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Good morning, Night Vale!
Gosh, it still feels a little odd to say those words. But that's part of any new job, right? You need some time to get settled in, to adjust to having a different role with its own special routines.
It's probably the same for most of you, too, listeners. All your lives you've been used to turning to one trusted Voice for your local news, traffic updates, and municipal regulations, and then one day you switch on your radios and here's this new guy! Do you like him? Can you trust him?
Yes. You can. But I completely sympathize if it doesn't happen right away.
That said, I have to extend a sincere thanks to you, people of Night Vale! Whatever internal doubts and reservations you may be having, you have done a fine job of repressing them enough to show me a warm and friendly welcome to your beautiful town. Everyone I've spoken to has been so kind and reassuring, and from the bottom of my heart I am grateful for your hospitality.
Why, just before this broadcast, I was paid a visit by a most charming man. He said he was not originally from Night Vale either, but has come to think of this town as his own. How about that? Boy, I just can't wait until I, too, feel that at home here.
This man said his name was Carlos. I'm sure you know him, listeners, but I'm still getting to know everyone, so he had to tell me that he was a scientist.
His hair was going a bit grey at the temples, and could do with a trim, but other than that, he was perfect.
I shook his hand and told him I was delighted to meet him. And do you know, he said the sweetest things! I'm sure he's friendly to everyone, of course, and I shouldn't read too much into it. But when he brushed his fingertips gently across my cheek, and I gazed into his dark and jewel-like eyes, I must admit that my heart skipped a beat.
Listeners, I think I may be falling in love.
But hey, this is a station for all of Night Vale, not just my personal life! So, on that upbeat and hopeful note, let's go to an advertisement from StrexCorp. You want for nothing. You need for nothing. Strex is everything.
(°,,,°)
"Oh, my poor Carlos," breathed Cecil as he dabbed antiseptic on the back of the scientist's scraped and bloodied hand. "What on earth did he do to you?"
"Nothing," said Carlos, with a touch of grim pride. "Tried his best to take my hand off, but I, um, I sort of clocked him across the jaw."
Cecil's eyes sparkled. "Oh, Carlos! If you hadn't been incredibly stupid for going in there in the first place, in spite of my warnings and without backup, I would be very impressed with your bravery and heroism."
"To be fair, the next thing I did was run for my life," said Carlos, wincing at the sting as his boyfriend patched him up. "But the good news is, it means he's not invincible! All we need to do is use science to figure out how to take him out once and for all. And then, Cecil, I promise, we'll get you your job back."