Chapter Text
If Blitz could sum up his life in one word, it would be AWESOME! His business was booming, with new clients coming in every day. His daughter was finally calling him dad. He and Stolas were on much better terms and had even started officially dating. And best of all, his top two assassins just had a baby, making Blitz an uncle. He could even say life ruled!
Now, Blitz, Stolas and Loona were in the office boardroom, with the ex-prince organizing papers while the hellhound was scrolling through her phone. All the while, Blitz was on the phone with a client about a job.
"Yes, we'll have that deadbeat boss of yours dead by lunch," Blitz was saying.
"You better! And remember, when his employees find his body, I want it to appear as if he died on the toilet, taking a dump. That'll teach him to deny me a raise before drunkenly running me over with his mustang," the client reminded.
"Died taking a dump," Blitz reiterated as if he were writing it down, even though he wasn't. "Got it. Just remember toilet kills are extra."
"As long as he dies in a humiliating way, I don't care if it costs me my soul," the client said before hanging up.
Just as the call ended, the office door burst open, with an overly enthusiastic-looking Millie coming in, followed by her husband, who wore a carrier that contained a sleeping infant, who managed not to be woken up by her mother as she hollered throughout the room.
"YEEHAW!" she screamed. Running over to Stolas and shaking him excitedly before throwing him across the room, then doing the same with Loona.
Blitz couldn't help but look a bit confused. Millie had always been the rumbunctious member of the family. No doubt about that. And she'd been extra joyous since giving birth to little Maxine. But watching her throw her coworkers around, as if she were in the middle of a brawl, was not something she did unless she had a reason. And it was apparent that she was excited about something.
"Okay, what's gotten you so hyped up there, Mills?" Blitz asked. "Mox boned you last night?"
While this wasn't unusual behaviour coming from Blitz, it still annoyed everyone when the boss talked about his assassins' sex lives, especially when their infant daughter was in the room.
"Sir!" Moxxie sneered while covering his sleeping daughter's ears.
"Gross, Dad!" Loona spat out her coffee.
"Um, Blitzy, remember that talk we had about workplace boundaries," Stolas reminded.
"What? Mills just seemed a bit wilder than usual. I figured it was because her fat-ass husband nailed her crazy last night. Fuck knows how wild I can get after a great night in the sheets," Blitz argued, giving a wink to Stolas, who blushed with a pinch of embarrassment.
"For your information, sir, I lost three pounds in the last week," Moxxie argued. "And second, Millie's excitement has nothing to do with… our private time," he said, whispering the last part.
"Yeah, as it happens, my sister just announced that she's getting married this weekend, and I'm gonna be the maid of honour," Millie revealed.
Blitz's eyes widened with excitement when he heard this. "Sweet! A Wrathian wedding! Been a while since I crashed one of those. Am I right?" he said, referring to Moxxie and Millie's wedding, which made the couple groan.
Stolas appeared confused by this. "Um… what do you mean by…" he attempted to ask before being cut off by Loona. "He went berserk at M&M's wedding. We don't talk about it. So, don't ask for details."
"Thank you, Loona," Moxxie said before returning his attention to Blitz.
"Ah, c'mon, you know how excited I was for you two," Blitz defended. "Now I get to watch as another member of your wild family ties it down."
Millie then began to rub her elbows with an awkward groan coming from her. "Actually sir… the thing is…"
"You're specifically not invited. Quite the opposite, actually!" Moxxie coldly stated.
A dumb expression formed on the imp boss's face. "Say what?"
Moxxie was about to elaborate, but his wife cut him off, believing it would be best if she explained it. Given how Blitz never listened to him. "Well… the thing is that both my sister and her bride… don't want you to attend the wedding in any way possible."
The dumb expression on Blitz's face didn't fade. "I don't follow."
Groaning louder than before, Millie tried to explain in the best way she could without ripping her boss's head off. "You. Can't. Come. To. The. Wedding!"
"Why?" Blitz asked.
"Because one: Sallie doesn't want you to do to her wedding what you did to mine. And two: her bride hates your guts and wants absolutely nothing to do with you! Heck, when she and Sallie invited us to the wedding, they said that if we brought you along, then we would be kicked off the ranch there and then. They even said that your absence would be considered our wedding gift to them."
"Sheesh, what did I do to that poor sap of a bride?" Blitz asked, without showing any sincere emotion, much to the couple's annoyance.
"I knew we should've just said we were going to a weekend opera," Moxxie whispered.
"Hey, watch it, fat-ass. Just for that, I'm not going to let you go to that wedding," Blitz said in response.
This ticked off Millie as fire daggers ignited in her eyes. Before anyone knew what was happening, she'd shoved her boss to the board table, gripping his neck with both of her hands tightly enough to slowly choke the life out of him.
"Blitz, I have been a loyal employee and friend to you, even during your shittiest moments. I've been through hellfire after hellfire because of you and almost died over a hundred times since I started working for you! This is the biggest day of my little sister's life, and if you don't let me go, or somehow ruin it for her, I swear, I will rip your horns out of your head, use them to skin you alive, and shove your fucking carcass through the paper shredder again and again until there's nothing left to salvage of your ruined flesh! YOU GOT THAT?!"
Fear engulfed everyone in the office except for a now awake baby who clapped. No one knew what to say or do. Not even Blitz had a wisecrack to come back at his assassin's threat. Sweating nervously, all he could do was nod in understanding while wheezing, "Gulp... Loud… and clear…"
Seeing that her message had gotten through, Millie released her boss, allowing him to breathe, while she returned to her usual positive, yet violent self. "Great. Now let's wrangle up some no-good human a-holes! Diapers aren't cheap, you know."