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"I don't get it."
And she really was confused -- he could see it in her eyes. Laurel Gainsworth was most definitely the most beautiful girl at camp. Long auburn hair, creamy skin, golden eyes. Daughter of Aphrodite. Three years his senior. Briefly, Nico wondered if Laurel's mother would kill him for this.
"I'm ..." Nico had never been fantastic with words. "I'm sorry, Laurel. Honestly -- you're the kindest, prettiest girl at this camp. I promise."
Was that what she wanted to hear?
"Then why?" she asked. Apparently not.
"Mmhumuness," he mumbled, eyes cast toward Long Island Bay, tracing the shapes of the naiads in the water.
"Hmm?" she questioned with a pout.
"I said," he declared loudly, trying to mask the heat rising to his cheeks, "there's some one else."
She didn't respond.
"Look, Laur," he pleaded, a hint of exasperation in his voice. "Really, I like being your friend, hanging out. You're the best girl I know."
"If I'm the best," she argued, "who's better?"
She had him.
"You --"
"Yeah?"
"Laurel, I --"
"You what, Nico?"
"I'm --"
"You're --"
"Goddamnit, Laurel, I'm gay!" He huffed, crossing his arms against his chest. His aviator jacket was getting small on his upper arms now, and was a bit too short as well. His shaggy black hair hung limply in his eyes, blocking the light of the dying sun. He chopped it off every once in a while, when it got too long and thick to bear. He shook his head to get it out of his face.
"Nico, I --"
"It's fine," he told her, but it wasn't. She'll have gotten the gossip round camp by dinner. Gods, how had he gotten himself into this mess?
"I'll see you later, okay?" He didn't wait for her response, shrugging off toward his always empty cabin.
It was going to be a long night.
"So you're gay, huh?"
Nico raised his gaze from his Dr. Pepper, shooting Butch a glare. "Fuck off."
"And I hear you got your sights out for someone in particular."
"For Christ's sake, man, you're dating a fucking tree!"
"Tree nymph," Butch corrected. He leaned on Nico's tabletop, not sitting but still managing to attract the attention of the entire camp -- polite enough to mumble incoherent noises to sound like they were talking, but nosy enough to stare at every bite he took.
"The girls in my cabin threw a fit," Butch offered, stealing some of Nico's fries. "Everyone's pretty pissed off you're playing for the other team."
"Gee," Nico said drily. "How great."
Butch made himself busy finishing off Nico's drink. "So, who's the special someone?"
"Shut up, Butch."
"Gonna invite him down to meet daddy dearest?"
"Shut up, Butch."
Snorting, Butch replaced Nico's chalice and sauntered off. "Have fun being anally penetrated," he calls, just loud enough for the nearest tables to hear him and begin their furtive whispering.
Nico downed the rest of his drink and stormed back to Cabin Thirteen.
"So I hear you're down for dick."
With a grunt, Nico dropped his jacket in the middle of the floor. "Get out of my bed, Valdez."
Smirking, Leo sat up. "Nah, I kinda like it here. Must be nice, having a cabin all to yourself."
"Not as nice as you'd think," Nico admitted.
"I disagree," Leo argued. "Got plenty of extra room for -- whatever you keep in here." Leo opened the trunk beside Nico's bed. Nico almost told him to stop, before remembering it was only Leo.
"Ah," Leo sighed, bringing out a bottle. "Whiskey." He sniffed it with raised eyebrows. "What d'you say, di Angelo?"
"Huh?" Nico asked absentmindedly, too caught up with the person on his bed, touching his sheets, hands on his pillow.
"Wanna get hammered tonight?"
After a moment's hesitation, Nico caught the mischievous glint in Leo's eyes and decided there was nothing he would rather do.
"Let's go," he said, picking up his jacket and exiting swiftly.
Leo watched him for half a second before his face split with a grin and he got up to follow. "Aye aye, captain."
"And it doesn't burn at all?"
They sat atop Zeus' Fist, kneeling on the rocks. He saw Leo's elfish smirk behind the amber flames, but Nico couldn't hide his curiosity. "Not at all." As he spoke, the fire flickered and swayed with the words.
"Beautiful," Nico whispered, centimeters away from Leo's palm, his breath heightening the flames.
"Hmm?" Leo mumbled, almost nonchalantly -- but Nico could see the grin on his face, staring straight into his eyes and unable to look away.
"I -- nothing," he mumbled, entranced by the reflection of the flames in Leo's brown eyes.
"Ready for this?" Before Nico could say yes or no or what?, Leo poured the remaining whiskey -- about a fifth of the bottle -- into his palm, and the flames erupted into Nico's face, yellow and orange surrounding him. He jumped off the rock, sliding down to the one below it, losing his balance for a minute and almost falling off completely.
"What the fuck, dude?" he growled, climbing swiftly back to the top where Leo gave him a sheepish smile.
"Relax," Leo said with a chuckle. "It doesn't burn you when I don't want it to."
"Hmph," Nico grunted, though looking rather pleased.
"So how's it going?" Leo asked. Nico gave him a quizzical look. "You know, the whole gay thing. I swear to god, the entire female population of Camp Half Blood is slitting their wrists as we speak because they no longer have a chance with you."
"Ugh," Nico groaned, lying back on the rocks. "Don't remind me."
"Should've seen Laurel, all shaken up. She felt like shit, but it didn't stop her from telling everyone who crossed her path that you were a raging homosexual."
"Swell," he replied, noting absently that Leo's breath smelt like whiskey, and it left him reeling.
"She told everyone you've got a boyfriend."
"What?" Nico yelped, sitting straight up.
"So it's not true," Leo said hastily. "You don't have one."
"Why would she -- ugh," he responded, mussing up his hair with his hands.
"So … you do?"
He shook his head vehemently.
"So … you don't."
He nodded.
"Good. I mean, always good to keep your options open, right?"
'Course that's what he meant. "Right," Nico muttered, embarrassed, his face an unflattering shade of red.
A pause. Then: "Well, I gotta go. Head counselor, you know, gotta turn the light out sometime." Nico seemed unable to meet his eye. "Night, man."
"Night."
There's some one waiting for him by his empty table at breakfast, hovering by the only place setting there is. With a confused sigh, Nico plops down on the bench and tells the chalice to give him some coffee.
"Fuck you," Austin Anguard says from beside him.
Slowly, Nico raises his gaze to the camper before him. The bright orange shirt he wears is much too bright for this early in the morning, especially with the splitting headache Nico's got going on. "Not the time, Anguard."
"No, really," the boy says matter-of-factly, "fuck you. I can't fucking believe this right now. Where's Aphrodite when you need her?"
Nico chokes on his coffee, the hot liquid spilling down his chin and onto his shirt. "What?"
Rolling his eyes, Austin takes a strip of bacon from his plate. "Calm down, idiot. I'm not talking about you."
"Right," Nico mumbles, wiping down his shirt with a napkin. "Why would I ever think that?"
Austin snorts. "What I mean," he explains, "is that you don't just turn down a girl like Laurel Gainsworth." Surprised, Nico glances up to see the boy's bright red face, lowering his voice. "I don't give a shit if you're gay or asexual or whatever. Laurel Gainsworth is an angel sent down from the heavens by Aphrodite, sent to Camp Half-Blood to worship, and you're an idiot to turn her down, even if you're not into girls."
Dumbfounded, it takes Nico a moment to reply. "Maybe you should tell her that," he says at last, not sure why Austin is taking his frustration out on him.
"Right," Austin chuckles without amusement. "Whatever. See you around, Nico."
"Yeah," he replies, still confused. He glances toward the Aphrodite table, where Laurel sits laughing (too loudly for his sensitive headache) with her siblings. When she catches his eye, she smiles -- platonically, he thinks -- before returning to her conversation. He sighs. "See you around, Anguard."
"He's so hot -- ugh, what a travesty!" That was Miranda Gardiner's voice.
"It's tragedy, not travesty, dumbass." Kayla Ikeman.
"Travesty and tragedy are two separate words, dumbass."
"Not talking about me again, are you, ladies?" Leo saunters up to the pack of campers in the arena.
"Calm down, Leo," Kayla chides. "We were talking about Ni -- Nico!" He watches the tips of her ears go pink. "Hey. Didn't see you there."
He grumbles in response. "Don't mind Nico, here," Leo says, putting an arm around the younger boy's shoulder. "He's a bit hung over." The girls giggle as Nico makes himself comfortable on the sidelines while Leo and a few others pick up weapons and begin to practice. Miranda pairs with Butch, Lou Ellen Carlisle with Kayla, and Leo with a son of Athena -- Malcolm St. James.
"Now, Lou," Kayla warns while they all get into a fighting stance, "I don't want any funny business here, with your bendy swords and invisible shields and all that."
"I'm clean," Lou Ellen argues, pulling on her sleeves for effect.
Metal rings against metal. Dust is blown up. Practice has begun. Nico leans his head back on the stone, closing his eyes and resting for a bit. He'd rather be catching up on sleep in his bunk, but he's antisocial enough as it is and doesn't want to skip all of his activities. He listens to the sounds of swordfight, smiling when he remembers that that was all it is -- he would never get used to the idea of fighting just for practice, not in preparation for a war where humanity was at stake. He hears Malcolm laughing and Leo cursing an extreme amount of times -- he'd never been so good at combat. Groggily, he lifts his head to find Leo picking up his sword from where it had clattered away for the zillionth time. They make eye contact for a brief second -- so brief, Nico almost would have thought Leo hadn't seen him if it weren't for the mischievous smirk on his sweaty face.
"Getting a bit hot out," he says, almost to himself, though the sly tone tells Nico he knows he's watching. Slowly, tantalizingly, he lowered his hands and pulled the fabric of his shirt up.
And then it was off. Gone. That was it, he just didn't have a shirt on. Nico wanted to simultaneously jack off and blow his brains out with a revolver. "Fuck this shit," he growled, getting up and storming off toward the strawberry fields.
"Where you going, Nico?" Leo called after him, laughter contaminating his voice. Nico stuck up his middle finger behind him and stalked off.
"Nico," he sang. Nico groaned.
The night was chilly, but he had shrugged off his aviator jacket all the same, crumpled on the grass. Leo stood at the base of Zeus' fist, gazing up at him with his signature smirk. His dark hair was tangled in his eyelashes, making him look laughably innocent. His lanky body helped him scale the rocks easily, up to where Nico lounged, content to watch Leo's dark eyes spontaneously meeting his all night.
"Here to relive last night's escapades?" Leo asked, climbing up to join him.
"Shut up, Valdez," Nico snapped, even as his ears grew hot and his cheeks grew red.
"I've got a better way to do that," Leo admitted, producing a bottle of gin.
Nico's mouth was agape. "You broke into my cabin?"
Leo chuckled. "You sound surprised."
With a disgruntled sound of protest that didn't really mean much at all, Nico snatched the bottle from him, downing a large gulp and leaning back on his elbows, his back to Leo.
"It's nice to just be regular kids, huh?" Leo mused. "Getting drunk in the woods at night."
"Regular mutant demigod freak kids," Nico corrected. Leo chuckled.
"Right, that. But at least we don't have to, you know, save the world anymore."
"I don't know," Nico argued, "it was kind of worth it, for that sense of excitement, the feeling that what you're doing actually matters."
Leo paused for a moment, scooting close to Nico, who fell back even further on his elbows.
"Trust me," Leo told him, "what you do is important." It sounded half-assed, even to Nico, but he smiled at the effort anyway.
"Whatever," Nico relented. "I just -- yeah, sure."
"And as for the sense of excitement," Leo added, almost an afterthought, "I'm sure you can find that somewhere."
"I know," Nico agreed half-heartedly. "It was just energizing, the rush of adrenaline when you're doing something dangerous, something you know you shouldn't do but it's so exciting it's impossible to --"
Nico paused as he felt a warm pressure right below his ear. He sucked in a deep breath and didn't let it out. "Shh," Leo purred against the skin of his neck. The word sent a harsh shiver down his spine, and he would have convulsed if he wasn't frozen in place. Leo's lips traveled down to his collarbone, sucking and biting. He hit a sweet spot and Nico gasped, giving Leo the opportunity to skirt around him, warming him with his ridiculously warm body heat, and sit on his lap, face to face.
"Still gay?" Leo asked, his lips ghosting Nico's neck.
"Definitely," he replied. Leo laughed against his skin and he involuntarily moaned, prompting Leo to continue suckling at the sensitive spot right above his collarbone. "Fuck, Valdez," Nico gasped, letting his hands fist in his shirt. Under half-lidded eyes clouded with lust, he watched as Leo marked him as his own, his own face flushing with Leo's heat.
"I love your voice," the older boy growled against his chest, the words reverberating through him. Then, almost shyly, before continuing his biting: "Say my name, would you?"
If he hadn't been so strained, he would have chuckled, but as it was he could only let out a desperate sigh. "Leo," he mumbled, sheepish. "Leo." The name have him confidence, and he began to raise his voice. "Gods, Leo -- mmm," he hummed contentedly. When he hit a pressure point, almost at his left shoulder, Nico cried out. "Leo, please, I -- oh!"
Leo sighed against his steaming skin. "You can stop with the talking now."
Nico mumbled something like okay as Leo trailed his lips up his shoulder, his neck, finally landing under the opposite ear that he'd first kissed, before rolling onto his back, both breathing heavily.
"No," Nico mumbled in protest, reaching out. One of his arms found Leo's chest and laid there as their breathing steadied. Once he'd caught his breath, he flung out his other arm, swinging wildly in the dark until he hit glass, bring the bottle up to his lips and finishing off the gin.
"Didn't save me any?" Leo asked breathily.
"Afraid not," Nico replied, letting a silly grin sit on his face.
"S'alright," Leo answered, finally standing up and brushing himself off. "I better make sure everyone's asleep and all. I turned out the lights, but it can get pretty out of hand in Cabin Nine."
"Right," Nico said, getting up as well. "I'm gonna head back too." He watched Leo slink away, throwing one last smirk over his shoulder, and, chuckling, made his way back to Cabin Thirteen.
Things were tense the next morning, at least for Nico.
He'd come to breakfast late, right as Chiron finished reminding everyone about Capture the Flag tonight, so the whole pavilion was silent when he walked in. The centaur gave him a disapproving look -- assumably for his lateness -- as he sat down, all eyes on him.
It was right about then that the Aphrodite cabin started giggling like mad. Even Laurel had to hide her mouth behind her hand. Nico gave her a quizzical look, and though she was laughing too hard to respond, one of the guys, Mitchell David, pointed to his neck, prompting Nico to look down at his own.
"Shit," he swore, popping the collar of his aviator to attempt some coverage of the swollen bruise taking up most of the left half of his neck. "Shit, shit, shit."
Some one cleared his throat, and he looked up to find Butch smirking at him. "Isn't the morning after sex just great?"
"What the fuck, Butch," Nico huffed indignantly. "I didn't have sex last night!"
Butch snorted. "No, you idiot. I did."
Nico stared up at him, appalled. "With a tree?"
"A tree nymph, goddamnit," he cried, stalking back to his table.
Nico was about to laugh at him, before realizing something. He'd never even properly kissed Leo. He balled his fists and stared down at his plate, suddenly no longer hungry. "Coffee, please," he said to his chalice, watching it promptly fill up with the dark liquid. "Thanks," he mumbled, though he doubted it had feelings. He downed the whole thing in one go.
"Alright, everyone. Teams!"
The slight echo in the dining pavilion had its desired effect, making sure the whole camp could hear Malcolm's determined announcement. Lunch was winding down, but he'd stood before anyone had the chance to leave, including Nico. "We want Apollo, Hephaestus --"
"Hey!" Mark Duffy stood from the Ares table. We want Hermes, we'll take Aprhro -- alright, Hypnos, if you'll quit your whining you can come with us too."
"We aren't done," Malcolm argued. "We want Iris, Hecate; we'll take Demeter too, and, okay, Tyche. That leaves you with --"
"That leaves us with," Mark said loudly over him, "Nemesis, Nike, and Hebe. Fair game, alright."
From the other end of the pavilion came a shout. "What about Nico?"
He wanted to strangle everyone.
"You can have him!" Came a shout from the Hephaestus table, and though the voice was muffled, Nico's hands balled into fists when he realized who it had been.
"What was that for, Leo?" Came the indignant shriek of Nyssa. "Nico's a beast at Capture the Flag!"
"So, it's settled," grinned Mark. "Red team, get pumped!" He hooted with his siblings while the camp filed out of the pavilion.
If there was anything Nico wasn't, it was pumped.
Nico kept watch by the creek; he knew Leo would never pass up offense, even if he couldn't do shit with a sword. His ego would never settle for defense. And, of course, he was right.
"Hey, Nico," he said, sauntering out of the woods and into Nico's clearing.
"Don't even think about it," Nico growled.
Leo had the balls to laugh. "You know, for someone who hates Capture the Flag, the Ares cabin, and organized sports in general," he drawled, "it's kind of curious to see you so competitive tonight."
He was almost at the creek now. "Valdez, I swear, if you think you're going to seduce your way past me, you've got another thing coming."
Unfortunately, Leo only laughed. "Hmm," he said, pretending to be confused. "So you don't want me seducing you? 'Cause after last night --"
Out of the corner of his eye, Nico saw two kids of Ares run through the forest, across the creek. He's here to distract me. Quick as lightening, he stomped his foot and watched as the campers were swallowed by the earth.
He almost laughed at the expression on Leo's face. "Relax," he said calmly, "it's just some forced Shadow Travel. They're back in your territory, somewhere by your flag. They're not dead or anything."
Finally cracking a smile, Leo wiped the sweat off his brow. "Kinda creepy, how you can do that."
"S'pose so," Nico answered, eyes still trained on his surroundings.
"Could you -- I dunno, show me sometime?" Nico snapped his eyes to the older boy to see a sheepish expression on his face, eyes concentrating on the water between them, a shy smile tugging a corner of his mouth (the right one) upwards.
"Yeah, I guess --"
Cheering came from the woods, and from the distance they saw kids cheering, the red plumes on their helmets dancing wildly as they jumped in triumph.
"Looks like we won," Nico remarked.
"For once," Leo said back.
"How come you didn't want me on your team?" Nico blurts, immediately embarrassed. He tugs at his breastplate, willing it to swallow him whole.
Nico glanced up to see Leo's customary smirk plastered upon his face.
"You're cute when you're angry," Leo quipped, sauntering back into the woods to find the rest of the Hephaestus cabin.
"Asshole," Nico called after him, grinning, and began the trek back to Cabin Thirteen.
"So, do you, uh," he began, stuttering a bit. "You know Austin Anguard?"
Laurel sat beside him on the steps of the dining pavilion, giggling. "Course I know Austin. Everyone does. He's like, the fifth hottest guy at camp."
Nico was a bit taken aback at her honesty with him, before realizing why. He was gay. He was now entitled to participate in girl-talk. He sighed, watching the sun rise in the sky.
"Yeah, that one," Nico continued. "He's, uh -- he's a bit obsessed with you."
"What?" Laurel squealed. "No, no he's not. I always thought he had it bad for Drew Tanaka, that awful bitch."
"She's your sister," Nico argued.
"Don't remind me," she lamented. "But really? How do you know?"
"He was all angry at me for uh, turning you down, you know? Said anyone with a brain should worship you or something, even if I was gay."
She giggled, blushing prettily in the night. "That's so sweet! I've got to go tell Mitchell." And she was off, before he had the chance to question whether the list of hottest guys in camp was a real thing, and where, out of curiosity, would Leo Valdez place.
Leo plopped down beside him, and it took Nico a few moments to pluck up the courage to mutter, "Hey."
The older boy sat, mesmerized, as the campfire flames turned from green to teal to cobalt blue. Usually, he spent campfires by the flames with his siblings, sticking his limbs in the fire, prompting it to change to a vibrant purple. Tonight, he was with Nico. "Guess what," he said finally, eyes still focused on the flickering light.
"What?" Nico asked.
"You never told me which guy you had the hots for."
Fuck.
"Probably Anguard -- I saw you talking to him at breakfast the other day. He's pretty hot. Or maybe Butch, if you're into that tough-but-cutesy vibe, y'know? You'd definitely have to be catcher, though. Nah, it isn't Butch. He's got that tree girlfriend of his."
"Tree nymph," Nico corrected.
Leo suppressed a mischievous grin. "Yeah, that. But who else could it be?" He coughed. "Gods, it isn't Percy or Jason or them, is it? Cause --"
"Ugh," Nico groaned. "Ew. No way."
Leo scooted closer, narrowing his eyes, leaning over into Nico's ears. His face was so near, Nico almost flinched. "I bet he looks like me, doesn't he? That's why you were so mad about me last night." He took a stray piece of dark hair from in front of Nico's ear and carded it back, making Nico shudder, and leaned in even closer. "What is it that reminded you of him, huh? The eyes? I bet he's taller than you, too. Was it the hair? The mouth?" He let his nose trace the shape of Nico's ear. "Did I kiss like he does?"
He was stunned, but managed to choke out a few words. "You didn't kiss me." His voice cracked on the didn't.
"Come again?" Leo hummed into his ear.
"You didn't kiss me," he repeated, louder.
Out of the blue, Leo took his forearm and yanked him up, dragging him down through an archway and pushing him up against the amphitheater's stone exterior. "I suppose I didn't," Leo said, face right in front of Nico's, their eyes locked.
And he kissed him hard.
His hands gripped at Nico's waist, scratching and bruising and turning him on insanely. Leo's skin was hot against his own, breathing into his mouth, is tongue wrapping Nico's in circles. Nico moaned into his mouth, reveling in the heat he brought him, the lust, the passion.
"So," Leo said, tugging his mouth away but toying with Nico's earlobe. "Do I kiss like he does?"
"No," Nico answered. He bit down hard on Leo's neck, and for once, Leo cried out, gripping the younger boy tighter, his breathing ragged. "Better." He decided he liked every single noise that came out of Leo's mouth, and continued to suck and nip at his neck until he started to moan something that sounded a lot like Nico.
When Nico reached Zeus' Fist that night, the black night shrouding the rocks with an eerie ambience, the son of Hephaestus was out cold.
He inspected Leo for a moment. It seemed he'd tried to reach the top with a can of warm beer in each hand (goddamnit, did he think he lived in Cabin Thirteen?) and had fallen halfway up the rocks. Besides a few scrapes, he looked pretty alright. Nico admired him, a moment where his face was calm and serene, before shaking his head and picking the older boy up. He didn't want the extra weight to make shadow travel inaccurate, so he began the trek to the infirmary.
"What happened?" asked Will Solace when he arrived, out of breath, dropping Leo harshly on the nearest bed.
"He fell," Nico wheezed, "off the rocks at Zeus' Fist. He was out when I got to him."
"What was he doing at Zeus' Fist?" Will questioned, eerily tugging open one of Leo's eyes and peering inside. Nico mumbled something incoherent. "Hmm?"
"I dunno," Nico replied, keeping his eyes on Leo.
Will gave him a suspicious look before returning to the patient at hand. "Well, he's gonna be fine. Not even a concussion, he'll just be out until the morning."
"D'you think …" Nico began, letting his voice trail off.
"Do I think what?"
"Do you think he'll be up before breakfast?" Will narrowed his eyes at him. "Just -- just wanna make sure he's alright."
Will nodded slowly. "Yeah. We'll see. Night, Nico."
He took that as his cue to leave. "Night, Solace."
"Morning, love. You're up early."
Even as he felt his cheeks grow pink at the name, Nico managed an embarrassed smile. "You look well rested."
"You'd be surprised what a good fall can do for you," Leo replied cheekily. "I tried to convince Solace to bandage my head up to score some pity points, but he wouldn't listen."
"Shame," Nico laughed. He gazed for a moment at Leo's peaceful face, and then -- fuck it. He kissed him. Soft, right on his red lips. Slow and short. When he pulled away, Leo leaned into him, silently asking for more, but Nico let out a deep breath and stood back up.
"Seems like you're okay," he observed as Leo humphed. "I better get going. See you later, Valdez."
"See you," Leo said with a pout that left Nico smirking. He looked over his shoulder as he left.
"And Leo?"
"Yeah?"
"Your eyebrows are on fire."
Leo groaned. "Fuck."
"Dude, you're my new best friend."
Nico regarded the son of Apollo warily, lowering his bow from the intended target. "Asked Laurel out, did you?"
Austin grinned, abashed. "She asked me out, anyway. She said you talked to her at the campfire last night." Nico bit his lip at the though of last night, but Austin didn't notice. "Thanks, man. I owe you one."
"Don't worry about it," Nico called as Austin strode away, towards the strawberry fields. He picked up his bow, closed one eye, and aimed.
"One more thing," Austin called over his shoulder.
"Yeah?" Nico didn't move.
"Someone from the Hephaestus cabin said some one told them to tell you to go to the same place you went before. Said it would be fun. Mean anything to you?"
Nico's arrow went flying into the woods, missing the target by over a foot.
"Thanks, Anguard," he huffed, stringing another arrow. It pierced the target dead-on.
"I can't do this anymore."
It just slips out. He says it so quietly he can barely hear himself, but it's a still, silent night and the words surround them both. For a blissful moment, Nico thinks he didn't hear it. Then he makes the mistake of glancing up at Leo's ashen face.
"I'm --" he begins, clearing his throat. "I'm not so good with people and feelings and stuff. But, I dunno, I thought what we have going on here is pretty great."
Nico doesn't think to hesitate. "It is."
"Pretty special," Leo says, his voice cracking, shattering his composure. His brown eyes, golden in the moonlight, are broken. Betrayed.
Nico gulps. "Pretty special. Yeah. I know it is."
"Then why --"
"Just ..." Nico sighs, looking down at his hands, his aviator jacket by Leo's feet. It's as if his fire had gone out; suddenly the night was colder than it had ever been. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Nico had gone through too much shit to take this sitting down. "It just really, really kills."
"What?" Leo was confused, but still hurt, still cold.
No boundaries. Nico let it fly.
"It kills, knowing when I'm with you I'll never really be with you. It kills knowing that your thoughts are on me when we're together, but my thoughts are on you every waking moment of the day. It kills that I could have suffered in silence and tried to forget you if it weren't for stupid Laurel Gainsworth, and I wouldn't have to deal with the need I have now, the insufferable feeling of wanting you close always." He took in a deep breath, looking up at the stars -- if he squinted at the Huntress constellation, he could almost pretend it was Bianca, egging him on. "I'm done with the hurt, with the unrequited feelings, the being your plaything. I just can't do it anymore."
It was right about then that Leo Valdez choked back a sob.
A small sob, of course, really nothing. He wasn't even crying, not really. He was choked up, and it maneuvered its way out of his throat, leaving him breathing room, though breathing seemed impossible at the moment.
"When I heard that you told Laurel there was some one else, I somehow got it into my head that it could be me."
This morning, Nico would have been stunned at hearing his own truth, but now he just shook his head. "That's the problem," he said, desperately trying to get his point across. "It was you. It is you. You've got this funny way of twisting around every emotion I have, and usually it's pretty brilliant, but it just kills to be able to make out with you and not be able to, I dunno, dance with you or stare at you or whatever I would do if you were mine."
When Nico finally looks up, Leo has made an astonishing recovery. The hurt in his eyes has been replaced with confidence. His shaky heads are balled into fists. He slowly makes his way over to Nico, kneeling directly in front of him.
"I get it," he states proudly, as if it solves all their problems.
"Okay ..."
"No, no. I really do. The reason you're hurt is because I'm only in it for the hook ups, not the feelings and emotion and shit. Right?"
Nico visibly winced. "Right."
Leo wanted to laugh. "But the thing is, I'm not. I'm in it for the relationshippy stuff too. I'm in it for the long haul, Nico."
"You don't have to --" Nico begins, but he's cut short.
"This isn't a pity thing, okay? I want you, Nico." Leo grabbed his hand, swaying in the clear night. "And I don't just want your lips or your dick or anything, either. I want your heart and your soul and your everything."
With all the courage he had left (not much), Leo heaved in a deep breath. "Is that okay with you?"
After a moment's stunned thought, Nico's face exploded into a grin. "Well, if you're begging me ..." Laughing freely, Leo punched him in the arm, knocking him against the stone before laying down on top of him. "Oh, and one more thing, Valdez."
"Hmm?" Leo replied, content to hear the vibrations of Nico's voice under his head forever.
"Your eyebrows are on fire."
"Again?"
"Again."
"Fuck."