Work Text:
To Sam, driving a demon out of his body felt a lot like bleeding out.
Maybe he should be worried that he knew what bleeding out feels like.
A strange combination of cold creeping into your veins while something - something like warmth, but not quite - was leaving your body. Like the very essence of life was slowly draining out and all you can do is hope that the demon drains away with it before your life runs out.
Sam knew that there wasn't any blood actually draining out of his body, just the thick black smoke of what's left of a demons soul. Still, there was a small part of him that hoped that the old remnants of the demon blood he once drank would drain out too. To get rid of the corruption, the thing inside of him that made him an abomination.
He tried not to indulge the thought.
Lest it took root and came back when he was actually wounded and bleeding and he ended up waiting just a little too long to ask for help.
Lest it took root and came back on the hazy days and dark nights, when the nightmares were relentless, the knife sharp and within reach and his veins oh so vulnerable.
Castiel was an Angel. Angels do not drown.
Yet, Castiel knew that possession - no, expelling a creature that possessed you - felt like drowning. Like holding your head underwater and hoping that the creature in your body runs out of air before you do.
Icy water closing above your head, filling your eyes and ears, a buffer between you and the world outside of your body so that all your focus zeroes in on the oppressive choking feeling in your throat.
Creatures, demons, Leviathans, Lucifer. Bubbling up to the surface. Forced out of your body, but kicking and screaming all the way, slamming their claws into the soft meat of your throat.
Your Vessel's throat, right? But that hasn't been true for a long time now, has it? Became too human to ever fully be an Angel again. Lost his host along the way so this body really is your own.
This body. Drowning in water. Choking on blood.
Lack of oxygen from the creatures in your throat blocking off your air supply.
Angels don't need air.
Angels do not drown.
But Castiel sure knows what drowning feels like.
Dean knows what it feels like to have electricity in his veins.
The sudden shock to your system, your limbs lock up and freeze, the way all your senses spark out except your own heartbeat pounding loud in your head.
The similarities with demon possession were shockingly similar. Pun absolutely intended.
The way your limbs lock up when something else takes control. Your senses sparking out one by one - unless the thing wants you to see, to feel, to hear, to taste.
The sudden shock to your system when you break through their hold on you and you gain even just a little sliver of control back. Your own heartbeat in your head fighting for dominance with the force in your body.
You can hear your own heartbeat slowing down as the demon in your body wraps their icy cold fingers around your heart and squeezed.
Sam and Cas wouldn't understand how terrifyingly similar it feels to a heart attack.