Chapter Text
“Alex if you don’t take these vacation days I’m going to fire you.” J’onn crossed his arms as Alex continued to argue why she didn’t need any time off. Who cared if she had only taken one sick day in six years and had accrued over thirty five days of just vacation time? They had just finished one of their bigger cases and slow did not begin to describe the workings at the DEO. Slow wasn't even a word in her vocabulary right now, it wasn't even in her mental dictionary, in fact-
"Are you even listening?", she really had been on the receiving end of his stern, cross armed expression a good many times
"Look, J'onn I just need to finish up these reports and begin the new weapons testing and then assign a team to-"
That is why J’onn was pulling rank on the agent, forcing her to at least sit at her own home for a week. “No, the only thing you just need to do is bulk watch a Net-hits show or something,” he argued.
“Netflix, J’onn.” She put her fingers on the bridge of her nose. “You binge watch Netflix.”
“I don’t care if you sing it but starting in two weeks time, you are banned from any DEO related cases and your badge won’t even work for the coffee maker. Do I make myself clear?”
His eyes began to turn Martian red and she knew there was no point in arguing. “Crystal,” she said defeated.
She stormed out of his office and directly into her sister. “What’s got you in a huff and puff?” Alex threw a hand in her direction instead of answering, needing to find something to hit within the next thirty seconds.
J’onn leaned on the edge of his door and watched his mostly-daughter figure stomp her feet like a teenager through the echoing hallways. Kara turned towards him, knowing Alex was a lost cause. “This your doing?”
He held up two fingers to his younger girl. “Two words-mandated vacation.” She understood the huffing now. There was not a moment in Alex’s life where she wasn’t doing something. While most people spent their school breaks on a couch, Alex was tinkering with cars or playing mad scientist in their kitchen. Snow day? Alex built an igloo. Thanksgiving break? Alex learned morse code. Your alien sister set off every fire alarm in school with her heat vision cancelling classes for the week? Alex hiked part of the Appalachian trail. If two things in this world didn’t go together it was vacation and Alex Danvers.
“You know she's going to get out of it, right?” 11 years of experience told Kara she was right.
J’onn shook his head. “What if we locked her in the containment room?”
Kara actually pondered it for a second before realizing Alex could break out of it in an hour and then would kill them both. “I’ll think of something,” she said, patting his shoulder.
Across town, Maggie Sawyer was standing in the changing room of a bridal shop, strapped into a high slit purple dress that had a drop waist, and quite frankly made her look like a Greek harlot. The attendant clasped the last hook and zipped it tight. She assessed herself in the mirror and was happy her sister at least had decent taste. There weren’t many shops in the small town they came from so the wedding party agreed to meet up in National City for a real bridal experience.
She walked out of the room and onto a lifted platform so all the gawking women could assess the dress. The attendant walked behind her pulling her shoulders back to fix her posture. Maggie rolled her eyes and blew the stray piece of hair that flew into them.
“You look so good!” Her older sister squealed, wearing a similar get up, that hugged her pregnant belly differently. “Mama your duckling has grown up so fast.”
Maggie pushed at her sister’s arm as a warning about her unfortunate nickname. Growing up they called her duckling because of the ugly duckling story. She had braces for years, blemished skin, and rowdy hair that never got tamed well. Looking at her now, one would think she was a shoe in for prom queen. Instead, she was a softball player that had a reputation for sliding into second and spitting on the plate before hitting.
“Girls, we are in public,” their mother warned. “Maggie, your sister’s right. You do look so beautiful...” The slight pause clued Maggie into what was coming next. She was definitely going to get a lecture on her relationship status. Her sisters were teachers. They had husbands or were about to. Maggie was a cop and always a casual dater. Something her mother never could get used to. “…Anyone would be lucky to have you, if someone doesn’t already.”
There it was. Before she could politely say no, her sisters and the other bridesmaids jumped into a myriad of comments and jabs. When does she ever date? Our Maggie, please. Maybe for a weekend. Is there such a thing as a woman whore?
Their laughter started to swirl in front of her eyes into a ball of red anger. “I am dating someone!” She blurted out. The words escaped her mouth before her brain could process what they implied. There was a split second where she could take it back but that was never her style. Instead, she plowed through. “…For your information.” She swept the dress up and trudged down the steps towards the dressing room. Her mind was a constant line of shit, shit, shit with the occasional fuck for good measure.
“Woah there tex,” her bride-to-be sister Erin grabbed her arm. “You can’t drop that bomb and walk away. Who is she? How long have you been together? Is she coming to the wedding?”
“Ummmm.” Smooth Maggie, she thought to herself.
“A few months...” Lie.
“ She is from around here-ish…” Lie.
“…and it’s getting serious.” Lie some more.
“If she can get work off, she’ll come.” Definite lie.
Her sisters pounced on her. “There is no maybe! She has to come. We’ll pay for the plane ticket and everything just give us her name and we will work it out. Oh my gosh, baby duckling has a mate.”
Maggie tried to swat herself out of their grasp but they swarmed her into an uncomfortable hug. “Let me go, or I’m breaking up with her.”
They acquiesced but still continued their line of questioning. “What’s her name?”
Maggie looked around a bit trying to think of any name. Her mind was literally a blank wall besides her own name. Behind them, out the window, there was a bright green sign for a pizzeria called Alexander’s. “Alex,” she said unconvincingly. She repeated it with a little more enthusiasm. “My girlfriend’s name is Alex.”
They squealed some more and agreed not to grill her anymore until the wedding. She changed out of her clothes and sat through Erin trying on a dozen white ball gowns. The whole time she was trying to figure her way out of the cluster fuck she had just gotten into. She had two weeks to either find a woman named Alex willing to spend a week with a stranger and their extremely loud family. Or have a convincing break up story.
Every time she looked over at her mother, there was a sparkle in her eyes. She was finally happy knowing all of her girls were happy. Maggie didn’t want to let her down. She slid out her phone and pulled up Tinder. She was going to set a swiping record in order to find an Alex that was even remotely believable. Little did she know, the exact person she needed was settling in for a movie night with her sister just a few blocks away.
Alex grabbed a beer out of Kara’s fridge and used the counter to pop the top off. “I’m not going to vacation somewhere in the Bahamas by myself,” she complained.
Kara had her laptop out googling vacation spots for her sister. If she wouldn’t relax in her apartment for a week, Kara would send her somewhere Alex couldn’t help but relax in. Her older sister had already turned down Europe, South America, and three different cruises. “If you hadn’t broken up with Tiffany this wouldn-” Alex’s glare made her stop sentence. “I mean-you deserve…there are other fish in the ocean, tonnes of fish, all different fish…especially in the Bahamas.”
Alex scooted Kara’s legs off the couch and sat down on her half. “She didn’t understand my job…and couldn’t even get more than ten points per word in scrabble…Nobody has time for that.” They clinked their glasses together.
“Could you at least try to participate in your own vacation?”
“I told you. I’ll stay home and read a book series or something.” She couldn’t look Kara in the eyes as she said it.
“If you’re within fifty miles of the DEO you will try and do work.” Kara set the computer down on the counter and reached out for Alex’s phone.
“What are you doing?”
Kara ignored her, taking the black rectangle and easily unlocking it. She swiped through a few things before she found what she was looking for. “If you don’t want to go alone, let’s find someone to go with you.”
“Kara, no.” Alex tried to reach across the couch but the Kryptonian used her superspeed to woosh into the kitchen. “I’m going to count to three,” she warned.
“I like this one. Blonde. 28. Yoga teacher. I bet she has time for an all-expenses paid adventure. Swipe.” Alex rolled off the couch, trying not to spill her beer as she helplessly chased after her sister.
“Kara Zor-El Danvers. Don’t make me call mom.” Kara waved the phone in the air tauntingly, continuing to swipe the pretty girls. “I’m going to let the next alien kill you.”
“Sureeeee.” She swept through a few more “no’s” before she landed on one that seemed really promising. “Come on, not even this one? 27. NCPD cop. Brunette. Dimples almost as cute as mine” She pointed the screen so Alex could take in the beautiful woman, whose dimpled smile could probably cure cancer.
“...she’s alright,” Alex lied, secretly wanting to look at more photos.
“Just alright?” Kara prodded. “Guess, that’s a no.”
“No!” Alex reached again for her stolen device. “Just in case, we should swipe right.” Kara complied and as soon as she did a bubble popped up as a match.
“You’re a match!”
Alex looked at the screen in disbelief. “No way.” As she grabbed her phone, a message popped up from the beautiful stranger.
Maggie: Did you know that I had to go through 320 profiles to find a girl named Alex?
Alex wasn’t sure how to take that message. They quickly moved over to the couch and settled cross legged. “What do I say to that?” Alex had been out for a few years but was still a complete dork when it came to talking to women.
Alex: Is this a bad time to say it’s a fake name?
“Oooo that’s good,” Kara said over her shoulder. The ellipse popped up and Alex was genuinely excited.
Maggie: Damn. I got excited there for a minute. I thought I was going to have to settle for any old Alex…didn’t know I’d luck out on someone so gorgeous. But if that’s not your real name…
“She’s smooth.”
“She also searched 320 people to find a person named Alex. That’s not weird?”
Kara shrugged her shoulders. “Oddly specific for sure. You have to respond though. Here…” she took the phone and typed out a quick message.
Alex: If I were to say my name really is Alex, would you tell me why it’s so important?
Maggie: I have a proposition. That pays.
As Maggie sent the message, she realized how that sounded. She had literally spent the whole afternoon matching with every Alex within a hundred miles of National City. None of them seemed half as interesting as the woman who listed her hobbies as “Science and Aliens.” She had no idea how to ask a stranger to fake date her for a week without sounding like a serial killer.
Maggie: OMG that sounds a lot worse than it is.
Alex: Care to clarify? I thought Tinder hook ups were free ;)
Alex punched Kara in the arm when she read what she wrote. “I’m not trying to hook up with a stranger with a name fetish.”
Maggie: Okay, I’m going to lay it all out because I can’t do any worse than I already have. My sister is getting married. I need a date. I stupidly said I had a girlfriend named Alex and if I don’t show up with a girlfriend named Alex, I will break my old mother’s heart.
Her mom wasn’t exactly old but it sounded better.
Maggie: I will pay for the whole week. Anything you miss in work, plane, lodging, food. You don’t have to worry about a thing. I would also owe you the rest of my life and I’m a cop so that might come in handy.
Maggie waited patiently for a response. This was the craziest thing she had ever asked from a person, especially a stranger. Honestly, she wasn’t sure what kind of person she was getting into bed with if they agreed to something so crazy.
Alex was desperately hiding her phone from Kara. “You have to do it!” She yelped, trying to tickle the device free. “You have vacation, and she is so pretty. Come on be spontaneous.”
“I’m not going to a wedding with a stranger…even if she is hot.” She tucked her hands under her legs, refusing to move.
Kara stood up and did her Supergirl pose. “What do you have to lose? This poor girl is desperate”
“No.”
“Do it for me.”
“No.”
“Do it or I will tell J’onn that you had Winn hack the system to reduce your vacation time.”
Alex narrowed her eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
“Oh, I would.” She held her gaze, not even blinking. “Five…four…three…” she slowed her count. “Two…” Before she hit one, Alex begrudgingly got out her phone and aggressively hammered in a response.
Alex: Buy me coffee first, and I’ll think about it.
Maggie couldn’t believe it.
Maggie: absolutely. Name the time and place. I promise I’m not a predator or anything… I’ll even give you my badge number.
The ellipse pulled up and stayed for a minute or two. Maybe the woman was going to back out after all.
Alex: this is Alex’s sister and she says yes, without the coffee. Her number is 517-555-6732.
Maggie laughed because that was exactly something her sisters would do to her.
Maggie: thank you Alex’s sister (:
Alex was sprawled out, face first on the carpet while Kara sat on top of her, continuing to punch out messages to Maggie. “She says she will still buy you coffee so you can decide. She’s already chivalrous.” Alex mumbled something into the carpet but Kara couldn’t hear her. “What was that?”
She pushed up hard, releasing her face from the blue shag. “I said…you better sleep with one eye open tonight.” She used her last bit of energy to haul her sister off of her. As she did, her phone rang. The number wasn’t one of her contacts. “You are the worst, Burr.” She unlocked the phone, putting it to her ears.
“Danvers,” she said out of habit.
“First name and last name. We are making strides here.” The voice on the line was sweet. For lack of a better word, it sounded cute. After a pause the voice continued, “It’s Maggie. Maggie you’re potential fake girlfriend because she desperately needs to live up to her family’s expectations and prove them all wrong.”
“That’s a pretty long last name Maggie.” The woman laughed, and Alex was unfortunately smitten.
Kara clawed at her foot. “She sounds cute too,” she whispered.
“Stop eavesdropping,” Alex mouthed back. She ran her hand through her hair before talking again to her new friend. “I may or may not have some mandatory vacation time coming up so if you really needed someone, I might be convinced.”
“You’re serious?” Maggie breathed a sigh of relief.
“Coffee and then I’ll decide.” Kara began dancing around, pumping her fist in the air.
“Coffee, perfect.”
Alex hung up and hurled the closest pillow at her sister. “If I get axe murdered, it’s going to be on your conscience.”