Chapter Text
At 5am, she turns to gold.
Alex has never cared for the sun until she met Kara.
Combing her fingers through Kara’s hair, she smiles indulgently at the slumbering superhero in her bed. Silky hair spun with gold tease her face and nose as she loosely wraps some of it around her fingers. Alex’s movements are slow and gentle, weighed down by residual sleep (and an unmovable Kryptonian.)
The two of them are surrounded by a sea of gunmetal sheets, and the color only serves to highlight just how radiant Kara looks when the early light of dawn creeps through the window. Poetry dances on the edge of Alex’s lips, but no matter how beautiful the words are, she knows it wouldn’t be the same to anyone else.
These soft, stolen moments are all she allows herself.
Kara inhales deeply before she actually wakes. Her eyes are still closed, but Alex sees the lazy smile forming.
“It’s too early for breakfast, go back to sleep,” Alex murmurs, assuming that’s what she was smelling for.
An amused chuckle rumbles languidly in Kara’s chest where Alex can feel it. “Not that…” Kara stretches, pushing around pillows and sheets.
“Hey,” Alex complains half-heartedly, feeling the chill set in without her covers. She moves to pull them back up, but Kara curls herself more fully against the brunette and tucks her smile against her neck.
“No moving, c’mere.” She giggles, resting her head on Alex’s shoulder and breathes deeply again.
Alex shouldn’t find it endearing, but she does. She has, ever since they were younger when Kara stopped burying her face into Alex’s neck when she was sad and lonely and then did it just because she wanted to. It’s been a while since any night terrors plagued her sister’s sleep.
Their legs are tangled in shadows where the sun has yet to reach, in fact, the light has barely illuminated her midriff where Alex’s shirt is riding up. Her stomach tightens at the cold, but it’s the touch of Kara’s bare arm draping across her skin that gives Alex goosebumps. Her fingers tighten minutely over Alex’s hip, and Alex knows without a doubt that the sleepy Kryptonian has heard her heartbeat quicken.
A quiet moment hovers over them.
Alex closes her eyes, trying to pretend the heavy pressure in her chest is nothing more than the weight of Kara’s head resting on her. The intimacy of this moment is almost more than Alex can endure. It’s so soft and fragile, and yet it burns inside of her.
She presses a kiss to Kara’s forehead and guilt consumes her.
One day, she will be gone, and Kara will be alone again.
Barely even thirty, and Alex has accomplished more than most people ever will in their lifetime. She is restless and ambitious. When Jeremiah Danvers taught his daughter to reach for the stars, he probably didn’t expect them to reach back for Alex.
Kara reaches.
Kara reaches for Alex in an all-consuming embrace and refuses to allow their lives to untangle. Kara has always reached for Alex when her night terrors grew too great or when her anxiety was too overwhelming.
Moving away from Kara doesn’t do anything.
It’s not the distance that matters. (Kara could fly to every corner of the Earth in minutes.)
It’s…this.
It’s selfishly craving lazy Sundays in bed with Kara while knowing the closer they get, the more Alex will hurt her when she passes. (On a battlefield of glory? In her sleep, old and frail? Tortured alone?)
She should be encouraging Kara to go out again, find herself someone to keep her company. (Maybe push her towards another galaxy. Other eligible alien bachelors have to exist, right?)
“Stop that,” Kara gently admonishes.
Alex peers down in surprise. “Stop what?”
“Whatever you’re thinking that’s making you sad.”
She gives the Kryptonian wrapped around her a suspicious look. “Are you scenting me again?”
She watches Kara pull up her shoulders slightly and shrink, caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. “Your pheromones are really strong…” She mumbles.
Alex gives her an exasperated sigh but moves her hand to thumb at the nape of the blonde’s neck, drawing her back out. “And you’re like a little puppy.” She jokes.
Overstepping social norms always makes Kara anxious and retreat into herself. On top of losing her entire planet, Kara also had childhood bullying to add on top of her trauma. When Alex found out how the kids at school were treating Kara, she got into more fights at school than the actual delinquents did. It was infuriating to know how strong the little blonde was, but she had to willingly make herself helpless to the ignorance and cruelty of children.
“…I had a dog.”
Alex blinks, stunned by this seemingly mundane admission. “I…pardon?”
Kara laughs softly against her neck. “I had a dog, Alex. You know, the four-legged, woof-woof critters?”
Alex rolls her eyes. “I mean, before you came to earth?”
“Mhm…his name was Krypto. He looked like a big white labrador retriever and every morning he would belly flop on me to wake me up. Smart, too.” Kara adds. Alex couldn’t see her face, but she could hear Kara’s wistful voice tinged with mourning.
“I had no idea…” Alex tells her softly, continuing to brush her thumb along the nape of Kara’s neck in comfort. In response, Kara curls closer.
“It’s okay, you wouldn’t have known.” Kara pauses, hesitating to voice her thoughts. “Do you…remember when you brought me back from the Black Mercy?”
Kara feels Alex stiffen underneath her and mirrors the soothing gesture she was receiving by thumbing over Alex’s hipbone. “When I woke up, I realized Krypto wasn’t there. My parents got him for me because they were occupied with matters of the state a lot. But in my…dream, my family had all the time in the world for me, so I guess Krypto wasn’t needed. My perfect fantasy…” She huffs a laugh, bitter and sad. “I bet if Krypto were there, he would have yanked me over to you and not let go until I heard what you had to say.”
“I’m glad I was convincing enough on my own.” Alex smiles wryly, unable to come up with anything more appropriate because of the sweeping sensation over her hip.
Kara nods seriously. “You are. It’s easier to talk about Krypton now that my home is with you.”
Alex wants to seize this opportunity and ask Kara more questions about her planet, but words are failing her. The unexpected amount of emotions that hit her from Kara’s declaration are overwhelming. She closes her eyes and presses her lips to the top of Kara’s head. “Always,” she promises with conviction. “You’ll always have a home in me for as long as I live.”
Kara’s breath comes shakily against her neck. “My parents would’ve loved you.” Her voice cracks in the middle of her confession. “They would have welcomed you into our family without a thought had I asked.”
Her words chase away Alex’s dark thoughts, and Alex wishes Kara’s parents were alive to give their approval as well.
“Rao,” Kara swears, her voice watery with her sorrow. “I just…I just wish you had the chance to see them as they were—not as some stupid plant hallucinations or AI construct!” Her tears run freely now, soaking into Alex’s shirt. “They were so much better than that, Alex! So much!”
“And you thought I was the one who was sad.”
Kara laughs through her tears, lightly swatting the side of her sister’s leg. “You are, you jerk! You just refuse to tell me, and here I am trying to pour my heart out, you emotionally-stunted super secret agent!”
Alex gapes at her but is ultimately unable to hold back her own laughter. “Don’t bring my work into this.” She dances her fingers along Kara’s sensitive side and grins at the surprised shriek and giggles it draws from her. Alex is forced to roll with Kara when her sister does to protect her side and ends up laying on top of the blonde.
“I am your work,” Kara declares as haughtily as she can with a smug smile. “So you have to do what I say and listen to me.”
Alex hears the slight waver of uncertainty in Kara’s voice and wonders if Kara knows how her vulnerabilities affect Alex. She knows she should move, but her traitorous mind whispers for her to be selfish. Kara obviously doesn’t mind laying flush underneath her sister, her golden hair splayed across pillows like sunrise. Her still watery eyes bring out the cosmic shade of blue unique to Kryptonians, and in Kara’s case, made of stardust and love.
Her heartbeat thuds painfully in her chest, and no amount of deflection or jokes will hold it at bay. She wonders if Kara knows how easily she can break Alex, not just physically but emotionally as well.
Kara’s sniff interrupts her thoughts. The blonde isn’t crying anymore, but sadness still remains in her eyes. Wiping the tears from her face, Alex then kisses the tip of her nose. “Tell me more about your parents then,” she suggests, steadfastly ignoring the ache in her own chest.
Kara looks up at Alex, searching her face for something without a name. Alex watches her lick her lips, at a loss for where to start now that she has the chance to pass on their memory.
“They…weren’t perfect,” she starts haltingly, “I know that. I don’t think Aunt Astra was lying about my mother. You saw her as a judicator in my…dream. She was very focused on bringing criminals to justice, even if it was her own version of justice.” Kara sighs, wrapping her arms around Alex. “I remember seeing her pace back and forth a lot in her study. My dad would rub her shoulders every night, because she acted like she carried all of Krypton on them. She would’ve liked that you work for the government.” She huffs out. “She never talked about any of her cool cases with me, just like someone I know...”
Alex looks away from Kara’s pointed stare with a nervous chuckle.
“Some things are still classified,” she protests weakly.
The indignant look becomes more of a pout. “I worry about you, Alex. How am I supposed to help if you’re keeping me in the dark?”
It’s an argument they’ve had a hundred times.
“Kara…”
“I know, I know.” She grumps. “They’re not your secrets to share.”
She wriggles under Alex to raise her finger in between their faces. “To be fair though, you always figure out secrets that aren’t mine to share.”
“You have no poker face,” Alex deadpans.
Kara pouts again.
“It’s not a bad thing,” Alex smiles, cupping the Kryptonian’s cheeks. “Your honest face makes it easy to find where you hide your Christmas presents.”
“Alex!” Kara whines, grabbing a pillow to thump her over the head with. It nearly dislodges Alex from her perch. “Serves you right,” Kara grumbles at her sister’s teasing laughter.
They settle into each other again after a few minutes.
“My dad would’ve liked you with your background in bio-engineering.”
“Oh?”
“I wanted to be a scientist like him. He and his brother were the head of the Science Guild, and Krypton was pretty much ruled by the Science Council anyway. They maintained everything from the air we breathed to the birthing matrix—”
“—Wait, what’s a birthing matrix?” Alex interrupts with furrowed eyebrows.
“Ah…”
“…Kara?”
“I…forgot Earth regards propagation in a vastly different light sometimes…um.” She clears her throat nervously. “Well, on Krypton, a thousand or so years ago…they decided to use clones to extend the life of Kryptonians, taking whatever organs they needed and all that.” Kara winces, checking Alex’s reaction. She had watched enough sci-fi movies with her sister to know the twisted and malevolent way earthlings viewed clones.
Alex, to her credit, didn’t even blink. “Okay…?”
“And, uh…long story short, it didn’t go so well. They realized the clones were sentient and scrapped the system.”
“Oh my god.”
“Wha—what?” Kara looks panicked. “What is it? I know it’s a really different concept to wrap your head around, but I swear it’s not like my people did it with evil intentions, and we’re really not freaks—”
“—No, Kara. Relax. It’s not that.” Alex smiles reassuringly. “I was just thinking that cloning humans is still nothing more than science fiction on earth, and meanwhile, you’re telling me cloning people is ancient technology on Krypton. It’s amazing. It’s also not my place to judge your culture. You know that, right?”
Kara breathes a sigh of relief. “Rao, Alex. You scared me.” Her eyes close, needing a moment. Her hands find the dimples on Alex’s lower back and dips her fingers inside of them one by one to focus her frazzled mind.
Alex prays for strength and reminds herself that Kara is her sister.
“So. Clones. Gone. What happened next?” She prompts Kara.
“Oh!” Kara brightens, looking more excited to share her forgotten world with Alex now that she knows Alex won’t judge her. “Since we were pretty much immortal at that point, our world…didn’t leave a lot to chance. Most importantly, there wasn’t a lot of job turnover, if you know what I mean.”
Alex nods at Kara’s expectant gaze to let her know she is listening.
“We began to need people to fill very specific roles, and we realized that traditional births wouldn’t always guarantee the individual would grow up with all the right traits necessary to fill the roles needed by our society. Enter…the birthing matrix.” Her announcement is dramatic and as dorky as she is, complete with the sound effects she makes herself.
Raising an eyebrow at Kara’s silly antics, Alex translates, “so genetically-engineered Kryptonians.”
Kara looks up at her with starry eyes. “You’re so smart. How did I ever get so lucky?” She pretends to wipe a tear away.
“I think they engineered you with about twenty percent more sass than necessary.” Alex flicks Kara’s nose with her finger lightly.
Kara scrunches her nose and giggles in response.
“So you’re literally designed to be perfect.” Alex drawls, inwardly congratulating herself on falling in love with a genetically modified marvel. A+, Danvers. You sure know how to set yourself up for failure.
Kara looks mildly uncomfortable with that assessment. “Kind of? Like, it wasn’t uncommon to strip away any vulnerabilities to diseases we knew existed, or disorders,” she added more quietly, “but the most significant part was that people were born knowing their role in society. Our lives were predetermined depending on our parents’ roles in society.”
“How does it actually work?” Alex asks curiously.
“Uh…less of the birds and the bees, and more of like extracting genetic material and gestation chambers?”
“Hot.”
Kara blushes, shifting underneath Alex. “It can be. Some couples like to celebrate their union through more traditional methods. But most go through the birthing matrix and let their children grow inside until they’re of age to get the best start in life.”
Alex arches an eyebrow at the reaction she got. “Some couples? Does that mean just men and women, or…?”
Kara shakes her head. “Any combination, really. I remember the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen had been the product of four individuals. She told me herself. Just…wow.”
Alex chuckles in amusement. “It’s hard to imagine even more beautiful Kryptonians…polygamy isn’t frowned upon on Krypton then?”
“Eh…” Kara purses her lips. “I wouldn’t say that. Houses were still expected to merge and combine prestige through marriage. They were seen as sacred unions, and divorce was absolutely out of the question. I mean, you had to stand right on the Jewel of Truth and Honor, swearing up and down to love this person for all of time and space, even unto eternity….” Her voice dropped a few octaves at the end for dramatic effect.
“Then no one cares what you do until you get married?”
“Yep,” Kara nods. “What individuals do is less important than what the overall houses do, because of the way our society was structured. If you think of corporations or businesses merging, it’d be similar to that.”
“But the House of El was pretty high up there, right? Your dad and Clark’s dad were both top dogs on the Science Council, ruling Krypton and all that.”
“Yeah…” Kara answers hesitantly.
“Then does that make you Kryptonian nobility?” Alex tilts her head.
Kara avoids her eyes. “O-of course not. We banished trifling caste systems like royalty thousands of years ago.”
“Really.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…Kara.”
“Y-es…?”
“…Are you a Kryptonian aristocrat?”
“No!” Kara protests vehemently, shooting up into the air. Literally.
Surprised, Alex is flipped onto her back ungracefully from Kara’s sudden escape, tangled in the sheets of her bed as an embarrassed alien slowly floats back down.
“I’m nothing like those arrogant, smirky, power-hungry elitists who refuse to acknowledge any other deities than Rao.” The blonde huffs, sitting on Alex’s hips with her arms crossed. “I’ll have you know they thought joining the Science Guild and the Artists Guild was silly, but I swear, if I had to see another one of their ugly buildings again…ugh! I never would have married a single one of them. If Kal-El was born first, I wouldn’t have had to deal with those…swarmy xenophobes! Architecture is more than just function, you know!”
Alex blinks up at the blonde, too distracted to decide what parts of her rant to address. She’s losing her fucking shit at how Kara’s backside feels to be cradled between her hips, soft heat combined with an alluring pressure. Ethically, she should stand against eugenics on principle, but Kara is a genetically engineered dream straddling her, Jesus fucking Christ. Alex’s weak, human heart could only take so much. She’s thankful to have chosen a pair a sweatpants to wear to bed rather than shorts like Kara has.
“Pancakes?” She chokes out.
“Yes!”
Alex blinks against the gust of wind that signals Kara’s disappearance into the next room. Sighing, Alex turns off her alarm that was supposed to let her sleep in for another two hours and drops down to the floor to run through her morning routine.
She has a lot more energy to burn off during her push ups today.