Work Text:
“I can’t believe you got us locked in here. Really, what were you thinking?”
“What was I thinking? Hermann, those assholes were going to kick our ass, we’re not exactly the biggest guys around.”
“Doctor Gottlieb, honestly I don’t know why I even try; you’re hopeless. Besides, they would never have decided that you were good target practice if you had even the slightest bit of tact in your body.”
“OH! If I had tact? Puh-lease! You called that bald guy a buffoon, of course they weren’t going to be happy!”
“Well what was I supposed to do in the circumstances, he was inferring that you were having sexual liaisons with kaijus and that- is that your foot?”
“Yeah, sorry, it’s really cramped in here. I could try to shuffle a bit if you want? And how many times do I have to tell you, it’s kaiju.”
“What were you expecting? It’s a supply closet, not a ballroom.”
“You know what, I’m not going to shuffle. You can live with my foot being, wherever it is my foot is. Gods it’s dark in here, can you see anything?”
“Sadly I don’t possess the ability to see in the dark.”
“Unfortunate. Do you think there’ll be someone around to let us out eventually? If we bang loud enough on the door? Because dying in a supply closet with you was not on my agenda, it really wasn’t. Still haven’t seen a kaiju up close either.”
“And if you had any sense you never will, but of course with your track record you’ll find one that’ll imprint on you like a duckling.”
“Are you still angry about Poppins? I’m sorry ok, it’s not my fault he liked me more than you, it really wasn’t. And the door, should I be banging it?”
“Do as you wish, but it’s reinforced, I doubt it will do you any good.”
“So we’re just going to sit here and wait then? Do you want to-”
“No.”
“Right.”
…
“You gave Poppins shrimp.”
“…”
“It’s only natural that a domesticated animal will take to it’s food source.”
“Are we really going to have this argument again?”
“Poppins was my cat Doctor Geiszler, and you stole him!”
“He was a cat! Cats are fickle, disloyal creatures!”
“You lured my cat away.”
“I did not- no, you know what, I’m not doing this. And besides, did you ever think he left because you named him ‘Poppins’? Really man?”
“Oh yes, because you have room to speak, you named your rat ‘Whiskers’ did you not?”
“Hey, Whiskers is a perfectly respectable name for a rat, ‘Poppins’ however, is not a fitting name for a tomcat who was missing an eye and half an ear.”
“He was regal.”
“Yeah, a regal pain in the ass.”
…
“How long do you think we’ll be in here? It’s been a very long time and this whole pitch black, tiny space with you all up in my face is really getting old.”
“With me all up in your face? What is that-”
“Gentlemen. The door has been unlocked for the past two hours. Anytime the two of you would like to resume working…”