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I never had a good relationship with reality, and I probably never will.
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I don't know when it started, but at some point, I began isolating myself from everyone. I only ever left the house for school, and even then, I rarely went outside with my friends. My parents grew tired of meโtired of watching me spend entire days obsessing over some meaningless interest instead of being normal.
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Everyone honestly sucks here.
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Nothing is fun. My feelings are always dismissed, like I'm not allowed to experience real emotions. Like there was always something unexplainably wrong with me, something everyone else could see but I never could fix.ย
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Of course being different is never allowed, everyone has to be one to be accepted in society.
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Even when I tried to be social in class, it didn't matter.ย Teachers always favored the ones who were confident, the ones who spoke without hesitation. They never cared about the quiet ones, never cared about the ones who were trying and failing at the same time.ย
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The numbers were always higher for people who knew how to talk.
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It wasn't my fault that I struggled with anxiety.ย
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I still remember the disappointment on their faces when they found out about my grades.ย
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Don't worry, Mom and Dad.
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One day,ย
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I willย hang higher than my grades.
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