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Why had the geese come for him? All he'd wanted was to take a walk by the river, but now he was being mauled by geese. Man, they really were assholes. Everything hurt, and then he finally closed his eyes and died.
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When he woke he felt surprisingly good for someone who had been mauled by geese. He opened his eyes and stared at a thick layer of clouds fully blotting the sky out like a blanket. He was in a park lying on the grass. He quickly stood up, only to meet eyes with some weirdo in a weird-ass costume with two black points at the top. Weirdo. Tommy walked off, ignoring the guy's raspy-ass smoker voice.
He found himself wandering towards a library and shrugged before heading in. He should probably use a computer to find out what's happening, and maybe apply for a job somewhere.
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Tommy successfully got a job and learned he was in Gotham. He was not on the Dream SMP, and honestly had no idea what any of this meant.
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Tommy was wheezing, having finally lost breath after running for hours from Technoblade. The man had been chasing him since this morning, finally going for him after stalking Tommy for weeks. He was safe and alone in a closet he'd found. It was in a lively office building that he'd snuck into. It was relatively deep with some wardrobes hiding in the back corner from sight. He heard the door click open and pressed himself further into the corner, covering his mouth and trying to regulate his breathing.
"Found you." Technoblade looked smug, and then lunged for Tommy. He tried to fight against the larger man but failed and was ultimately pinned down. He felt a needle slip into his neck and he cried out before everything went black.
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Tommy buried his face in his knees, not his hands, not when they were tied behind him painfully. He tried futily to move his wings, but they couldn't move due to their bindings. He knew he'd been getting stalked by Techno, but never thought it would come this far. He looked around and gagged a little. There were hundreds of photos of him covering every inch of the furthermost wall. It was hard to think. He knew he'd been running for hours after Techno had shown up in his apartment, but past that, it was all hazy.
He didn't know what was worse, having gotten mauled by geese and teleported to this strange world, or being kidnapped by this random werido.
Then the door opened and he came face to face with Technoblade, who immediately pulled him into what was presumably a hug. Suddenly there was a weight on his neck and he saw Technoblade smirk. Techno had put a necklace on him. Fucking weirdo.
The door then yet again opened, revealing, as he learned on the internet, Batman, Robin, and Harold the bin man whom he had befriended. They were all here to save him. Which is like, totally awesome. And then a goose fell from the ceiling and came for him.
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And then he woke up snugly in his nest at home. Man, that was a really fucking weird dream. He then made eye contact with several geese, Technoblade, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harold the bin man, Batman, Toriel from hit game Undertale, President Obama, Spiderman, Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, Tobey Maguire, Steve Harvey, Philza, Markiplier, Luigi, Will, Jesus, Simon from hit movie Iron Lung, Susie from hit game Deltarune, Castiel from hit show Supernatural, Russel Wilson, Wheel of Names, Loki, Ra, Steve Harvey in a wig, Howl from Howl's Moving Castle, Alex Brightman, his evil twin, Tommyinnit in drag, Lego Batman, Tenna from hit game Deltarune and his ex Spamton G. Spamton, Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls and his ex Stanford Pines, Sonic the Hedgehog, Kokichi Oma, Usagi, The Horse from Family Guy, Izze, Zoro, Humpty Dumpty from Shrek, Spongebob's House, the wall cotton candy, the band Weezer, Sunset Shimmer, Unikitty, Jeff the Killer, Daniel Radcliffe, Genshin Impact, Tom Nook, Tommy Nook, Timmy Nook, Bowser, Steve Harvey in drag, Jack Black, Tortellini pasta, the continent of Australia, that one guy's homeless mom, Jeff the Land Shark, the number 67, Gerbils, the closet I wrote this from, the dark fountain that gives us form, Carmen Sandiago, Silence, Jessie from Breaking Bad, Edward Cullen, Heather Chandler's body, Miku, Miku again, Miku yet again, Steve Harvey dressed as Miku, the author (from the closet), my ex's money laundering scheme, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, JFK, Mitski, Hermione Granger, Willem Dafoe, Kermit the Frog, Constantine from the hit movie The Muppets Most Wanted, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Bees, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Harold hugged him and said, "Oh hey, you're finally awake."
Tommy then wished he was asleep again, or being mauled by geese. Prime save him. Please. He will beg.
He needed to ask something that had been on his mind, "Harold the bin man, will you be my father?"
"Fuck no, mate," Everyone glared at him and a goose honked, "I don't want to, but it seems I don't have a choice in this."
He was fine now. How lovely was this.
They then partied.
And an alpaca appeared, so they partied harder.