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The sun is starting to set, Jimmy liked it better that way. The streets of Bullsworth looked better when you couldn't see all the grime. The smog turned into something atmospheric instead of just a looming threat of lung cancer. Fall was in full motion and the temperature was starting to drop. The chill in the air settled heavy on his wet clothes, which were more than thoroughly soaked. That's what he gets for swimming in the lake. It always made him feel like he was going catch a brain-eating amoeba. or like typhus, typhoid?
The point was the water was gross.
But Jimmy liked swimming, and he was pretty good at it. It gave him a place away from all the stupid nonsense that went on in town. No one flagging him down for errands or someone trying to settle a rumor, just him and his thoughts.
He just felt like wandering, something sitting heavy on his mind.
Said something sitting firmly in his pocket.
Exploring the shores of the gross lake was usually pretty boring, but only about as boring as everything else was. After shaking down the weird pirate kid and realizing he didn't have any treasure on him, he started paying attention to see if anything of value washed up in the sand.
The kid was probably just some sort of loon, but if there was any gold coins left behind Jimmy was going to find them.
It was mostly just rocks. Sometimes an interesting piece of trash. He found a gum wrapper from 1933 once, not worth anything, but proves just how deeply rotten this shitty town really was. Just layers and layers of garbage built upon garbage.
Anyways, the rocks. One rock in particular.
He's not sure how it got in his pocket. Even if he was the one to pick it up and put it there, he's not sure why he did it. It was like some sort of primal compulsion.
It wasn't even a particularly interesting rock. It was brown, like a rock. It had some specks in it, like a rock. It was vaguely circular, like a rock. Nothing special.
He wonders if he should just chuck it back into the water, solve the mystery that way, but the idea upsets him for whatever reason. He doesn't get it. He just… wanted it. Jimmy didn't usually feel like he had to justify his wants or actions, especially not to himself, but he also didn't usually want things that were virtually worthless. It was pissing him off.
Because it felt like there was a reason, he just couldn't figure it out.
The rest of the walk home is uneventful, along with dark and cold. And pissed. His frustration only builds as he tries to untangle himself. He grimaces at the headache forming behind his eyes.
He just wasn't good at this sort of thing. This wasn't a problem he could solve with his fists, or a couple harsh words, at least as far as he could tell. What was he supposed to do? Get a diary? No thanks.
His focus should be on getting into something dry, something he's reminded of as another gust of wind runs past him. It's such a simple objective, and yet he doesn't find himself in his room. As his feet carry him back onto campus, they take a sharp turn and he finds himself standing in Petey's room.
He likes Pete's room. Despite all the rooms having the same layout, it manages to feel completely different from his own. It probably has something to do with Pete's organization skills, and maybe Jimmy's slight hoarding problem. Its not his fault Pete didn't have tons of cool trophies. Didn't really explain why he walked in here though.
He's pretty sure Pete's room has the better heater. Jimmy's window must need to be resealed, it was always too cold in there. Bad insulation or something. It just felt better in there.
When he enters Pete barely looks up at him before returning back to homework, "Oh hey, there you are." He had been extra busy studying lately. Must have been an important test coming up, Jimmy wouldn't know.
"Were you looking for me?" Jimmy asks. He moves to sit on Pete's bed, but is stopped with a pointed glare, "You're wet.". Jimmy resigns himself to standing. Right.
"And no not really. I mostly trust I won't find you dead in a ditch somewhere." Pete says distractedly, scribbling away at whatever assignment Jimmy wasn't going to bother opening until next week.
"Mostly?"
"I still worry sometimes."
Something blooms in his chest and it dawns on him why he's standing here in Pete's room instead of his own. Whatever annoyance he was feeling earlier slowly starts to fade, tension easing from his shoulders. Or maybe it was just the extra warmth. Whatever it was, he was picking it over dry clothes.
Realizing Jimmy only has plans to stand there and look stupid, Pete turns around to face him, "Did you need something?" he says politely, but they both know he's interrupting.
And, well did he need something? He has to have some reason to come in here and waste Pete's time. Sure, the working heater was nice but it was like there was something sitting in his chest, begging to get out. He's never held back from speaking his mind, but he doesn't know what he wants to say. He starts to shift his weight back and forth as Pete looks at him expectantly.
Trusting his gut, he reaches a hand into his pocket and pulls out the rock. He holds it out, offering it to Pete.
Petey looked at him funny. His mouth quirks and his eyebrows draw together in skepticism and that's when Jimmy makes the connection.
The rock is the exact same shade of brown as Pete's eyes with the same specks of color in it. It's practically a perfect match.
"Here." For you. He doesn't say that part out loud. There's a rock shaped lump in his throat.
What the hell was wrong with him? What kind of sappy bullshit was this? Was he going to start writing poems next? Maybe he did catch a brain eating amoeba after all.
His face burns but he keeps his hand outstretched. This is his hill now and he's going to die on it. Jimmy Hopkins never backs down.
Pete reluctantly accepts it. Their hands brush as Pete takes it from his palm. Jimmy's heart skips a beat and he feels the need to bang his head against a wall.
Was he feeling shy? The idea baffles him. He thought he was immune to being self-conscious,
But here he is in front of Pete Kowalski feeling like a fool.
"What's this?" Pete looks at him, tilting his head expecting Jimmy to explain, which he will not. Whatever feelings currently bubbling up inside of him are to be taken to the grave.
He tries to save some face but his mind is running completely blank.
He just ends up staring into Pete's rock-like eyes for a couple more tense, awkward moments.
Then, Jimmy promptly turns on his heel and storms out of the room, determined to finally change into dry pajamas, and smother himself with his pillow. He had to get out of there before he started saying dumb shit like, 'You have pretty eyes'.
After marching back to his room, he looks at the pajama shirt clutched in his hands. Was he on one, or what? Despite his earlier eagerness to get into something warm he can't help but just stare and grip the shirt even tighter.
For once he wishes he was better at using his brain. He usually trusted his body. His gut usually kept him on the right path, but now he doesn't know what his gut is trying to tell him, or what path he's even on. Whatever, he would leave the introspective shit to someone else. He finally pulls the shirt over his head. It's a bit early, but he's completely spent. He climbed into bed seeking some of the earlier warmth.
He has a hard time falling asleep that night. He doesn't know what was wrong with him, but he needed to get his head back on straight. And fast.
Even if his mind wasn't racing with all sorts of idiotic thoughts, it wouldn't have made falling asleep any easier. He spent the night tossing and turning. Despite all the layers he's burred himself under it was just far too cold.
Jimmy was getting really tired of being confused all the time, but at least this time he knew why. They were sitting in the library trying to study. Beatrice had kindly volunteered to help him with his tanking math grade, but so far it didn't seem like they were getting anywhere.
He crosses his arms, "I don't get it."
Beatrice's smile strains, "Jimmy. I just explained it to you. Again. Could you… point out what you aren't understanding?"
He huffed, "I don't know. If I did I probably wouldn't be so confused." He can tell he's raising his voice when he doesn't mean to, but he just doesn't care anymore. He's starting to feel like he's never going to get it. Maybe he should look into hypnotism, there's probably one down at the carnival that could brainwash the math into him.
"Are you following the process I gave you?" Beatrice asked thinly.
"Yeah. I got seventeen ninths."
"Seventeen…?" She mutters in disbelief as she readjusts her glasses, "Jimmy, can I see your work?"
He pushes the notebook towards her, defeated. He prepares for the worst. Jimmy looks around and is a little relieved to see most of the library empty. Beatrice had no problem being loud with her criticism. This whole study session had already been torture enough without the fucking peanut gallery laughing at him.
Beatrice leans forward, back into his personal space, "This is practically incomprehensible. Here let's go over it again."
As she leans forward to walk him through the problem, again, they are unintentionally cut off by a loud sigh.
They both turn to face Petey, they had forgotten he was there. He looked bored. Jimmy gets it, even though Petey wasn't really here for the help they had totally sidelined him. He had finished his homework over half an hour ago and was just waiting for them to wrap things up. Pete looks surprised that they are looking at him, clearly not meaning to draw attention to himself.
He looks away embarrassed, "Uh sorry, continue." he mutters as he draws in on himself
Beatrice huffs and Jimmy barely catches her rolling her eyes as she pushes his notebook off to the side, "Look, maybe we should just be done for the day. Next time we can cover elimination instead of substitution." Something in her words bite as she gives Petey a nasty look. Jimmy doesn't get it.
She drops the snark and turns back to Jimmy, leaning forward putting her face in her hands, "Maybe we can pick this back up just the two of us? I think you'd focus better with some more… one on one attention." she says playfully.
With his brain feeling absolutely fried, he still doesn't get it. He just shrugs. That seems to be enough for her. She packs her things back into her patched messenger bag and waves him a goodbye.
Great. He's just as stupid as when he started. He takes a second to just sit their and mourn any chance he had at a decent education. He's not sure why he cares so much, it's not like he has ever cared before, but it felt different. Maybe he just didn't want to get thrown out again and maybe…
"You weren't that far off." Petey hums. Jimmy looks over to see he had picked up the notebook Beatrice had pushed aside.
"What?" He's not sure he can handle anymore math talk.
Petey puts the notebook down and points something out to him. Jimmy squints at it, "You can read that?"
Pete's jaw drops as he scoffs, "What? You wrote it?"
He was way too easy to rile up sometimes. Jimmy shrugs, he wrote with his hands not with his eyes. "Whatever, what are you on about?"
Pete has the balls to roll his eyes at him, "I was saying you almost got it. You doubled it instead of squaring it." He scoots his chair to Jimmy's side of the table, "Other than that, this is pretty solid." He leans into Jimmy's space to point out something on the page. He's close enough to hear Petey breathe.
Jimmy is suddenly interested in the incomprehensible scribbles in his notebook, "Wait, really?". He can't keep the surprise out of his voice, he's not sure he's ever been 'close' before.
"Yeah, you just keep making stupid mistakes." Petey mumbles as he continues reviewing the work. Jimmy frowns. Petey uses the pen to point something out to him, "See, here you rewrote the problem you turned the four into a nine on accident. If it was supposed to be a nine, you would have gotten this section right." He side eyes Jimmy, "Maybe… if you wrote a little neater this wouldn't be an issue. You might even get a problem right." he adds teasing.
Jimmy squints, but instead of indulging him Petey pushes the notebook back over to him, "Try again."
Jimmy wasn't expecting that. Ten minutes ago they were both more than ready to pack up and leave, to just throw in the towel and go back to a world where they didn't have to know what a matrix was. It definitely catches him off guard that even though his actual tutor already gave up on him, as most who tried to get any information through his thick skull did, Pete was sitting next to him giving him an encouraging smile.
It catches him so off guard he gets back to work without complaint.
Petey is still looking over his shoulder, checking his work as he goes. Jimmy hardly notices, except for when Petey puts the pen he was using gently between his lips.
Petey almost instantly points out a writing mistake after that, "Double negative, don't forget to flip the sign." Jimmy grunts in response, trying not to think about how close the voice in his ear is. It's making him feel weird. He has to block out Petey next to him so he can actually focus on the task at hand.
It takes him about twice, if not thrice, as long, but Jimmy finishes the problem. He pushes the notebook back to Petey to double check. Petey looks over it dutifully, a small pinch in between his eyebrows and he leans back in his chair, finally giving Jimmy some breathing room.
"Wow. I didn't know you could write this neat." Petey remarks. He's sincere about it, which almost makes it more insulting.
Jimmy huffs and rolls his eyes. "I don't see why it matters."
"Didn't Galloway fail your last assignment since he couldn't read any of it?"
"Well, you can read it so who cares." he grumbles. Jimmy had little patience for lectures, even from Pete.
"Jimmy, I care." And there he goes being way too sincere again! He looks up and Pete has this… stupidly gentle look in his eyes. Like it was reserved just for him. Maybe Jimmy actually can tolerate a lecture every once in awhile.
"He didn't fail me, he gave me a 50."
"… Jimmy that's failing."
He leans back and stretches out, releasing all the tension in his back, "Yeah well, that essay wasn't even worth half that. So, I call that a win."
Petey's face contorts, first in something probably adjacent to conflicted horror, and then something gives way and he begins to laugh. He quickly covers his mouth, they are in a library after all, but Jimmy misses the sound as he watches Petey's shoulders silently shake.
"Shut up and take your time writing." Jimmy can hear the slight giggle in his voice, "I don't want to have to move on to the next grade without you." he suddenly hesitates, breaking eye contact as he turns his attention back to the notebook. He looks a little more hunched over than before.
After a minute or two Petey speaks up, "And Jimmy? It matters because you totally aced it this time." He drops the notebook down on the table triumphantly.
Jimmy doesn't usually care for test scores, let alone homework practice questions, but Petey looks at him like he should be proud. And… he is. Something warm fills his chest.
"Well shit. You aren't leaving me behind anytime soon then." Jimmy smiles at him with a toothy grin.
Petey smiles back, "Good." He's way too close again. Jimmy wonders if he can hear the way his heart is suddenly beating on the inside of his ribcage. It's the only thing Jimmy can hear as they stare into each other's eyes.
Jimmy feels the instinct to turn away. To get some breathing room back. The weird tension between them is slowly reopening the can of worms that is the rock he found on the beach. It's curling around his throat, tightening until he feels like he can't breathe.
"…good." He doesn't move away.
And Jimmy doesn't think about it after that. And Pete never mentions it. Which good, great even. He doesn't have to spend anymore time trying to solve that mystery.
Perfect timing too, it's Thanksgiving break and Pete was one of the lucky ones with somewhere to be. Stupid family who cares about him. They should all have to suffer together. One big miserable family, full of kids who no one wanted.
Anyways, since Pete was gone he decides to go bother Zoe instead.
She's leaning against the headboard of her bed while she paints her nails. Jimmy is face down on the carpet. Getting into the girls' dorm was easier during the break, and as long as he didn't cause any trouble most were willing to turn a blind eye. Which is great because the girls' dorm lacked that distinct smell of mildew in the walls.
"Hear anything from your family?" Zoe asks. It's not that they couldn't sit together in comfortable silence, but Zoe can probably see the angst dripping off of him as he sinks into her floor.
He grunts.
"Nothing? Yeah, me neither." She says like it's nothing. And it feels like nothing, even if they both know it shouldn't.
He grunts.
"You wanna go do something? It isn't too cold out yet."
He grunts.
"Very helpful, but you're starting to piss me off." Her voice has an edge to it. He knows he's testing her patience, he just doesn't care.
So he grunts.
A shoe is promptly thrown at his head. He rolls over on his back. He's not in the mood to fight with her. It's a strange feeling, usually getting riled up was enough to get his blood pumping. Instead, it lies idle in his veins. Everything felt… sloggy. Sure.
"Someone piss in your cereal this morning? What are you sulking for?" Zoe asks, slight amusement in her voice.
"…nothing." He didn't really want to think about piss cereal.
"Wow!" She exclaims in a false, flat excitement, "A real word!"
"Everyone hates me and wants me to die." Jimmy deadpans.
She throws the other shoe at him. "If you're going to be a buzzkill, I'm going to kick you out. Also, you look stupid when you sulk."
Jimmy doesn't grunt this time.
"Talk." And to think this is her being nice.
He sits up, "I don't know. I just hate being here." He didn't usually talk about the stuff going on inside his head. Especially when he didn't understand it himself, but he didn't mind with Zoe. She understood. They were cut from damn similar cloths.
"Did you want to see your mom this year? You haven't seen her since she dumped you here." She asks. Her tone is only curious, a lack of any judgment. They both understood looking for warmth where they shouldn't.
"No. I don't think so." He plays with the carpet, hoping he will find his answers in the fibers. He should be one of the lucky ones. Zoe was local, she didn't have anywhere to go other than this shitty town. If he really begged he bet he could get his mom to let him come home for the holidays. If he threw a 'please' in there she would at least consider it, maybe not the entire break but she could tolerate him for a day or two.
He frowns, "I think that would make me feel worse." He didn't like being stuck here, but it wasn't like home looked all that appealing right now, or ever.
Now that he thinks about it, Pete was local too. If his memory serves him right, he wasn't as close as Zoe, a town or two over, but he could ride the bus home if he needed to. Jimmy wonders if it's close enough to bike.
"So, it's just as awful here as it always is. What's the difference?" She splays her hand out as her nails dry.
"I don't know. It's just worse." His voice is just as hollow as he feels. He flops back down onto the floor. He's itching for something, he just doesn't know what it is. He closes his eyes and tries to open his third eye or something. He wants his subconscious to just… tell him what he wants. To scratch the itch.
"Does it have anything to do with Petey being gone?" She asks playfully. He isn't a fan.
He squeezes his eyes shut, "No." That would be stupid.
"Are you sure?" Zoe giggles.
"Yes." His third eye is shut.
She groans, "God, and you're back to the one word answers." Her annoyance is superficial. She hums to herself, "Well, good news. Turns out he's coming back early."
Jimmy sits up, "Really? He didn't say anything." Something twists in his gut.
Zoe has an exaggerated smile as she leans forward on her bed, "Yes! He's outside right now! Waiting for you to go jump in his arms!"
He scowls, he's overly aware of the shape of the snarl in his mouth, "Shut up and get hit by a car. I hope you die."
Zoe is leaning back on her hands smirking at him. She's wearing one of the old shirts she stole out of his closet. It pisses him off that she looks so comfortable antagonizing him. It pisses him off more that there's something knowing in the glint of her eyes. "Aww, do you miss me like this when I'm not around?"
"No." He grits his teeth, "Because I hate you." He grips the carpet in between his fingers. His nails scratch at the wood hidden underneath.
"You're cute. Make sure you tell Petey you missed him. I'm sure he will be ecstatic to hear how totally useless you are without him around." And there she goes again acting like she just knows things. There's something simmering under his skin. He can't tell if he wants to raise his fists or run for the hills.
"Alright. I'm going to go mope somewhere else then. I've had enough of this." He grunts again as he lifts up off the floor. He's not going to hit her.
"Jimmy, wait." He stops, because as irritating as she is, it would take a lot more than some teasing for him to actually get mad at her. He spares her a glance.
"Can I paint your nails?" She smirks at him again.
They sit on her bed together, his rough calloused hand held tightly in hers. Jimmy didn't usually like painting his nails, but he didn't totally mind. He trusted Zoe's ancient, crusted bottle of black nail polish she usually kept on hand. She said she had been using it for years, but only God and black magic demons knew how it lasted that long.
It's hard to keep his hands still as she paints. He was feeling particularly twitchy.
"I get it you know. Older men and junkies. I recognize the feeling." She speaks gently, a bit too gentle for Zoe's usual demeanor.
"What are you talking about?" he asks maybe a little too aggressively for Zoe's soft tone.
Which she repays in full, she squints at him, like he can't be serious, "You can't be serious."
Jimmy doesn't budge.
She exhales through her nose as she composes herself, "Okay dipshit, when your brain catches up to your heart, let me know. I'm here for you."
Jimmy is about ready to pick a fight when suddenly Zoe's bedroom door opens.
"Petey?"
And there he is. He hovers in the doorway fiddling with the strap on his bag. Jimmy recognizes it as being in the girls dorm made him nervous.
"Oh thank God you guys are in here. I couldn't find you anywhere" he says a little tired. He still has his bag, he hasn't unpacked at the dorms yet. He must have been searching for them since his first step back on campus. Jimmy suddenly doesn't feel so hollow anymore.
"You're back early."
"Yeah, didn't Zoe tell you?"
He doesn't miss the way Zoe hides her laugh in her shoulder.
The sun has been down for hours by the time they start walking the short trip back to the boys dorm.
Jimmy carries Pete's bag, Zoe had insisted on painting his nails as well, they were still a little tacky when she eventually kicked them out. Petey didn't even have to ask. The second Jimmy noticed it he threw the bag over his shoulder without question.
"Why are you back so soon anyways? I can't imagine Bullworth being the 'better' option here. Or ever." Jimmy asks, but it's not like he wants to be home either.
Petey gives a noncommittal shrug, "They can be a little overbearing. Besides, uh, I knew you'd just be holed up here all break."
"Came back to babysit me?" Jimmy grins.
"That's not-" he hesitates before letting out a sigh, "I don't know Jimmy. You could get into all sorts of trouble when I'm not looking. I can't risk it." Petey gives him a small smile.
Jimmy softens a bit, "You're right" and he acts like he's possessed or something, "I'm totally useless without you." the gentle words spill from his lips before he can stop them. He doesn't recognize his own voice.
Pete looks at him like he has two heads. Empty blinking as he processes the words. Something in his head clicks and he glances nervously at Jimmy, "Yeah man," his voice cracks a little, "I knew that. I mean, thanks?" he stumbles a bit over his words.
Petey clears his throat and changes the subject, "Are you going home for Christmas break?"
Jimmy shakes his head, "Not worth it. I'm not going to even bother asking." he shoves his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to spend Christmas with his mom's creep ass boyfriend anyways.
"You don't want to see your mom at all?" Petey frowns at him. They didn't really talk about Jimmy’s home life. This was a weird territory for both of them.
"Not really. It's not like I don't ever want to see her again. It just doesn't have to be now, or soon, or later." Jimmy tries to sound as casual as he could, it was complicated. He didn't really get it himself.
They stop walking as they reach the entrance to the boys dorm. Jimmy can hear him swallow before opening his mouth, "Uh, did you, I mean would you want to… join my family for dinner at some point?" Petey can't even look at him.
The cold night air is starting to bite at his cheeks, so it's not his fault if he's a little pink. "Damn Pete, I don't need your invite to the charity ball."
The cold air must be getting to Petey too, his face flushes, "It's not- It's just that… uh. I kind of talk about you a lot. My parents have been trying to get me to invite you over for awhile now." he speaks to the floor, suddenly captivated by a piece of gum stuck to the concrete.
Oh. Jimmy lands a hand on his shoulder, "Sure," Pete looks up wide eyed, "I mean, its gotta be better than the food here."
Jimmy holds the dorm door open for him as they enter.
They split ways, both of them on opposite sides of the hallway. Jimmy can't stop himself from looking back over his shoulder, where Pete is already grinning back at him.
It's almost nostalgic to see Pete shift around nervously like that. It's been awhile since he's looked so unsure of himself, shifting his weight around, fidgeting with the hems of his sleeves, wiping the sweat off his palms. "Don't take anything they say too seriously, okay? They talk a lot." Man, even that nervous edge in his voice. Really brought back memories of old times.
It was nice to know he was much more comfortable in his own skin these days, especially around Jimmy.
He didn't think family dinner was worth relapsing over, though. Especially since it was his idea in the first place. Whatever, Pete was usually too far inside his own head anyways.
It's kind of strange riding the bus during the day. He usually only took the bus when trying to get home late at night. It was weird being able to actually look at the scenery as they ride out of Bullworth.
It would probably be more enjoyable if they didn’t live in such an ugly ass town.
Whatever, it was still fun. Even if it was just because it was a break in routine.
"Okay okay, won't listen to a word they say." Jimmy puts up his hands in a mock surrender.
Petey looks at him wearily.
"What is it now?"
He gets a long, tired sigh in response, "Just… behave. Okay?"
"Behave? What? You want me to ask about the local real-estate?" Jimmy scoffs a bit, what did he take him for?
Petey buried his face in his hands, "No. Don't do that. Just…be yourself. Or maybe don't do that." He sinks further down in his seat. "I don't know, don't listen to me."
He sunk down to just the right angle for the sun to be in his eyes. Pete's face is still guarded in his hands, but Jimmy raises his forearm to give him some shade, "Okay. I'll behave."
Noticing the sudden shade Pete lowers his hands and looks up at him. He still looks way too nervous for the circumstances, but now there's a slight curve on his lips.
The house is about what Jimmy expected. Definitely smaller than the mansions the preps lived in up on the hill, but not too shabby. A perfectly normal house.
Entirely unintimidating.
And yet Pete's nerves seemed to be rubbing off on him.
Petey looks at him over his shoulder before knocking twice and opening the door, "I'm home."
The foyer is homey. The walls are a faded yellow and all the decor looks like it was picked out randomly from an antique shop. Gave the impression they knew what a 'curio' was.
Two vaguely-Petey-looking adults come down the hallway. They are quick to greet Pete, sweeping him into a suffocating hug asking how he's been. They could be described as 'cozy' and 'doting'. The whole thing felt kind of alien. He doesn't remember the last time someone cared he came through the front door.
And then they turn to Jimmy.
It's very obvious they weren't sure what to expect. He had that effect on people.
The older woman moves first, she smiles a little too wide, it looks painful as she holds out a hand, "Jimmy, right? We've heard so much about you!" her voice had a nasally pinch to it. Her eyes, looking very large in her chunky square glasses, were kind.
Jimmy takes her hand greeting her with a firm shake. He tries to remember what normal, well behaved boys might do in this situation.
"Thank you for having me." He was so good at this.
"I'm Elena," she gestured to herself, "and this is my husband Thomas," she gestured to the tall man beside her, "the pleasure is ours!" Jimmy can see the resemblance. Pete looked just like her.
Whatever reservations they had were quickly discarded. The two boys are quickly ushered into the dining room, dinner was getting cold.
While the initial ice had been broken, the air was still tense. Probably since Petey still looked green in the gills at the idea of anything going wrong.
Jimmy pushes peasant around on his plate as he tries to think of anything to say. He doesn't usually get to spend time with "nice" families.
The silence is broken by Elena herself, "Well, uh Thomas here is a librarian and I'm a hobbyist photographer. What do you like to do, hon?" She leans forward on the table, putting her face in her hands.
He sees Petey wince.
Hm. Vandalism didn't feel like an appropriate answer here.
"I uh, I also like taking pictures. I just got a camera this year, I'm nothing special." The camera was handed to him and the school forgot to take it back. Same thing.
He internally gloats as her face lights up, that was the right thing to say.
"Oh that's just wonderful! I find it so sweet kids are still getting into photography. It feels like a dying art these days. Most kids only do it for a class and never pick it up again." she gently steps onto her soapbox. It's clearly a passionate topic for her.
He shrugs.
"What's your subject? Your muse?" She sparkles, her plate pushed to the side.
"Huh?" Maybe it was too good of an answer.
"What do you like to take pictures of?" Her curiosity is earnest and he doesn't want to disappoint.
However, he only really takes pictures of things that get him a good grade. Or a mediocre grade. He shifts a little in his seat.
Noticing his discomfort she reels it in a little, "Well personally, I've always enjoyed taking pictures of insects!" Petey puts his face in his hands. She continues unaware, "There's something so fascinating about the little world happening right under our noses!" There was a lot of… decor choices, that suddenly made more sense. A lot of bug-inspired imagery.
He lets her go on about antennae and leg counts for a little before deciding to respond to her initial question. "I like taking photos of the freak show downtown. They also have their own little world and… leg counts." he bites back a laugh at his own stupid joke.
Pete's dad gives a disapproving hum, "You shouldn't gawk at them. They are people just like anyone else and deserve some respect." He was a soft-spoken man, but his voice is firm in distaste.
Damn it.
"You're right." Jimmy concedes, "I actually spent a good chunk of time volunteering down there helping out the cause."
Thomas raises an eyebrow at that, he looks skeptical. Which is fair because Jimmy is a liar who lies. "Really? What was that like?"
"I try to financially support them when I can. I always buy a ticket even though I get in for free." he explains like it's no big deal. "And I spent a lot of time taking down some uh offensive depictions of them posted around town." He didn't usually buy tickets, but he did put a lot in the midget wrestling pool and that had to count for something. He also doesn't think mentioning all the smashed gnomes is important right now. Semantics.
Pete's dad nods slowly, "That's very respectable. You're a good kid Jimmy."
Wow, that was easy. Like stupidly easy.
Thomas turns back to the food on his plate, "I know the kids at Bullworth can be rough. Glad you aren't one of them."
"Right." It was time to change the subject.
Dinner goes pretty smoothly after that. Jimmy personally wouldn't have minded if the whole thing went off the rails and ended in some sort of yelling match, it would have felt more homely to him that way. However, he prefers seeing the way Petey eventually relaxes in his peripheral.
Once they finished eating Jimmy volunteers to help with dishes. It's all part of his 'well-mannered stand-up citizen' act. He also just liked helping. He wouldn't usually advertise that, but he can only help so many random strangers in town and still keep that fact on the down low.
He stands with Elena at the sink drying dishes as she hands them to him. They work in smooth tandem. It's nice. It's kind of annoying at how easy it feels.
"I want to thank you again for coming over Jimmy." Elena says sweetly. She says it like a secret. Petey and his dad were somewhere behind them catching up about schoolwork or something.
"Uh, yeah. No problem." The space between them is suddenly too small. It's making him antsy. Everything is just way too domestic. What is he doing here?
"Ever since last year, well. I don't know. You know how teenagers are." She dances around the topic, "I know Bullworth was rough on him, but Pete just always looked so sad and would never tell us anything." she gossips, "But ever since last year or so, he started telling us about you."
He doesn't have a response to that. The kitchen suddenly feels kind of stuffy.
She sighs, "I don't know what you did, but he seems much happier now. You must be like his knight in shining armor, saving him from his own sulking." She turns to him with such a soft expression on her face he might be getting sick.
The room is suddenly much quieter, only the sound of running water as everyone waits for his response.
"Uh. Okay." Nice one. He wracks his brain for any sort of meaningful response, but he comes up empty. he can't even put two thoughts together. All he can think about is the twisting feeling in his gut.
His eyes flicker to Pete, who looks mortified. He's exceptionally pale as he sits at the dining table with his father, whatever conversation they were having was interrupted by Elena's observation.
The tension is thick. Jimmy does nothing to break it. He just keeps drying dishes.
The evening wraps up without anymore strange conversations. For the most part.
"Take good care of our Pete, okay?" Pete's parents wave them off as they walk back to the bus stop.
They walk in silence. Petey looks like he just got off the front lines of The Great War. They stop and wait for the bus to come get them.
"I think that went well." He can't hide his shit-eating grin.
Petey groans.
"What? I was on my best behavior." He's being annoying and he knows it.
He gets a pained look in response. "Fuck off."
Jimmy puts his hands up and relents.
They go back to waiting in silence. It's been a long day. The sun is starting to set. It will be fully dark by the time they make it back to the dorms.
The silence gives him space to think. There was a lot to process.
He doesn't get why Petey had been so nervous. His parents were kinda strange, but the way he was sweating earlier Jimmy thought they were serial killers or something. They were perfectly pleasant. Weird, but nice.
Jimmy manages to keep his mouth shut until they are sitting on the bus again, "Well I had a great time."
Petey looks out the window even though it's too dark to see anything. He spares him a glance. "Really?" he asks uncertain.
"Yeah. I don't know what you were so worried about." he leans back in his seat. The bus is mostly empty, there's plenty of space to stretch out as he pleased. "Your mom is hot. I think we really hit it off."
Pete whips around to look at him wide-eyed, "Don't." Jimmy watches as he struggles to find the words to describe how much Jimmy is not allowed to hit on his mom. It broke him out of whatever mood he had been stuck in, maybe Mrs. Kowalski had a point after all.
He puts his arms behind his head, "and y'know what? I like being your knight in shining armor." he says it cause it's true. It brings back the strange twist in his stomach, but it feels good to say out loud. "I guess that makes you Prince Charming" Jimmy snorts at the idea.
The other boy falters. He scans Jimmy's face, scrutinizing him before looking back out the window completely embarrassed. "That's stupid."
"No it isn't." Jimmy sits up and takes something from his pocket, "Now tell me, does Prince Charming like the applesauce or the mushed carrots better?" he pulls out a small photo of Pete as a baby, notably covered in food.
Petey's face twists in a way Jimmy doesn't think he's ever seen before. "What!? Why would you take that!?" He lunges across Jimmy's lap to swipe at the photo, but it's kept firmly out of range.
"I didn't take it. Your mom gave it to me. Said I could appreciate it with my fine eye for photography." he has to push down his laughter. This was too good.
Pete's eyes have a light of violence in them. He looks ready to fight Jimmy for all he's worth. They sit there for a second, Jimmy watching the blood rush to his face as Petey stammers for something to say. He swears he sees one of his hands ball into a fist.
He would love to know what would happen next, but the bus rolls to a stop. They are back in Bullworth.
Petey hunches in on himself as they exit the bus, "You aren't allowed to come back."
"What? Are you kidding? They loved me! I'll be a regular in no time!" he boasts.
"I'm going to tell them you died in a horrible accident." Petey says solemnly.
"Can you tell them I died a hero? I have a reputation I'm trying to maintain."
Petey scoffs, "Since when do you care what other people think?"
The street lights are harsh on Petey's usually softer face. He looks good, the lighting bringing out all the right angles, "Pete. Always. Duh. I beat up the whole school to get them to like me." That was an oversimplification to say the least.
"I thought you did it for like, justice. Setting things right and all that." Petey waves his hands around as he talks.
"Sure. People like justice, therefore they like me. Keep up." The town is so quiet. It really feels like it's just the two of them out here.
Petey pouts, "I don't like you."
And Jimmy grins. He feels incredible, like the world belongs to him, because he is entirely and utterly sure that that isn't true.
"Are you sure? Apparently you had a lot of nice things to say about me."
Pete shuts up and refuses to look at him the rest of the way home.
Jimmy only misses his face a normal amount.
Jimmy is very good at knowing what he wants. He's usually so good at it he doesn't even have to think about it. By the time he knows what he wants it's already in his hands, or maybe clenched in his tight fists, either way.
So why is it suddenly so hard?
There's something longing in his chest. He can't place it. It threatens to consume him whole.
His mind is clearly wandering. It's only kind of an issue. It made him miss all the signs that it's going to rain. He was riding his bike through some back roads when he started to feel raindrops on his face.
It was all a recipe for disaster. The rain, the early winter nightfall, the distracted thoughts.
It's really no surprise when he ends up flying over the handlebars.
He doesn't have time to see what he hit before his face smashes itself into the dirt.
Pain blossoms in his face, he worries briefly about breaking something but it's too hard to think of anything other than lying there in the dirt.
He tries to pick himself up but is largely unsuccessful. Any attempt at movement makes his vision waver. It's too dark to tell, but he's pretty sure he's seeing spots.
He flips himself over on his back and waits for moving to feel like a viable option again.
Before he knows it it's fully raining. That's concerning. He didn't notice it picking up a few raindrops to outright pouring. Actually, how long had he been lying there?
His brain couldn't compute more than 20 seconds at a time before forgetting where he was and what he was doing. That probably wasn't good.
He couldn't focus on anything other than vague aching in his everything everywhere, and the cold rain coming down on him.
He simply lies there and takes it, growing numb to the cold.
He has zero clue how much later, but the rain stops. Which is strange because he can still hear it.
He opens his eyes to see Pete standing over him with an umbrella, "Jesus Christ." He looks worried. It's kind of hard to tell in the dark. Everything was a little too fuzzy to be sure.
Maybe in his delirium he has simply imagined Petey standing over him. Like some sort of guardian angel.
Pain must be one hell of a drug, he closes his eyes again as he feels hands on his face. It's nice. His hands are warm against his skin. He's suddenly aware of just how cold he is. He had mostly grown numb to it, but now he finds himself craving more of that warmth.
He feels Petey's fingers move down his face and press against his neck, "I thought I said I could trust you not to end up dead in a ditch."
"Mostly."
He faintly hears Pete laugh, he sounded stressed, "Right. Mostly. How long have you been out here?"
Jimmy has zero clue. "Not sure. How'd you find me?"
"Ted mentioned you were out here." He feels the fingers trace back up to his face, they gently brush his nose and wipe something off his cheek.
"You asking about me? You my keeper or something?" Despite how out of it he feels, taunting is like second nature.
He regrets it almost instantly, Pete's fingers draw back for a second suddenly unsure. Thankfully, he doesn't go far, "It's freezing out here." his voice is barely above a whisper. "What's the damage?"
"Smashed my face in." It was really easy to forget where he was and what he was doing. It kind of felt like it had just been him and Pete here forever.
"Can you stand?"
"Haven't tried." He had, but it had been awhile. It was probably time to try again.
So, he let's Petey take his hands and pull him up. All the spots in his vision return full force, but it's bearable. He's soaked and covered in dirt but he's taken a fair share of hits to the head before. If anything this is the easiest it's ever been to get up and dust himself off. He doesn't usually have a shoulder to lean on.
It takes most of his focus to put one foot in front of the other. It makes the whole walk back to campus a blur. The only things he stays truly aware of are walking, the reflection of the streetlights on the wet concrete, and the feeling of Pete pressed up against him.
Before he knows it he's tucked into bed. Finally feeling like he can let his guard down, Jimmy Hopkins is out like a light.
He wakes up feeling like shit. Just straight awful. There's something else on top of the bruising in his face. A rasp in his chest and a sore throat.
However he hardly notices the general dull ache thrumming through his body, he's busy focusing on the gentle hands on his face. For a second he thinks he's still lying in the dirt road in the middle of the night, but he is far too comfortable for that.
The hand traces his cheekbone and trails down to brush against his lips. Which stings pretty bad. Jimmy sucks his teeth as he grimaces. The hands stop and pull back.
"You're awake. I had to make sure you weren't comatose or something." Petey's voice strains a little. Jimmy opens his eyes to see him sitting on the bed looking a little embarrassed.
Jimmy grunts. It's about all he can give at the moment. He looks around the room and slowly realizes it isn't his.
"Your room?" he croaks.
Pete rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, "Yeah? You asked to stay in mine. Something about it being warmer? Do you really not remember?"his voice raises in pitch as he talks.
Jimmy stares at him blankly. If his brain could catch up with his ears, he would be burning hot with shame. Sure, he probably at least mildly concussed, but had they ruled out demonic possession?
Pete's eyebrows furrow at his silence. The concern on his face is apparent. This time Jimmy keeps his eyes open as Petey reaches for his face. He presses a hand against his forehead. "You're feverish." he states before adding on a muttered, "I guess that's what you get for lying out in the rain."
The weight shifts on the bed as Petey moves to get up, but the actual biblical demon living in Jimmy's brain takes over for a second. Before the hand on his face can leave, he places his own over it keeping it in place.
He's not sure what the fuck his problem is, but he suddenly can't bear the thought of being alone. Some gross creature crawling out of his chest begging him to stay. Maybe that was just phlegm.
He hears Pete swallow, "Uh, I need to grab you some medicine. I think you caught a cold, and you um probably don't feel great."
Jimmy stares blankly at him again.
Pete's face grows pink, "You also probably have a concussion. I should grab an ice pack or something." he rambles on.
Jimmy loosens his grip and lets him go.
Something had to be wrong with him. He had a pretty good immune system, he ate a lot of dirt as a kid, but on the rare occasion he did get sick he always spent it alone. If it couldn't be powered through, then it could be slept off. He doesn't think he had never felt so needy before.
Gross.
With Pete out of the room, Jimmy readjusts himself in the bed. Pete's bed. Right. That smells distinctly like him. Of course. His head hurts.
He sits up a little and looks around. What time was it?
His eyes land squarely on the desk. It's neat. Organized. Pete didn't really keep a lot of clutter in his room, and yet.
And yet.
Sitting on the desk is the stupid fucking rock Jimmy gave him. Sitting right there next to his books and pens.
The stupid rock that looks exactly like Pete's stupid eyes.
His head really hurts.
By the time Petey comes back in the room he feels thoroughly insane.
He accepts the medicine and drink without complaint. It still feels weird to have someone by his side, but he's got going to lie and say he prefers being alone. He gestures for the water and Pete hands it to him wordlessly.
Now what does he have to ask for to get Petey's hands on his face again?
"You kind of look like shit." Pete remarks. Despite the words themselves, his voice is low and soft. It's way too tender for Jimmy to deal with.
He looks to the far wall, "Kind of feel like shit." he mutters.
Pete nods, clearly willing to let him off the hook. Conversation took a mental motor he didn't really think he had at the moment.
And yet.
He opens his mouth anyways.
"You kept the rock?" he lamely gestures towards the desk. "That's stupid." It's stupid.
Why would he keep it?
He's still not even sure why he gave it to him. Petey gives him a stiff shrug. Looks like they both didn't know. Jimmy yawns, all this not knowing got tiring quick.
"You should get some rest. It will make you feel better." Petey practically whispers. It makes him shudder.
This time it's Jimmy reaching out as he grabs Pete's hand and tugs. The other boy timidly slides under the blanket with him. "It feels better when you're here." He doesn't recognize his own voice. It's way too affectionate.
Pete makes some sort of strangled sound in his throat. "Oh."
They lay in comfortable silence. Jimmy clings to his hand.
Petey clears his throat, "I uh, called my mom earlier. I wanted to ask about what she did when I was sick." he softly laughs to himself, "When I told her you weren't feeling well she offered to come down here and take care of you herself. You really her charmed."
"Obviously. I'm really charming."
"Yeah. You are." It's spoken so quietly he suspects he wasn't supposed to hear it.
He falls back asleep with the feeling there's eyes on him.
It only took a few days for thinking to not hurt anymore. His killer immune system also kicks in pretty quickly. He's back into his strapping young man self.
As his mind clears it's pretty obvious to Jimmy that Pete has something on his mind. He hadn't totally reverted back to his scared baby deer self, but he could see the familiar signs.
The fiddling, the stammering, the averted eyes. Jimmy knew them well.
He let's Pete simmer on whatever he's sitting on. It's none of his business. Even if he's curious, Jimmy has his own things going on he rather keep to himself.
It was nice outside for once, the sun making a rare appearance. Jimmy dragged Pete outside with him to enjoy the relatively warm weather. After a bit of aimless wandering he decided the might as well brush up on his slingshot aim practice.
That's to say, it took less convincing than he expected to pull Pete up into a tree behind him. He firmly grabs Pete's forearms as he steadies him on the branch they are sharing.
"I'm not gonna drop you."
Pete takes a deep breath, "Right."
After they fully settle together, they watch over the park together. While it was sunnier than usual, the occasional gust of wind blowing past made sure they didn't forget winter was fast approaching. It gave them reason to stay close.
It was making his aim better, he got a clear shot at knocking a sandwich out of some random passerby's hands. Awesome.
His skills were nothing to laugh at, but he was never that good. Pete must be some sort of good luck charm. Thinking back on it, without Pete he would never had made it this far. He can't even imagine where he would be without him.
He doesn't realize how sentimental he's gotten until it's staring him in the face, which Pete catches him looking and looks away clearing his throat.
"Jimmy, can I ask you something?" There's something heavy in his tone. Whatever has been bothering him recently, this is it.
"Shoot." He prepares for whatever interrogation is waiting for him.
Petey scoots away the tiniest bit and Jimmy feels every nanometer of it.
"If, uh, I'm wrong we can just forget it. Like seriously, we don't have to talk about it ever again," the words spill out of his mouth before he can reel them in. "I'm not… I don't have the most experience with this sort of thing, but I feel like I've been getting some weird signals from you."
Jimmy nudges him to knock him out of it.
Petey looks straight ahead at the horizon, his entire body going painfully stiff, "Have you been flirting with me?" he sounds like he's going to pass out.
Jimmy… didn't have an answer to that. The silence between them grows as their legs dangle above the rest of the world.
"Huh." Wrong answer. Petey flinches. He really does wish he had something intelligent to say.
"I just mean, I feel like you've been kind of overly nice, and you're always looking at me with this weird look in your eyes, and you're kind of… touchy." His voice goes up an octave, he's barely audible by the time he's done talking.
Oh shit. Was he?
Jimmy screws up his face and really tries to get his thoughts together.
He was no stranger to romance n' stuff. Between all the schools he had jumped between he had made out with more people than he could count. They didn't always start, or end, with dates, but he had done plenty of that too.
He could admit it, he just liked kissing. It was one of his main hobbies if he was being honest, but he could also admit he probably liked kissing more than he actually liked the person he was macking on.
Was this like that? Was he taking out his dry spell on his best friend?
Jimmy couldn't confidently rule out the possibility, but something about this felt different.
He just liked being with Pete. Being by his side undeniably made him feel good. Studying, family dinner, dragging each other around town. Jimmy didn't care.
Now Jimmy was a leader, the king of the school even, but he suddenly realizes he wants to follow Pete wherever he may go.
Out of all the places Jimmy's mom had ever dumped him without second thought Bullworth was by far the shittiest, but no where else had Pete. He doesn't want to be anywhere else.
There's such a deep sudden yearning in his chest he can't breathe.
God, how long had he been living like this? Blindsided by his own feelings?
Everything is suddenly different, but it's still just Jim and Pete sitting at the top of the world.
Speaking which, the other boy is starting to look woozy at Jimmy's lack of response, teetering on the branch. Was he even breathing?
Jimmy puts a hand on his back to steady him, "Uh, yeah I guess."
Pete finally turns towards him, looking somewhere between disbelief and nausea, "Huh."
His tongue feels too clunky in his mouth, his face is too hot, and he is utterly too full of want. "I…" Jimmy struggles to find the words he wants to say.
He closes the space between them so they are sitting thigh to thigh again. He raises a hand to Pete's cheek and just takes it in. Pete warms under his touch.
He leans in until they are only a couple inches a part. Pete looks at him wide-eyed, he's definitely not breathing.
"I really like your eyes." Jimmy murmurs. It feels really good to get off his chest.
Petey awkwardly chuckles.
Jimmy closes some of the already minuscule distance between them, "Can I have this?" He doesn't know why he suddenly needs permission so bad, but he wants the entire world to spin at whatever speed Pete wants. It's suffocating.
Pete swallows as he glances at Jimmy's lips, "Hah… yeah…" he gives a shaky nod.
Jimmy doesn't waste anymore time. He kisses Pete like he has everything that ever mattered in his hands. It's incredible.
Pete moves his lips hesitantly, like he isn't sure he's allowed to. Jimmy makes up for it and kisses him harder as he slides a hand up Pete's back to cradle the back of his head. It's clear Jimmy is the more experienced of the two, but he doesn't mind. Pete grabs Jim's shirt like he might suddenly disappear, or like he might fall.
The kiss gains momentum as Pete gains confidence, fully meeting Jimmy with clumsy intensity. Jimmy parts his lips to further deepen the kiss, pushing a little too hard and almost sending them crashing to the ground. They reluctantly separate, still tightly holding onto each other breathing heavy.
Whoever wrote that goofy nursery rhyme didn't really think it out all the way.
Pete looks enchanting. His pupils are blown wide and his lips are shiny with spit. It takes a lot of his self control to not go straight back into kissing him.
Jimmy's eyes track the way Pete licks his lips before speaking, "I really want to keep doing this, but can we go somewhere, uh, safer?"
"We can do anything you want." Jimmy answers without thinking twice.
Petey blinks at him before regaining his composure, "Help me down?"
And Jimmy does.
As he holds out his arms to help catch Pete on his way down, he's struck with the mental reminder of being his "knight in shining armor". It makes his chest swell with pride and purpose.
Even though they both have their feet on the ground again, Jimmy doesn't bother letting go of him. Pete glances around at their surroundings and the people passing by. He looks unsure what to do with himself.
"What do we do know? I've never done this before." Pete says quietly.
"What do you want?" Jimmy asks, ready to give him whatever he asks for.
Petey looks down at his feet, "What do you want?"
"You."
Petey does a double-take, he wasn't expecting Jimmy to be so blunt with it. "…Okay."
"Yeah?" Jimmy can feel his tail wag.
Pete swallows as he looks Jimmy up and down, "Uh, it's cold out here, do you wanna go make out in my dorm?" it's uncharacteristically bold, especially since his voice still has an underlying layer of nerves.
Jimmy can't drag him back to campus fast enough.