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HANG ON! My Content Aware is going off! This story contains some themes that might be troubling for some readers, such as mentions of death, self-harm (nothing graphic though), and suicidal thoughts.
If you're cool with that, then keep on reading.
February 17th...
It was an important day.
One that you hated to remember.
It was the one day you gave yourself a reason to be sad.
To be angry.
To be guilty.
You had the dateviators for about a little over a year now, so most of the objects knew bits and pieces about your past, including February 17th.
You sat in bed. Sad, but not yet sobbing.
It was time to get up.
You should probably get up.
Why won't you get up?
Get up.
Get up.
GET
UP
You shuffled out of bed and put the dateviators on, where you saw Betty, looking like she just woke up. When she saw you, she immediately got up and hugged you.
"Good morning, pup." Betty greeted. You knew what she was trying to do when she called her that. Not yet. You have things to do first. "How are you?"
"I'm fine." That was the default answer that always came from you. "You?"
"I'm good now that I've seen you, but how I feel right now isn't important." Betty answered, caressing your cheek. "You're saying you're fine, but I know you aren't. Now, do you have any intentions or thoughts about hurting yourself, whether it be slapping yourself in the face, or cutting yourself?"
"No." You sheepishly replied.
"I want you to say that to me in confidence, even if it isn't much." Betty insisted. "Repeat after me... You are not going to hurt yourself today."
"I am not going to hurt myself today."
"Again. You are not going to hurt yourself today."
"I am not going to hurt myself today."
"Good. Even then, you know none of us will let you. Abel won't let you. Airyn won't let you. Bathsheba won't let you. The Captain won't let you. Celia won't let you. Daisuke won't let you. Dante won't let you. Dasha won't let you. Dorian won't let you. Florence won't let you. Ron won't let you. Johnny won't let you. Miranda won't let you. River won't let you. Shelley won't let you. Stefan won't let you. Stella won't let you. Tydus won't let you. Vaughn won't let you. Wallace won't let you. Winnifred won't let you. Wyndolyn won't let you. Arma won't let you. Diana won't let you. Maggie won't let you. Kopi won't let you. Skylar won't let you. Farya definitely won't let you. And I won't let you, either. None of us will."
"Can you let me go now?" You requested, trying your hardest to not start uncontrollably sobbing right then and there.
"Aw, don't you enjoy my warm embrace?" Betty teased.
"I do, I just have stuff to do today."
"You say that, yet today is Sibling Mourning Day, so what's your excuse?"
"The people of this house need me. I'll check in on them and then I can spend the rest of the day doing nothing."
"Oh don't you worry, pup. We already took care of that." A new voice chimed in.
You turned around to see Arma and Maggie standing in the doorway. Maggie spoke next.
"While you were asleep, we reminded everyone about today, and they all understood." Maggie explained. "Which means you have as much time to grieve as you want."
"And before you say anything, no, you're not going to be doing that alone." Arma added. "You've had to do that for far too long."
Betty looked over at the bed, where Diana silently watched.
"You can jump in at any time, you know." Betty pointed out, though her tone was more teasing than annoyed.
"Oh! Sorry, sorry." Diana apologised. "I just wasn't sure when it would be appropriate. Either way... Can I get a hug, too?"
"Oh of course." Betty outstretched one of her arms, allowing Diana to join you in her embrace. "Come here."
The hug lasted for about 10 minutes, which was when you pulled away. If for any longer, you would've burst into tears then and there.
"Now, if you guys don't mind..." You began to turn towards the door, but Betty interrupted you.
"Don't think you're going to spend the day building up those feelings of yours, only for something big to happen later and you have to recover for days." Betty teased, though you both knew there was an honest truth behind her words. "Not that I'd mind, but knowing you..."
You looked between your girlfriends. Obviously, none of them seemed like they would defend you.
"And if you're not going to relax, then we'll just have to force you to." Maggie added.
Unexpectedly, Betty grabbed you by the waist and started carrying you.
"Is the living room ready?" Betty asked.
"Should be." Arma nodded. "Come on, let's we go."
You had no say in the matter, but you didn't mind. But you knew you didn't deserve all of this. Sure, you were slightly less harsh to yourself on this particular date, but you were still harsh to yourself.
When you got to the living room, you found the couch decked out in blankets, your favourite one, your weighted blanket, sitting in the middle, along with a fidget cube, a slinky, and a couple of other fidget toys. Underneath the coffee table, there was a red box. Telly was deep in focus, probably figuring out what show you'd want to binge on this particular day.
"So that's where that went..." You mumbled.
"If you're going to be sad all day, why not be comfortable also?" Betty then put you down. "Lets get you snuggled up now."
You weren't given any time to argue. Instead, Betty pulled you over to the couch, and she forced you to sit down. She wrapped your weighted blanket around you, as the other three also got themselves comfortable on the couch.
You settled on watching The Amazing Race for the time being, specifically the season that was filmed and broadcasted the year February 17th became an important day, as it held a lot of nostalgia for you, despite it apparently being an unpopular season from what you've heard.
It wasn't until halfway into the first episode that Kopi had come into the living room. She held a moderately warm cup of coffee in her hands, with a look on her face that said she was trying not to try too much, but also not try hard enough. Since you were yourself, you knew what that looked and felt like.
"Good morning. How are you doing?" Kopi greeted.
"I'm fine." You replied, like usual.
"I have no reason to believe that." Kopi replied, a nonchalant expression on her face. "I made you an affogato... By the way."
"Thanks." You took the coffee and started sipping it.
"Mind if I join you guys?" Kopi requested.
"Not at all." Betty nodded, Kopi sitting awkwardly next to the couch.
You continued in silence, the only sound coming from the TV. Every few minutes, someone would come into the living room, give their condolences, and either watch TV with you, or continue on their day.
"My condolences for you. I am here if you ever want to talk about feelings."
"Ḯ̶̜̫'̵̡̱̀̌̇ͅm̷̯̯̏ ̷̛͍̉̅s̸͚͑̎̊ǫ̷̎̈́r̸̢̔̑r̵͓̥͎̈́͆̕y̷̢̗͊̔͜ ̸̜̑͛̓f̵̤̭̟̾o̸͍͐r̷̲̮̆̎̎ ̵̞̮̪̓́ỵ̸͕̅ő̶̙̂ủ̸̜r̶̡̨̺̉̄ ̵̫̹͍͠ļ̶͍͒̆̊o̷̩͓̾̆͆s̸̳̪̗̓̈s̸͇̈́.̷͍̄͊̈́"
"Holy shit... Penelope reminded me of today. I just came to give you my condolences."
"I'm open to having a drink with you later if it'll help you feel better."
"We both remember that day vividly. I hope you're doing ok."
"As mayor, I have to say, today is a rest day for you. Take as much time as you need to grieve."
"I know you aren't always one for physical affection, but if you need a hug, I'll be here."
"Wall wall wall. Wall! Wall wall. Wall wall!"
"If you feel like you're going to hurt yourself today, don't be afraid to tell me."
After a couple of hours, whether it be the weight of the blanket, or the quiet of the house, you felt sleepy. After a few minutes of fighting it, you fell asleep.
You weren't sure how much time had passed when you woke up. Nobody who was in the living room with you had noticed you waking up, yet, so you had a chance to look around.
Everyone sat around you, some conversing with each other.
You know they're only staying because you're forcing them to.
They don't love you.
You haven't contributed anything.
They hate you.
If you just went and left them, they wouldn't miss you.
You felt tears prick at your eyes, which you aggressively wiped away before anyone noticed. However, your attempts were rendered futile, as someone noticed immediately.
"Hey. Hey, hey, hey..." Arma was the first to run up to you. "What's the matter, pup?"
"I... I'm fine."
"You're rubbing your eyes." Maggie was the next to run up to you. "Which, from experience, usually means you're starting to cry."
"Did you have a dream about her?" Betty asked.
"No, no. I-..."
"You don't have to hold back on us, now." Diana reminded you. "You've had to do this by yourself for way too long, now."
"The... The nagging part of my brain was telling me that... You guys hated me, and... And I was being a nuisance." You sniffled.
"Oh, pup. We could never hate you." Betty murmured, caressing your cheek. "You've done so much for us, after all."
You wiped your eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling, but they became too much for just your fingers to wipe away.
Stop it.
You're being childish.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
The urge suddenly came back. You needed to do it. You had to.
You raised your hand, and your palm collided with your cheek. The pain was noticeable, but it felt good, so you kept going.
"Hey! Hey, pup... You shouldn't do that to yourself." Betty soothed, taking your hand, before you could do anything else. "I know it feels good now, but we can't have your pretty little face get all bruised up now, can we?"
You didn't answer. You were too overwhelmed to speak, which Betty seemed to pick up on.
"It's ok, pup. You're safe here." Betty caressed the cheek that you had started slapping. "You mean everything to us. Don't forget that."
You let out a soft whimper, averting your gaze to the coffee table, more specifically the red box underneath it. Damn it... Why couldn't you hold it off? They're only taking care of you because they have nothing better to do.
"Do you feel like drinking vodka and watching Spy X Family?" Betty asked you. You knew what she meant, so you nodded. "Alright. Let's get set up, shall we?"
Somehow, the rest of the day felt peaceful, even with the fuzzy feeling in the back of your mind.