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“-I’m just saying, you have to eat it.”
Shane’s focus is ripped away from his book and back to reality, where he has to witness whatever this conversation behind him on the plane is about.
“Yes, you have to eat it, but also you cannot possibly eat it that much.” LaPointe’s voice is very serious, like they’re discussing academics. Shane has a vague idea of what this is about, even though he hopes he’s wrong. It’s probably a bad sign that Ilya, in the seat next to him, is snickering quietly into the bag of M&Ms he's snacking on.
“Maybe you can’t,” Holmberg retorts in a patronizing tone, “But speak for yourself, dude.” Holmberg has had a girlfriend for all of five minutes, and is already becoming unbearable about it.
“No, more than twice is excessive.”
“Bro, are you crazy? You eat it, make her come at least once-” Oh yeah, so they are definitely talking about what Shane feared they were, “fuck her,” At least Young has the decency to lower his voice slightly when he says it, “-and then eat it again. If she can still walk after, you did it wrong, dude.”
Ilya shoots Shane a glance, one of his brows jumping suggestively. Shane rolls his eyes at him, but feels his cheeks flush. Ilya has definitely done that to him.
“You gotta let her sit on your face. You gotta.”
Shane wonders if he has gotten worse at drowning out this kind of talk, or if he just stopped caring now that he doesn’t have to pretend he could join it.
“Haasy, what do you think?”
“I am not participating in this conversation,” Luca says from his seat across the aisle, looking up from his book. As always, he’s the only one with a brain.
Ilya hoists himself up in his seat, kneeling so he can look over the backrest of it. He says nothing, just looks down at them.
“Quiet everyone, the OG is chiming in.” LaPointe is gesturing. Shane cannot resist turning to watch their idiocy as well.
“Tell us your wisdom, oh great sensei.” Young does a little bow Shane is sure he learned from an anime or something. The three of them have learned not to take Ilya too seriously in the past months; meanwhile, Bolduc, who is wedged into the seat in front of Luca, looks like he's about to start taking notes.
“What is even the question?” Ilya asks as if he hasn't just listened to their entire conversation.
“Eating it,” Holmberg tells him, wiggling his brows.
Ilya lets out one of his very Slavic tsks. “What is it?”
Shane has to bite back a laugh because they immediately struggle now that they have to explain their bullshit.
“Y’know.”
“I do not.” Ilya seemingly enjoys this way too much.
“Pussy,” LaPointe whisper-shouts.
“You can talk about it like you are pros but you cannot even say the word pussy out loud?” Ilya shakes his head like he's disappointed in them. He's catching the attention of half the team now, while the rookies blush. “Put some respect on her.”
“Okay, but,” Holmberg gestures at Ilya, clearly wanting to move on; it becomes very clear very quickly that he's not sure how to continue this sentence. He settles on, “You've slept with tons of women.” which really isn't ideal.
Ilya squints at him like, go on?!
Shane is very glad he is only a spectator to this conversation.
“What is the ideal amount of eating it in one night?”
“Oh my god,” Shane whispers. On the other side of the aisle, Luca is taking his noise-canceling headphones out of his bag.
Ilya hums, taking this way too seriously. “Well, if you ‘eat it’,” he paints quotation marks in the air with his fingers, “she has to blow you, right?”
Shane is about to balk and protest when he sees the mirth in Ilya's eyes.
The rookies hum and shift in their seats.
“I don't think that's…,” Young says after a brief moment. “It’s not like, a has to. Only if she wants to.”
“Yeah, you gotta do it for the love of the game,” Holmberg adds. Shane thinks, somehow his brain cells have halved during the past five minutes.
“Yes, correct answer. Good job.” Ilya tosses them both an M&M each.
“Hey, thanks!” Young grins at the candy in his palm.
“I want one, too!” LaPointe protests. “I also respect women.”
“Yet you think your girlfriend doesn't deserve more than two orgasms at a time,” Holmberg interjects.
“That's not what I-”
Ilya plops back down into his seat, giving Shane a sidelong grin. Shane just shakes his head. “Are you seriously Pavlov’ing them?”
“Yes,” Ilya admits shamelessly, “If they want to talk about this stuff, they can be positive… what is the word?” He squints, then remembers, “Influence. To each other.”
“About oral sex?”
“Hey, happy wife, happy life.” Ilya reaches over and squeezes Shane's knees, just a little too high. “I know it.”
“Stop it.” Shane bats Ilya’s hand away, but feels his cheeks heat up.
-
It’s delicious, winning against the Admirals in New York. Ilya has way too much fun doing it. People expect him to be an asshole, and tonight, he is one, giving them fodder for the image he has curated.
Ilya would never admit it out loud, but Scott is one of his favorite players to face off against. He’s such an upstanding citizen- senior citizen, that is- on and off the ice, but at the same time, he can hold his own, can stand up to Ilya’s chirps, and can almost (almost!) keep up with Shane and him. Even at his old age.
They beat New York 4-2.
In the locker room, Shane holds out his phone to Ilya. “Scott says you owe him a drink for that at the Kingfisher.”
“Tell him I will pay for his drink, but not for the therapy he will need after tonight.”
Shane rolls his eyes with a grin and texts Scott back.
“Barrett, are you coming to the Kingfisher after team celebration?” Ilya calls across the locker room. Troy gives him a thumbs up and a grin, his black hair sticking out from his head in a sweaty mess.
From the corner of his eyes, he sees Luca lift his head, looking back and forth between them. Ilya saunters over to him, clapping his back. “Great goal earlier, Haas.”
“Thank you,” Luca smiles.
“Are you going out later?”
Luca pulls a face. “The guys want to go to a club, but… I don’t know.”
“Do you want to come with us to the Kingfisher? Is Scott Hunter’s and Eric Bennett’s bar. The one they bought for their boyfriends because they’re simps.” Ilya savours the word, and the way it makes Luca’s face screw up in second-hand embarrassment. “Shane and I are going, and Barrett. Hunter will be there, too.”
“Oh.” Luca’s cheeks turn pink. “Um, yeah. I’d like that.”
“Great.” Ilya claps him on the back once again before he turns to find Bood and some champagne.
-
When they slide into the booth later, Shane can still feel the slight buzz from the one drink he had at their team celebration; he truly is a lightweight. Meanwhile, Ilya looks completely unfazed.
Scott is already there when they arrive, sitting in a booth with his husband Kip, who is dressed impeccably as always, and very handsome.
“Kip!” Ilya exclaims, purposefully ignoring Scott to hug him instead. Kip laughs, hugging him back; Ilya lifts him in the air playfully. Ilya really likes Kip and they get along well, and not just because it’s funny to him that it pisses Scott off just a little bit. Shane is glad they’re all married, because he thinks he might get jealous otherwise.
“Hollander,” Scott gives him a grin and shakes his hand, “Don’t know if I have forgiven you for that second goal earlier.”
Shane smirks at him. “Sorry.”
Troy, who is used to this by now, greets them as well. Only Luca seems starstruck, standing frozen like he wants to hide behind Shane. Scott, in his princely kindness, recognizes his awkwardness instantly and reaches around Shane to offer Luca his hand.
“Haas, right? I’ve been watching you for some time, you’re a great talent. Seriously awesome to watch.” He pulls a face. “Not so awesome to play against, though. That assist was crazy work.”
Luca has gone so deeply red that his cheeks look like apples. He shakes Scott’s hand with a shaky “Th-thank you.” and a shy smile.
Troy claps him on the back, ripping him out of his stupor. “You’ll get used to it.”
“We are all friends here,” Ilya says from where he is already sprawled out in the booth next to Kip, his arms spread out across the back of the seat.
“C’mon.” Troy pulls Luca down to sit between Scott and him, while Shane slots himself into the seat next to Ilya.
“Hi, I’m Kip.” Kip sticks out his hand towards Luca with a smile. Luca shakes it, blush coming back even deeper now.
“Gosh, you’re adorable,” Kip tells him with a light laugh.
“Thank you,” Luca repeats like a little boy. So polite.
“So, does this mean…?” Kips gestures from Luca to Ilya and Shane and vaguely around the table.
Ilya shrugs, and Shane just looks to Luca; he feels kind of bad for putting him on the spot here.
“I’m still figuring things out,” Luca says shyly, “but, um… I’m… definitely not straight.”
Scott gives him a grin and rests a hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “Well, welcome to this table, then.”
Luca smiles, ducking his head.
“I am starting to wonder if being queer makes you better at Hockey,” Kip says, leaning his elbows on the table.
“It definitely makes you better at handling sticks,” Ilya jokes, then reaches for the menu.
As if summoned, Kyle appears to take their order. Shane has recently learned the expression ‘twink death’, but it seems like this is not something Kyle is burdened with. With his apron and white t-shirt, showing off his pierced nipple ever-so-slightly, he still looks like he just walked straight out of a porno.
Shane realizes that he is surrounded by a group of very hot, queer men right now, and something settles deep in his heart. His younger self could have never.
“Hey, handsomes,” Kyle greets them with a lopsided smile, “Hi, Troy.” He reaches out and lightly tugs on the slightly longer black hair at the back of Troy’s neck, wrapping a strand around his finger. “Love the new haircut.”
Troy is blushing. “Thank you. Good to see you.”
They’re flirting everytime Troy comes here now; it’s harmless as far as Shane can tell. Maybe being allowed to openly accept compliments and flirtations from other men is just as healing to Troy as it is to Shane.
“And wow, a new face. You’re so cute!” Kyle zeroes in on Luca. Shane wonders if Luca’s face will just stay permanently red all night.
“Thank you,” he says once again.
“That’s Luca, our teammate,” Troy explains to Kyle. “First time coming out with us like this.”
“So be nice,” Kip tells Kyle through a wide, clenched-teeth smile.
“I’m always nice.” Kyle gives him a wink.
Shane’s own head is swimming from all the casual flirtation going around; he can’t imagine how Luca is feeling right now.
“So, what are we ordering?”
They quickly fall into normal conversation; hockey being topic number one, of course. Luca seems to thaw a little once he feels like he is on familiar ground with what they’re talking about.
After a while, Kip speaks up, changing topics. “So, Luca, did Ilya clock you as well?”
Luca seems to be flustered by being addressed so directly, but asks, “Clock me?”
Ilya gives a huge, overexaggerated shrug and a shit-eating grin.
“It’s kind of like an inside joke,” Troy explains, “that Ilya can clock every queer person from two miles away.”
“Didn’t clock me,” Scott comments and takes a sip of his drink.
“My one and only mistake, I swore to never miss any more ever again.” Ilya holds out his beer bottle to Scott, who clinks his own against it.
“Oh,” Luca says, “Um, no. I don’t think so?” He looks to Ilya for help. “I guess I kinda… came out to you?”
“You did, yeah.” Ilya cocks his head, “But I had an inkling when you talked about having my poster in your bedroom.”
Luca, once again, blushes violently.
“Stop teasing him,” Shane tells Ilya, but can’t help the grin on his own face.
“So, are you dating anyone?” Kip asks curiously, leaning forward.
“Yes, Luca, are you dating anyone?” Ilya repeats with a shit-eating grin.
Luca clears his throat, shakes his head.
“What about that cute figure skater boy?” Troy asks. Shane didn’t even know Troy knew about that. “He posted you on instagram.”
Luca ducks his head and pulls a face. “Dario and I are just friends. I think-” He stops himself and hides his beet-red face behind his drink.
They all collectively lean in to listen to him. Luca says nothing, however, just chews on his lower lip and looks at Troy helplessly.
“Looked like he was kind of into you in the video,” Troy says gently, in a tone that reminds Shane very much of Harris. Maybe there is something about this, about wanting a younger queer man to have all of the counsel and community they all never had.
“Can I see it?” Kip asks curiously.
“We don’t have to talk about this if you’re uncomfortable,” Scott addresses Luca, ever the captain. Luca shakes his head.
“N-no, maybe some outside opinions are good. I don’t… the guys-” Shane knows he’s referring to the other members of their baby book club-, “I kinda can’t talk about this stuff with them.” He pauses, then quickly adds, “Not because they’re homophobic, but because they’re…”
“Dumbasses,” Ilya supplies and leans in to look at Troy’s phone in Kip’s hand.
Shane cranes his neck as well. It’s a video of Luca and Dario next to each other on the ice, and it’s not from the day they filmed at the rink, because Luca is in black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt instead of his hockey gear. The video is muted, but Dario is talking, gesturing with his hands. Then, Luca chimes in. When he talks, Dario looks at him, and, yeah, Shane can see what Troy meant. Kip is opening the comments, and Shane sees a lot of heart-eyes emojis and words like ‘crush’ and ‘ship’.
On the other side of the table, Luca is anxiously chewing on his lip.
“You’re not into him?” Ilya asks. Kip passes the phone to Scott who silently watches the video as well.
Luca shrugs. “We’re friends, like I said, and I really like him as a friend. Not… more.”
Scott locks Troy’s phone and hands it back to its owner. “Not for a relationship?” Luca nods.
“Have you slept with him?” Kip asks matter-of-factly. Luca’s eyes widen in embarrassment and he very quickly shakes his head.
“I don’t, um… do that.”
“Sex in general?” Kip’s voice is free of judgement.
“No, I…” Luca glances helplessly at Shane, who deeply understands the awkwardness of this situation.
“Not without the right emotional connection, right?” Shane supplies, and Luca gives him a grateful look.
“Yes, exactly. But it’s gotta be… both? Emotional and…”
“Romantic,” Scott supplies the same moment Ilya says, “Sexual.”
Luca nods quietly. “It’s not really there.”
“Have you told him that?” Troy asks. It’s kind of fun to see Troy like this, like a big brother, flexing his newly acquired social skills.
“No,” Luca says miserably.
“You don’t need to,” Ilya protests, gesturing, “He will get it eventually.”
“That’s mean,” Shane tells him.
“Roz the heartbreaker,” Scott comments idly, and sips his drink. Ilya blows him a kiss, and Shane tries not to think about how this makes his stomach swoop unexpectedly. That’s something to explore on a different day.
“I think having crushes on your friends, or them having crushes on you is a quintessential queer experience,” Kip say, causing everybody to look at him with narrow eyes. “...if you aren’t a super closeted NHL player,” he adds with a shrug.
Kyle returns to the table, putting another drink down in front of Luca unasked. “You look like you need it, sweetie.”
“Thank you.”
“We’re talking about gay friends having crushes on each other. Or, unreciprocated ones,” Kip explains to him.
“Ah, you mean like I had on you?” Kyle says lightly. Across the table, Shane sees Scott awkwardly hide behind his beer bottle. Kip doesn’t seem to mind, though.
“Yes, exactly.”
“Um, well,” Kyle puts a hand on Troy’s shoulder when he leans in to talk to Luca, “Whatever you do, just don’t kiss him, act like you want to sleep with him, almost vomit on him, tell him you don’t actually want to sleep with him, and then go on to marry the hottest man in the world a year later.”
He’s clearly joking, and Kip is laughing, but Luca seems a bit overwhelmed with this information.
“Wow,” Ilya reaches out to squeeze Kips’ neck, “Incredible work.”
“But!” Kip holds up a finger, “Our friendship survived!”
“It did!” Kyle blows him a kiss, “And we both found the men of our dreams.”
“I don’t know how helpful this is for Luca,” Scott chimes in. To Luca, he says, “You should be honest with him.”
“Yes,” Shane agrees, “What if you do meet a guy you really like, and then he’ll be sad because he hoped you would develop feelings for him after all?”
Luca sighs, his shoulders deflating. “This is complicated.”
“Dating always is,” Kip reassures him.
“Gay dating especially,” Troy adds.
“Are you planning on coming out, publicly?” Scott asks Luca, who shakes his head.
“No. I mean, not like you, or Shane and Ilya. Or Troy. I really appreciate what you did for the sport, to make people like me feel more comfortable. But I think… I don’t owe the public details about my private life? Maybe one day, I will make a statement or something. But I don’t think I want it to be a big deal.”
“It shouldn’t be!”
“If I ever date someone and people see me with him, it’s okay. I know it won’t be a big deal for my team, or my career.” Luca gives Ilya a small, lopsided grin. “Thanks to you all.”
“Ah, damn.” Scott sniffs, clearly emotional. Kip places a hand on his cheek with a light laugh.
“You can do whatever you want. It’s your choice,” he tells Luca firmly.
Luca gives him a shy little smile.
“Look at it, you made the dinosaur cry,” Ilya teases, but Shane can tell he is just covering up his own emotions. Under the table, he puts a hand on Ilya’s thigh, and Ilya quickly leans in to kiss Shane’s temple, then his cheek.
Luca’s eyes dart back and forth between them, and Shane belatedly realizes, Luca has probably never seen them kiss. They don’t really do PDA, and they really don’t do PDA at work.
So Shane turns his head, and catches Ilya’s mouth in a real kiss- an innocent, short one, but a kiss nonetheless.
Troy snorts, clearly seeing Luca’s shocked little face. “I know, it’s strange when mom and dad kiss in front of us,” he comments, making the entire table laugh.
Ilya snorts and kicks Troy’s leg under the table, but pulls Shane in to deepen their kiss so much that Shane blushes and quickly pushes him away before it gets too heated.
-
They walk back to the hotel, and Shane grabs Ilya’s hand as they do.
In front of them, Troy and Luca are chatting, both of them mildly drunk, and Luca is laughing while Troy is telling a story in his trademark deadpan style.
Ilya turns his head and catches Shane’s eyes with a smile, then lifts their joined hands to his mouth to kiss Shane’s. “This is nice,” he admits quietly.
“Yeah,” Shane agrees, briefly tipping his head to the side to bump it into Ilya’s shoulder. He feels his heart glow with love for his husband. They never wanted to become role models, or activists. But sometimes, Shane thinks it’s nice that younger guys can look up to them. And he feels a certain responsibility about it, too. “Maybe we should do this more often. In public, I mean. Just… a little bit.”
Ilya kisses his hand again, his eyes softening above it. “I would like that.”
“Luca? Luca Haas?”
A man across the street stops, and so does Luca. For a second, Shane expects it to be a fan, but he immediately sees the recognition in Luca’s face.
“Yannick?!” he calls back, and the other man immediately breaks away from his friend group, who have stopped similarly to Troy, Shane and Ilya. He jogs across the street, coming to a halt in front of Luca.
In the low city light, Shane immediately notices that he is extremely handsome. Brown, tousled hair, blue eyes, tall and fit. He’s around Luca’s age, with that early twenties glow of perfect skin and boyish features which have only just morphed into an adult’s face. He’s well-dressed, too.
Luca and him stare at each other with wide eyes for a full three seconds, before both of them start laughing.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe it-”
“What are you doing here?!” Luca reaches out for the man, and the way they hug is highly atypical for Luca. Ilya gives Shane a wide-eyed look while Troy slowly inches away from the two of them, giving them space to reconnect.
They switch to German, but from all of the laughter and the way Luca holds himself, it’s easy to assume they’ve known each other for a long time.
After a few minutes of chatting, Yannick half-turns, gesturing to his friend group while talking animatedly, then holds out his hand to Luca in a universal gesture of ‘you should come!’. Luca quickly replies, then turns to face them. When he sees their expressions, he blushes.
“Um, would you guys mind if I went out to a club now? Yannick and I haven’t seen each other in years, we went to school together,” he quickly explains, a sheepish little smile on his face.
“Hi, nice to meet you.” Yannick immediately stretches to shake all of their hands. “You are Lukey’s teammates?” His accent is more pronounced than Luca’s, but in a way that makes Shane assume he can probably turn it off if he tries hard enough. It’s also more Austrian if Shane isn’t mistaken. Luca’s smile widens at the nickname.
“Yes,” Ilya says, intimidating Russian accent turned up to the max. “Rozanov.”
Yannick’s smile gains a little edge. “I recognize you from the poster.”
Behind him, Luca blushes furiously. Shane can see where this is going.
“Nice to meet you,” Shane quickly tells him when Yannick shakes his hand first, then Troy’s.
“Sorry, I’m not a huge hockey person. But I heard you won against New York earlier today, so congratulations.” Yannick’s smile is extremely charming. He seems very outgoing, but not in an unpleasant way. “Would you mind if I steal Luca for tonight? We haven’t seen each other in ages.”
Before Ilya can say something intimidating, Shane quickly replies, “Not at all, it’s great that you just ran into each other like this.”
“It’s great, yeah.” Yannick looks back at Luca, and there is a very sudden and deep fondness in his eyes that makes Shane look away.
“Have fun catching up.” Shane gives Luca an encouraging smile. Luca shifts on his feet, his face almost split in two by the enormous smile he has on. It’s adorable.
“Don’t come home too late,” Ilya tells him, “Remember, flight is at eight thirty.”
Luca quickly nods. “I will.” Yannick is reaching for his hand, and Luca lets himself be pulled away. “Bye, see you tomorrow!”
“Have fun,” Troy idly calls after him as the three of them watch Luca be abducted by this very handsome Austrian man. Once they’re across the street, Ilya immediately turns to Troy. “Google him now.”
“Okay, okay!” Troy gets his phone out as they walk. “I will text Harris.”
He taps away as they walk slowly, then starts reading from the screen. “...actor and model who has played several roles in tv and film in Germany, Austria and Switzerland, the most prominent being the role of Emperor Franz of Austria, alongside Pia Wallner as Empress Sissi in the romantic multi-part period piece “The Empress’s Heart”.” He looks up from his phone. “Wow. Harris will totally make me watch this show now.”
“Keep reading,” Ilya commands.
Troy holds up his hand in a placating gesture and lifts his phone back to his face. “The twenty four year-old actor came out as bisexual in early 2021 when he publicly posted photos of himself with his boyfriend, handball player Timo Kowalczyk.” Ilya visibly narrows his eyes, but Troy keeps reading. “The couple have since announced their break-up in 2022. Currently, Adler is not openly dating anyone.”
Ilya’s tense posture visibly deflates, and Shane has to admit he’s glad, too. It’s not like they’re expecting Luca to marry the guy, but with everything he’s been through in his dating life lately, Shane just wants him to have it easy for once.
“He’s super handsome.” Troy holds out his phone towards them again, scrolling through google photos of Yannick. There are more than a few shirtless ones. “Haasy’s got good taste.”
“Eh, he’s okay,” Ilya comments lightly. “Okay.” It sounds like he has to calm himself down.
Shane laughs, bumping his shoulder into Ilya’s. “He’ll be okay.”
“You two are worse than actual parents,” Troy grunts, shaking his head.
-
The next morning, Luca is there at breakfast, looking as fresh as only someone in their early twenties can look after a night of partying.
Ilya plops himself down next to him, giving him a grin. “Had fun?”
Luca ducks his head with a smile, blushing softly. “Yeah.”
“When did you come back to the hotel?”
“Five thirty,” Luca confesses. “I already went to the gym.”
Ilya can’t even imagine. Even in his younger days, he was never that determined. It’s definitely something Shane would have done, though, if he had ever stayed out at a club for this long.
“Thank you for taking me to the Kingfisher.” Luca smiles at him. “I had a great time.”
Ilya returns the smile, and claps Luca on the back once. “Is important to have a community, I think. Even if that community has Scott Hunter in it.”
Luca’s smile turns into a laugh. “I think you actually like him.”
Ilya shushes him, looking around like he’s worried someone will overhear them. “Don’t say this in public!”
It makes Luca giggle, and Ilya feels very accomplished.