Chapter Text
Dean was zoned out to the familiar humming of the Impala and the feeling of asphalt under her tires. The sun cast a dull glow over the empty forest road, just enough to make for a pleasant dusk drive on this late summer day. There was no destination, no goal, only Baby and an endless road on a perfect evening. This was perhaps his favourite kind of dream. Well... second favourite.
A smile tugged at his lips as he heard the familiar rock music become scrambled by static. It had just turned into his favourite. With the flutter of his wings, an angel in a trench coat appeared in the passenger seat. Dean turned his head to meet the blue eyes he loved drowning in. He could feel his heart skip a beat as Castiel said 'Hello Dean' in that deep heartfelt tone of his.
He wouldn't tell a soul, but he could swear he saw Cas' halo glowing against the occasional ray of sunlight that escaped the trees' thinning deck of brightly coloured leaves. Dean shook his head and grinned stupidly at his dash.
"Hey, buddy." He spoke softly and grabbed Cas' hand in his own. It took a lot of control not to laugh at the angel's usual confused frown.
What he wouldn't give for this to be real. How long had it been since he’d started dreaming about Castiel? How long had he, even in his dreams, refused to admit what he longed for? If only he had the courage to tell him, in the real world where... he wasn't sure his feelings were reciprocated. He wasn't deaf, he knew what people around them said, but still... He was secretly so afraid of being wrong.
"Hey Cas, there's something I want to tell you." Dean started, stumbling over his words. Cas remained silent and nodded encouragingly. "You remember that time in the crypt, where you said I snapped you out of your brainwashing?"
The muscles in Cas' face tensed as the memory brought forth an expression of pain mixed with a sad fondness. "Every last second. I'll never forget what Naomi almost made me do." Cas squeezed Dean's hand subconsciously. A small gasp escaped the hunter's lips. After so many happy endings in his dreams, he was still so sensitive to his angel's touch. "What about it, Dean?"
It took a few seconds for Dean to snap back into action. What had he been saying again? "Ah, yes, uhm... I said that you were family and that we-I needed you..." Cas looked at him expectantly, almost like a puppy with those eyes. "The thing is, all I really wanted to say was..." The last few words got stuck in his throat, and he bit his lip in frustration.
Dean pulled over the Impala when they passed a look-out bay watching over the valley. The sudden break in the forest gave way to hills of long pale grass with a view of the unruly distant ocean. They exited the car and leaned against her. Their hands lingered when they pulled away and quickly found each other again on the hood of Baby.
As Dean remained silent, Castiel took in the beautiful world the hunter had created in his dream. He concluded it was a lucid dream, considering how convenient this stop had approached, just as Dean needed a place to talk.
Visiting dreams was nothing new to the angel, but he was still overwhelmed every time. Humans imagined such vividly detailed things and that while resting. It was hard not to notice the symbolism, the reference to the individual's life. It was tempting to surrender to the fantasy. He enjoyed journeying other's dreams more than he ever did his own when he was human. They had been nightmares and the foreign process of falling asleep left him more exhausted than the scarce hours could ever make up for. No, he felt much more comfortable in the safety of someone else's dream. He could leave at any given time.
With Dean it was different, he had to push himself to leave before Dean woke up. Their relationship was already complex enough to have to explain himself standing in his room in the morning. It was more than inappropriate to intrude on his friend's dreams and he'd surely ward his room if he found out.
He looked for any way to comfort the hunter, encourage him to speak somehow. He cursed his lack of human skills for the 3784th time. The only word he found was "Dean?". His eyes scanned Dean's soul until those forest green eyes found his. The expression on the hunter's face was one Cas did not understand. There was a cold fear in Dean's eyes as well as a fire brighter than he'd ever seen him have. Dean couldn't stop licking his lips as though the words would flow out easier that way.
Cas kept studying him, brows furrowed, eyes squinting. He was so focused that he didn't notice Dean closing the distance between them until his warm lips were on his. He froze in confusion. What threw him off wasn't kissing, it wasn't even kissing Dean. How hungrily he kissed back after the initial moment of shock didn't make any sense, did it?
Dean ran his hand through Cas' messy hair and slowly pulled the angel away. They'd kissed so many times in his dreams, yet somehow this felt different, purer. They were both out of breath when they managed to restrain themselves from touching. The angel looked at him as though he'd found everything he had believed in was a lie. His hair was much like it had been in their early days and his tie had almost escaped his neck.
Under his breath and smiling like an idiot Dean muttered, "I love you. I have for so long. That-that's why I looked for you in purgatory. Not because you're an angel, but because you're you." It took a few seconds for him to gather the courage to gauge Cas' reaction. Unlike usual, his face was spilling emotions, all sense of composure lost. It was a sight to behold.
They were both surprised when Cas pulled Dean into a tight embrace, whispered "I love you too.", then escaped Dean's dream when he realised what he said, leaving Dean cold and alone. Cas knew he’d left both their feelings in turmoil.
His feet couldn't support him when he returned to the waking world. Right now, he missed the times before Metatron and his fall when he could access dreams from any distance. He couldn't be here when Dean... Not when he wakes up and puts 2 and 2 together.
What on earth had just happened?
He thought and with that a spitfire of questions went searing through his mind. Had Dean been aware he wasn't part of the dream? Did it matter? Why had he said it too? How long had the hunter felt this way? How long had he felt this way? What should he do? A relationship between and angel and a human is frowned upon, yet it wouldn't be the first time he broke the laws of heaven for Dean....
If Cas had had his wings he'd have flown halfway across the globe, but for now, all he could do was jump in his car and drive.... Just drive.