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It started with Kíli’s trousers. In retrospect, Fíli really ought to have noticed earlier, but that was part of the problem.
As it turned out, being princelings in exile was entirely different from being Princes of Erebor. They had both been run near ragged in the months since they had retaken their kingdom. Thorin generally kept Fíli close during negotiations and diplomacy with Men, Elves, and other Dwarves, and the rest of his time was quite taken up with what had once been Thorin’s role, overseeing the guard and their training. He had been doing his best to be visible in all things, to be seen as the young, strong, and dutiful Crown Prince. This meant he had rather more spectators than he was used to when he personally trained the young guards in the training ring, but Thorin and Balin seemed pleased with his results so he supposed it was worth it.
Kíli, meanwhile, was now forced to make up for his inattention in their lessons in Ered Luin. He spent whatever free time he had shut up in the library, familiarizing himself with laws he had never cared for when Fíli was memorizing them. His official duties had him overseeing the household accounts of the Court, which had turned out to be a much more grueling undertaking than either of the brothers had anticipated. He had to do much figuring to make sure they had the right supplies in the right amounts, to keep everyone fed and clothed and housed. He’d complained a few times how tedious and boring it was, but he’d not made a mistake yet. What Fíli suspected had begun as a way of keeping a still-healing Kíli busy had become a job he was well enough suited for, even if he didn’t particularly enjoy it.
As a result, they had not had much time alone together really since they had both healed after the Battle of the Five Armies. They fell into bed together at night, most days barely bothering to remove their outer garments. They hadn’t had time for more than hands on pricks, over quick and mostly-clothed, when they bothered to get each other off at all.
All things considered it wasn’t really so much of a surprise that the first time Fíli was really conscious of the changes in his brother’s body was early one morning when Kíli had risen first and begun to dress.
Fíli was awoken by a grunt and a hastily muffled swear. He lifted his heavy head and blinked his bleary eyes, and managed to focus on Kíli, some feet from their bed and in the midst of dressing. He was shirtless and his back was to Fíli, so there was really no other option than for Fíli’s gaze to linger for a moment on the half-naked body before him.
Had Fíli been fully conscious, he might have noticed that Kíli’s muscles were no longer so sharply defined against his skin, that his shoulder blades and spine no longer stood out, that there was a softness to his shoulders that had not been there before.
But Fíli was not yet entirely awake, and so what first caught his attention was the far more arresting sight of Kíli’s ass and hips. They were far more generous than he remembered. There was a soft and, to Fíli’s mind, inviting curve to his hips, the perfect shape for Fíli’s hands to cup around, and his ass, Mahal.
Kíli’s ass had absolutely gotten, well, bigger. There was no way Fíli would have missed how tightly his trousers clung to it, even under that long coat he wore. There was no way he could have possibly kept himself from groping such an ass at every available opportunity. The word luscious sprang to mind. He was abruptly sorry that they had both been so busy lately and he hadn’t gotten the chance in recent memory to take his little brother from behind, to bottom out inside him and press tight against him, feeling the give of the ample flesh there.
Then Kíli turned a bit, giving Fíli a good look at his silhouette. Fíli was utterly unprepared for the bolt of lust that went through him when he got a good look at Kíli’s stomach of all things. Growing up in Ered Luin, there had never been quite enough to completely satisfy. Oh, they had never starved, but times had been hard enough. Then their training had picked up, and the Quest, so they were constantly active. The last time Fíli could really recall them getting naked together and enjoying one another was just before the Battle. And then, Kíli’s stomach had been flat and ridged with muscle.
Now, the muscles of his abdomen were no longer visible. Indeed, there was a bit of a belly there, an almost delicate-looking outward curve. Fíli’s mouth went dry, and he had a sudden vision of pressing Kíli down onto his back and biting that soft flesh, the keens Kíli would make.
And then he had to go and ruin it. In his own defense, he was still half-asleep with wits not yet fully functional. So when he finally noticed Kíli’s trousers sitting much lower on his hips than they should, lacing straining and cutting into Kíli’s newly ample flesh, he thought nothing of calling out a sleepy, “You’ve gained weight, brother. See to getting some new clothes.”
And had Fíli been fully aware, he might have noticed Kíli’s flinch, might have fully appreciated the defensiveness in his actions as he pulled a loose tunic over his head, the tension in his voice coupled with the annoyance as he answered, “Not all of us have the extra time to train every day, brother.”
Fíli blinked in confusion, pulling himself out of bed. “Are you mad at me?”
Kíli wouldn’t look at him. “Of course not,” he said dismissively. He walked over to the door with long strides, pulling on his coat as he went. “I’ve got to oversee the morning deliveries from Dale,” he called over his shoulder. And he walked out without another word. Fíli stared after him with a sinking feeling, trying to piece together what he had done wrong.
~*~
Fíli hadn’t thought that with both of their busy schedules it could even be possible to see less of Kíli than he had before. As it turned out, it was entirely possible if Kíli actively avoided him. He caught no more than a passing glance of Kíli for days and days. Kíli had even taken the drastic measures of finding somewhere else to sleep, avoiding their rooms entirely, at least whenever Fíli was present.
Fíli’d at least managed to figure out what was wrong, more or less. He suspected Kíli disliked the changes in his body, perhaps was even ashamed based on how he seemed to be hiding himself under the largest tunics he owned. He was a bit worried Kíli might be skipping meals, as he hadn’t seen him at the table with the rest of them since that morning he had apparently offended his brother, but Bombur assured him Kíli was eating in the kitchens because he was “too busy” to come to the Hall for the long mealtimes.
After nearly two weeks of avoidance, of wanting to give Kíli his space and allow him to talk when he was ready, Fíli snapped. Kíli was hurting, and Fíli had never been able to stand that. He wanted to take his little brother in his arms and assure him he was fine, he was perfect, he was beautiful. That he had nothing—nothing—to be ashamed of.
It had taken long years of assurance to convince Kíli that he was desirable, that even though he did not have the build typical to a dwarf Fíli still wanted him. That even though he was relatively narrow across the shoulders and chest Fíli would never dream of looking at another. So it was utterly galling to Fíli that now, when Kíli was putting on weight and frankly looking a bit more like a typical dwarf, Kíli would withdraw again. He was tired of waiting. He would solve this problem between them whether Kíli wanted to or not.
But even when Fíli started actively searching for Kíli, trying to talk to him, Kíli still froze him out. He might catch him in the corridor, but Kíli would be horribly, coldly polite if he was forced to speak, and otherwise did not even look at Fíli.
The absolute worst thing was the tantalizing glimpses Fíli caught of Kíli’s body through his clothes, now that he knew where to look. While still legitimately busy, Fíli found that he could get away for stolen moments more easily than he had thought if he delegated some responsibilities. He followed his brother more closely, looking for an opportunity to actually have a conversation with him.
Finally he managed to find such an opportunity. Lurking around the library one night, he caught sight of Kíli getting up to put his books away, but held back for a moment to watch him. For once his brother was not wearing the loosest tunic he could possibly find. It was still a bit of a surprise, how quickly and violently the wave of lust struck him when he saw the way Kíli’s belly pressed out slightly against the fabric. He watched hungrily as Kíli stood, bending over the table to gather the books he’d been reading. His tunic rode up a bit in the back, revealing his pants stretched tight over his backside.
It wasn’t so long ago that Fíli would have felt welcome to walk over and press himself against Kíli’s back, to nudge his erection against Kíli’s clothed ass, even to take him there if they were sure there was no one around. But Kíli would not welcome his touch now, he knew.
Fíli watched as Kíli put the books away, just managing to bite back a moan when Kíli stretched up to put a book on a shelf above his head. His shirt rode up, giving Fíli a flash of the pale, soft-looking flesh of his lower belly, pushing out a bit against the waist of his trousers.
Oh, Fíli burned to touch his brother again, to show him exactly what he thought of his body and the way it had changed.
And standing around in the dark staring at his brother like a lovesick fool was not going to get him any closer to achieving that. He took a deep breath, looked around again for anyone who might overhear, and moved forward as silently as he could.
He came within a few feet of his brother before calling his name. Kíli whipped around and Fíli stepped into his personal space, arms on either side of his head, physically pinning him to the bookcase. Kíli held the two books he had yet to put away between them like a shield.
“You’ve been avoiding me, Kíli,” Fíli said, staring into his brother’s eyes, which were wide open in something like panic.
“I haven’t,” Kíli croaked out, pressing back further against the bookshelf at his back, obviously trying to keep from touching Fíli. “We’ve both been busy.”
“You’re not sleeping in our bed,” said Fíli, and he had meant that to be neutral, just a statement of how things were, but it hurt him deeply and apparently some of that hurt had bled through into his voice judging by the stricken look Kíli was now giving him. He pressed on, “You won’t speak to me, you won’t be in the same room as me, you’ll barely even look at me. Please, I just want to apologize. I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You know how I hate to see you unhappy. Please tell me how I can make it up to you.”
Kíli couldn’t seem to look away from Fíli’s eyes. “You haven’t done anything wrong,” Kíli said, “I guess I was just…I was hoping that I could get back to training, could get back to the way I was, before you noticed. I didn’t want you to have to pretend to want me like this.”
Fíli blinked. “Pretend? You really think that I don’t want you? Kíli, you’ve put on a few pounds, you haven’t transformed into Bombur. And honestly, I’d probably still want you even if you had. I love you. You’re my One. And I’ll tell you a secret,” he said, leaning in closer, “I kind of like it.”
Kíli looked skeptical. “Do not dare lie to spare my feelings,” he snapped.
Fíli chuckled a bit. “I’m not. It surprised me, to be honest, how much I wanted to touch you, to explore you,” he smirked, leaning closer and trapping the books quite tightly between them, “to fuck you.”
And he leaned in slowly, ready to stop if Kíli wanted him to, and kissed him slowly and relatively chastely. Kíli didn’t respond for a moment, but finally Fíli felt him kiss back. Fíli shifted his arms, so that he was holding Kíli instead of trapping him, one hand tilting his head and the other coming down to settle on his hip, and he squeezed slightly.
Kíli flinched. Just a little, and he didn’t pull away, but still. Fíli pulled back, looking at his brother in concern, and Kíli managed to look guilty for his reaction. Fíli considered for a long moment, and finally made up his mind. “All right. If I’m going to reassure you properly, I’ll need more time and space. I’ll arrange a free evening for us, and I can show you exactly what I think of your body. Will you accept?”
Kíli gave Fíli another skeptical look, but finally nodded. “All right then,” he said. “I’ll trust you.”
Fíli smiled. “Now will you please come to bed?” he asked. “I’ve missed you.”
That got him a real smile, and Kíli’s consent. And if he lingered to watch as Kíli stretched to put the last two books away, well, who could blame him?
~*~
It was a few days before Fíli could arrange things to give the both of them a free evening. In the end, he had to approach Balin and Dwalin directly and ask that he might have just a bit of time with his lover. He endured their laughter and teasing, and was rewarded with Balin promising to take over the accounts for an afternoon and deal with any emergencies, and Dwalin promising he would oversee the guard.
Their responsibilities taken care of, Fíli approached Kíli. He had never before felt so unsure and nervous when approaching his brother; not even their first time. Things had always seemed so right and natural between them that Fíli had never felt the need for nerves.
But apparently he had gotten too complacent. He had not realized that something was bothering Kíli, and his carelessly spoken words had caused pain to his brother. He didn’t think he had been the cause of his brother’s pain before, or at least not since they had both gotten through adolescence and found that their affection and desire was mutual.
But now Kíli was doubting him, doubting them. Fíli had to fix this. Kíli’s happiness depended on Fíli fixing this.
So really, the stakes had never been higher.
And all of that meant that he was quite nervous when he approached Kíli after the midday meal, glad that his brother had apparently decided to join the rest of them at mealtimes again.
“Kíli!” he hailed the other, taking his arm when he paused and pulling him aside to a quieter corridor.
“Fíli, what’s going on? I have things I need to do. You have things you need to do. What is it?”
“Kíli, will you…will you do me the honor of joining me in our chambers tonight?”
Kíli stared at him as though he were questioning Fíli’s sanity. “I was planning on it, yes,” he said slowly.
“No, I mean—you remember a few days ago, in the library?” He grinned a bit at Kíli’s blush. “I told you I needed…time. And I’ve managed to get some time set aside for us. Just us.”
And now Kíli’s face was positively luminescent. “I-I don’t…What if something happens, what if I’m needed?”
“Balin will be taking over you responsibilities until tomorrow. And Dwalin will be taking over mine. So we’ll have the evening for ourselves.”
Now Kíli was biting his lip, pulling Fíli’s attention to his mouth. “I…well…if you’re sure,” Kíli muttered, looking down.”
“Positive,” Fíli whispered, nudging Kíli’s chin up so he could give into temptation and kiss his lover. He kept it chaste, but slipped a hand around to the small of Kíli’s back and pulled him close. Oh, he had missed this.
But Kíli broke it off, pulling away from Fíli. Fíli couldn’t help the stab of hurt at that, but looking at Kíli’s once again downturned face he realized it was still down to Kíli being ashamed of his own body. Well. Tonight would fix that.
~*~
He approached Kíli after the evening meal was done, taking hold of his hand and softly, wordlessly urging him to follow. After a moment of hesitation, Kíli went willingly enough. Fíli led him through the corridors to their room, not speaking the entire time.
Fíli paused at the door, turning to face Kíli. He felt suddenly shy, but met his little brother’s eyes. “Kíli, you know you don’t have to do this?” And as he had feared, Kíli’s eyes widened with surprise and hurt, so he hurried on, “I only mean I know I had to convince you to be here tonight, and I know you’re not completely comfortable. I want…” He trailed off, frustrated, but Kíli smiled softly.
“I know, brother,” he said, softly but with bedrock certainty. Kíli reached past him and pushed their door open, pulling Fíli in after him.
Small as Kíli’s action had been, it had reassured Fíli immensely. But it seemed one or the other of them was bound to be uncomfortable and unsure, because as soon as Kíli stepped into the room and came face-to-face with their bed, he lost whatever confidence or bravado he had, and seemed to fold in on himself once more, arms crossing over his chest defensively.
But Fíli had his confidence back, and finally he thought he knew what he had to do. He smirked and kissed his brother deeply, coaxing his tongue out to play. Slowly Kíli unfolded his arms, slipping his arms around Fíli’s waist. Fíli, in turn, took the opportunity to reach down and finally get his hands on Kíli’s ass. He grabbed with both hands and squeezed. Kíli actually, truly yelped, and Fíli chuckled. But as satisfying as it was to finally be able to touch his brother freely again, Kíli still carried far too much tension.
Fíli stroked gently along Kíli’s sides for a few moments, easing back and getting lost in kissing Kíli for a bit. Slowly, Kíli started to relax, and Fíli eased his hands under Kíli’s tunic. As he had suspected, his hands perfectly fit the curves of Kíli’s hips. He let them settle there for a moment, just rubbing gently with one thumb, as he kissed his brother.
When Kíli didn’t tense up again, he got a little more daring, inching his hands lower. Kíli’s trousers were a bit too tight for him to slide his hands under the waistline easily, and Fíli knew it must be at least uncomfortable if not quite painful to keep them on. So, his next goal: getting Kíli undressed.
Fíli brought his hands back under Kíli’s tunic, working it up over Kíli’s head. He worked slowly, with a gently touch, but when he was done Kíli started closing in on himself again. He turned away from Fíli, hunching his shoulders in and crossing his arms across his midsection. Fíli stepped closer, reaching out to turn Kíli’s face towards him once again.
“Don’t hide from me,” Fíli said softly. “You’ve never hidden anything from me before. Why would you start now?”
“You…you wanted me before,” Kíli said softly. “I didn’t quite understand why, but you did. I was scrawny with narrow shoulders and you wanted me. And now I…I don’t look like I did.” Kíli turned to face Fíli once more uncrossing his arms and spreading them slightly, putting his body on display.
Fíli took a step back and stared. His eyes traced over Kíli’s body, the softness layered over the solid muscles Fíli knew were still there in his chest and arms, the newer curves of his belly and hips. It was…inviting. There was really no better word for it. All of Kíli’s sharp angles were softened, the harshness of his beauty gentled by the stability and plenty of finally having a home. But most importantly… “You’re still you. You’re still the dwarf I fell in love with. You’ve got the same smile, the same laugh, if I can ever coax either of them out of you again. The same heart. I love you, Kíli, and I think you’re beautiful. I told you before, in the library, I’ll always think you’re beautiful just because you’re you.”
Kíli stared into his eyes, biting his lip apprehensively. “I…I want to believe you…”
Fíli grinned, stepping into Kíli’s personal space once more. “Let me show you,” he purred. At Kíli’s hesitant nod, he fell to unlacing Kíli’s trousers, fingers sure and dexterous. Once unlaced, he helped Kíli to peel them off. There was a fair bit of wriggling involved, which Fíli was quite appreciative of. Then he walked his younger brother backwards to their bed.
Fíli pressed Kíli down on the bed, focusing on the angry red marks his trousers had left on his belly. He ran his tongue over one scarlet mark near Kíli’s hip, and smirked at his brother’s broken cry. He looked up and caught Kíli’s eye, schooling his face to seriousness.
“I don’t like the idea of marks on your body that I didn’t put there,” he said gravely, running his fingers gently over the marks. Kíli stared at him with wide eyes, breathing hard, just this side of panting. “That’s why,” Fíli continued, “I mentioned you getting new clothes a few weeks ago. And I’m sorry I didn’t explain myself better then. I’m sorry I let you leave thinking that I didn’t want you. Because I do,” he said, leaning up to kiss Kíli again, shifting a hand to splay against his belly. “I want you so much. I will always want you. In fact”—he smirked, leaning further closer to Kíli to murmur in his ear, now pressing Kíli down against the bed with his own body, loving the feeling of Kíli solid and there against him—“I didn’t think it was possible to want you more than I already did, but you’ve managed it. It drives me utterly wild to see you like this, you know.”
“Wh-what?” Kíli stuttered out, breathless and wide-eyed in shock and arousal.
Fíli grinned and pulled back so he was sitting on his heals between Kíli’s legs, staring at his brother spread out before him. He urged Kíli to turn over, pulling him up to his hands and knees. He stared at the picture his baby brother made, all that flesh laid out before him, flushing a gorgeous dark pink. There was a new difference, as he did not recall seeing Kíli’s skin blush so easily before, and that was a sight he would have remembered.
Fíli knelt behind his brother and grabbed his ass, pulling his checks apart just slightly. Not enough to display his opening, not yet, but enough to tease. He marveled at the way the flesh filled his hands, and addressed his brother once more. “By Mahal, Kíli, you’re so very generous,” he said, giving a slight squeeze and provoking a moan. “Can you feel that, I wonder? Do you know what it does to me, to have so much to play with?
Kíli whined a bit, not looking back at him, but Fíli could see how his ears and neck flushed, not with the pink of arousal but with the darker red of embarrassment. “I love it,” he assured his brother. “I love how your ass overflows my hands, I love how it gives when I squeeze, and I love thinking about how it’ll give when I fuck it.”
“Get on with it then,” Kíli said, glancing back with the hint of a smirk on his lips.
Fíli grinned. Apparently he was getting through to his stubborn little brother. “If you insist,” he murmured, stretching over to the bedside table for the oil he had earlier made sure would be there. Much as he would have loved to rush the prep along, it had been months. If Kíli wanted to walk tomorrow, he would have to be patient.
And take his time Fíli did. He circled and prodded with one finger at first for several long minutes, then two, waiting for Kíli to be fully adjusted before giving him any more despite the cursing and moaning from his little brother. He took his time, and slowly Kíli’s body gave and opened for him once more.
Fíli pressed inside with one long, slow, steady thrust. Kíli wailed, throwing back his head, as Fíli bottomed out. And Fíli was quite pleased to find that he had been right; he pushed forward, feeling the give against his thighs as Kíli’s body accommodated him. It felt somehow more intimate than it had before, even in this position where he could not see his brother’s face. It felt as though he were somehow getting closer.
Fíli reached down below and ran his palm over Kíli’s belly, a long slow stroke from his sternum to the root of his cock. He settled his hand at the curve of his lower belly, and squeezed. Kíli moaned and wriggled a bit, and Fíli’s hips stuttered before he could hold himself back. “C-careful,” Fíli gritted out, “Been awhile. Don’t wanna hurt you.”
“Don’t tease,” Kíli snapped back, annoyance clear in his tone. Fíli chuckled and obligingly lifted his other hand to Kíli’s abandoned cock, taking him in hand as he began fucking his little brother in earnest. He kept his thrusts shallow and slow at first, but he sped up quickly enough when Kíli started cursing at him again.
Fíli kept his hand on Kíli’s belly throughout. He alternated stroking and squeezing in time to his thrusts, wanting Kíli to begin to associate such touches—such attention—with pleasure, to know that Fíli was entirely aware of Kíli’s body and how it looked as he was fucking him, to realize he didn’t have to be ashamed.
And it wasn’t as though Fíli didn’t get anything out of it; he was fascinated by the feel of Kíli’s belly under his hands. Kíli’s skin seemed softer, but it wasn’t entirely smooth. His exploring fingers found patches of raised bumps, and even as he found his pleasure in Kíli’s body he longed to explore it more thoroughly. As thrilling as it was to get to know his lover’s body again, he hated the idea of not knowing something about Kíli or Kíli’s appearance.
Kíli let out an especially sharp cry, and Fíli grinned in triumph. Found it. He angled his thrusts carefully after that, trying to hit the spot again. He increased the pace of his thrusts again, stroking Kíli harder and faster as he did. It was not long before Kíli was sobbing his completion, and Fíli followed after a few thrusts. He paused to catch his breath for a few long moments still inside Kíli, stroking along his side and down his belly to calm him, until he pulled out and went over to the pitcher and basin on the other side of the room. Kíli flopped over on the bed gracelessly.
As Kíli lay on his back gasping, Fíli padded back to bed with a dampened cloth. He’d given his own body a few cursory swipes, and fell to ensuring Kíli was also tidied from their exertions. Kíli allowed him to poke and prod, and even shift a few of his limbs, and then went willingly enough when Fíli urged him under the coverlet. Fíli silently apologized to the servants tasked with their laundry as he discarded the soiled blanket and joined his brother in bed.
Fíli settled next to Kíli, lying on his side and facing his younger brother, who was stretched out once more on his back. Hesitantly, Fíli reached out and touched Kíli’s hand. “Do you believe me now?” he asked softly.
Kíli gave a rather cheeky grin. “Yeah, I think so. Might need to do this again to be absolutely sure,” he answered, making Fíli grin in response. Sobering, he added, “I’m sorry I snapped at you the other week. I know you meant no offense.”
“Just get some clothes that fit,” Fíli answered, too tired now to be circumspect. “You’ve looked uncomfortable these past weeks. If you do I can get you on the training schedule if you like. I want you to be happy.”
Kíli hummed in response, already half asleep, though he did pull Fíli closer so they were snuggled together as they drifted off. As Fíli lost himself to sleep he couldn’t help but think here was another unexpected benefit of Kíli’s weight gain: he was much more comfortable to sleep pressed up against.