Chapter Text
Agony. Half a month of pure unfiltered pain. Feeling the skin under my fur boiling under the ferocity of the sun, feeling each nerve fiber under constant pressure and spending a month behind the veil of a blindfold, adjusting my eyes to the sheer magnitude of sunlight, all so I could be with them again, so I wouldn't remain forsaken in the dark any longer. I persisted in the hopes it would all be worth it. In the hopes that it would lead to a better outcome. So the dream I had yearned for could finally come to life. It was everything I'd ever wanted, for me and those around me to be happy.
Yet, I'm not. Finally being with them, finally getting to explore this "hometown", it has cast a mark of disdain upon the darkners' names. Lancer, Tenna, Queen, and the rest of the darkners, all of whom with undying loyalty to me sworn across their hearts, dead. "Angel" that's what it called itself, the parasite. A parting "gift" it had given me was the ability to join my friends in the light world. As my friends closed the final fountain, I caught the last glimpse of the people I had grown so fond of. This wasn't a gift, it was a curse. A looming reminder, that I should be dead. An ever-present memory, haunting me, reminding me of those whom I had turned my back upon. Hundreds perished because 1 wanted to survive. Why had it picked me? Was it truly a gift or was it just another way for it to enact it's hostile will, to leave its final impact on the world. Why would I even accept it's gift, why was I so selfish. Whatever it was meant to be, I couldn't take it anymore.
Dread, anxiety, panic attacks and fear, eating away at me, it had become to much even for me. I made my way to Kris' bed and pulled out his blade from under his mattress. Toriel and Kris were at the Holidays' which gave me more than enough time to do what I had to. Laying my arm flat on Asriel's bed, I rolled up my sleeve and brandished my weapon. My arm, trembled in dread for what was to come, and truth be told I was a bit nervous, but I needed relief. Positioning the blade upon my upper arm, I pressed it down on my fur. It's edges dug into my skin, not yet creating an incision. Holding my breath, I swiftly tugged on the knife's handle.
Waves of excruciating pain radiated across my arm, pain that felt permanent unlike that in the dark world. Arm throbbing, I watched blood spurt out of the incision, staining my fur a gruesome crimson. The burning agony shrouding my arm was in stark contrast to the contentment my mind had finally found. Finally, the world had admitted that I was an anomaly roaming the earth, instead of showering me with blind optimism. Justice was finally being enacted for the genocide that was the prophecy. Despite living here for almost a month at this point, it was the most alive I'd felt yet. Fixated by the sight of blood flowing out of my arm, I stumbled to the restroom, ensuring no evidence of my blood remained.