Imaginative Way To Die

Wednesday Addams was going to die. She knew it in her bones the moment she stayed behind to give the scared woman she had been leading out from the LOIS lab under the Willow Hill facility a chance to escape. This was between her and Tyler, no need to involve outsiders.

The rampaging Hyde charged towards her along the abandoned hallway, coming to a halt just a few steps before her, snarling. Getting ripped apart by a Hyde? That sounded too cliche for Wednesday’s taste. She took a step forward, slowly raising her hand.

---

The plan had been simple enough. Hide in Capri’s trunk to get into Willow Hill. Make contact with Uncle Fester’s contact inside. Extract Uncle Fester from his cell. Find Lois. Get back out with Capri’s unwitting assistance. Time it so it all gets done within Capri’s music therapy class window of 45 minutes and no-one’s the wiser. With Agnes invisibly creating distractions for entry and exit and Enid safely tucked away in the peripheral with her “job” as a look-out to keep her out of any danger because the whole exercise was meant to keep her from dying and not putting her in harm’s way.

Wednesday should have known no plan ever survives contact with the enemy. Not only because Sun Tzu said so centuries ago, but because that’s how it always goes anyway.

Getting in was a child’s play. Not only did Capri fail to notice her opening and closing her car trunk twice (honestly, did none of the adults around this godforsaken town check their mirrors before driving? Not to mention the sound closing the trunk would inevitably make), Agnes’ distraction for her entry was explosive enough to make her wonder what the stalker had planned for their exit. It was bound to be even more spectacular. And while Wednesday did have to suffer through the music teacher’s singing throughout the car ride there, this was but a small price to play for her roommate’s safety.

Uncle Fester’s insider turned out to be a lunch lady called Louise. The woman’s name being so similar to their actual target’s made her wonder if this might have been a case of mistaken identity, but Wednesday had never been one to look an accidental accomplice in the mouth. And Fester Addams had a habit of leaving broken hearts in his wake. This Louise would just join the long list of women Wednesday’s Uncle had used and left. But for now, she was still useful, smuggling Wednesday into the inner sanctum of the institution in her food cart, even stopping by a guard for a quick chat so her passenger could swipe the man’s key card for later use, and delivering Wednesday right to Uncle Fester’s cell door. As far as accomplices went, she was… acceptable.

Getting Uncle Fester out of his straight jacket took less than ten seconds. And while Pugsley’s pet zombie did try and to get a bite out of Wednesday, he didn’t really register as a threat with how short a chain he was being kept on. Wednesday hardly spared the nuisance a glance, even though Uncle Fester seemed to think the zombie did deserve shock on the nose for the attempt. And while disciplining a misbehaving pet would usually be considered the owner’s responsibility, Pugsley had clearly been too lax in raising his zombie, not to mention was not present in the moment, so maybe Uncle Fester taking it in his own hand did make sense. And if Uncle Fester forgot to close the cell door when they left, well, they were pressed for time and it’s not like a zombie chained to the wall could get up to too much mischief on his own.

Honestly, the easy success of the first part of the plan should have made her more apprehensive, but with Enid’s life on the line, she had just been too grateful to question her good luck. She should have known better.

The first sign of things spiraling out of control should have been spotting Laurel Gates, her former dorm-mother and botanical science teacher Miss Thornhill, running past them in inmate gown and chains, soon followed by the alarm blaring.

Logic would dictate the alarm being rung meant Capri’s music class was probably being cut short and the teacher was most likely already being escorted to her car and asked to leave the premises. Still, they were already there, and the asylum was bound to strengthen their security after this, so another opportunity like this was unlikely to come around again. And so, forward they pressed in their search for Lois.

Thankfully, Uncle Fester had managed to weasel the right door out of the institution’s former leader turned inmate and had even managed to get the security code for unlocking the apparently high security maintenance room her guard’s key-card could not access. A maintenance room with a secret door, at that. How... quaint.

A secret door leading to a secret research facility, the Long-term Outcast Integration Study. Well, they had found LOIS all right. Turned out, the erstwhile Nevermore teacher turned asylum director had been conducting experiments on outcasts declared dead and cremated for decades!

Of course, Wednesday’s pride did take a small blow from having been wrong on just who was the mad puppeteer behind everything – and for the second year in a row, at that! How was she supposed to solve mysteries and keep her fellow outcasts (especially Enid, because Wednesday would prefer to not have to break in a new roommate, thank-you-very-much!) safe when she was just never given enough information?! How was she even supposed to know Dr. Fairburn was just a hired face and the whole operation was run by Stonehurst’s deranged daughter, whom the previous director had apparently also experimented on. As lovely as that sounded for family bonding time, Wednesday just couldn’t get behind the stealing and exploiting outcast abilities part. Especially now, with her own psychic premonitions taking an unauthorized leave, right when she needed them most.

When Uncle Fester managed to shock the asylum into a facility wide power outage that actually opened the inmates’ doors instead of keeping them safely tucked away, all but one of the LOIS cells' outcasts descended upon Judi Stonehurst. The quiet woman from before, who had only asked whether they had come to kill her, the one whose obituary was missing from Donovan Galpin’s investigation, silently staying put in the corner of her cell. Wednesday was not about to leave a fellow outcast behind in this hellhole, though.

Maneuvering the hallways of Willow Hill after parting ways with with Uncle Fester, with her silent companion in tow and in the chaos of patients escaping left and right, Wednesday spent hardly a thought on the one inmate she had come to visit in the same facility previously. After all, she knew him to be chained to the wall in his own high security cell. Even if the power outage did manage to open up Tyler’s cell door as it did the others', what were the odds that it would also release his chains?

She should have guessed that was where Gates had been headed when they passed her. Such a slight oversight, to be sure. And now, Wednesday Addams was going to die. She knew it in her bones the moment she stayed behind to give the scared woman she had been leading out from the LOIS lab a chance to escape. This was between her and Tyler, no need to involve outsiders.

The rampaging Hyde charged towards her along the abandoned hallway, coming to a halt just a few steps before her, snarling. Wednesday looked up into the bulging Hyde eyes of her ex-boyfriend. The Hyde, who had saved her from Rowan just last autumn. The Hyde, who had killed numerous people around Jericho just past year. The Hyde controlled by Laurel Gates, who apparently had taken off alone after sending her pet Hyde to do her dirty work for her, again. Of course she would want revenge on Wednesday for foiling her plans of resurrecting her how-many-times-again?-grandfather to rid the world from outcasts. Maybe Wednesday shouldn’t have taunted Tyler the way she did when she came to visit, but honestly, how was she to know she would find herself facing off his inner monster just days later? Wednesday stared into the eyes of impending death, unblinking.

Wednesday Addams was not big into regretting things, but she did regret that her death would end up being somewhat common, at least for Jericho, after all. Getting ripped apart by a Hyde? That sounded too cliche for Wednesday’s taste. She could, however, think of a way to make it a little bit more imaginative. After all, there was no Xavier Thorpe to tackle her down from her course, this time around. And, to be honest, she had wondered…

She took a step forward, slowly raising her hand. The Hyde eyed her curiously, seemingly content to observe what she was up to, at least for now. The Hyde’s snarling face was right above her, baring razor-sharp teeth ready to snap. Wednesday rested her palm against it’s cheek, pushing herself up onto the tips of her toes to reach the monster’s lower lip. Getting her head bitten off while kissing a transformed Hyde had to count as more imaginative a death than just getting ripped apart by it’s claws. And, technically, had they really broken up at any point? Words to that effect had not actually been exchanged, after all. So, technically, she was actually kissing her still-boyfriend, right?

Wednesday closed her eyes, bracing herself for the moment of pain. Disappointingly, it did not come. Instead, after a long moment she would later assign to shock, she felt the face under her palm begin to shrink. Another short while later, and she felt him return the kiss with an enthusiastic one in his human form, arms sneaking around her waist, drawing her closer. His bare arms. Connected to his naked body, if his Hyde form was to anything to go by. She had missed another fanciful cause of death.

Wednesday sighed, and lowered her hand to his heart, pushing him away slightly.

“As much as I’m enjoying our reunion on this side of the bars, we will need to find some clothes to put on you, if you are to walk out of this building without raising more suspicion than the average escaping lunatic,” she stated by way of a greeting. “Or, you could stay here, if you prefer. They’re even conducting experiments on outcasts in a hidden underground laboratory.”

After a quick glance down his body, which Wednesday followed with her own steely gaze, Tyler had the decency to blush.

“I think I saw a guard with half his head bitten off somewhere back there,” he mumbled, turning away and indicating down the path he had just come from.

“I hope that wasn’t meant to indicate you expect me to retrieve it for you,” Wednesday raised a brow. “You should know by now I’m nobody’s errand girl.”

He smirked, now more the psychopathic serial killer than the bashful teen he had been portraying last year. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he assured her, starting to trace back his steps towards the body in question.

A heartbeat later, Wednesday followed. Just to check the body, she was convincing herself. After all, Tyler had said he had seen a body with half his head missing, not that he himself had bitten off half of it. It was only proper she should assuage it was not her idiot brother’s confiscated pet rampaging the institute alongside Tyler’s Hyde. Having two bloodthirsty (or, in the zombie’s case, brain-thirsty) monsters loose in the same building at the same night did seem a tad excessive, even for an outcast asylum, after all.

“How come you didn’t escape with Laurel,” she couldn’t help but ask, catching up with Tyler. “I’m sure I spotted her earlier, running in the direction of your cell.”

Even in his human form, Tyler snarled at the mention of his Master. “She didn’t escape, I did,” he said, turning around the corner and coming to a halt in front of the dead security guard he had mentioned. Wednesday squatted down to inspect it’s head while Tyler started stripping the corpse with as little disturbance to her study of it’s broken skull as possible. Sure enough, the man was missing his brains. Wednesday clearly needed to have a serious talk about responsible zombie raising with her brother once she made it back to the school.

While Tyler was getting dressed, Wednesday scoured the pockets of her jacket for a hair tie. With an unkempt overgrown mop like the one on his head, it would have taken more than suspension of disbelief to convince anyone that he was an actual security guard working there, after all. Not that boys ever noticed finer details like that. At least Tyler had the good sense to let her smooth his hair with her palms before pulling it back into a low ponytail without making a fuss. They were running out of time as it was, what with police sirens sounding in the distance, drawing nearer. Enid must have called Sheriff Santiago when Uncle Fester roasted the institute’s electric system.

“We need to go, NOW!” she barked, grabbing his hand and dragging him in the direction of the same side door she had entered from, breaking into a run. They needed to be out before the cavalry arrived. It was, of course, already too late for completing the stealthy quick reconnaissance mission she had imagined, but even Wednesday herself had no legitimate reason to be on the premises, and once armed forces surrounded the building, getting Tyler out was a definite NO. And even if he had lied to Wednesday for the better part of last year, even he did not deserve to end up in the basement lab, she rationalized to herself, dragging him along.

At least her gamble paid off, this time. The entire police fleet, little as it was in a small town like Jericho, sped right past them towards the front stairs, paying no heed to the pair sneaking out of the fire exit and towards the gate still wide open from the blackout. They walked briskly, keeping to the shadows, not daring to run before passing the gate, fearing they could look suspicious if they did. Was there even an universally accepted non-suspicious speed for getting away from a newly liberated asylum?

Wednesday dragged Tyler into the woods as soon as humanly possible, wanting to avoid being seen both by the assembled police force and her partners in crime, still trying to process the fact she had actually helped Tyler Galpin of all people escape confinement. She squatted down behind bushes, tugging him down with her.

“You will have to lay low for a few days, at least,” she started rattling on the moment she was satisfied they were concealed enough, her analytic mind going a mile a minute. “Don't try to return home for a while. The police will have it under surveillance the moment they notice you’re gone. You can probably use your dad’s “bullpen” cabin for a while. That seems to have been a secret between him and the friend who was also killed in their final investigation.”

For some reason, Tyler just squatted next to her, listening and nodding.

“You can come and find me in a week. They’ll hopefully think you have left the are by then. If you get the chance, you should probably leave some tracks leading them away in a wrong direction, anyway.” She handed him the key-card she was still holding onto after wiping it clear from her own fingerprints. “Something to drop for them to find, maybe?”

He pocketed it obediently.

“I’ll try to come up with a plan in the meantime. Laurel shouldn’t know your dad’s cabin’s address. She can’t re-establish control over you as long as she doesn’t have access to you, right?”

“I escaped Laurel,” he stated without elaborating.

She didn’t press, time was of essence. “Go!” she instructed instead, and he took off.

Wednesday crept along through the bushes, looking for her associates. The moment she made contact with the pair, Enid bounced on her. “Wednesday!”

They must have been worried, Wednesday rationalized. That was the only reason she silently counted to five in her head before extracting herself from her roommate’s death-grip, otherwise referred to as a hug. “We need to get back to the school before we’re missed,” she said, stepping put of her the other girl’s arms. Mission report tomorrow after classes.”

---

It’s only after she gets called out of class and into a meeting with Sheriff Santiago, alongside her parents and the headmaster, that Wednesday is (officially) informed of Tyler’s escape and (eventually) told the Hyde has killed his former Master in the process. And that Wednesday is being seen as his most likely target for revenge, now that he is on the prowl again. The Sheriff assures her every precaution is being taken to keep her safe. The Galpin house has already been placed under surveillance (as she predicted), as will be the school grounds (Wednesday notes the new principal does not seem too happy about this part of the deal, but Sheriff Santiago was Deputy during last year’s debacle and is not about to have another incident like that take place under her watch).

Once Wednesday makes it back into the solitude of her own room, she looks back onto the last evening and how docile Tyler seemed to act around her after reverting his form back to human. An uneasy feeling creeps slowly into her little black heart. Kissing a master-less Hyde in their Hyde form could not actually make the monster imprint on the other person, right? Seems like she has a new project in her hands to investigate.