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He had always felt so pressured and doused in darkness. So pressured by the fact he was the five time championship holder in the figure skating world. He was contented about it, sure, but he wanted something that could bring light into his realm. He needed something, no, someone. And, he found it in Japan, to be exact, at Hasetsu.
He found the light through the perfect movements of a skater that had decided to try his routine for “Stay Close to Me” and every expression, the look, the feeling, the hype, just everything about him. He looked so mesmerizing- it was as if this man was him skating through the ice. He was so precise with his movements, almost a complete replica of him.
The way he had ended it, the man’s face had rested, his facial expression of content had set his body feeling a little warmer. And, somewhere around the edges of his heart, something was tugging. It was beating faster than normal. He dropped the phone and brought his hand to his chest, clutching it.
What is this? My heartbeat is way too fast. What’s happening?
Victor tried to breathe slower and much more even. Even so, his hand grip on his shirt grew tighter and he couldn’t understand this foreign feeling. It felt so new, impacting and refreshing. Viktor had questioned his sexuality many times, often he had an attraction to men, was he possibly not straight?
When he had arrived at the onsen and seen the man, Katsuki Yuuri, himself- he was sure he felt so overwhelmed by the feelings crashing unto his heart. It was crazy- almost like a brawl. His face was so confused and so cute. He couldn’t help but smile at how much of a stuttering mess he was.
Yuuri- the man was like the touch of heaven. He was everything soft you could see, too pure and precious- Victor knew from the polite and humble movements he made. Yuuri drove him crazy, he was too kind, too cute, too much for his heart to handle.
He wondered whether he’d survive as a coach for Yuuri for the next few months. Victor was sure he had his self-control and heart in check.
Never in his life, had he made such a huge mistake. His heart was definitely telling him to flirt around this man; it was his nature, he should be able to refuse the urge, but oh god, everything about this skater- he was pushing him on the edge.
He didn’t even last a month; Victor was so attracted to him.
This was wrong- he was his coach, not someone to be seen as a man to be loved or even liked.
God damnit!
Yuuri was definitely going crazy. His heart was dancing around in circles and so were his rambunctious feelings. The man he had idolized was unbearably killing him from the inside. If the winks and the praise weren’t enough, he wondered how much longer he could hold out not breathing like a dying animal in front of him.
He didn’t deserve Victor Nikiforov to be his coach, he was the five time championship holder in the icy world of figure skating. What could he have seen in someone like him? He was just a mere person who had dreams of skating on the same championship ice as Victor.
But now, it was an everyday occurrence, it made him smile widely before he went to sleep and wonder how it had come to this. They’ve been getting closer where Yuuri would be comfortable sleeping on his shoulder and he’d find himself cuddled next to him the next morning. To where Victor would sometimes comb his hair for no reason after taking their nightly showers. To where he’d finally see Victor smile much naturally than he does during interviews.
He was human after all- he was too natural in everything he did. But sometimes, Yuuri would often think if Victor was just like him, someone who’d feel lonely at times or even degrade himself. He wondered if he suffered because of what situation he was in with Yuuri as of now. Yuuri thought that maybe he was just doing this out of pity for him- after all… he was placed last when he had last met the man in the Grand Prix.
Yuuri often felt like he was bringing down Victor with this training and coaching. He really did- even though he’d feel happy when he was seated next to him. Simple things they did together made him see him more of as a man and Yuuri knew it was wrong.
What he felt was all wrong and what Victor was doing could just be something that was making him fall down in his ranks of popularity.
Damn it, I shouldn’t be feeling like this! He’s just my coach- nothing else, okay Yuuri? Katsuki Yuuri, keep yourself in check or if not, you’re gonna regret it. Nothing else, he’s nothing else, okay? Okay. I got this.
The thing is, Katsuki Yuuri was never one to listen to his mind- his heart refused to let him at ease.
They skate, Victor moving so smoothly- so distracting for Yuuri, he bites his lip. Yuuri moves and copies him- they’re moving in patterns; their arms flexibly expressing emotion and their fingers curl.
Victor sucks in a deep, sharp breath as he watches the man skating so seriously and so expressive- it’s so mesmerizing that he almost stops in his place and takes his time to gaze a little longer. Soon enough he can feel eyes on his back and he knows Yuuri’s looking. His heart jumps as quick as the way he does before doing a triple Salchow.
Suddenly, he hears music flow through the air, it is Liebesleid’s Love’s Sorrow, he hasn’t skated to it before, but Victor would love to take up the challenge. He moves closer to Yuuri who has stopped moving since the music has started.
Victor moved behind his back, placing his hands onto Yuuri’s hips and Yuuri freezes stiff, blushing red. Victor was too close, his warm figure just behind him breathing against his nape. He shouldn’t be getting excited since they were going to do nothing special.
Just some totally classic music and Victor breathing down my neck- I’m fine. Totally fine. Totally. Oh god, his grip, oh no, oh no, this is bad, is he trying to kill me?! I’m trying to hold out here, Victor! Stop caressing my hips, damnit!
“Relax, Yuuri- just listen to the music. It’s just the two of us- no one else,” he repeats, “Just the two of us.”
They dance along to the music and it’s so natural- they’re freely skating, gliding and gliding and he’s never felt so complete. Yuuri feels like they’re the only ones in the world- he wishes time could stop and he could live forever in this moment. Just the music, the ice, the skates, the touching- just them.
No need for the complicated tricks, just them gliding across the ice as if it belonged to them, and them only.
As the music comes to a close end, they go in closer, and Victor takes the chance to pull him in closer. Yuuri, only a few centimeters from his chest and he takes the dare to look up and he sees feathers and smiles.
He sees Victor smiling down at him, his hands wrapping around his back, and it feels so painfully perfect. He wishes it wouldn’t end. Victor is too close and the warmth is unbearable, it’s burning through his shirt like the embers of fire. The intense gazing and drowning in each other’s’ eyes were sending electric shocks throughout every part of skin they were touching.
Yuuri blushes and so does Victor, although much lighter than Yuuri’s extreme tint of pink and red. Victor fully embraces him and places his head on Yuuri’s shoulder, his neck hurting a little from the slight height difference. Yuuri tries to raise himself a little higher and his heart- it’s running like crazy, it was as if a million people were rushing in line to get the last ticket for their favorite show.
His hands rested on Victor’s chest and he could feel Victor’s heartbeat. It was fast- almost as fast as his and it soon got a little too fast as Victor opened his mouth to say something.
Victor whispered into his ear, his breath hot, “Why must you make me suffer like this? I keep falling f-”
Yuuri broke, he knew it. This was it- Victor did really hate him. He was being brought down because of him. He pushed Victor away, their embrace broken and quickly skated to the exit. Victor followed him, confused from what has happened, he caught up and wobbling a bit he ran towards Yuuri.
He hugged him from the back and Yuuri was shaking- he was crying. Victor just knew- he needn’t see his face. Yuuri felt like breaking, he had to get it out, he swallowed and screamed out-
“I’ve loved you from the moment I first saw you. I’m so sorry for that. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I just can’t hide it anymore!”
What did Yuuri just say? Is what he was saying, true?
“Yuu-”
“You hate me right?! I know it’s all wrong, but I’m so sorry!” he struggled to get out of Victor’s hold, but it was too tight almost as if he didn’t want to let go. Victor held on, he wouldn’t let go- not now.
“Don’t be stubborn. I’m not letting you walk away like last time,” he told Yuuri as he pushed his way to the nearest wall, he turned Yuuri around only for him to pin his wrists on the wall. He was not letting him go away- not now. Not when he found something that had changed his life and smiles.
“Why must you make me suffer like th-”
“Shut up!” Yuuri screamed, scrunching his eyes close
“Let me finish damnit Yuuri!” he retorted back at him and his eyes were raged- Yuuri trembled as they soon turned into soft eyes, hoping.
“Why must you make me suffer like this?” he paused taking a deep and quite shaky breathe, “I just want to say that I love you too.”
Yuuri’s nerves calmed down- he looked at Victor who let go of his wrists and placed his right thumb onto his lips. Victor was looking for something in his eyes, his lips quivered as he tried to say his name.
“V-Vict-”
A light pressing of lips changed into a much deeper one, Yuuri melted within the kiss. It was so bitter but somehow as seconds passed it had turned sweeter. Victor’s arms were rubbing circles onto his back which melded into feather like caresses and holding. Yuuri’s hands were slowly finding its way to his hair, it was so soft, just like he had imagined.
Victor then started to kiss towards his neck, whispering with his warm breath, ‘I love you’ again and again. His hands moving towards Yuuri’s chest, he tried to pull it a little downward, revealing his collarbone. He nibbled on the side of it resulting in Yuuri hitching his breath and grasping unto his hair tighter.
“Relax, Yuuri~” he mumbled against Yuuri’s pale skin, flushed a little pink from the room’s temperature.
Trailing back upwards as he slipped his hand under Yuuri’s t-shirt, gaining access to his back, the cold touching his skin- it was tingling and even more so when Victor teased his fingers lightly against it. Yuuri felt so sensitive- the kisses, the heat, and the atmosphere was too much.
As he tried to open his eyes slightly, he found Victor nibbling onto the side of his ear and started mumbling Russian words.
“V-Victor, p-please…” Yuuri’s voice trailed off into a groan of pleasure.
“Yes?” he asked him lustily, his voice sending hot chills down his body. He felt like falling down from all that was happening, yet, Victor’s arms were supporting him.
“What does that mean?” he asked, his voice almost a moan that Victor appreciated quite well.
“That I, Victor Nikiforov, is in love with you,” he whispered into the air as he looked at Yuuri in the eyes.
Yuuri’s cheeks flushed a color of pink as he bit his lip nervously and as soon as Victor was to say another thing to melt him into a puddle, someone screamed their names out loud.
They shuffled off the skates and began to run to the place where they had left their belongings. They ran past her and soon enough, the skating rink was echoing a voice they knew too well. It was Yu-chan. They could hear her from the front doors screaming out-
“Hey you two lovebirds! Get out! Get a room of your own, this is a skating rink!”