back. “Give me one reason why I should listen to you!”
“He deserves to be heard.” Crowley and Aziraphale turned to Muriel, who’d pushed themself up. Crowley’s wings faltered and folded back as he strode to their side, gently pushing them back down.
“Lay down and rest, Petal.”
“Please listen to him.” Muriel whispered. Crowley shook his head, smoothing Muriel’s hair back with his hand.
“I’m not letting him convince you that you deserved this, M.”
“Crowley, I-” Aziraphale cut off as soon as Crowley stood and faced him again.
“You have 10 seconds to get out this bookshop.”
“ My bookshop!”
“Oh? So what happened to ‘nothing lasts forever’, Aziraphale! When I begged you to stay here, when I poured my heart out to you! Wasn’t your bookshop then, but now it is?”
“I-I just-”
“3 seconds!”
“Crowley, please, just listen to me!”
“Get. Out!”
“I shan’t!” Aziraphale stamped his foot to make his point.
“Then I’ll make you!”
“Stop it!”
Muriel was suddenly standing between them, but not for very long. Pain stabbed at their back as the hellfire from their wings met their skin, causing them to lose their composure and stumble backwards, straight into Aziraphale.
“Muriel, sweetheart!” Aziraphale cried, dropping to his knees as the fallen Angel collapsed into him. “You must rest!”
Crowley’s eyes were blazing, his corporeal form smoking and he clenched his fists and his jaw.
“No-!” Muriel cried. “N-not until- Oh, it hurts! C-Crowley-!”
“Here. I’m here.” Crowley growled protectively, taking one of their hands in both of his. “I’m here.”
Muriel whimpered as they turned into Aziraphale, seeking comfort from him. Crowley’s eyes softened at the sight, and he glanced up at Aziraphale, torn between tearing Muriel from the Arch-Angel’s hold and protecting them himself, or allowing whatever this was that Muriel clearly needed.
“Close your eyes, Muriel…” The Angel reached up with one hand, pressing it to Muriel’s forehead. “Think about all those fond memories you have here on Earth: Your first hot chocolate, all the hidden books that you found in all those obscure places, and breakfast. Oh, and those hugs you love so much, and the first time you fed the ducks, and those plants you talked to. Remember the stars, and the planets and constellations you saw, and when you braided Crowley’s hair so beautifully.”
Crowley watched the scene unfold in confusion as Muriel’s trembling died down a little, safe in Aziraphale’s hold.
“Think about the time you first cursed, and the first time you tried tea and alcohol. Think about all those memories you’ve shared with Crowley. He’s here, he’ll look after you, just as you’ve looked after him. He’s here, just like he promised.”
The Angel held Muriel through the pain they were evidently going through, whispering sweet nothings to them in an attempt to distract them. Nothing about the scene screamed malice or ill-intent. Crowley’s emotions swirled in a tangled mess of feelings. He’d stopped smoking, at least.
“How did you know about all of that?” Crowley frowned, and Aziraphale sighed.
“It’s not their fault. Metatron asked me to ask them to spy on you, but instead, I asked for ‘reports’ on the things you’ve taught them. I’ve loved reading them…” Aziraphale sighed happily, looking up at Crowley with tear-filled now-purple eyes. “I’ve loved reading about you being more you again… I was so afraid I’d hurt you irreparably.”
“What did you do?” He asked, softer this time.
“Metatron told me I had to summon Muriel to Heaven, and said he had a special mission for them… So I summoned them, and awaited their arrival with Metatron.” Aziraphale began:
“Mr Aziraphale!”
Muriel was beaming as Michael, Uriel and Saraqael led them into the large white space.
“Hello, my dear!” Aziraphale smiled just as brightly. “How have you been?”
“Very good, actually!”
“Wonderful.” Aziraphale smiled. “Metatron, if you’d be so kind, what is this meeting in aid of?”
“Well. We’ve been discussing Muriel’s use to Heaven.” Metatron turned to Michael, who nodded. “And it’s been decided that we’re going to remove them from the book of life.”
“-What…?”
“-You’ve what?” Muriel and Aziraphale both turned to Metatron with the same look of horror on their faces. “You can’t make this decision without me!”
“We can. Majority vote. They did bring the traitor up here.” Michael pointed out. “They could have shown him anything. We were lucky that they didn’t show him anything that Hell could use against us in war!”
“They helped find Gabriel!” Aziraphale argued. “They’re the only reason we found him in the first place! You must reconsider!”
“Muriel has been a waste of space since they were assigned as 37th order scrivener.” Michael scoffed. The other angels nodded. “The only reason no-one erased them earlier was because they were out of the way.”
“Now, you see, they’re all buddy-buddy with The Traitor.” Metatron continued. “They could bring him up here again! We can’t allow that influence to continue. It’s best to remove them completely, that way they will have never met Crowley.”
“But then you wouldn’t have found Gabriel. If Muriel and Crowley don’t figure out where Gabriel hid his memories, then… Well, war would break out! I threw my halo, Heaven and Hell would be at war!”
“And Heaven would win.” Metatron beamed. “Uriel, fetch the book.”
“You can’t do this! I won’t allow it!” Aziraphale cried as Uriel walked away.
“Then perhaps I should follow through with my previous idea of removing Crowley’s name instead, hmm?” Metatron raised an eyebrow at Aziraphale, who shrank back.
“It’s okay.” Muriel whispered. “At least I’m not fallen. Crowley would be so upset if that happened.”
Aziraphale blinked, looking up at them in shock. Muriel couldn’t be suggesting… could they?
“He’d probably forget about accepting the Duke Of Hell position if he were stuck with me.” They lied, hoping they wouldn’t notice. “It would probably scare him too. And I probably wouldn’t be a very good demon.” Muriel laughed nervously. “I’d probably let all the Angels into Hell and show them everything. How silly would that be? And then Crowley couldn’t use me to spy on Heaven. Oh, that would be an awful idea.”
Metatron and Michael exchanged a look.
“It… would mean that Gabriel would still be found. No war would break out, and we could move on with the Second Coming.” Aziraphale whispered, as though considering the ‘idea’. He tried to speak to the others in a way that might change their minds. “I’ve had a lot of questions about the Second Coming from the other Angels. If we did go through with a Fall, it might discourage those who are starting to question us.”
“They’d be out of here.” Michael nodded as Uriel returned, book in hand. “Out of our hair, so to speak. Hell’s problem.”
“Are we really willing to give Hell another soldier?” Saraquel asked.
“Soldier?” Michael laughed. “Muriel is a disaster waiting to happen. They’re no threat to us.”
“And if we did remove them, what else would come undone? We don’t know what else Muriel was involved in. And what about testing the Faith of Job?” Aziraphale asked. “Muriel was part of that. Would that be undone?”
“A fall would be tidier.” Metatron thought aloud. “And if it burns Crowley in the process…”
“Oh, he’d be so upset. He’d probably blame himself for making me Fall. He’d never accept my forgiveness, it would hurt him so much… Oh, what a horrible idea. I shouldn’t have said anything!”
“You always were a dim little thing, weren’t you?” Metatron laughed. Muriel did their best to look distraught.
“Muriel, 37th Order Scrivner of Heaven.” Aziraphale stepped forward. He had to be the one to do this, before anyone changed their mind. “I hereby revoke your title, and cast you down to Hell.”
“Oh, no, you can’t!” Muriel cried. “Please don’t!”
Aziraphale said nothing, just waved his hand in a cross formation.
The ground below Muriel opened up and swallowed them whole.
“I-I didn’t have a choice until Muriel gave me one. I tried to come down to warn you, Crowley.” Aziraphale whispered. “I thought maybe you could stop them reaching Hell, save them from that at least… I just… Metatron wasn’t very happy that I’d taken it upon myself to cast Muriel out without a majority vote; I couldn’t get away from him in time. I-I’m so sorry…” Aziraphale choked back a sob.
Crowley turned to Muriel, still curled up in Aziraphale’s hold.
They seemed to be breathing easier now, their tears now dried and no longer being replaced with more tears. The burns on their face and arms were starting the first stage of healing. Muriel seemed more anxious than in pain. Their wings were now fully black, not a trace of hellfire to be seen. Crowley himself breathed a little easier too.
“…This was your idea, Petal?” Crowley asked softly, brushing his thumbs over the back of Muriel’s hand. Muriel nodded.
“It wasn’t Mr Aziraphale’s fault, please don’t be mad at him… I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t want to be erased. Not anymore.”
“Anymore?” Crowley asked.
“Not after you.” Muriel whispered. “You made me like myself again. You make me feel like you want me here, like it’s okay that I exist. I’m sorry if I was wrong.”
“No.” Crowley shook his head firmly. He reached up, taking Muriel’s face in his hands so they understood how serious he was being. “You’re not wrong. Not at all. I-” Crowley glanced up at Aziraphale, memories of the last time he’d been so open flooding his mind, before sighing and turning back to Muriel. “You’re so clever, you know that? Smart little thing, you are… I’m happy that you’re here, that you chose me to teach you about humans and the Earth. I love you, M. You’re… Well, I guess you’re my kid.”
“I love you too, Mr Crowley.”
“Oh, don’t start that again!” Crowley smirked, letting go of them. “It’s Crowley.” He finally turned back to Aziraphale, who was trying to wipe away his tears with one hand. The smirk fell. “Angel-”
“Metatron only wanted me to be Supreme Arch-Angel because he knows I’m pathetic and can’t fight back against him. I know that now. And when he threatened to remove you from the book of life… I love you so much, Crowley, I couldn’t… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Crowley…” Aziraphale whispered. “I don’t expect your forgiveness. What I’ve done to you, to both of you, is unforgivable.”
“What do you think, Petal?” Crowley turned to Muriel, opening his arms. Muriel transferred from Aziraphale’s lap to Crowley’s. “Should we forgive him?”
“Hm…” Muriel pretended to think for a moment before looking up at Crowley. “Well, we do love him. It would be the right thing to do.”
“Muriel, you’re an awful demon.” Crowley joked.
“I did say so in Heaven!”
“That you did.” Aziraphale whispered sadly. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry-”
“Don’t be. I’m very happy. I forgive you, and I don’t think you’re pathetic.” Muriel beamed at him.
“Thank you, sweetheart…” Aziraphale forced a smile back.
“Ngk…” Crowley sighed, bowing his head, before looking up at the Angel. “I forgive you too, Angel.”
“You- You do? But… why?” Aziraphale whispered. “Crowley, I threw away everything we had. I’ve said so many hurtful things to you because I was so scared you were going to say something that would stop me from leaving. I let you believe I believed them. I hurt you over fighting back against Metatron. I’ve… Crowley, I’ve been awful to you, I can’t expect to be forgiven for that!”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think 6000 years of friendship is worth throwing away over a few words said. That doesn’t mean I’m not upset, because I am. I just… I know you, Angel. You’re… Well. You’re you. And I love you. And I can’t stop that. And… I know you’d rather I was the Angel I used to be-”
“No.” Aziraphale shook his head. “No. I love you. Who you were, and who you are, and who you will be. If you’ll allow me to.”
“Maybe, once this is all over.” Crowley smiled slightly. “We can sod off to Alpha Centuri. You too, Muriel. You’d like it there.”
“I was thinking somewhere more… on Earth.” Aziraphale chuckled, his voice thick with emotion. “A little cottage in the middle of nowhere. No pollution so we can always see the stars. We’ll get you the best telescope money can buy so you can see the stars up close.”
“Sounds good. I’ll stick it in the diary after ‘Second Coming’, shall I?”
“I don’t know how long I can put that off for…” Aziraphale sighed. “But if we make it past the Second Coming, I would love to love you.”
“I’d love to love you too.” Crowley nodded.
“I need to go back before someone comes looking. I… I’m very sorry for how things happened.”
“We forgive you.” Muriel and Crowley both told him. Aziraphale smiled, before waving his hand and disappearing.
“You feeling any better?” Crowley asked after a moment. Muriel leaned back into the demon, looking up at him. Crowley looked down.
“Yes. You caught me.”
“Well, the sulfur pit is the worst part. Wasn’t going to let you go through that alone.”
“You mean… You didn’t know if you’d be dragged to Hell with me?” Muriel asked. Crowley shrugged. “You would have suffered another Fall for me?”
“Look, M, I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t really think about it… I just didn’t want you to be alone. Being alone…” Crowley trailed off, but Muriel understood.
“You’re not afraid of Falling, not really. You’re afraid of suffering alone.”
“Same as you.” Crowley forced a smile. “Well. I guess I should formally invite you to join my side.”
“Your side?”
“Well. Our side. I don’t work for Hell, not really. They leave me alone now. And since you didn’t reach Hell, they probably don’t even know you’re a demon, so they’ll probably leave you alone too. We can work for Earth, for the good of mankind. Stand on a neutral ground: Neither Heaven nor Hell. What do you say?”
“Us two?”
“Us two. Plus Aziraphale, when he stops being a loser.”
“He’s not a loser.” Muriel lightly scolded. “I’d like to join your side.”
“Our side.” Crowley smiled. “And now that you’re technically a demon, I can teach you to use your new abilities.”
“Oh, yes! I’d like to know how to change into my animal aspect.”
“All in good time, Petal.” Crowley chuckled, resting his chin atop their head. “Let’s just recover for now, okay?”
“Okay.”
A minute passed.
“You promised me ice-cream.” Muriel peered up at the demon again. Crowley broke into laughter.
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go get ice-cream then…”