Chapter Text
About Fathers
Wally tilted his face up and relished the feel of the sun on his skin and the breeze in his hair. He learned from J’onn to concentrate on good things, even simple things like being out in the sun to help ease his emotions and to keep him from panicking. Wally needed it, because he was on the verge of an extreme emotional breakdown.
This was a stupid idea, but he needed to do it. If he backed down now he would never forgive himself. Everyone around Wally had done so much for him by pulling him away from an emotionally abusive home and giving him the love and support that he needed. Now Wally was trying to give back to one of those people who had helped him and in a way Wally was helping his own recovery. J’onn had supported his idea, believing that it would be a good way for him to confront his past and to shape a better future. The Martian even told him that he’d arrange the meeting himself. It sounded like a good idea to Wally at the time.
But as Superman came towards the rooftop of the Daily Planet, descending upon him like the great hero he used to worship, Wally was beginning to think this was a terrible idea. He wanted to run away, but he was frozen to his spot. Things only became worse for him when Superman landed on the concrete and approached Wally with concern bright in his eyes. Wally knew that Superman meant well, that he really was worried about Wally’s wellbeing, and hell, he even offered Wally a home, to live with the Man of Steel’s parents. Wally desperately wished that Superman would direct that kindness and energy elsewhere.
“J’onn said you needed to talk to me. Has your father contacted you or approached you?” Superman asked right away, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and worry was lacing his voice.
Wally shook his head. No, it was nothing that drastic.
“Is everything alright at home? With Dinah?”
Wally could only nod for the moment as his throat had suddenly closed up. Everything was fine at home other than his minor and not so minor freak outs.
“I, uh …” Wally grasped for the right words to say, but they were just beyond his reach and his throat felt too dry.
“Take your time, Wally.”
Superman’s compassion only made things harder, because as much as Wally and his team loathed the man now, Superman was in a many ways a great guy, one of the many reasons why Wally had looked up to him. Not only was he a hero, he was genuinely a nice person who cared deeply about his friends and family. Well, most of his family.
“I came here to talk about Conner.” The statement came out quietly and it would have been lost to the wind if it wasn’t for Superman’s super hearing. “You need to talk to him. You need to tell him that he means something to you. You need to tell him that he’s someone to you,” he rambled.
His plea obviously wasn’t what Superman was expecting and the older man stood in front of Wally shocked. The teen took advantage of that shock and continued to speak. “Please, it hurts, it hurts to be ignored, to have someone you care about pretend that you don’t exist, that you’re nothing,” Wally whispered harshly, his emotions choking him. “Please, talk to Conner, just acknowledge him.”
“Wally, it’s more complicated than that.” Superman’s tone was so gentle and careful that it was painful. Where was this consideration for Conner? Why was Wally so special that he got such treatment when Superman wouldn’t do it for his son?
“Just acknowledge him! You save everyone! So why not save Conner!?” Wally stopped when he realized that he was shouting. He was shouting at Superman.
The pain he felt wasn’t just for Conner, but for himself as well. Because sometimes when he looked at Conner when someone talked about Superman, Wally saw himself in Conner’s eyes. The sense of abandonment and a blind longing for love and acceptance from the person it should’ve come most naturally from was all too familiar to Wally. And poor Conner, Conner went through it too. But where were the people to save Superboy? No one was running to his rescue like they had come running to save Wally.
“Please,” the word was quiet and desperate. “Please, save him.”
Wally’s legs shook so badly and his breathing became so erratic that Superman steadied him and helped him sit down. “I’ll call your uncle and tell him to take you home.”
Home sounded really good at that moment. Lying down in his warm bed, having his aunt fuss over him, Dinah ordering takeout soup and pouring into a bowl trying to pass it off as her own, his uncle telling him tales about the Justice League to cheer him up, Roy bringing over action movies to watch with him, and Dick crawling into his bed to hold him. That sounded like an excellent idea. It was so selfish of him that it brought tears to his eyes.
“What about Conner?” Wally asked.
There was a sad softness to Superman’s eyes and it reminded Wally that despite the fact that Clark Kent was an alien, he was also very human. “I’ll … We’ll see, ok?”
No, it wasn’t ok. But that was all that was left in Wally, it was all he could stand to bare and he hated himself for it. Conner, who stood up to Rudolph West and rescued Wally, deserved so much more than Wally could give. Wally’s shoulders slumped in defeat as he waited for his uncle to come get him.
The Flash was there in less than two minutes and he lifted Wally up into his arms. He whispered soothingly to Wally as the teen just laid his head on the Flash’s shoulder, his body still trembling. From under his cowl, Barry Allen glared at Superman, “We’ll talk later.”
Superman nodded. “Just get him home safely.” Then he took to the air and was off.
“Come on, Kid, let’s get you home. Your aunt will meet us at Dinah’s and I’m sure that Robin will be there.”
Wally’s hand clutched onto the red fabric of the Flash’s suit and he whimpered helplessly, “I tried. I really tried.”
Barry didn’t know what his nephew was talking about, but he held the boy a little tighter and said, “I know you did, I know you did your best.”
A couple of weeks later Wally was making a sandwich in the kitchen at Mount Justice after training. He paused in his snack making when he saw Conner pass by with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. Wally was torn between running to catch up with Conner to ask him where he was going and shoving his sandwich in his face for some much needed calories. Choosing to do both, Wally managed to trip on his own feet as he chased after Conner, feeling a little dizzy after training. He didn’t eat before training and conveniently forgot to tell Dinah, so he was running on empty.
A hand gripped his shoulder, steadying him. Artemis looked at him with a bit of disgust at the way he was eating, but chose not to comment on it right away.
“Where is Supey going?” Wally asked with his mouthful and bits of crumbs falling from his lips.
“First, you’re seriously gross. Second, Megan told me that Conner is going to his grandparents’ farm in the middle of nowhere, you know, the farm they tried to send you to. It’s going to be a long weekend now that I only have Kaldur as eye candy,” she sighed. “Too bad Robin is too young.”
Wally ignored the light barb at him, more focused on what else she had said. “To his grandparents’ place? Is Superman going to be there? Is Superman talking to him?”
Artemis shrugged. “Not really, at least from what I’ve heard, but he must be talking to his parents about Conner, because they invited him over. Robin said that Batman says he wasn’t the one who told them. It’s a start, right?”
Wally’s face broke out into a large grin. Superman wasn’t going to win father of the year anytime soon, but it was a small step in the right direction. Superman was beginning to acknowledge Conner was part of his family, that Conner was someone.
It was more than Wally could claim about his own father.