Work Text:
Walking into the small town police station, Phil found his husband easily. Clint was in the one small cell, leaning against the bars. When he saw Phil, he waved cheerily. “Hey, Phil.”
“A leopard, Clint? Really? All of this for a leopard?”
“It was being abused, Phil! If that circus can’t take care of its animals, then yes, I’m going to set them free.”
“I understand that. I promise I do. But why couldn’t you wait for me or Sitwell to actually help you do this right?” Phil went to stand in front of the cell. He could hear a loud rumbling and when he looked around Clint and saw the leopard, Phil cursed. “Why is the leopard in there with you?”
Clint shrugged. “It’s actually pretty tame, likes singing. Isn’t that right, Baby?”
There was some more purring and the leopard hopped off the bunk and wound around Clint’s legs.
“Come here, Clint.”
Clint pressed his face to the bars. “How much trouble am I in?”
Phil kissed his husband before backing away and trying to find the officer in charge. “You are in so much trouble.”
“Aw, Phil.”
“And you’re not keeping the leopard.”
Before Clint could saw anything, the arresting officer came in and took a long look at Phil. “You his lawyer or something?”
“I’m Agent Phil Coulson from SHIELD, I came to get my asset and we’ll be out of your hair.”
The officer took a step back. “I don’t think so. You asset caused some real trouble today and I’ve never heard of SHIELD. How do I know you aren’t part of some animal rights gang?”
Phil flashed his badge, but the cop remained unimpressed. He began to argue until Clint stepped out of the cell and wrapped an arm around Phil’s waist. “Just pay my bail, babe and let’s get out of here.”
The cop spluttered at the sight of Clint out of the cell and tried to order him back in. When the leopard padded out next and laid at Clint’s feet, the cop just let Phil pay Clint’s bail and asked them to leave.
Ushering Clint and the leopard to the car, Phil only rolled his eyes when Clint got in back with the cat and let it sprawl in his lap. “You know we can’t keep it, Clint.”
“But, Phil. She needs us. And look how sweet she is.”
“Clint we live in the city, she deserves a nice habitat somewhere. What about the Central Park Zoo? We can visit whenever you want.”
Burying his hands in the leopard’s fur, Clint met Phil’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Okay.”
“Thank you, honey. I know some people at the zoo, I’m sure they’d be happy to let you spend some one on one time with Baby if we asked.”
“Thanks, Phil.”