Chapter Text
Rule
#1
No spoilers if you can help it
(The Doctor knows your limits in telling him)
(Don't be weak and cave)
(Like I do on occasion)
(Dammit)
Rule
#2
Don't hide the bananas
(Bad TARDIS)
Rule
#3
Make sure the Doctor sleeps at least twice a week
(Because any more is pushing it)
(And any less and he'll still look terrible)
Rule
#4
No hanky-panky on the TARDIS
(Or if you really can't help yourselves)
(Please try to keep it in your rooms)
(The Doctor is refusing to go in the costume room now)
(Thanks, Ponds)
Rule
#5
Don't call the 4th Doctor a teddy bear
(Well, not in public)
(He says it ruins his clever image)
(I didn't know he had one)
Rule
#6
Following that, make sure the 4th Doctor's scarf is washed regularly
(It gets disgusting otherwise)
(We found a colony of bats in there last month)
(They're in the library now)
(They're pretty cool)
Rule
#7
Don't hide the brainy-specs
(The Doctor gets cranky)
(I swear it was all Jack's idea!)
(I just went along with it at the time...)
Rule
#8
Don't walk around the TARDIS naked
(This rule is mainly for Jack)
(And Amy and Rory)
(Bloody Ponds)
Rule
#9
Replace the 5th Doctor's celery at the end of each day
(Rotting veg is a crappy look)
(And he stunk)
(No hugs that week)
Rule
#10
Don't diss cricket
(He's a tad obsessed about it)