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The change came about suddenly. The vessel bearing the Crest of the Goddess was alive, and so was the Progenitor’s magic, again after many centuries. It bled into Fódlan after the war, creeping as a new born stream finding its way down the mountain. But little by little, it reached even the furthest confines of the land, and even beyond the borders of the new United Fódlan.
It happened to the Archbishop first. White pearly scales erupted on their skin. A pair of ram-like horns grew from their head. That should have been a warning, but knowledge of the affliction had been long forgotten even by the children of the Goddess –they did not wield that power, too young to inherit Sothis’s gift. And so, nobody could have prevented Byleth of the violent transformation they would undergo under the shadow of the new moon. They shed their human skin and their shape shifted into that of a dragon, the holy guardian of Fódlan. And so, it began.
—
Felix was the first in court to be under the magic’s influence. They had been warned by the Archbishop that this would happen; a long missive had been sent to Fhirdiad once Hanemann and Lindhart figured out what and why it was happening. The magic was linked to their crests, that portion of magic which connected their blood to that of the Goddess and through which each of her children lived on in the noble bloodlines of the old Kingdom, Leicester, and Adestria. It gave its bearer power when Fódlan was at its most vulnerable in the darkness shed by the New Moon, but it came at the cost of their human form, and sometimes of their own selves.
Felix had been presenting the symptoms for nearly a week. For days, he complained about an itch behind his ears and about the strong smells plaguing the castle. His hair doubled its length from one day to another, growing wilder and thicker, making it impossible to keep tied in his characteristic, messy bun. His mood became fouler than ever, with fangs visible when he scowled.
Dimitri had been watching the changes gradually take hold of his right hand man. It was difficult not to, with how much time they spent together as of late. Neither of them would say it out loud, but there had always been a longing for that bond lost in the fires of Duscur and the Western rebellion. The war had reunited them and confronted them with truths that had been long left unspoken. Peace time brought along the opportunity of healing and closing the distance they had imposed on one another. And so, Duke Fraldarius had made Fhirdiad his permanent residence. He was fierce during councils, sitting at Dimitri’s right, and even fiercer when Dimitri worked himself into exhaustion. On those occasions, it fell upon Felix to coax Dimitri into taking breaks, eating his meals and keeping up with his training. What then started as short interventions and excuses for pause, soon developed into long walks through the castle gardens, long sparring sessions, and late nights filled with idle chatter. And something else, something blooming behind lingering looks and swift brushes of their fingers. Dimitri dared not name it, not yet, but he was aware it was there.
And so, Dimitri was able to tell something was off. Felix’s symptoms had been bothersome, but he hadn’t expressed anything past a mild annoyance. Now, as their old comrades discussed the aftermath of the last council meeting in the Royal parlor, Dimitri saw as Felix became restless, his foot twitching impatiently and as he clutched his own arm as if holding himself together. He heard how his breath became short and uneven, and how low growls came from the back of his throat. And when he noticed that outside, no moon had risen over the horizon, he had scant seconds to react.
‘OUT!’ Dimitri roared. When his instructions were met with confusion, Dimitri responded with a louder command. ‘NOW!’
Sylvain reacted first, his attention drawn immediately towards Felix at Dimitri’s side. With a curse, he rushed to the door, ushering Annette and Mercedes outside. Dedue, Ingrid, and Ashe lingered a second longer, before meeting Dimitri’s authoritative eyes. ‘Secure the Royal quarters immediately. Nobody must come into this room.’
‘Your majesty,’ Dedue hesitated.
‘Do as I say! Quickly!’ Dimitri roared back before rushing to kneel before Felix, holding his arms as black fur spread through them. ‘I’m right here, Felix,’ he said, as if his words could stop the transformation.
‘Idiot…’ Felix struggled to speak, still resisting the inevitable change. ‘You… must… leave. The archbishop said…’
‘I’m not gonna leave you alone. Not like this!’ Dimitri looked behind his shoulder as he heard the sound of the lock clicking from the outside, finding the room empty. Good. Felix was safe to let go now. ‘It’s alright, Felix. It’ll be ok.’
‘I-I don’t… want to…’ Felix’s words were swallowed by a howl. Within Dimitri’s hands, Felix’s turned into paws with long sharp claws digging into his skin. He trashed, pushing Dimitri to fall onto his back while his own body fell in the opposite direction. From the floor, Dimitri could only watch as Felix’s familiar silhouette became that of a beast: his mouth elongated into a snout with sharp canine fangs, a pair of black pointy ears grew at the top of his head, the bones in his body cracked as his limbs grew and rearranged his skeleton into its new form.
There was calm for a moment. The bipedal wolf stood where Felix had been, panting, and recovering from the strain of the transformation. His front paws hung low near the floor, almost forcing him into a quadrupedal form. ‘Felix?’ Dimitri called, almost a whisper. A mistake. The wolf snapped his head at him. Dimitri met Felix’s eyes, dark beyond recognition, with wide dilated pupils. Then the Seven Hells broke loose.
Felix launched himself at Dimitri, jaws snapping violently at his prey. Dimitri only had a split second to react and meet the blow, pushing the wolf back. ‘My family…’ Felix spoke with a deep and guttural voice. The words sounded broken, interrupted by the snarls coming from Felix’s throat as he circled the room. ‘They died for you, Boar. My brother and my father, dead because of you.’
‘I know,’ Dimitri admitted as he followed Felix’s form with his eyes, cautiously matching the rhythm of his prowling in the opposite direction.
‘YOU’LL PAY WITH YOUR HEAD!’
Felix attacked once more, and Dimitri deflected the blow, thus engaging in a dance between the wild beast and the man trying to subdue him. Felix slashed with his claws, snapped his jaws at Dimitri, and goaded him with his accusations. His howls cried his brother’s name and demanded revenge for his father’s death. Dimitri received words and wounds stoically, defending himself from Felix attack’s, pushing back. He wondered, countering Felix’s unbridled rage, if this is how Felix had felt, back when he himself was barely a man. This was all of Felix's inner hurt and turmoil, all the feelings he repressed under his skin, all the aggression he trained so hard to keep in check —all of Felix bare for Dimitri to see. And so, he would meet him with open arms.
After what seemed like hours, Dimitri thanked the goddess for his crest’s boon of stamina when Felix’s body finally gave out to exhaustion, falling unconscious to the floor. He could only last for so long after the straining transformation and his struggle against the Blaiddyd king. The howls became a whimper as his legs failed him, and with a thud peace came back into the wrecked room.
Dimitri was not unscathed with slashes on his arms and the certainty that bruises would appear come morning. Still, he had enough strength left to pick Felix’s limp body from the floor. He held the wolf over his shoulder but he had just enough strength to lift Felix’s limp body and take him through the castle passages and into his room. He deposited Felix on the bed and pulled to sit next to him. Here, Dimitri would take his watch and make sure that Felix remained unharmed until dawn.
—
‘You are a fool.’
Dimitri’s eyes fluttered open. Harsh bright light filtered into the room through the gap between the two curtains which framed his window. It made his vision hazy as he searched for the voice that spoke to him. Next to him, the blurry image of Felix curled at the edge of the bed. The wolf was gone; the only sign that it had ever taken over Felix was the two ears which remained on top of his head. Instead of claws, Felix’s hand reached to remove a lock of hair from Dimitri’s face. Dimitri leaned forward, closing a little the distance between them.
‘I could have killed you, you idiot Boar.’
Dimitri smiled, almost tempted to laugh at Felix’s poor attempt at admonishing him. ‘I’ve survived worse,’ he replied, stretching from his seat on the floor. His muscles ached a little more than he cared to admit. When he opened his eyes again, Felix was looking at him, waiting. ‘What’s wrong, Felix?’
Felix looked away, pulling the covers closer to him. ‘Last night,’ he mumbled, ‘I said horrible things.’
‘Felix, it’s ok, you were not…’
‘But I was! I…’ Felix paused, words stuck in his throat. Dimitri moved to sit on the bed, placing a hand on Felix’s back. ‘Many of those things are things I’ve thought… before… when I’m at my worst. I… You were never meant to listen to any of that.’
‘I see,’ Dimitri replied.
Felix shifted away from Dimitri, covering himself with the covers to hide his face. ‘Guess now you’ll send me back to Fraldarius, try me for treason, or something. At least, as your advisor, that’s what I think you ought to do.’
‘Is that what you want me to do?’ Felix shook his head. For a moment Dimitri thought he seemed as vulnerable as when he was a child. But no words were coming from him, so Dimitri questioned him further. ‘Then, why do you think I would do that?’
‘Because now you know I did blame you for Glenn and my father’s death. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking that I still do. And I know you don’t deserve that.’
‘You did not deserve a delusional king, with hardly any awareness of reality beyond my wishes for revenge. You still followed me and cared for me when I was out of myself. Don’t I get to do the same?’
Felix let go of the covers. Cautiously, he moved to sit next to Dimitri, leaning onto his shoulder and lacing their fingers together. ‘If you’ll have me.’
Dimitri responded by giving him a gentle squeeze. ‘Whatever you might turn to, and whatever I might become, know that I’ll always choose to have you by my side.’
—
One by one, the heirs of the Goddess’s children turned. The first transformation was always the worst, revealing all which was kept under the surface. The ghosts that haunted Faerghus came rearing their ugly heads as crest bearers turned into wild beasts under the shadows of the new moon. But then came the calm that comes with facing one’s inner demons and emerging victorious. The power became their own to wield. It had always been theirs, even if it had been dormant for a thousand years.
When the change finally came for Dimitri, Felix was prepared. There was no judgement as the half lion King raced across the Tailtean plains, frantically chasing invisible enemies. There was only a wolf that followed at a distance, keeping the lion always in sight. And in the morning, there were two lovers tangled by a hollow tree who had seen the darkest of each other and had still chosen to stay.