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Hunk says something, and Lance laughs, throwing his head back. Keith closes his eyes. The sound bubbles with happiness and confidence, and Keith lets it wash over him. He wants to feel that sound in Lance’s chest, too. He wants to be pressed up against it.
Keith smiles softly, sadly, because it’s funny, isn’t it? It’s funny he cares so goddamn much, the emotion shouldn’t fit inside him. It’s funny because the only other thing it can be is depressing.
Keith opens his eyes and watches the light move on Lance’s skin, lingers over shadows defining his sharp lines. He watches Lance’s soft lips move. He wishes they were on his.
He used to be so angry about this. He used to curse Lance’s existence, and spent hours in the training room trying to beat his feelings out. But nothing is that easy, so Keith has accepted that he loves Lance more than he loves himself.
“Hey, Mullet!” he calls, and Keith perks up immediately.
“Yeah?”
“C’mere. I want to ask you something.”
Hunk watches Keith knowingly from Lance’s side. Hunk may have helped Keith accept his feelings, but that doesn’t keep Keith from cursing that look. It’s a look he’s been getting often, since he told the others. It’s the, ‘If you’re that in love, just tell him!’ look. Keith glares at Hunk, and makes the hopeful journey across the hall.
Lance cocks his hip, smiling brightly. There’s a challenge in his eyes. There always is, with Lance. Keith loves it.
“Do you have an awesome present for me yet?”
Keith tilts his head to the side, confused, “What?”
Lance looks at him with one eyebrow raised, “Uh, presents?”
This does not explain anything.
Lance groans, his mouth making an exaggerated dropping motion that shouldn’t be hot. “For Christmas, Keith.”
“Oh,” says Keith, frowning. Christmas. Right. “That’s, uh, a thing.”
Lance raises an eyebrow and cocksure his hip further, “What? Nothing’s wrong with Christmas, right?”
“No, no,” Keith glances at Hunk for help.
“I mean, if you don’t celebrate, that’s cool,” Hunk says, tilting his head forwards. Lance nods.
Not the help he was looking for.
“I, uh, don’t really celebrate anything?” Keith says, not sure what to expect.
Lance’s eyes go wide, and Keith tries not to notice what a gorgeous blue they are, “What? How? Even atheists celebrate Christmas! Even my neighbors celebrated Christmas! Scrooge eventually celebrated Christmas! Are you pre-ghost Scrooge?”
Keith shrugs, “I never got anything good.”
It was true. His foster families never knew what to get him, so they got things they thought he wanted, or that they wanted. It was partially his fault, because he never made a list, but no one ever bothered to ask him.
Lance gasps, deeply offended, “Christmas,” he takes a step closer, “Is not about presents. It’s about family! And happiness!”
Hunk’s brow is furrowed in confusion, his eyes are curious.
Keith bites his bottom lip. He hasn’t told the other paladins about being an orphan, and he’s starting to regret it.
“Christmas is-” Lance takes a breath, “It’s what I miss most from home.”
The last word is a hoarse whisper, and Keith has no idea what to do with this information. Should he try to comfort Lance? God knows that won’t end well; Keith is terrible at comforting people.
“Is that really why you don't like Christmas? because that's kind of an asshole reason.” Lance says, recovering quickly.
A silence. He and Hunk are waiting for an answer.
Keith looks away, lets their stares bore into him, before he says, “Christmas is about family, right?”
“And happiness,” Lance says quietly, but nods anyway. Hunk looks at Keith like he’s going to get the last piece of a very hard puzzle.
“Well, I’m an orphan.”
Oh, too blunt. Hunk’s face instantly morphs into empathy. Lance freezes, then skepticism melts into something soft that makes Keith’s heart skip.
Keith licks his lips before saying, “I don’t like Christmas because I was always an outsider mimicking whatever my foster family did.”
The two of them are looking at him as if they’re going to cry. Keith looks away quickly, feeling guilty.
“It’s no big deal, guys. My parents died ages ago. I don’t miss them.”
This isn’t completely a lie. How can you miss something you never had? (Although, after he was kicked out of school, he wished for a Mom to hug him and tell him everything would be ok.)
Suddenly, he feels something warm and slightly soft pressed against him. Lance. Lance is hugging him.
“Oh,” Keith says softly, and grins. He wraps his arms around Lance’s bony form and bathes in his warmth.
Hunk winks at Keith and says, “I’ll start the dinner.”
“God, he's bad at lying,” Keith thinks, and rests his head on Lance’s shoulder. Lance smells like the ocean and lavender, and Keith’s never been more at home. He’s pretty sure that even if the Galra attacked, he wouldn’t let go.
“It must have been hard,” Lance’s voice is quiet, gentle, and sad. Keith leans in close, pressing his head to Lance’s so he can feel the vibrations.
Keith sighs, and thinks. His life was hard. So hard...
“Yeah. I didn’t know where I’d go next, what the people would be like. But, you know, now I have you,” Keith licks his lips, catching himself, “Guys.”
He frowns at the mistake. But with Lance’s arms around him, he feels soft and happy. Like he’s drunk. He reminds himself that this is probably never happening again.
Lance presses his nose to Keith’s hair, and his breath tickles Keith’s scalp. Keith melts a little.
“So,” Lance says, and it comes with a rush of air, “You think of us as family? Kinda?”
Keith nods, “Kinda.”
Lance is, of course, the exception.
Lance nods, and then they just stand close, breathing each other in.
Lance has muscles, but they’re long and not the kind that’s easily noticeable. He’s thin, even thinner than he looks. It kind of scares Keith, because he can feel Lance’s ribs clearly under his shirt. But he can also feel Lance’s abs, so it’s not too bad. At all. This is probably the best day of his life, actually.
“Hey,” Lance turns so Keith can feel the words on his head, “I don’t…”
There’s a pause.
“What?” Keith murmurs, and hope tells him it’s a confession. But it can’t be. You don’t start confessions like that.
“I don’t hate you.”
Keith nodd, “Good to know.”
“I actually…”
Lance purses his lips against Keith’s hair. Keith waits, and lets hope tell him all sorts of things.
“Might…”
Keith waits, and the pause stretches itself painfully. Keith tries to smash his fantasies, because the end of the sentence is coming soon.
Lance moves, the hug slipping away, and Keith feels scared, even though there’s nothing to be scared of, (Yes, there is.)
“Love you,” Lance finishes, looking down.
Keith can’t see Lance’s face, so he can’t tell if this is a joke.
It has to be.
It didn’t sound like one.
“Lance?” Keith’s voice is shakey. Lance looks at him and shrugs, with a plastic smile.
“I know that there’s no way in the universe you like me back, but I… You told me something about you, and I took it too far. And then the hug… I just wanted to comfort you, I swear, but...”
He’s talking too fast, his spring voice cracking like ice. Keith watches his face, the face of someone who wants to take it all back.
Keith takes Lance’s hand, “Hey, hey. Listen to me,” Lance shakes his head. Keith squeezes his hand, “Listen!”
With Lance’s eyes on him, he whispers, “I don’t hate you, either.”
Lance looks at him in confusion.
“Oh. Oh, oh, oh!” his eyes glitter, and his smile is blinding, “Oh-this changes things quite a bit, then. Sweet baby Beyonce, do you actually like me?”
Keith takes Lance’s other hand, “I don’t see why me liking you is so hard to believe.”
Lance blusters a bit, and then, “Look at me! Look at you! I mean, you’re not only the best pilot of this generation. You’re such a lady killer, and without even trying.”
“Well, I’m gay!” Keith blurts through his blush.
“Well, obviously, but you could be ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ on People magazine.”
Keith’s jaw hangs open, “No way, I thought that was you! You could be a model.”
Lance shrugs, “I’m pretty good looking, but you. You blow me out of the water.”
“Agree to disagree?” Keith says.
Lance nods, then laughs, “Our first fight as a couple, and it’s about who’s hotter.”
“Oh, yeah, I guess we’re a couple now.”
“Yes!”
“Huh. I don’t feel different. Really happy, but…”
“That’s offensive! You should feel completely different. Like yourself, but better!”
Keith shrugs. Lance laughs, rich and rumbling, like a cascading waterfall.
“Not that you could get much better, honestly,” Lance says.
Keith shrugs again, grinning. Right now, he’s anything but sad.