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John Laurens met Alexander Hamilton during his second year at Columbia. His last roommate requested a change after they had a sort of… falling out.
No, falling out is way too simple for what happened. His roommate was Francis Kinloch, a man from South Carolina who was studying law. He was kind and shared similar views with John and John fell fast. As did Kinloch, or so John thought. It felt so good when they first started out, except Kinloch was water to John’s fire and it was quickly known. They lasted a semester before falling apart. They tried to make it work the second semester and when it was good, it was great. The bad seemed to slowly outweigh the good until Kinloch wasn’t who John thought he was.
It wouldn’t be fair to say Kinloch was a bad man but they didn’t fit. They weren’t right and John was done. Done with Kinloch and love. Yes, he loved the man. If you could even call what they had love. John’s friends didn’t support the relationship at all because they could see how wrong they were for each other, at least in a romantic sense. But John’s had enough of relationships after Martha Manning and Francis Kinloch, it would be better for him to be alone.
Then Alexander Hamilton decides to blow in, the door slamming against the wall as he throws it open on the first day of school. “You would not believe what the bursar said!” he had shouted.
John jumps and drops the shirt he was folding, “uh… what did the bursar say?” That seems to be the proper response as the man’s eyes light up at the question.
“He wouldn’t let me take these extra courses because apparently I need to sleep. That’s bullshit okay, I can take care of myself. I get plenty of sleep,” the dark haired olive skinned man, with bags under his eyes that contradict his previous statement, stomps forward and sticks his hand out, “Alexander Hamilton. I’m going to change the world someday.”
John grasps his hand, feeling tingles in his fingers, “John Laurens. I’d like to help you do that.”
Alexander Hamilton immediately grins, “well John Laurens, I think we can manage that.”
John’s heart stutters at the Alexander’s grin and he quickly returns it before dropping the man’s hand. “What are you majoring in?” he asks as he bends down to pick up shirt.
“Law,” Alexander replies and John can hear the smirk he’s definitely wearing, “what about you?”
John looks up at him and smiles, “medicine and art. Strange mix, I know, but I like it.”
Alexander shakes his head, “not a weird mix. I like it.” He cocks his head to the side and his smirk transforms into a soft smile, “do you want to go get some food? Or a coffee? There’s an amazing coffee shop down the street, if you’re interested. I won’t make you.”
John looks down at the shirt in his hands before tossing it on the bed, “let’s go. I love coffee.”
Alexander laughs, “a man after my own heart. After you.” He gestures to the door and John leaves the dorm room. As he watches Alexander pull the door shut behind him and gesture down the hallway with a blinding smile, he thinks to himself, ‘don’t you fall in love with your roommate again. Been there, done that.’
They fell into a routine fairly quickly. Alexander would storm into the dorm room, the human embodiment of a hurricane, and start ranting about something that annoyed him that day. John would offer to fight them if it was a person, usually Jefferson or Burr, and be rewarded with a heart stopping smile. John’s head would scream at him to get a grip as Alexander would nudge his arm and ask him to go get coffee. They’d go to the Schuyler Café down the road from the university and John would pretend to not feel his heart race every time Alex held the door open or his hand brushed against John’s back.
The only time the routine was broken was when John tried to go on a date that ended up failing horribly. Except, when he got back to the dorm room, Alexander was nowhere in sight. In fact, John didn’t see Alexander for a few days and when he finally did see him again, things were weird between them. Eventually they went back to normal but it was a strange few days. When Alexander finally started ranting again and John got the heart stopping smile, it was like the sun came out from the clouds.
It was a day in mid-February when Alexander John were sitting in Schuyler Café, well Alexander was in the bathroom so it was just John, when the delightful owners of the café slid into the booth across from him.
“Who’d you think you’re kidding?” Peggy asks him, leaning forward with her elbows on the table.
“Peggy,” Eliza tries to go for scolding but laughs instead, “try to be more discreet.”
“Well, hello to you too, Peggy,” John says with a laugh, “what are you talking about?”
“He’s the Earth and Heaven to you,” Angelica says, leaning back in her seat and looking evenly at him.
Eliza smiles at him, “honey, we can see right through you.”
John sits up straight, “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”
“We know how you feel,” Peggy says to him. The sisters glance at each other quickly before Angelica speaks up, “and who you’re thinking of.”
John shakes his head quickly, “no no no, no way. No chance, I won’t say it. I’m not in love with Alexander.”
Eliza laughs, “we didn’t say a name, John.”
John winces as Peggy continues, “I mean, you practically swoon every time he walks into the room.”
“Why deny it?” Angelica asks him.
“It’s too cliché and my life is not a Disney movie,” John protests, rubbing his face with a hand and praying that Alexander hurries up in the bathroom.
“John, you keep on denying who you are and how you’re feeling,” Eliza says, trying to ease his nerves with a kind smile.
“I’m not buying that,” Peggy says with an eye roll, “we see you basically hit the ceiling every time he smiles at you.”
“Face it,” Angelica says to him, “you got it bad.”
John shakes his head, “no chance, no way. I’m not saying it.”
“John,” Eliza says softly, “check that smile, you’re in love.” John can feel the smile on his face that appears every time he thinks about Alexander.
“I won’t say it. You’re way off base,” John tells them, pressing his palms on the table.
“John-”
“Get off my case, I’m not in love,” John states, quickly apologizing at Angelica’s frown, “I’m sorry. I just, after Kinloch and after what I did to Martha, I swore never again. I would never fall in love again. I’ve already won the prize for rotten judgement, I can’t do it again. Not to me, not to anybody else, and especially not to Alexander.”
“You know,” Eliza says, resting her chin on her palm, “I can see why you’d fall for Alexander. He’s cute, intelligent, short-tempered but kind if he likes you. Incredibly passionate, and those eyes,” she sighs before looking up at him, “In fact, you two are exactly the same.”
“Then why don’t you date him?” John can’t help but ask.
“Because,” Eliza shrugs, “he already gave you his heart.”
John shakes his head, “I can’t… I’m not.” He can’t say that because it would be a lie.
Eliza gently takes his hand in hers, “John, would Alexander be worth it? Even if it ends in heartbreak, would he be worth it?”
John sighs, thoughts racing before slowly looking up at her and whispering, “Alexander’s worth everything.”
Angelica gently places her hand on his arm, “it’s okay, you’re in love.”
There’s the sound of someone clearing their throat and John looks up to see Alexander standing by the booth. He quickly pulls his arms away from Angelica and Eliza, ignoring Eliza’s snickers, and smiles at him, “hey!”
“Am I interrupting something?” Alex asks them.
“Nope! No, nothing’s going on. Everything’s normal, it’s all gone. Everything’s great. I’m fine,” the last sentence came out as a squeak and John ignores Peggy’s laughter as he clears his throat.
Alexander raises an eyebrow and nods slowly, “right. Well, I have to go to the library, care to join me?”
“I’d love to!” He quickly stands up and accidentally knocks over the, nearly empty, cup of coffee. He tries pilling napkins on top of the spill before Angelica stops him.
“I’ve got this. Go and enjoy your date, have fun kids.”
John sputters as Alexander pulls him out of the café. “What was that all about, if you don’t mind me asking. I mean, I’m asking anyway but still,” Alexander asks, not dropping John’s hand from when he pulled him out of the café.
John tries not to focus on the feeling of Alexander’s hand in his, “they uh… they just wanted to catch up.”
Alexander nods, seemingly accepting the flimsy excuse and launches into a story about his debate class that Washington had to interrupt. John’s heard a story almost exactly like this but he listens anyway. He listens and watches the way the light falls on Alexander’s face and makes his eyes burn brighter. He focuses on how Alexander’s swings their linked hands as they walk, instead of using hand motions to talk.
‘Well, at least out loud,’ John thinks to himself, ‘I won’t say I’m in love.’