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Under normal circumstances, Alec would object to the whole 'being kidnapped by the military in the middle of the night' situation. Hell, he's still objecting, but he's also increasingly distracted by the really fucking beautiful computer in front of him, and the genius scientist pointing out its shiniest features. Still, he does try and mention, "Look, Doctor Carter-."
"Colonel. Alec, I really am trying to offer you an opportunity. We have-."
"You have some probably nasty-looking police records, and I'm admitting nothing, but that's not the real problem here. I really need to make a call and-."
She smiles at him through gritted teeth. "Alec. I don't like this any more than you do, but we've had a breach in our security and I'm told that you might be able to help. Apparently some of our people have had their eyes on you since grade school, and they think you can figure out what's going on with the attacks on our systems."
"Which I'm entirely willing to do, what with the government having locked me up in the middle of a mountain and made me sign all sorts of papers, but you really need to-."
"What is it?"
"I need to make a call. See, I was on a job before you kidnapped-."
"Alec."
"Fine, fine, before you asked me real politely to walk out of my van and into the kind hospitality of the US military. I was on a job. And my guys aren't going to just let that go. My- look. My boy Eliot's about to come crashing through these doors and I'd like to let him know not to-."
"Alec, with all due respect, we're in the middle of the most secure military base in the country."
Somewhere down the hallway, there's a yell and a crash.
There's a click, and what's now a familiar metal noise of bullets being removed from a stolen gun. Then a kind of worrying sizzle. Alec asks, "You guys have phasers? Seriously?"
The door comes off its hinges. Eliot does at least look dishevelled – the soldiers must be good. It wasn't their fault they weren't warned against Eliot Spencer. Alec had tried to explain.
Carter gets out her gun and Alec puts his hands up. "Wait. Wait! Eliot. Hey, man, everything's-."
Eliot grabs Alec and bodily moves him out of harm's way. So behind Eliot then. Eliot reaches back and pats Alec's arm. "You all right?"
"Yeah, man, I'm fine. You want to stop threatening the nice Colonel?
"Maybe in a minute. You know they have aliens in here?"
"Yeah, I noticed that. But they still want me to give them a hand with something. I've decided to be flattered by the whole kidnap thing. How'd you feel about helping out the government for a change?"
Eliot laughs. "Our regular jobs boring you now? Hey, if you wanna stay, I'll stay. You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Carter looks at the two of them with raised eyebrows. "Boys?" She lowers her gun. "Alec. Do you want to look at this computer now?"
"Oh, so very much. Eliot, take a look at this. You think Nate'd be up for me upgrading our systems again?"
"I don't think the nice lady is gonna let you walk out with one of these."
Carter coughs.
Eliot looks at the uniform and rank insignia. He nods at her. "Sorry. Ma'am."
Carter asks, "What kind of damage am I looking at out there?"
"They'll all wake up within an hour or so. Listen, Colonel, you can't just go round-."
Alec interrupts them. "Wow."
"Hardison?"
"No, I mean, wow. This is good. I mean, usually the government issue stuff is fast but pretty brutal. This is- this is elegant. Did the aliens do this?"
"The-." Carter stops and sighs. "Some of it, yes."
"So whoever's breaking in must be really good."
"You're telling me you can't-?" Eliot asks.
Alec bristles. "I said they were good, I didn't say they were me. Just sit back and let me work, would you? My God. No respect." He starts digging into the (really beautifully if eccentrically designed) code and zones out a little.
Somewhere at the edge of his hearing Eliot says, "No, you can't keep him. And next time call when you decide you need a consultant. No damn manners, that's what the problem is."
Carter murmurs, "Jack would never have taken this kind of…" and that's when Alec decides to ignore them in favour of hacking into the honest-to-God alien code. It's officially his favourite kidnap/hostage/consultancy ever.