Chapter Text
It was dark and it was quiet. The giant house felt more like a tomb. The duffel bag on his shoulder was a heavy weight as he walked down the hall. He was careful not to make a sound as he passed by room after room. The family they'd built all safe and together.
He ignored the tightness in his throat.
The path was so familiar, and normally taken with excitement or drive or even anger... Tonight felt more like mourning. Like a loss. But he supposed that was something familiar to him too.
The bottom of the stairway came too quickly. He was slow to pull the unmarked motorcycle from it's place and tie down his bag, but still it didn't take much time at all. He stood beside the bike, his shoulders heavier despite being relieved of the burden.
"You don't have to do this."
It took everything not to turn and run into the warmth that voice offered.
"They used Joker to hurt Barbara. They got to Cass, B." He rasped out, grip tightening on the handle. "They almost got Tim and Jay, too."
"It's not your fault, Dick." Bruce told him.
"Yes, it is!" He finally turned around, shouting before he caught himself and quieted down again. "This," He gestured to the bike behind him. "This is the only way to keep everyone safe."
"Where will you go?" Bruce asked. It wasn't quite accusatory, but Dick had to stamp down the growing frustration all the same.
"West." He shrugged and then smirked bitterly. "I never did get to see California."
His parents had died at the beginning of his first American Tour.
"There's nothing I can say to convince you to stay?"
It's said so quietly. Dick blinked, wondering if he'd heard right. But seeing the genuine look of sadness and loss on Bruce's face... He's pretty sure it was a reflection of his own. Because Bruce knows this feeling too. Bruce was there for him and pulled him through it.
Bruce saved him from the shadows.
He doesn't remember moving, but the hug is warm and tight and love. It was everything he didn't want to let go of, so he didn't question it. He held on tight because he knew that in a moment it would be over. In a moment he'd have to let go.
Because there was nothing he wouldn't do for his family.
"I'm sorry, Dad." He whispered wetly into Bruce's shirt, but Bruce just pressed his face into his hair.
"Don't. None of this is your fault." His voice was gruff. Not in a Batman way. "I should have -"
"No." Dick said, shaking his head, as awkward as it was with his head pressed against Bruce's chest. "It's not your fault either... You protected me for a lot longer than anyone else could have."
They slowly pulled away. Though Bruce merely placed his hands on Dick's shoulders to look him in the eyes.
"You're right. Those kind of thoughts aren't productive." Bruce conceded, and Dick breathed a sigh of relief, considering it a small victory that Bruce wouldn't carry that guilt with him. "But this is not the end. This will not be forever. I promise."
Dick didn't trust himself to talk in that moment, so he nodded. It didn't convey nearly enough, but Bruce's face was filled with understanding. With a final squeeze of his hands, Bruce released his shoulders. The loss of physical contact was nearly painful, but Dick bit back the whimper and slowly went back to his bike, checking the ties on his bag again.
The door at the top of the cave's steps slamming open echoed throughout and caused the bats to startle and screech. Hurried footsteps down the stairs, no doubt taking two to three steps at a time. Dick bit the inside of his cheek because as much as he'd been procrastinating, he had hoped to avoid this. The anger, the disappointment, the betrayal.
They could hate him if they needed to, but he still had to do this... And he had selfishly hoped he wouldn't have to see their hatred face-to-face. Especially not his.
Dick didn't have to turn around to know who it was, but he did anyway. Jason stood a few feet away, panting and looking between Dick and Bruce... But there wasn't anger, like Dick had expected. There was something much worse.
Jason looked crushed.
"Don't go!" Jason blurted out, and the breath caught in Dick's throat as he watched Jason's tears start to spill over. "I'll give you the best game controller! I'll clean your motorcycle, o-or write your english papers for you! I'll do anything so long as you don't go!"
This time Dick remembered moving. He grabbed Jason's arm and pulled him in, holding on tight as his little brother cried. Dick had always teased Jason for his hands and feet being too big for his scrawny body, but now his fingers fisted in the back of Dick's jacket, clinging on with everything he had.
It was a minute or two before Dick opened his eyes again and found the rest of their patchwork family standing at the bottom of the stairs. Even Alfred looked mournful, though he carried a carefully packaged bundle of food in his hands.
Dick lowered his face into Jason's hair and whispered, "This is what brothers are for."
"But we need you!" Jason argued still. "I need you!"
"You don't." Dick told him quietly. He eased away, holding onto Jason's shoulders and looking him in the eyes. "You've grown so much, Jason. There's nothing else I can teach you. You're going to do just fine without me."
"That's a lie!" Jason shouted, shaking his head aggressively and swiping at his eyes roughly. He choked on a sob. "You're my brother!"
Dick took in a shuttering breath. He couldn't fall apart now. This was the last thing he could do for them, the last bit of comfort he could offer.
He squeezed Jason's shoulders to get his little brother to look at him again. He spoke calmly, but quietly, knowing if he tried to speak any louder his voice would break. "I'll come back home one day. When I can finally finish this once and for all. When you're all safe."
"Swear!" Jason demanded. "Swear that you will!"
Dick hesitated, looking from Jason's distraught face to the downtrodden and miserable expressions of the rest of his siblings to the understanding but mournful looks of Bruce and Alfred. They all needed to hear it. Because never once has Dick ever broken a promise. Even when the odds seemed impossible, Dick would pull through.
Dick prayed that this wouldn't be the one he couldn't keep.
"I promise, Little Wing." Dick told him and pulled him in for another hug. "I promise."
Jason clung on tight, and Dick wished he could do more to comfort him. To somehow assure him that it would always be the two of them against the world. Because while Dick loved all of his siblings equally, Jason was the first. Their bond was something unique, especially in recent years with Jason learning more about how to be a big brother. After having his brother by his side for so long, Dick was terrified to face the world on his own.
"I need you to promise me something, Jason." Dick decided after a moment of hesitation, and something about his voice must have caught Jason's attention. He lifted his head. Dick continued, "While I'm gone, you're going to be the oldest. So I need you to look after the others, okay? Keep them safe, try not to fight with Timmy and look after the girls. Okay? Look out for one another."
"Yeah... Yeah, I promise." Jason nodded, standing straighter and lifting his chin even though his eyes and cheeks were still wet. "I'll take care of them."
Dick smiled, if only a little, and then he looked at the rest of his siblings and nodded. Jason stepped aside so the others could step forward, but Dick held onto his hand, not ready to let go yet. He held on to Jason, and knelt down to catch Tim, Steph, and Cass. A moment later, Jason knelt down to join the group hug, squeezing Dick's hand.
Dick hugged them all tight and when they pulled back, Steph was unusually quiet, holding back tears as she sniffed and laid her head on his shoulder. Cass, having been nonverbal since the attack, used sign language to speak to him.
"Not your fault." She signed. Dick nodded, but couldn't help looking at all the bandages and bruises that still littered her body even two weeks after.
"This is the only way." He signed back because he wanted to meet her where she was at and he didn't trust his voice.
Cass wilted a little, seeing his response, but after a moment, she launched back into his arms and hugged him tight. Dick gladly returned it, eager for every little moment he could get with all of them.
The frustration was killing him. Dick didn't know how to make this easier. Didn't know how to make this better. It was frustrating because that was his job. Ever since he first went out with Batman, he made things better. He was the first to ever win a smile from Batman, he brought a little cheer onto the streets of Gotham, he was the gentle comfort for victims, and ever since that fateful night when they found Jason, it had been his role as a big brother. He's done his very best to be there for them, but now he was caught between endless hard decisions, and all he could do was pray that he was making the right one.
Tim was the only one who hadn't said anything. He stood there, shuffling his feet and his hands fidgeting at his sides. Dick didn't wait. He reached out and pulled him to the center of the group, wrapping him up in a hug. Tim melted into it like he always did. Neither spoke for a long moment, but then Tim broke the silence.
"You should take Robin."
Dick startled at that, pulling back to look Tim in the face. His shock must have showed in his expression, because Tim stumbled over himself to explain.
"I-I can make a new identity, the same way you and Jason did. You should take Robin because... Because you taught all of us what it means to be Robin. And -And even if you're not here, if you're Robin, people will know. They'll know you trained with Batman and maybe you won't be bothered as much. And they'll know that you're ours. And... And you won't forget about us..." Tim stuttered, slowing down to a halt at the end that revealed so many wounds inflicted by his "parents" that still hadn't healed. Wounds that Dick was pressing on as he prepared to leave for an uncertain amount of time.
"Timmy..." Dick choked. He yanked his littler brother into an even tighter hug, probably squishing him uncomfortably, but he didn't care. He needed Tim to know. "I will never, EVER forget about you. Any of you. We'll always be brothers, baby bird."
"You can't call me that anymore." Tim sniffed wetly. "Cass is the youngest."
"But you're still the littlest Robin. So you're still Baby Bird, like it or not." Dick told him firmly, swinging their hug side to side. Slowly, he eased away, looking at Tim with a more serious expression. "But you don't have to do that, Tim. I have Stray, and I think Gotham is going to need Robin now more than ever..."
"No. Gotham will know Robin's still out there, which will be enough." Tim insisted, shaking his head.
Jason stepped up behind Tim and nodded. "Tim's right. You should take the colors. That way you and everyone else remembers that you belong with us."
"But that's why I can't. Robin belongs to Gotham. With Batman." Dick explained, but neither of his brothers looked convinced.
Bruce stepped forward then, placing a hand on each of the younger Robins' shoulders, and looking forward at Dick.
"They're right, Dick. Tim is ready to find his own identity. And... selfishly if Robin's connection to Batman is the only protection I can give you out there on your own, than I want you to have it. I know you created Stray to have more independence from me, and that you've given Robin to your brothers as a way to protect them, but I think Tim, Jason, and I are asking you to let us do the same for you now." Bruce helped explain, and Tim nodded fervently in agreement.
"It's the most logical strategy." Tim said, paused and then added quietly. "And you'll carry all of us with you, no matter where you end up."
Looking between Bruce, Jason, and Tim, Dick felt the heat return to his eyes and he swallowed thickly. He remained silent and looked down for a long moment to hold himself together. When he lifted his head, he nodded.
"I guess I can stick around for a few more minutes to see if one of the uniforms still fits." Dick offered, his voice scratchy.
"I shall collect the most likely options." Alfred told him, stepping up and handing the bundle of what Dick assumed was food to him. "In the meantime, would you add this to your travel pack, Master Dick. I am certain the extent of your packed meals consists of one rations pack and poptarts."
Alfred tried to give him a knowing and reprimanding look, but the emotion clogging his throat and wobbling his normally clear and concise words gave him away. Dick took the bundle with care and nodded, turning to retrieve his bag from the back of the bike.
Within five minutes the bundle is added to the pack. Within fifteen minutes Alfred has helped Dick find the one Robin uniform that still fits him. A small, but meaningful moment passed when Alfred finished securing his cape into place and then squeezed his shoulders, a dampness in the old butlers eyes. At the twenty minute mark, Dick is dressed in all except his mask and rolling the R-cycle out instead of the unmarked black bike he'd taken to using since he'd become Stray. He retied his duffel, fuller than it was before, to the R-cycle. Once he finished, he sighs quietly but heavily.
He turned and found Bruce. A voice in his head said it was both ironic and appropriate that it should end as it began, to which Dick sharply reminds himself that this is not an ending. Not a Goodbye.
He would see his Family again. One day.
He straightened, standing tall. Face-to-face. He offered a humorous smile. "I'm still keeping Stray."
Bruce chuckled. "Selina would claw out the eyes of anyone else who tried to take her gimmick anyways."
Dick grinned at that, and then he sobered a little. Selina had been there two weeks ago. Hadn't come back to the manor with them after it was all done, but she had looked at him and Selina had always been good at understanding Dick. She had pulled him in for a hug that was a little too long and a little too tight. She'd seen it on his face, Dick was sure of it. She'd whispered to him "Stay safe, Kitten."
"She knows... But will you...?" Dick wasn't sure what to ask. What to request. How does one say 'goodbye, but not forever' to a woman that is sorta like your mom and a secondary mentor?
"I'll tell her." Bruce assured him, again with that knowing look. And Dick felt some of the tension leave his shoulders.
After a moment, Bruce looked down and lifted his hand. He held out the domino mask between them and for the first time ever, Dick didn't want to take it. Dick pushed passed the offered hand and rammed into Bruce for one final hug.
"I love you." Dick whispered, reveling in Bruce's strong arms wrapped around him one last time. He pulled back and looked at the rest of his family. He spoke louder, despite his failing voice. "I love all of you."
There were a few quiet responses, sniffles, and Steph bit back a sob. Dick turned back to Bruce and, this time, he accepted the domino mask. It slid into place as easily as it ever had.
Mask secured, Robin turned to his bike and climbed on. He looked back at the cave, the people he loved. The home he'd found here in Gotham.
"I promise." He swore.
The wheels squealed for a moment as he turned around and then he was gone.