Work Text:
He’s not quite sure why he’s here today. Normally, it’s because he’s had a tough day at work or he just needs to feel cared about for once. But strangely, he doesn’t feel either of those ways today.
Maybe, he just wants to block the whole world out for a bit. Maybe, he wants to embrace how he really feels, rather than pretending. Maybe, he wants nothing at all.
He doesn’t know.
It isn’t long before he can feel the fingers running through his hair, and finds himself leaning towards the touch of them. He can sense a hand making its way around his waist, and the hold helps him to adjust and get comfortable. It’s only a matter of seconds before a pair of lips attach to his, the sensation nearly distracting him from the rest of the world entirely.
But even though he feels this urge to reciprocate, to throw his arms around his paramour, something stops him. Suddenly he’s overwhelmed and he finds his hands flat against the other’s chest. Instantly, his paramour stops and Jack feels a hand under his chin. The gesture almost seems childish, but he knows it’s in good will and he looks up to see a pair of worried eyes checking up on him. Feeling guilty, he bats the hand away from his neck and moves his own to the other’s shoulder. He’s gone this far anyway, why stop here?
He nods at his assailant with a bitten lip, before leaning in for a second turn. Once again, there’s one hand around his waist and another at the base of his neck, holding him steady. He’s glad for the support; he’s sure he needs it. His own hands seem to have minds of their own, as this time they don’t hesitate to make their way around the other’s neck. Finally, their lips connect and he can feel himself start to relax. The tensity in his limbs slackens as their kiss quickens, the grip on his neck tightening. As he feels his bottom lip being tugged through the other’s teeth, he can’t help but moan, the sound being ripped from him like a wax strip.
“This okay?” he hears, and it takes a second for him to realise he’s being asked if he gives consent. This whole thing is forbidden, impossible and punishable by death. Jack takes part in these illicit activities because the man in front of him is too mesmerising to ignore, a man he shouldn’t have fantasies about. But he does, and what he just experienced is better than anything he had ever imagined. He had never broken a rule before in his life, never strayed away from the law. Walking away now would end it all; allow it to be forgotten in an instant. Going further only meant more chances of getting caught, a higher risk.
“Jack?”
As he hesitates, he bites his lip once more, not even bothering to think of the bad habit. He stares at the man in front of him and wonders why he’s even delaying the inevitable. Just a few inches in front of him is a masterpiece. A painting with bold brown eyes, outstanding hair, and plump lips all finished up with a perfectly chiselled jawline. Jack finds it hard to resist lunging forwards without a second thought.
“Yes,” he mutters, before capturing his assailant’s lips full on. He feels his lover grin back at him but the kiss doesn’t last long as the other pulls away almost instantly.
“Sofa?”
“Sofa,”
In an instant, Jack finds himself tumbling towards the couch, landing on his back. He doesn’t even have time to move before he finds someone leaning over him with a hand on either side of his head and a knee alarmingly close to his crotch. Jack starts to grin at the sudden pace and threads both sets of fingers in his lover’s thick hair, using the grip to bring himself up to give him a quick chaste kiss before letting himself fall back down. He is rewarded with a sigh, before the gap between them vanishes and he feels a pair of lips connect to his neck. Out of reflex, he looks up in order to expose more of his throat and the result is extraordinary. Any residing doubt disappears in the moment. He closes his eyes as he realises that none of his female pairings had ever made him feel like this.
He relaxes into the sofa, his hands travelling down his lover’s sides. The pleasure he feels comes in waves, the sheer sensation sending ripples down his spine. At a moment’s notice, his back arches and his brain short circuits from the shock of pure pleasure as a pair of teeth graze against the right spot. His thoughts become foggy and muddled and the pure distraction of not having to think, seems like heaven. The worries, the guilt, the pressure, all vanishing in a haze, giving him a high he’s never felt before. Getting caught meant nothing to him now.
Slowly, he lets himself completely concentrate on the figure above him. He allows for his fingers to hook themselves in the loops of his lover’s jeans, pulling gently as a palm rubbed against his chest underneath his loose shirt. The touch makes his heart beat faster, and the sudden rush reminds him of where he is and what he’s doing. He knows it’s wrong and that the consequences of getting caught cheating on his Match are fatal, but he just can’t stop.
Everything here seems different from at home. His house doesn’t seem to be his own anymore, now accommodated and controlled by someone not of his choosing. It’s only been a few months since Jack was given his final Match, a gorgeous and awfully attractive young woman the same age as him. As he lies submissively on the sofa, a picture of her face appears in his mind, haunting him. Feeling no temptation towards her, Jack felt nothing but guilt upon the horrific realisation of his doubtful sexuality a few weeks ago.
And then Mark comes in; a new, and handsome addition to Jack’s bland and boring work team. Of course, the similar interests and type of humour gets them talking immediately, and it isn’t long before they’re best friends. It’s only after a month or two that Jack finds his mind wandering in the gutter about his new companion. It starts as innocent flirting but before long, they are testing the limits. Jack thinks it’ll just be heavy banter, a way of being even better friends and was definitely not leading up to something bigger. That is, until Mark rushes him after a strangely quiet day of work with his hands in his hair and his eyes brimming with tears.
“God Jack, I’m so sorry but I can’t help it! I just can’t get you out of my head, y-you’re all I think about. A-And I know it’s wrong, completely against the system and dangerous, especially if anyone found out but-“
Jack was glad that on that day, no one had decided to walk down the barely used South East corridor, as he shut Mark up right then and there, with a kiss sweeter than any other he could remember. He is always reminded though that that quiet kiss alone could have murdered them both.
He is pulled out of his thoughts when Mark moves away once more, his absence refreshing him of his surroundings. His neck feels slightly sore but any pain vanishes at the sight of Mark gracefully pulling his top over his head. He’s back hovering over Jack in an instant, but the image stays in his mind as their lips lock once more. The kiss is much more passionate this time, the pair almost fighting over dominance. Jack finds that their pace has quickened, probably in fear of not having enough time to pleasure themselves properly. It’s only a matter of time before Jack’s Match arrives home from work.
With most of the doubt having left Jack, he allows himself to concentrate on Mark. He makes swift work of Mark’s jeans, stripping him of them in an instant. With a hand on Mark’s abdomen, Jack becomes utterly lost to the world and Mark’s soft words of flattery become muffled background noise.
He imagines what it would be like if his Match walked in right now, how he would feel. He visualises himself panicking, trying to explain that it wasn’t what it looked like, even if the pair were both in boxers at this point. He doesn’t know how she would react. He knows she is a strong abider of the system, believing that your final Match is the one person you are bound to for the rest of your life. Of course, the system also only works heterosexually, and any form of homosexual activity is punishable, depending on severity. Since Jack is her final Match, reporting him would result in no Match at all. He wonders if she would be prepared to spend the rest of her life alone, thinking on how if that does happen it will be his fault.
Would she report him and live life unmatched without a lover or would she be quiet and turn a blind eye?
He comes to the conclusion that he will never know, and hopefully, will never have to.
He ponders on whether Mark has thought about this with his Match. Being conservative, Mark was careful with his Matches and is not yet on his final choice but surely the thought must have ran through his mind?
On thinking about it further, Jack realises that Mark is in a much worse position. His current Match presently has the option to move on, to fall for someone else. Reporting him would not harm her in any way.
At this thought, he stills. With a hand on Mark’s shoulder, he gently pushes him away and looks up to see Mark staring at him with a confused expression.
Guilt ridden at cutting Mark off again, he opens his mouth to explain before he hears the familiar sound of keys in a lock, which makes him freeze. Slowly, he turns his head towards the door and senses Mark doing the same.
His heart pumps harder than ever, and he can feel the adrenaline moving through his veins as he tries to work out what to do. He tries to move but upon realising Mark is still practically on top of him, fails. Everything seems to freeze and the pair are powerless. There is nothing he can do to fix this, nothing he can do to stop the panic of whatever is coming next.
He can’t change the fact that his faithful Match is standing in the doorway, eyes blown wide with shock.