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Phil Coulson had always loved uniforms. It was a terrible cliché, of course, but uniforms had always appealed to him, and not just because he was often attracted to the men who wore them. Phil liked the clean lines, the precision, the attention to detail that went into wearing a uniform correctly. It was one of the reasons he'd joined the Boy Scouts as a child, one of the reasons that Captain America was his favourite superhero and even one of the (many) reasons he'd eventually joined the army. Being dressed in uniform made him feel like he was part of a team, one of the guys. Uniforms made him feel like he belonged.
Now he didn't wear a uniform any more. The suit, much as his co-workers liked to joke about it, definitely didn't count. He did however, have the responsibility for making sure that his Agents' uniforms met their needs.
To: [email protected]From: [email protected]Subject: Re: Re-design of tactical Uniform for Specialist Barton, Clint (codename Hawkeye)
As requested, here is my input on the proposed re-design of Specialist Barton's tactical uniform. Please be sure to consider the following points before proceeding with the prototype phase:
1. It is of utmost importance that Agent Barton's tactical uniform grant him complete freedom of motion in every direction. Agent Barton frequently uses his great agility and flexibility in the performance of his duties and his tactical uniform must be able to bend, stretch, and move with him under all circumstances. I am appending documentation on the latest advances in Spandex and other potentially suitable performance fabrics for your perusal.
2. A balance must be struck, however, between mobility and protection. As you know, Agent Barton has on more than one occasion, found it necessary to vacate an elevated position via an un-supported gravitational descent. Shielding of the neck and spine against impact injury is a required performance feature of any new uniform.
3. Regarding the arms. Your proposed design 2.13.6 still includes sleeves. Might I remind you that Agent Barton is an archer, and has repeatedly explained to your department (and anyone else who would listen) that sleeves "get in the way." I am hoping to see a sleeveless version 2.13.7 as soon as possible.
4. I also would like to bring your attention to the attached sketch, requesting the addition of a pocket on the outside of the right thigh. Agent Barton is often required to carry small pieces of equipment, and has indicated that this is the best place for an additional pocket.
I hope the above is clear. If you have any further questions regarding this feedback or any other detail, please let me know, I'll be more than happy to continue to provide any input needed.
Regards,
Phil Coulson,Agent, Strategic Planning and ResponseS.H.I.E.L.D.
Phil Coulson's office door opened, and Clint Barton sauntered in. He'd apparently decided that the fact that they were dating meant he was no longer required to knock.
"Hey Phil, whatcha doing?"
"Emailing Geoff Desmond about the re-design of your tac uniform."
"Cool. Did you tell him no sleeves?"
"Yes. I very clearly told him 'no sleeves'."
"Thanks. And did you ask for the condom pocket?"
"One, yes, I asked for the additional pocket, and two, you need to stop referring to it as a condom pocket."
"Why? That's what I'm going to be keeping in it, you know, just in case we get stranded on a desert island or in some shack in Alaska and have to wait to be rescued. I want to be prepared."
Phil sighed, hit "Send" on the email, and stood up.
"Lunch?"
"Yeah, that's why I stopped by. Oh, and I had an idea. It's a nice day out, how about we go grab some hot dogs and eat in the park, rather than at the commissary?"
"That sounds nice," Phil said, and smiled at his boyfriend. He was very much looking forward to seeing Clint in the new uniform.