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The night after Sayaka disappeared, the sky was clear and bright, the stars drowned out by the lights of the city. But the next night, rain came down like ribbons. Mami knew all about ribbons, though, and she knew all about demons, and she knew that rain coming down like ribbons wouldn't stop them. So she squashed her discomfort and all her usual feelings, and she ran out into the rain to fight.
That was normal. That was just how her days were, and her nights as well. She fought down her fears and her miseries, and she kept a serene face, and she fought demons. Taking Sayaka under her wing as her junior had dented that only briefly, but now that she was gone everything would return to normal. Kyouko would run off once again. Homura would continue to keep to herself, gazing off into the distance and murmuring names no one remembered. As for Mami, she would keep fighting alone.
That was what Mami was thinking when she jumped off the railing with her magically-generated umbrella in hand, landed in front of her apartment door, and nearly tripped over the soaking wet bundle lying in front of the door.
"Nnhh," said the huddled mass of wet hair and clothes into the rain. "Don't wanna get out of the shower yet, Mama. D-don't..." Her teeth chattered.
Mami felt her cheeks go hot. Why was Kyouko lying in front of her apartment?
No answer to her unspoken question was forthcoming, but after a moment, Kyouko sat up and rubbed rainwater out of her eyes. "Hey," she said. "Are you gonna keep me out here all night? That's seriously rude!"
Mami had to keep looking calm, even though an angry lump was forming in her throat. How could Kyouko get in her way like this? She'd been planning on locking herself in her apartment, drawing the blinds, and crying alone in the dark until she fell asleep. Now that safe plan for the rest of the night was ruined, because she had to deal with Kyouko. But she still had to keep looking calm, and sounding calm as well. She gave a fixed little smile. "Miss Sakura, has no one told you? Girls who show up unannounced at others' doors are not trustworthy sources on the finer points of etiquette."
"Don't call me untrustworthy," Kyouko snapped, suddenly glaring. "Let me inside, will you?"
Mami couldn't help but frown a little. Kyouko wouldn't be able to fight if she got sick, and then how would she recharge her Soul Gem? Before she could stop herself from thinking about it, she envisioned Kyouko disappearing too, leaving her with only Homura at her side, Homura who would drift further and further away into her strange world and finally disappear as well--
"Hey, Mami," Kyouko said. "Your umbrella's good but your shoes are getting wet anyway. Let's go inside."
Mami swallowed hard, unlocked the door, and stepped inside, letting the umbrella unravel in her hand. Her flawless magical girl outfit vanished, leaving only normal clothes in its wake. She turned and beckoned. "Come in, Miss Sakura. I see I must be a gracious host tonight."
Kyouko stepped in after her, dripping prodigiously on the floor. "Don't say things like 'must,'" she muttered, staring down at the same floor she dripped on. "You were always gracious, all the time, back when we--well, you know." The mutter had become a mumble by the end.
"Why are you here?" Mami finally said.
"I don't have anywhere else to go," Kyouko said.
"Nonsense. You stay in hotels. Did you think I hadn't figured out how you operate by now? Miss Sakura." Mami tried to keep her cheeks from burning as she realized what she'd just admitted: that she still cared. That she still learned what she could about Kyouko and how she lived. How could she have let that slip? She was normally so good at keeping those things to herself. It must have been something about watching drops of water roll slowly off Kyouko's nose and drip to the floor.
"Yeah..." Kyouko glanced away. She didn't seem to have picked up on the subtext. "I stay in the fanciest hotels. With money that isn't mine. I got tired of that, though, so I'm gonna hang out here for a while. I'd offer to sleep on the floor but you've got a couch, so it's no big deal. Why are you even complaining?"
"Will you also clean up the mess you're making on my floor?" Mami gave her another fixed smile.
"What's the problem?" Kyouko frowned. "It's just water."
Mami sighed, still smiling.
"You're still such a loser," Kyouko said, but her voice drifted close to a mumble again and her cheeks had gotten bright.
"And you're lying," Mami said. "You've been content to be a rogue of a magical girl for a year now. Why change what works?"
"No reason. Yeah, there's no reason..." Yes, she was definitely mumbling.
Mami smiled again. "Please take off your jacket and shoes, Miss Sakura. You should have the decency to observe proper rules of hospitality when lying to your host."
Without another word, Kyouko angrily kicked her shoes off against the wall and sullenly yanked her coat off onto the floor.
"Are you too damp to enjoy some cake?" Mami inquired.
"Don't be stupid! I'll eat all your cake no matter how damp I am!"
"Oh, of course," Mami said. "I apologize very much for doubting you, Miss Sakura. Let me just go fetch it from the kitchen."
The gestures of cutting and serving the cake--one slice for herself, two for Kyouko, with a third cut and hidden in the cabinet so that she could later tempt Kyouko to stay past when she'd intended to leave--sprang back to Mami's hands so easily she almost started to cry even though she wasn't alone in the apartment. It would have been so easy to forget all the time that had passed and simply pretend that she and Kyouko were still friends and partners. But had they ever been? Maybe she'd just imagined it. That was what she had told herself many times this past year, while fighting alone.
She left the kitchen and set the plates down on the table, one for herself and one in front of Kyouko, who now sat quietly with her hair still dripping.
"It's lemon cake," Mami said. "Please enjoy."
"How can I eat something this pretty?" Kyouko demanded, glowering. "It's got little yellow ribbons of icing on it, and--hey, this is half a sugar rose! You already cut a beautiful sugar rose in two! That's wrong! Food shouldn't be this pretty!" Even as she protested, she was digging in with the fork and shoveling it into her mouth.
"You never had a problem eating it before," Mami said. "I very much doubt you've gone soft."
That had to be rainwater still clinging to Kyouko's eyelashes. It couldn't be tears filling her eyes. "I haven't gone soft! But--this cake is elegant like you, Mami! It's not right for someone like me!"
Mami blinked, uncertain of how to follow that outburst.
Kyouko took a deep breath. Then she paused and hurriedly finished the rest of the cake while Mami watched in vague confusion. "Listen," she finally said. "I lied when I said I just got tired of staying in hotels."
"I see," Mami said, as if it were a surprise.
"It's wrong," Kyouko said. "It's wrong to steal people's money and use it for yourself. That's not what a magical girl should do--she should fight honorably and live her life with justice. I...I gave up on that for a while. I decided it was pointless and stupid. But..." She bit her lip, then paused to lick icing off it. "Sayaka's gone, but being her friend reminded me that it's not so pointless and stupid. There's no way to bring her back, but I'm going to keep her memory alive and live like a magical girl should from now on. And that means...no hotel rooms paid for with stolen money."
Mami's heart sank.
"If you don't want me getting the couch wet I really will sleep on the floor," Kyouko continued.
Mami looked down at her own slice of cake. She slowly stuck her fork into it and lifted a piece to her mouth. Of course Kyouko hadn't come back because she missed someone like Mami. She just needed a place to stay, that was all. "It's fine if you get the couch wet, Miss Sakura."
"Stop it," Kyouko said abruptly.
"What do you mean?" Mami said, looking up again.
"Stop calling me that," Kyouko said. "Let's just be Kyouko and Mami again. I'm sorry I ran away from you before, Mami. That wasn't a thing that a proper magical girl should do, either. I was a coward. That's all."
Mami stared at her. "Goodness, this is quite a jump, Miss Sakura." The lump was in her throat again. "To go from 'I need a place to stay so I can keep honoring Miss Miki's memory' to 'I want to be together with my senior again.' I'm afraid I can't quite get behind that leap in logic." She reached for Kyouko's forehead. "You should sleep. You're clearly getting sick." She was, at that--Kyouko's face was hot to the touch, her cheeks flushed. "I'm going to bring the plates back to the kitchen. Why don't you dry off and get ready for sleep? There are towels in the washroom. You know where it is." Before the lump in her throat could get any bigger, she stood up, took the plates, and headed back to the kitchen.
Even in the kitchen, as she put the plates down with shaking hands, thoughts jumbled angrily together in her brain. 'I was a coward. That's all--'
"I'm more of a coward," Mami whispered. "I'm so much more of a coward than you! Someday a demon will get me, or my Soul Gem will run out of power and I'll disappear. I can't stop thinking about that, even though it's no more than what I deserve for making such a selfish wish. So, we can't just be Mami and Kyouko again, or ever. Because 'Mami' is a terrible person! An absolutely terrible person!"
The lump in her throat burst like a bubble, and Mami finally started crying quietly, there in the kitchen. She thought about how she needed to stop crying to go check on Kyouko, and she cried harder and harder.
"Mami...?"
Horrified realization stabbed like little shards of ice into Mami's gut. Kyouko was here. She could see the tears. "I told you to get ready to sleep!"
Kyouko squinted at her. "You're crying."
"Very astute, Miss Sakura!"
"I'm not astute," she said. "I'm not anything like that, but I seriously don't want to see you cry, okay?" She was clinging to a fluffy towel, which she now unwrapped from her body as she approached Mami.
"Well, get used to it," Mami said, glaring now. "Because the smiling senior who guided you through learning how to fight demons as a magical girl? She's a lie! She's far more of a coward than you are!"
"I know," Kyouko said.
Mami started sobbing harder.
"I know," Kyouko repeated. "You've been watching me all this time, haven't you? Because you were lonely. I'm angry at myself for leaving you alone like that, but all I can do is be here for you now." She reached up and patted Mami's face with the towel. "I'm not tired, so let's sit together for a while before sleeping, Mami." She reached out, squeezed her fingers tightly around Mami's hand, and led her out of the kitchen to sit them both down on the couch.
When Mami sat down next to Kyouko on the couch, there were no more tears. She thought it might be because she was empty. She was so empty she couldn't even think of any words to say for a long time. Finally, she asked, "Are you really not sick, Kyouko?"
"Nope," Kyouko said. "I'm fine. Magical girls busy being heroes and fighting demons don't get sick. The demons are gone for the night, I think, but I still have to be a hero for you. So I won't get sick."
Mami felt a little dizzy at those words, as if she were getting sick. She rubbed quickly at her face to hide anything it might show.
"You were out in the rain for a long time tonight," Kyouko said. "But your hair's still perfect." She reached out and tugged at a curl. "You're really good at pretending to be perfect."
Mami rubbed more furiously at her face. "And you're really bad at it!" she found herself blurting out.
"Heh," Kyouko said with an awkward grin. "I guess I really shouldn't have left you! 'Cause don't we make a good pair that way?"
Mami couldn't answer a tempting question like that. Instead, she pushed Kyouko's hand away from her hair. "Instead of fawning over my hair, look at yours! It's going to be full of tangles in the morning if you don't undo the knots now. That's what happens when you fall asleep on a porch in the rain."
"I'll just hack at it with a comb until they all come out," Kyouko said, shrugging. "I've never been good at taking care of my own hair. I...I brushed my sister's for her, but--" Her gaze fell.
"I'm sorry," Mami said.
"Don't make stupid apologies," Kyouko muttered. "It's not your fault at all. It's--"
"I'm sorry," Mami repeated. "This will hurt." And she grabbed a tangled bit of hair and firmly yanked the strands apart.
Kyouko yelped. "You monster! You awful jerk!"
"That was the worst one," Mami explained. "The rest I can untangle more gently." And she began to slowly run her fingers through Kyouko's hair.
After a while, she noticed that Kyouko's face was red again. Was she really getting sick after all? Mami decided she wouldn't mind that so much. If Kyouko got sick, Mami would be able to keep her here for a while, feeding her soup and tucking her into bed. She really was a terribly selfish mentor after all.
Her hands were starting to slip on Kyouko's hair. Fine motor control was getting harder. It had been a long night, after all. She found her head bowing slightly forward.
The last thought that occurred to Mami, before sleep ambushed her, was that Kyouko's shoulder was just the right shape to rest her head.
"Ugh," Kyouko said. "You're being almost as stupid as me..." She put her arms around Mami's shoulders and held her close. "Your perfect hair. It's gonna get wet."
Mami breathed in and out quietly, undisturbed by Kyouko's reproach. She slept peacefully even in that awkward position.
Kyouko sighed. "Okay," she said. "I'll brush it for you in the morning."