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Meeting Toby had been interesting. Being introduced to a scrawny man in an ill-fitting suit was one thing, being introduced to a scrawny man in an ill-fitting suit who just so happened to be the son of the wealthiest man Adil knew, was something else entirely. Toby was difficult to place, he never acts like his status, he rarely flaunts his wealth and he never dresses or dances like his brother, his accent is the only thing that gives him away. So, to say Adil was curious about him from the start, would not be too far from the truth.
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Talking to Toby is fascinating, he is always reading something new, adding away to the library of information he keeps stored in his brain, his stories and information keep Adil entertained for hours on end. Adil always knew Toby was smart, but knowing it and experiencing it firsthand are two very different things.
Toby talks with his hands, he gestures and articulates and loses his way sometimes, eyes never settling in one place, teeth worrying his lips. But he always has a point to make, and he always has something fun to say, and Adil always listens, because it's Toby, and Toby is beautiful when he's passionate.
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Becoming Toby's friend had been like a breath of fresh air. Being able to trade sly quips and conversation over ridiculously expensive alcohol, even if they had to raise their voices to be heard over Betsey's beautiful voice, was one of the few things Adil most looked forward to when working.
When he had sent the Coffee up to Toby's room he was filled with a mix of unease and adrenaline, suspense and excitement, at how Toby might react. An underlying current of nervousness tinged with happiness at the possibilities of what Toby might do.
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Getting shot down had been heartbreaking, Toby telling him a line had been crossed hurt in a way he didn't think possible. He chastised himself, how dare he suppose Toby cared about him, he was just a bartender, there was no way in hell Toby cared for him more than he could hope for. He was seen as what he was, the staff.
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Laughing at the bar with Toby over Lady Theresa was so very refreshing, and the trepidation he felt over the coffee incident melted away as they exchanged amused glances of shared suffering. Watching Toby walk away had been worth it in the end, if not only to hear Lady Theresa's passing remarks as Toby left. A "dish" indeed. Toby would probably snort with laughter if he had heard her.
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Kissing Toby for the first time had felt right, like suddenly it all made sense. Toby was here pressed against him, he was warm, and he was soft, and he just smelt so nice. Adil had prided himself on his self control up until now but he had had enough.
He felt Toby's eyelashes brush his cheek as his eyes fell shut, as he leaned into the kiss, and for a moment, just a moment, the world was silent. Adil's heart was hammering and he never wanted to lean back.
Feeling Toby pull away had been like a punch to the gut, the feel of Toby's hands clenched tight on his elbows as he pushed him away, and the sheer terror on his face as his eyes flickered from Adil's eyes to his lips was one Adil would not forget soon.
Watching Toby leave, breathless and wounded had felt like the final nail in the coffin, like whatever slim chances he had of a friendship or more with this wonderful man were ruined. Whatever hope he had for himself was gone, but Toby was a good man, he had seen his kindness and generosity firsthand. This couldn't be the end. It couldn't be. Could it?
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Approaching Toby in his room and laying himself bare had been terrifying, leaving his fate in the hands of his once friend had his throat clenched in worry, his hands tight in fists at his side. Being dismissed was so much more than he deserved, but in a way he was disappointed, he had expected more, with Toby he always had.
When Toby stops him from leaving, tells him the truth and turns to meet him, hope blooms like an impossible happiness from deep within him. His heart flutters and his breath catches as he straightens Toby's tie, hands skimming over the expensive fabric as a weight lifts from his stomach and leaves him feeling light and open.
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This time, being kissed by Toby felt like a second first time, it felt like finding that final missing puzzle piece, like that one thing that had been lost had finally returned.
Toby's hands on his face, his neck, his shoulders. His fingers in his hair, pulling and pushing, feeling their way around, had felt like the heaven Betsey sings about, the love his parents talk about, had felt like something settling, something that would not be moved.
It felt like home.
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