Work Text:
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
This is my first attempt, and it's kind of an experimental thing. Let me know what you think. :)
Lost in Darkness
A hint of something darker behind those green eyes. Something a little sinister. Maybe nothing more than a lifetime of pain finally breaking through the surface, but I’d never seen it before. Somehow those eyes hold me, threatening to erode my self control, but I break away, hiding my confusion behind a familiar sneer. And the eyes shutter over, the darkness gone – or hiding.
Later I see him again. He’s alone this time, and while history suggests I should berate him in some way, I smile instead. A real smile. It feels strange on my face, and I hope the corridor is as empty as it seems, because no one should see this look on my face. No one should see me smiling at the boy wonder, my biggest rival, not like this, inviting something happy and useless. And now it is his turn to turn away in confusion, hiding those green eyes with their darkness showing again. I keep walking, wondering what’s come over me.
Somehow I don’t hate him any longer. The realization is startling, and perhaps unwelcome. I find myself wondering what kind of friend he’d make. His loyalty is impeccable. Could I convince him to give it to me?
I shake my head, mentally chiding myself. That way lay madness. He has nothing to give, not to me, and I don’t want anything from him.
But the next time I see him, see that strange new darkness in his eyes, I smile again. He tricks it out of me. What is this game? Why am I playing?
Late night, after curfew. I wander the halls, having escaped my cronies, whose company is somehow repellent to me just now, lost in thought and the vision of green.
Suddenly he’s there, seemingly out of nowhere, right in front of me, and there’s a brief moment when I could turn away, but I don’t, and that traitorous smile creeps back onto my lips. And he pushes me, his hands on my shoulders propelling me against a wall, and his voice is a low growl.
“What are you playing at?” And those eyes bore into me, and the darkness in them is more than a hint, and the pain and rage there take my breath away.
I swallow audibly, unable to pull away, lost in the green, and my voice is a whisper and doesn’t sound like me. “Bring me inside.”
And I don’t know why I say it, or even what it means, but his face twists like he’s going to cry, and I bring my hands up to touch him, and he’s so close to me, I can see a loose thread on the collar of his robes, and something springs up inside of me and then I lean over to brush my lips against his.
And for a moment he responds, before pushing roughly away and continuing down the hall without a backwards glance.
I stay leaning against the wall for a moment longer, breathing heavily and trying to school my treacherous face into something that won’t look so out of place. I can’t think about what’s just happened. I go straight to bed and slip into restless sleep, haunted by green, green eyes and soft lips.
Now I watch him all the time, barely caring about who’s looking or what they might think, but he ignores me as if I’m not even there. Somehow that only sharpens my inexplicable hunger, and I resolve that this stalemate shall not continue.
He has detention tonight. I wait, hidden around the corner, heart in my throat, waiting for him to come out. He passes by me without seeing me, and I grab at his hand. He looks at me in shock, and I think he’s going to pull away, but he stands there, my hand around his wrist, and just looks at me.
I’m drowning in those eyes, and I know I have to say something, but my mind is swimming and I can’t make sense of anything. My mouth works, but no sound comes out and he just stands there staring at me and I can’t think at all.
“I’m not in the mood for games.” He doesn’t sound angry, just tired, and I shake my head and finally find my voice.
“Not a game.”
“Then what?”
“I – ” And the words are gone again, and all I can do is stand here and tighten my grasp on his arm, and pull him closer, and kiss him again.
He doesn’t pull away this time, and his free hand creeps up to cup my face, and I wrap my arms around him and deepen this kiss, and his lips part under mine, and suddenly I’m pressed against the wall again, but the pressure of his body against mine is more important, and his tongue invades my mouth, and I moan softly before he pulls away, his green eyes staring into my own, and I’m not sure what he sees there, but he smiles, breathtakingly, and I’m entranced.
I wish I could find some words, and now he’s pulling me along down the hall, and I follow in his wake like a puppy and inwardly curse myself for being so foolish, for letting him get the upper hand, and we go through a door into an empty classroom. He lets go my hand, and just watches me. His eyes are so green, and his mouth smiles a little, just the corners turning up, and this is all so bizarre and I laugh.
He cocks his head at me, the tiniest bit of hostility creeping in. “What’s so funny?” And I can tell this is the end game; if I can’t make my voice come through and say something intelligible, he’ll leave again and this will be over. A part of me wants that, wants to go back to the simplicity of hate, but more of me wants him to stay, and somewhere I find words.
“You’ve undone me, and I don’t even care.” He looks puzzled, but at least not angry, and I shrug. I don’t know what else to say. His eyes are so green. I take a step forward.
“I haven’t done anything to you.” He doesn’t back away, and I move closer still, watching his eyes, and when I get close enough, I can see their darkness swirling, or is that just in my head?
“I know.” Finally we’re close enough to touch again, although we don’t.
“What do you want from me?” His eyes bore into me, and I finally know the answer.
“To be lost in your darkness.”