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There’s only so much one man can reasonably be expected to endure when it comes to their loved ones. Leonard likes to think he has a pretty high threshold, but even he has his breaking point.
It’s actually a minor miracle that, between Jim and Spock, Leonard hadn’t reached that point much earlier than this.
For two geniuses, Jim and Spock are surprisingly dumb. They’re sitting there, staring at that cup in the middle of the table like there’s actually some kind of choice here. One thing that they just don’t seem to get, is that Leonard is used to making life or death decisions. Every damn time someone is in his med-bay, or on his table, he holds their life in his hands.
He’s lost track of how many times he’s held Jim and Spock’s life in his hands. He’s made this exact same decision over and over again; it’s all so damn routine that he doesn’t understand why they’re even pretending to debate this.
Leonard’s never once hesitated, and he sure as hell isn’t going to start now.
“Well bless your hearts,” Leonard drawls into the silence. This draws a frown from Jim, who actually knows what he’s getting at, and a curiously arched brow from Spock. “I’ll drink it of course.”
“Bones, wait-”
“Leonard, I feel I must protest-”
This time it’s Leonard who ignores the words of caution. He pushes aside their obvious concern for him and plucks the cup from the center of the table before Jim can snatch it instead.
He’s not going to stand by when he can do something. He’s not going to stare down at Jim’s lifeless body again, he’s not going to allow himself to face the same thing with Spock.
One thing his idiots just don’t seem to get is that he can’t be the one left behind, not again.
“Oh come now, Spock. Clearly you can see this is the logical choice,” he teases with a slight smirk, trying, as he always does, to hide behind his sarcasm. “The ship needs the captain, and Jim needs you to help think your way through the rest of this mess. You’ve already figured out this little puzzle. Besides, Chapel and M’Benga will be able to find an antidote, as long as your two aren’t sentimental idiots about this whole thing and finish this trial nonsense up nice and quick.”
Three cups, two with water, one with poison, all the liquid has to be drunk. Of course they can’t just leave that to chance, thus the single cup that Leonard holds in a slightly trembling hand.
“Bones! Don’t be an idiot. We’ll find another way, or I’ll drink it or-”
Leonard meets Jim’s eyes, and shakes his head. Spock is standing now, making his way over to Jim, and giving Leonard that look, the one that took him too long to figure out. The look that says without words, because of course the damned Vulcan couldn’t actually say what he’s feeling, that he trusts Leonard, and that he loves him.
“There’s no other way, darlin’, and we all know it.”
Jim shakes his head, and it looks like he’s about to lunge forward, but Spock places a hand on his shoulder.
“I’ve made this choice before, and I’m sure I’ll make it again. I don’t care ‘bout the consequences, I choose that you live.”
With one last look into Jim and Spock’s eyes, Leonard nods and raises the cup in silent salute. Then he tips the whole thing back. It burns on the way down, but he makes sure to drink every single last drop.
The cup drops from his hand with a dull clang.
Already his body is going numb.
“Bones! Dammit, Spock! Let me go!”
“Captain, Jim, we must go now. There’s still a chance-”
* * *
“Come on, Bones. Come on. If you die...if you die I swear I’m going to kill you.”
“You do realize that would be counter productive.”
Leonard groans softly. It feels like he’s breathing in fire, and his entire body feels like it weighs about ten times as much as usual, but he still manages to open his eyes. Jim and Spock are on either side of him, each holding a hand.
“Bones!”
“Leonard.”
All he can manage is a low growl, blinking stupidly up at them. He drank poison, he’d said there might be time to save him…he hadn’t actually thought- “Well fuck me,” he mumbles.
“Later,” Jim says softly, his grin a little shaky, but there none-the-less. “Dr. M’Benga says you need to rest for a few days first.”
“How-?”
“I took it upon myself to persuade our…hosts…that it was in their best interest to give us the antidote,” Spock explains softly, the hand holding Leonard’s twitching slightly and tightening its grip.
Jim sinks into the chair by his bed, and leans forward to press his forehead against Leonard’s. The familiar baby blues are bright with tears, and it looks like he’s gone and managed to get himself scraped up again, despite Leonard trying to prevent that very thing. “He beat them up,” Jim clarifies. “It was awesome.”
Leonard chuckles weakly, breaking into a cough and then a groan as his body protests.
“You’re never allowed to do that again,” Jim says sternly, squeezing Leonard’s hand even tighter than Spock is. “Promise me you’ll never do that again.”
“I must agree, Leonard. The thought of you dying is not one that I enjoy. I do not think I would handle the loss well at all.”
“Welcome to my world,” Leonard whispers. A wry smile twitches at his lips and he squeezes their hands.
He doesn’t promise. Every single time Leonard is faced with the choice, he knows that he’ll make the same damn decision when it comes to Jim and Spock: life.