Chapter Text
Sua brought her fists to her chest as she sat in her highchair, looking onto the strange assortment of objects before her.
A yellow cylinder with a sharp tip. A long thread. A white ball with two red stripes. A round grey gadget with a tiny wheel and a winding cord coming out of it. A thin, green piece of paper with numbers and a person's face on it.
What caught her attention was a bulky stick with a mesh ball at the end. It had a button on its side, and it was heavy when Sua grabbed it with her tiny hands.
“Oh, she’s gonna be a singer! How wonderful.”
In later years, Sua brushed off this prophecy as proof of the unreliability of superstition. After all, she was the quietest girl at school, preferring books over people.
Until today.
—
A flickering neon microphone illuminated the faintest blue of Sua’s hair. Its unforgiving radiance—spelling “Karaoke”—was an eyesore, yet it blended seamlessly into the sleepless city. Now, a feeling of anxiety to do something strangely assaulted her typical apathetic spirit. Sua did not normally wander the streets at this hour, but with this restless feeling clouding her mood, maintaining normality was at the bottom of her list of concerns.
Earlier, while tuning out Ivan’s rambling, the mention of the place caught her attention—something about the retro song catalogue and being geared toward niche music tastes. From her past experiences where "inclusivity" means the Billboard Hot 100 and a couple songs from the 60s, even Sua couldn’t help but take interest.
Music, and especially singing, was something she kept close to her chest. While maintaining her stoic expression, she allowed her heart to flutter at the thought of indulging in frivolous fun. Maybe the stress was really getting to her; she was convinced the only thing that could give her any semblance of relief was belting out notes into an empty room.
Sua didn’t have anything to lose. She entered the threshold, bathing in dim, saturated lights, and quickly headed for the single employee that looked friendly. Most places have a sleek machine that takes in payments, some are even completely staffless. Ivan mentioned that the presence of human service was another testament to the novelty of the place.
There was a pink haired girl in front of her, hair swinging like ribbons as she turned her head. Her lips opened to speak, but her words were lost to Sua as an obnoxious voice boomed from one of the rooms. The unknown amateur singer continued to pour his heart out, drowning out the conversation in front of her.
“10,000 won… mhm, thank–”
“HEY, kick and BREAK YA!!!”
The “sound-proof” rooms were utterly useless in containing the chaos. Sua was not a loud singer, but she’d rather not put her faith in a single, useless door.
“...Really? …only one room left?” said the pink haired girl, her words only emerging in the pauses of the noisy singer’s passionate rhapsody.
One room left. Of course, Sua shouldn’t have come here in the first place. Cursing herself for wasting her time, she prepared to make a quick exit. But before she could move, the pink haired girl whipped around to face her.
Sua played with the hem of her skirt as an indecipherable gaze bore into her small frame. She took a peek at the girl's expression cautiously. Her face was soft, yet striking, like one of the modes she had seen in magazines. Her eyes held a mix of sympathy, pity, and...sadness?
And the glasses. It complemented her eyes and gave her a unique look, a look that was almost familiar. Sua had seen her before, she was sure. When they finally made eye contact, Sua’s memories resurfaced.
Sua had caught glimpses of Mizi during her first week at school. The popular kid, she presumed, based on her clothing and contagious smile. Pretty, and liked by everyone. Ivan had mentioned her once—
“She’s with me! We’ll take a room together,” Mizi cheerfully clarified.
What?
“Ok, you girls have fun!” The employee handed Mizi the room key.
“Thank you!” Mizi blurted out while tugging Sua’s arm. Sua felt like a leaf in a tornado as she stumbled down the hall.
An orange door, labeled “Room 2”, swung open with ease. A wide seat with a peach colored cushion sat flush against the wall. A triangular table housed a remote, a binder, a tablet, and a couple mics. With the boisterous sound of the speakers booting up, the lights began to dim and the room came to life.
“Don’t worry, it’s on me,” Mizi confirmed.
An incoherent mumble was all Sua could produce.
Mizi went straight for the remote, wasting no time to sprinkle the walls with cheeky confetti lights and stars. She stood oddly close to the T.V. while Sua sat down at the very edge of the couch, close to the door.
With one mic in hand, Mizi held its twin to Sua. The whirlwind of action finally caught its breath as Mizi patiently waited for Sua to accept her gesture.
Sua’s sister used to tease her about her scary resting face, amplified when she fell into one of her daydreams. She used to scare off kids in elementary, but Sua didn’t mind, it protected her from unwanted conversation.
Mizi's smile wavered. Sua must have been staring, likely while looking annoyed. She’s stuck. Stuck in a tiny room with no way out and no way to ease the awkwardness. She’s hopelessly and utterly done for.
Noticing the electric tension flickering through the air, Mizi exclaimed, “Alright, I’m gonna pick a song!”
Sua breathed a sigh of relief. She wondered if she could make her escape when Mizi was busy, but winced at the thought of being confronted at school.
Mizi dropped the binder onto her lap and skillfully traversed the plastic covered pages. She ran her finger down a page and tapped it twice when she found what she was looking for. With each press of the keypad a robotic voice echoed Mizi’s actions.
“6… 0… 2…”
“2… 2… 3…”
When Mizi clicked confirm, the room unceremoniously stayed quiet. A second later the screen displayed the name of the song as a guitar riff reverberated through the room.
“Scars”
Sua knew that song. In fact, it was from her favorite band: 에이스테.
How could Mizi know this—
Sua jumped when Mizi started pumping her fists like a little kid. Mizi shined brighter than the light projector that periodically flashed Sua’s vision as it rotated. She looked like a firework bursting in air.
Mizi cradled the mic with two hands while a few strands of hair fell on her face. The colorful lyrics that once aided inexperienced tourists were now an insult to Mizi, who had each line etched into her heart. With the first utterance of this sacred, monumental prayer, the room would explode and then implode, encasing them in a little universe.
“오늘은 조용해…”
A voice of honey, filled with glowing radiance resembling the flicker of sunlight on a river. It pierced Sua’s heart with a brutal force, cracking open her defenses.
Mizi had her eyes closed with an expression of deep, peaceful slumber, sailing through the rippling waves of the music.
[i wanna drag out the imagery more but not rn]
Sua always wondered if people actually possessed the “humanity” that was depicted in writing. The emotion that was hidden in the etchings of a CD, the hope that sprung from the pages of a book.
The coldness of her mother, the heartlessness of the world, the betrayal of her sister were proof to Sua that this intimate side of mankind was a hoax. She was the only one who was cursed with a soft and tender heart where feelings bubbled like lava.
But how could she still refute the existence of hope when living proof belted note after note an arms length away?
She picked up the lonely mic on the couch as the song slowed to a quiet whisper.
Sound is the vibration of particles in the air, intangible. But Sua was sure the words that would escape her lips were a magical force, the most genuine thing that existed in this world.
A dotted quarter note rest.
Sua brought the mic to her quivering lips.
“쏟아져 버린 틈에야!”
Mizi was wide-eyed at Sua’s sudden change of heart. Sua’s voice was starting to overpower Mizi with its fervor, so she quickly ramped up her efforts. With an iron grip on the mic, Sua closed her eyes and unveiled her once dormant voice.
Their voices orbited each other, spiraling into a singularity as they were captured in the other’s gravitational pull. Celestial bodies in orbit, surrounded by stars, leaving behind human-shaped blanks in the cosmos as they blocked the projector.
Mizi swayed with the pulse of the drums, her face contorting with the mood of each chord. Sua's voice lifted in valleys and peaks as she nimbly navigated the landscape of the melody. Both their minds, almost by instinct, sought the sound of the other, entranced by the haunting beauty of their companion.
“Scars remember everything…”
Sua subtly turned to take a peak at Mizi. Was she this beautiful earlier? Or was it just the lighting? Rosy cheeks, golden irises, eyelashes that danced as she blinked, Sua wanted to memorize every contour of Mizi’s face.
Mizi noticed Sua staring at her, mouth slightly agape, and returned her own loving gaze. Sua usually couldn’t handle eye contact, but she would make an exception for Mizi, who tenderly caressed Sua’s soul as she entered the palace of her mind.
Sua sent her love into the emptiness of space, and Mizi sent it back. In their own little universe, Sua gladly allowed herself to be known and seen for everything she is.
And it hit her. Loneliness. That was precisely the unknown emotion that had stolen her spark. She couldn’t have identified it when it was a basic fact of life. It only came into view in its absence, driven away by the light of an angel.
Once the guitar solo took the lead, the both of them caught their breath before falling into a fit of giggles. Mizi reached out her hand and Sua wasted no time to grab it, being pulled towards her sun. Mizi raised their intertwined fingers over her head, and Sua—the moon—did an awkward revolution.
Sua felt drunk, she had never had alcohol but she had no other words to describe the liquid ecstasy that ran through her veins. Her laughs ripped through her burning lungs, but pain was nonexistent in the presence of the pink haired goddess. She brought the mic back to her lips and took a deep breath. Her words—airy but strong, uninhibited but beautiful—flowed through the air like water.
“사라진다고 끝이라면…”
As the two voices pushed into a ferocious crescendo, the frequencies of their words began to overlap and supercharge the other, bringing the oscillation of their notes to a taut state. If they had pushed a little more, they would have broken every glass cup in the country.
The music, now at its outro, not only overwhelmed Sua’s hearing, but transformed into a series of vibrations that engulfed Sua’s whole being. She could feel it. At the pit of her stomach, the tips of her fingers, the back of her throat. It shook every atom in her body, rearranged her DNA.
Their hymn for one another came to a close. The last note rang out, unrelenting in its last moments before it fizzled out of existence (though it was not truly gone). Mizi fell onto the couch, followed by Sua, chests rising and falling in sync. A synthetic cheer caught Sua’s attention as the screen lit up with confetti. It displayed “87” in pink and “86” in teal.
“I won!” Mizi triumphed with a slightly hoarse voice, throwing her hands up to the sky and letting them bounce back onto the sofa.
Sua lazily blinked as she savored the moment.
“Earth to Sua?”
“Hm?”
Mizi bit down a smile and then cackled up a storm. She reached out her hand, finding purchase on Sua’s fingers. She rolled her head to the side and-
Mizi froze in panic as she caught sight of a trembling Sua crying a river of tears.
Sua pressed her sleeve over her eyes, teeth clenched as she muffled her hiccups and drew strained breaths through a constricting throat. Mizi hastily sat up and let go of Sua’s hand as her brows drew together in worry. A sharp fear impaled both their hearts: Mizi afraid that she had hurt Sua, and Sua afraid that she was already too much for Mizi.
Mizi rambled on without thinking, “I’m sorry, I-I never asked you if you wanted to do this, I shouldn’t have–”
A painful whine escaped Sua’s throat.
“T-the points don’t matter, you’re an amazing singer!!”
“No, no, it's not that, I just… I’ve never been so… happy,” Sua choked out.
Eyes stinging, Sua feverishly threw her hands in Mizi’s direction, desperate for the comfort of their once interlaced fingers. She fell forward into Mizi’s arms.
Warmth. The warmth of her sister, of what a mother’s love is supposed to feel like. A warmth that went back in time and comforted Sua the night her sister never came home. A warmth that touched her deepest, most carnal desire to be loved.
The discovery of this warmth would be a moment as necessary, as inevitable, and as life-altering as death.
Mizi’s warmth.
Sua hoped it would never disappear.
“I had fun, I promise,” Sua whispered into the crook of Mizi's neck.
“I’m glad-”
“Please choose the next song, be considerate of other guests,” a lively robotic voice cut through the air.
Mizi and Sua burst into laughter.