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With all their flaws, discrepancies and in all their ragtag ways – Ginny had a family. Her father taught her, her mother cared for her, her brother supported her. She never had to struggle for food, for education, for training. She’s always been cared for – never been a caretaker.
When Mike talks of his childhood – he might as well be telling her a story about someone else. She can never imagine that the cocky, confident, self-assured, proud affluent man was ever a shy, sensitive child forced to be an adult before his time.
She listens – maybe she understands – but she can never process it.
It’s only when they visit his mother, that she sees it. The little boy, aching for love, acceptance and stability. Having to be a parent to an overgrown child.
When they return home after that visit, he’s withdrawn – almost trembling. It’s a painful thing to watch – but then, again, she realizes, nothing worthwhile is ever easy – especially love.
They don’t make love that night. He’s too agitated and she’s too pensive. She doesn’t sleep much that night, either. This giant, warrior of a man, reduced to a scared, yearning child – finding solace in her wiry pitcher arms. She just lays there, holding him, watching him in his fitful sleep, convinced of one thing – that an unselfish man lays hidden beneath those layers of pomp, humour and projection.
She wakes up the next morning, sleep-deprived, cranky and hungry – plucky enough to pick a meaningless fight with him about wet towels – and determined on one thing.
She’s going to say, ‘yes’ – the next time he asks.
He’s asked more times than either of them can count. She’s never said ‘no’, but she’s never said ‘yes’, either.
“I don’t deserve you.” Is the what she gives him, when he asks her to marry him, again. He asks her casually, in the same tone in which he asks what she wants dinner.
Like, the gorgeous, muscled, hairy hot mess that she loves, doesn’t even put much effort into it this time when he asks - because she’s worn him out with her: ‘I don’t know’s and ‘I’m not sure’s.
“I’ll probably fuck it up.” She adds.
“Those are supposed to be my lines.” He says, sighing resignedly. “So I’m taking this as a ‘no’, again.”
“It’s a yes.”
He blinks.
He needs to confront his father, is what the therapists concur on.
They’re both so fucked up with the lives they’ve led and the messes they’ve made. Public, professional, personal, not to mention their parental issues – they need therapists.
Three. One for him, one for her, one for them as a couple. It’s like an orgy of shrinks.
“A wedding is a good enough reason as any to mend bridges.” She offers.
Mike tells her about his father’s family, then – that his father has grandchildren.
He’s forty-two with no children and a would-be second wife thirteen years, his junior - at the prime of her career, and she can’t be distracted with a family. Ginny knows, how odd it feels for Mike.
“Let’s do the stakeout, together.” She says.
“You know?”
“I know.”
“And you haven’t bolted?”
“Better or worse, Old Man.”
“You don’t think it’s creepy?” He asks.
“It’s really creepy. It’s stalker creepy.”
“And -?”
“Technically I found you out, by tailing your car. Who am I to judge on stalker behaviour?”
“Huh?”
“In my defence, I thought you had cold feet and were bonking some age-appropriate woman. Turns out it wasn’t so bad. You were just sitting outside the house of some family like a serial killer.”
He sighs.
They end up having sex in the car, outside Dave Grissom’s house and getting caught.
How that happened she doesn’t remember.
The sex part – she means.
She knows how the getting caught part happened.
One minute, they’re sitting around nervously, next minute they’re joking about being felons and then after – (god – that air conditioner vent was cold against her ass!)
Not the healthiest way to meet your future father-in-law, that’s for sure.
He winces.
She’s never seen him unraveled like this. He’s just – he’s terrifyingly quiet, sitting on the opposite edge of the couch, staring at Dave Grissom.
If Ginny’s supposed to be the one handling the conversation here, she reckons, they’re screwed.
She’s staring at Mike – is what she realizes when she looks at Dave Grissom. An older, slender, beardless version of him.
She’s also wearing a blouse with half the buttons ripped off and her bra peaking with the man who fathered her would-be husband. She fidgets restlessly on the couch, feeling very much like a teenager caught in an over-exuberant sex act by a disapproving parent.
Technically his parent, caught them in an over-exuberant sex act but…
…details.
“I’m…” She starts.
“I know who you are.” Grissom says.
He’s a soft-spoken, gentle, person. He’s angry – but he’s not aggressive.
The Mike she alone is privy to know, is the same guy – soft-spoken, gentle. He’s only opts to be an asshole for public displays. One of the many things, she loves about him.
“He’s…” She points to Mike.
“I know who he is.” Grissom says.
“Okay, then.”
Grissom can see that Mike’s not going to talk so he looks at her. “Why are you here?”
“He needs a kidney.”
Mike turns his head at her like she’s insane.
Which, she probably is.
But.
That was the first thing that came to mind.
“Really?” Grissom looks concerned.
“No.” Mike finally opens his mouth. “She’s – joking.”
Grissom looks at her. She nods. Now he’s looking at her like she’s insane. They both have the exact same ‘you’re a crazy lady’-face. It’s disconcerting.
“I uh.” Mike starts. Then says nothing.
“We.” She jumps in. “Are getting married.”
“Okay.”
“And we wanted you to come.”
“Why?”
Ginny’s at a loss here. She looks at Mike. He’s grinding his teeth and he’s looking away.
“I think you’re Mike’s dad.” She says, sounding stupid to herself.
“I know I’m Mike’s dad.” He says, softly.
“Yeah, so – my Dad’s dead.” She says…and then really doesn’t know why she started with that.
Mike loves her. She’s sure of it. At that moment, though, with the way he’s looking at her – she’s not entirely convinced of how much.
“This was a bad idea.” Mike says. He rises off the couch, extends his hand out to her.
“Why now?” Is what Dave asks, then. “Isn’t this your second wedding?”
Mike looks at his father with that glare that she’s seen at practice when the guys are playing hooky with the ball and horsing around.
“It’s my first.” She blurts, sullenly.
Both men turn to look at her. Again, their ‘are you fucking for real, lady’ faces are remarkably similar.
“Sit down, Mikey.” Dave says, then, softly. “Please.”
Mike complies. “Don’t call me that.” He says, though.
“Okay.”
“This is the woman I love – and I’m going to die loving her.” Mike says, gruffly, glancing at Ginny.
That might be sooner than later, she thinks. Because, she’ll probably end up killing him just by her stupidity.
“She is important to me.” Mike continues.
Dave nods at him, and looks at her pleasantly.
“We’d like it.” Ginny says, holding the blouse as she leans forward, because the bra display isn’t appropriate for this conversation. “If you come for the wedding.”
“My family still doesn’t know about you.” Dave says, shaking his head.
Mike’s shoulders drop and he looks at her. He looks so helpless, so distraught – she doesn’t know what to do.
“Look.” Ginny says, skirting close to Mike and putting her free hand on his shoulder. “We’re not forcing you to come, but – I’m his family – now.”
Dave looks emotional.
“And I know about you.” She states.
Mike won’t look at her, or Dave or anyone.
“Yeah – “ Ginny says. “There’s a lot of stuff that should have happened that didn’t…but we’re trying to build a bridge here. It’s up to you if you wanna torch it.”
He’s so broken when they reach home that Ginny doesn’t know what else to do except make love to him. Silent tears slip out of his eyes after – she weeps with him.
He cries.
“You’re my family.” He tells her, during the vows.
Everyone’s in tears. Except him. He’s smiling smugly – because he knows she’ll burst into tears and he gets to tease her all about it, after.
Which she does. It’s embarrassing – her makeup runs down in ugly lines across her face.
He kisses her before they are pronounced – irking the officiator. But, he kisses her after they are pronounced as well.
So, it’s all good.
Dave Grissom comes up to them. He doesn’t say much, he just congratulates them and thanks them for inviting him.
She finds him, later – she chases him down, before he takes off.
“He’s the best person I know.” She says.
“I believe you.” He says. “But I think, it’s too late for us now.”
“He was a catcher.” Ginny says. “ – because you inspired him to be one. Because, he looked up to you. Him and I – we formed a partnership because of you, in way. Look, I wish my father were here – to get to know him. But, he’s not. Life doesn’t give us many second chances, Dave.”
Dave nods.
“If your father were here, I sure he’d be proud of you both.” Dave says, just before he leaves.
It’s a nice thing to say but - oh hell no! Her Pop would not approve of her marrying Mike Lawson.
She tells him so, after her fourth orgasm of the night. (It’s a wedding night – so Mike Lawson’s gotta pull out all the stops.)
He frowns.
Baseball becomes neutral ground.
It’s the only thing they can discuss without it spiralling into a father-son spite-fest. What she finds amazing is that they nevertheless made the effort. It was uncomfortable and dodgy– at first, a lot of heat and drama.
Eventually Baseball came to the rescue – thank goodness for the game.
Until.
He falls in love with another girl, right in front of her.
Ginny doesn’t mind.
She’s just – she’s so enamoured by the sight of Mike’s besotted face when he looks at their daughter that she thinks she’s falling in love with him all over again.
Dave Grissom comes for the christening. Mike hands the infant bundle to the older man.
For once – as she regards them – she sees them connecting over something other than baseball.
Maybe for this, she thinks, her father ought to be proud of her.
She tells him so, as he watches her nurse the baby. It’s the first time he's ogling at her boob without intending to fuck.
He looks up at her - keeps looking at her for the longest time.
He smiles.
---end---