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Alina snuggled into Aleksander’s lap and rubbed her nose against his neck and breathed him in. He always smelled good, she thought as she whispered “I missed you.”
He had only been gone a few days and it had been too long for her. She did not even care that Ivan was in the room telling Aleksander about what he missed. Aleksander whispers to her “I missed you too, little saint.”
Ivan finished his report and left them alone in the war room. Alina smiled and pressed her lips to Aleksander’s. He freezes a little. He finishes the kiss but looks at her. Really looks at her.
He seems nervous. He gives her a quick snuggle that is almost too tight and seems to be smelling her hair.. After a long moment he says “My little Saint. I think we need to talk.”
She is worried. Why would he act that way? Was the kiss bad? Was he mad at her? She asks almost brokenly “Did I do something wrong?”
Aleksander looks at her eyes “Never Alina. You are perfect. I just need to talk to you about us. I want to be honest with you. “
She looks away “Is there someone else?”
He moves her chin to face him gently “There will never be someone else for me. It is only you. I just realized we are moving into a new direction in relationship .”
She looks at him puzzled. He quickly adds “You have feelings for me other than attraction. I mean. We have been together intimately before but I feel like your feelings for me have changed. I do not want to mislead you. I have been manipulative for my own gain a lot when I first met you. But it's different with you. I care deeply for you. I love you, Alina. I do not want to hurt you any more.”
She looks at him “How would you hurt me?”
He sighs “I am not a good person, Alina. I am not going to become a good person. I do love you. I do feel you have made me better but I will not be like you. I am too old and set in my ways. I do not want you to feel I have used you physically or romantically. I value you too much too. I have not pushed you for more since we married. I might be the power hungry man who forced you to marry him but I do not ever want to hurt you, where you feel I lied to you to be with you physically.”
She is stunned. She knows her husband. She wonders if he thinks of his early treatment of her, the forced antlers and the tether on her, hurt him now. He might not regret it but she wonders if he regrets the damage he did to her. She knows she could be a better person but if he feels real regret for hurting her that would make her feel good. He has changed more than he thinks he has. He would have not had this conversation when they first married. He had always cared about her consent to their physical relationship but this was more. He was being honest with her.
Alina knew in her heart this man who was so powerful was desperate for her love. He is so scared of losing her. He does not want to break her.
She sighed “ We have been as you old fashionally put ‘intimate’ before”
His checks turn pink for a second. Her immortal powerful husband, she made him blush. He quickly says “I felt those times were more about pleasure. Yours. I want you to feel good but we are moving beyond friendship. There is more to us now. I don’t want you to regret anything and I do not want you to think I am a better person than I am”
He then mumbles “A better person like you deserve.”
She rubs his cheek. Her poor lonely husband who she sees who he really is. Yes, He might be a monster to others but he is hers completely. She will protect him from himself and from others who do not understand.
She grins at him and says “I love you too”
Aleksander’s whole face lights up in a way she has never seen before. She presses a kiss to his lips. She and Aleksander might not always be happy together but they would be together.