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“Ah!” Vila's cry of surprise was a little too loud for his liking. Also not to his liking was the sadistic smile on Servalan's face.
“Avon seems to have forgotten something. I wonder if he'd like it back?” Servalan slowly paced around Vila as he nervously eyed the Federation guards surrounding them. One stepped forward and took away his teleport bracelet.
“I imagine he would. You know Avon. Everything in its place and a place for everything,” Vila laughed to hide his panic.
“Perhaps he left you here deliberately. Maybe as part of a ruthlessly cunning plan. Perhaps he left you here because he remembered it's my birthday and wanted to bestow upon me a novelty gift to mark the occasion?” Servalan lightly tapped Vila's nose.
Vila felt the sweat on his palms start to tingle. “It could be both at once. You know, Happy Birthday, here's a booby-trapped surprise for you!”
“I suspect you are more a booby prize than a booby trap, Vila.” Servalan turned her attention to one of the guards. “Anything on the local range scanners?”
“No, Supreme Commander. A ship left at high speed a few minutes ago,” came the reply.
“Keep scanning,” Servalan crossed to a bank of monitors and scowled at them, seemingly willing Avon to appear in them.
Vila fidgeted with his sleeves. “I could bake you a red velvet cake? I could even use real blood for the red bit. Wait, no, you'll want to use my blood, won't you? Forget the cake, we'll have a drink. I bet you have a splendid drinks cabinet.”
“Oh, do shut up,” Servalan waved a dismissive hand at him. She paused and stared intently at him. “On second thoughts, it would be foolish to underestimate you, wouldn't it?”
Panic flashed over Vila's face. “Okay, okay.” He pointed at the guard holding his teleport bracelet. “You better run before that thing goes off!”
The bracelet chirped and the guard threw it down as the other guards ran out the room.
“You idiots, it's a trick!” Servalan shouted after them, kicking the bracelet away.
“It's always a good birthday with tricks and bangs,” Vila's smile was strained as he backed away across the room.
Servalan glared at him in fury, slowly making for the door. “Not even Avon could convince you to do this.” She flinched as the chirping resumed, quicker this time.
“Time's up, Servalan. I won't say it's been fun, because it hasn't. See you in the after life. If there is one,” Vila shrugged, put his fingers in his ears and closed his eyes.
As Servalan's footsteps echoed along the corridor, Vila slowly opened his eyes and dashed over to pick up the bracelet. “Listen Avon, get me out of here now!” Silence. “Avon!”
Vila stared at the bracelet, every second that passed felt like a year. Any second now, Servalan would realise the solid gold fertiliser that Vila had spread. Footsteps approached and Vila held his breath. He really didn't want to be Servalan's birthday death wish.
The door opened and as the guard lifted his gun, the room distorted, the lights sparkled and changed hue. Then he was on the teleport pad staring at Avon's stern face.
“I thought we'd lost you for good, Vila,” Avon was already getting up to leave the teleport room.
“Just temporarily misplaced,” Vila mused. “Did you know it's Servalan's birthday today?”
“I should have left you as a gift, then,” Avon's voice drifted back.