Work Text:
Item #: SCP-9263
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9263 is currently uncontainable due to its anomalous foreknowledge of Foundation operations and its integration into baseline reality as a high-profile public figure. Direct apprehension is strictly prohibited, as such actions would likely result in a Broken Masquerade Scenario.
Current containment protocols rely on a disinformation campaign and information suppression. Foundation assets embedded within global media networks are to monitor SCP-9263's public appearances and social media activity. Any evidence of anomalous behavior or references to alternate timelines is to be dismissed as "eccentric personality traits" or "humorous marketing strategies."
Interviews with SCP-9263 are permitted only for research purposes and must be conducted by personnel with a Psyche Rating of 4.0 or higher. Interviewers must possess a confirmed high resistance to cryo-anomalous effects and maintain emotional stability when subjected to non-linear causality statements.
Description: SCP-9263 appears as a human male of East Asian descent, with an apparent age ranging between 17 and 32 years. The subject possesses a pale, cool-toned complexion with minor atrophic acne scarring. SCP-9263 stands approximately 177 cm in height and displays a significantly low Body Mass Index (BMI). Notably, the subject's right hand exhibits structural deformity consistent with severe, chronic Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS).
In the current baseline reality, SCP-9263 is publicly identified as the prominent South Korean esports athlete, [REDACTED].
SCP-9263 was initially believed to possess precognitive abilities due to its unparalleled reaction times and situational awareness. However, the subject denies this classification, asserting that it does not "predict" the future but rather exists simultaneously across all potential universes and timelines. SCP-9263 claims to be a singular, continuous entity rather than a collection of alternate variants; as such, no two instances of SCP-9263 can ever physically meet, as they are merely different cross-sections of the same being.
Foundation theoretical physicists hypothesise that SCP-9263 is not a native three-dimensional organism but a four-dimensional entity. This physiology allows the subject to occupy all points in time and space concurrently, perceiving all causalities as a single, immediate present.
During verbal communication, SCP-9263 frequently references events from alternate realities or potential futures, often conflating them with the current timeline. Additionally, the subject displays a compulsion for "jokes" or wordplay involving puns. These vocalizations are accompanied by a localized, anomalous drop in ambient temperature (ranging from -5°C to -15°C), the severity of which correlates with the listener's reaction (or lack thereof).
Addendum 9263.B: Intelligence Gathering Log (Disguised Interview)
Interviewer: Agent J. Park (Undercover alias: "Reporter Kim")
Interviewee: SCP-9263
Location: [REDACTED] Headquarters, Seoul, South Korea
Date: 2026/02/██
Mission Objective: To assess potential K-Class Scenarios in adjacent realities under the guise of a standard pre-season interview.
<Begin Log>
Agent Park: Thank you for sitting down with us. Let's talk about the "global meta." Looking at the current state of the game, do you see any major threats approaching from the outside that we should be worried about?
(Agent Intent: Querying for extra-dimensional invasions.)
SCP-9263: Threats are always present. In Universe-9, the Void creatures crawled out of the monitors and consumed the audience. It was quite messy. We should probably ban Kai'Sa, just to be safe. But here... I believe the biggest threat is neglecting the basics. For example, maintaining one's equipment is vital. Just yesterday, the computer in the lobby had to go to the doctor.
Agent Park: ...The computer went to the doctor?
SCP-9263: Yes. It caught a virus.
(SCP-9263 maintains eye contact with a perfectly serious expression, but his eyes crinkle slightly at the corners. He waits for a reaction that does not come.)
(Temperature sensors register a sudden drop of 5°C. Agent Park pauses, realizing it was a pun, not a report on cyber-security.)
Agent Park: (Clearing throat) I see. Hardware maintenance is important. Moving on to your playstyle. You are famous for your efficiency in "farming" (resource accumulation). Is this something you practice across all realities?
(Agent Intent: Assessing resource consumption or entropy levels in other timelines.)
SCP-9263: Efficiency is key. Farming is honest work. Actually, in Universe-742, I am literally a farmer. I grow broccoli. It is a very peaceful life compared to the chaos here. I was even given an award by the local village.
Agent Park: An award? For broccoli?
SCP-9263: No, for my overall performance. The plaque said I was... outstanding in my field.
(SCP-9263 nods solemnly, as if recalling a fond memory. However, he bites his lower lip to suppress a satisfied smirk. He glances at Agent Park, clearly expecting admiration for the wordplay.)
(Temperature drops another 6°C. Frost begins to form on Agent Park's notepad. Agent Park shivers visibly but continues writing.)
Agent Park: That is... remarkable, sir. Finally, you have a massive following worldwide. How do you handle the pressure from such a large number of "fans"?
(Agent Intent: Checking for cognito-hazards or collective consciousness effects.)
SCP-9263: I am grateful for them. They are essential. Without fans, the system overheats and performance drops. So, I try to keep them close. They keep me... cool.
(SCP-9263 allows a small, proud smile to break through his humble facade. He looks at the frost on the table, seemingly validating his point.)
(Ambient temperature plummets to -10°C. The camera lens cracks with a loud snap due to thermal stress.)
SCP-9263: (Startled by the sound, then looking apologetic) Oh my. It seems the atmosphere has become quite chilly. I apologize. I should have turned down the air conditioning.
(He presses his lips together again, clearly pleased with this final, improvised addition.)
Agent Park: (Teeth chattering violently) Thank you. That will be all.
<End Log>
Closing Statement:
Following the conclusion of Interview 9263-B, Agent Park was treated for Stage 1 Hypothermia and released from the medical bay after 4 hours of thermal recovery. The recording equipment, specifically the primary camera lens and audio diaphragm, suffered catastrophic failure due to rapid thermal contraction and requires total replacement.
Despite the obstruction caused by SCP-9263's "humor," the intelligence gathered regarding Universe-9 ("Void Consumption Event") has been flagged as a credible threat. The Department of Extra-Universal Affairs is currently investigating if the entity's mention of "banning Kai'Sa" was a tactical metaphor for containment protocols or merely game-related advice.
Psychological evaluation indicates that SCP-9263 derives a significant, albeit understated, sense of satisfaction from these linguistic interactions. The intensity of the cryo-anomalous effect appears to correlate directly with the subject's confidence in the quality of the pun.
“What are you reading?” a small voice whispered beside Choi Hyeonjoon, almost making him jump out of his skin. He turned around and saw his crush/new hyeong(?) Lee Sanghyeok standing there in his bookstore apron, looking at him expectantly with one eyebrow raised. “Online fiction?”
“A-ni,” Hyeonjoon scratched his head, “more like a bunch of settings that build on each other?”
It was hard to describe the whole concept of the SCP Foundation, but all the archives were easier to read than an actual novel—at least for him. He didn’t quite get why Jihoon had asked him to check out this specific archive with such a mysterious vibe, though. “One of my friends at school recommended it.”
Hyeonjoon was sitting in the reading corner of the bookstore at that moment, with supplementary study guides and textbooks spread across the table. It had become his new routine: he would come here on days without hagwon, doing homework or studying while waiting for Sanghyeok-hyeong to finish his shift. Sanghyeok would sometimes come over to check on his progress, offering guidance whenever he got stuck. It was nice to have an older brother in university, especially one with A+ grades.
He had been envious of his underclassman Minhyung at first—for having an uncle only slightly older than him who had good grades and taught well—until Minhyung showed him the daily study schedule that his accomplished uncle had planned for him. That schedule was not designed for humans, to put it simply. And Minhyung wasn’t even a CSAT candidate yet, since he was still in Grade 10.
May the Force be with you, Minhyungie.
“Show me.” Sanghyeok reached out, and Hyeonjoon passed him his phone without a second thought. After reading a few lines, the corner of his lips quirked up. “Interesting. A series of short stories created by fans under the same worldview and setting.”
He handed the phone back. “Have you finished your work? It’s almost time to close the shop.”
Hyeonjoon nodded and began gathering his stationery and books into a stack before shoving them back into his backpack. “I used my phone after I finished my work, hyeong.”
Sanghyeok ruffled his hair as if patting a puppy. “Good boy.”
“Ah, hyeong…” Hyeonjoon wanted to swat his hand away, yet only looked up at him with a small, wounded expression.
Sanghyeok closed his eyes and took a long breath, unable to help pinching his cheek before leaving to handle the store’s closing procedures.
After closing the shop and locking the door, the two of them walked side by side along the lane leading back to Hyeonjoon’s school. The street was quiet under the streetlamps, most of the stores already closed. No students were out this late at night during winter break, especially with Lunar New Year fast approaching.
The winter night was cold, and the black, fluffy long down jacket on Hyeonjoon made him look even taller than he already was. He peeked through his fringe at the figure beside him. Sanghyeok-hyeong is shorter than me, he thought to himself. Then why do I always feel like I’m looking up at him?
“What are you thinking?” Noticing his glance, Sanghyeok turned to look at him.
Hyeonjoon shook his head. “Nothing. I just noticed today is Friday the thirteenth.”
“Oh?” The corner of his lips quirked up. “Did anything happen?”
Hyeonjoon thought for a moment. “The barista-nuna made my order wrong this morning, but she gave me the drink for free and an extra box of chocolate on the house, so I guess it wasn’t totally bad luck.”
“Chocolate, huh?” The corner of his lips turned down slightly, though Hyeonjoon didn’t notice.
“Ne.” Hyeonjoon nodded to himself, swinging his backpack to the front and starting to dig through it. “Do you like chocolate, Sanghyeok-hyeong?”
Sanghyeok slowed to match his pace. “Depends on the giver.” Then he paused for a moment. “I don’t like mint chocolate, though.”
“Even hyeong has something he dislikes?” Hyeonjoon sounded surprised, even though he was focused on searching his bag.
“Of course,” Sanghyeok chuckled. “What kind of impression did I give you?”
“A person who doesn’t play favourites? Or maybe someone who treats people fair and square.” Hyeonjoon was distracted for a moment until he finally pulled the box of chocolate out of his backpack. “Eh? A heart-shaped box?”
Seeing how confused Hyeonjoon was, Sanghyeok sighed. “Since today is the thirteenth, then what will tomorrow be?”
“…Fourteenth?” Hyeonjoon looked hesitant, like he couldn’t decide if it was a trick question.
“Fourteenth of?”
“February?”
“And that would be?”
“…Valentine’s Day?”
After a long pause, the blush crept from Hyeonjoon’s ears all the way down his neck almost violently. Sanghyeok wondered, with an unhealthy amount of curiosity, how far it might spread. They had been standing under that particular streetlamp for a few minutes now, and Sanghyeok didn’t mind at all.
“I don’t think nuna meant it like that, though,” Hyeonjoon pointed out the blank card attached to the box, which seemed to be part of the set. Sanghyeok stared at the reddened skin of his fingers. “It’s probably just one of the special products the café prepared for the occasion.”
Sanghyeok hummed as they started walking again. Hyeonjoon stared at the box, then chuckled. Sanghyeok glanced at him briefly, eyebrows raised. Hyeonjoon shook his head. “My friend dragged me to get a tarot reading as a joke on my birthday a few years ago. The reader said my future spouse would be someone older than me. Then barista-nuna gave me a box of chocolate one day before Valentine’s Day. It’s kind of funny.”
As he finished speaking, they arrived at Hyeonjoon’s high school. It was time to part ways, as Hyeonjoon needed to keep walking while Sanghyeok had to cross the intersection.
For some reason, both of them stopped at the same time.
“Do you want to share some, Sanghyeok-hyeong?” Hyeonjoon shook the box lightly and pointed at the bench under the streetlamp. “It has both 70% and milk chocolate, so…”
Sanghyeok shrugged and moved without a word. Hyeonjoon followed him silently.
Hyeonjoon wasn’t sure whether it was strange to share a box of chocolate with a male friend under a streetlamp in the middle of the night, and he wondered if anyone passing by would see them as weird. Probably not, he nodded to himself. Sanghyeok-hyeong had the face of a model citizen.
The way they sat on the bench reminded him of the day Sanghyeok ganked him at the park, though.
“So, do you like the barista-nuna that way?” Sanghyeok asked, eyes fixed on the bench across the road.
“…Not really? Nuna was really kind to me, always treating me when the manager wasn’t around, but I don’t think she likes me that way either.” Hyeonjoon picked up one with a shiny dark shell dusted with pink powder along the edge and handed it to Sanghyeok. Sanghyeok ate it directly from his hand.
Hyeonjoon shivered at the brief contact between lips and fingers.
“But you don’t mind having a partner who’s older than you?” Sanghyeok asked as if he already knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from Hyeonjoon anyway.
Hyeonjoon used the same fingers to pick one with a lighter shell and white stripes for himself. The soft ganache with a hint of alcohol inside made him moan unconsciously. Sanghyeok’s eyes darkened.
After swallowing the richness and making sure he’d finished it, Hyeonjoon finally replied, staring at the bench on the other side of the road as well. “I actually don’t mind, I think. The reader said my partner would be someone mature who I could rely on when I face crossroads in life. And I’ll definitely face crossroads in the future, so I guess it would be a good thing.”
Hyeonjoon turned to face Sanghyeok. Sanghyeok tapped the corner of his own lips, then reached out when Hyeonjoon rubbed the wrong spot. Hyeonjoon watched, dumbfounded, as he wiped the chocolate clean from his face with the fingers that had invaded his dreams for so many nights, then licked them clean. The alcohol in that ganache was stronger than expected.
With his face this close, Hyeonjoon could see how dark his eyes were, like staring into an abyss. Out of nowhere, he suddenly understood why Jihoon had asked him to check out that specific archive.
“You said you don’t mind, so don’t run away,” Sanghyeok said before closing the last distance. “Rando-hyeong.”